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Me, Mensah & The Hoodrats!

Just a random thought. So that's how I met this guy, let's call him Mensah. So Mensah is a great guy; phoneh speaking, luxury living, fine wining, lavish dining... And I'd be honest I've put on a few pounds in the last few weeks. Mensah loves his food. I wouldn't describe him as wealthy but he loves the good life. Ergo, midday lunches at Marcopolo (he's the one who wanted me to Negotiate at his meeting), Pataya, Talindo (Thelma you just have to try the steak, it's this *gestures with both hands* thick!), and everywhere else they have great food. Places I never even knew existed. He spares no expenses when it comes to good food. We've led different lives; for secondary school he was in boarding house in England, and college in France, so sometimes it gets tempting to tweak a few facts when we walk down memory lane. 

For some reason, maybe because I'm not the best of liars I just took a "whatever" approach to things. Last week I went somewhere in Ijesha and I had this amahhhhhzing amala with ewedu and gbegiri (probably my second best meal) and it was the bomb! Told him all about it, even though he was looking at me like I'd just told him I kill puppies for fun...

Also told him about my mother's spot where they do great 'point n kill', goat meat et al. Plus when he asked where I grew up; proudly Surulere #ni-ojuelegba-o-they-know-my-story

Anyways that's how two days ago, I dropped by at his site, he asked them to go get me lunch and when they came to call me to eat, who did I see but somebori that I used to know

Haaaa! Small world. The guy starts asking me where I stay now and when I left 'lere, when I told him, he said "Ah, Ope o! You made it out the hood!". LOL, I wasn't exactly in the "hood". The guy goes on to talk some things he shouldn't have but whatever...

That same night Mensah and I went to eat fish peppersoup at this joint in front of Ikota villa. We were to meet up with his friend. Turned out to be someone else I knew back then in surulere. I hadn't seen him in years! He doesn't even allow me to put the fish in my mouth before he starts "ah, I hope you like this one. Does your mummy still have that fish place? That place they do point and kill? Do you still go to Ijesha? Ah you used to like amala-shitta, and Olaiya, and bank olemoh designer rice. do you still go there? You remember Angels abi? That place near under masha bridge that you and your friend used to go to..." On and on he went.

Choi. My people!!!!

Now imagine if all these happened while I'd been forming butty for Mr Mensah, don't you think I would have dug a hole and jumped inside it? Jeez these hoodrats have no chill!!

The moral of this story (if there's one) is be yourself (provided you're not a sociopath or something equally sinister), honesty, even when it's (considered) embarassing is more honorable than shame. 

No, the shame isn't in my Surulere days (which are still very much a part of my present), the shame is in being caught in such hopeless lies.

All the formers in the house take note!

Ps; Mr Mensah being friends with all these hoodrats just goes to show that he's just a hoodrat who cleaned out nicely! Hehe. 


But be honest, have you ever been caught in a lie? I have! Early last month I stood someone up and later that day lied that I had to make an emergency trip to PH the previous day. "But I saw you in church this morning" he said. Dang, I didn't even know we attend the same church. #cringe. Share your cringe-worthy moments with me!


  1. Funny....that dude sha he didn't even let you drink water and drop the cup before downloading your life history.

    Can't remember any cringe worthy moment for now.

    1. As in ehnnn!! The guy had no chill at all o'' lol. Honesty pays biko!

  2. The truth is most people were once hoodrats, except your parents were very rich. Thank God I made it out of the hood. Hardwork pays.

  3. Loved reading this post, I couldn't stop laughing cos, I came back from my folks place over the weekend with raw groundnuts (still in shells). It was the last item I picked after I almost forgot it.

    My hubstar was asking what I need the nuts for, so I got back from work to roast my nuts still in the shell in my frying pan, every where filled with smoke. The hubstar was ranting about my localness.

    I got my ijebu garri an nut, I offer him some, he says naaaaa, not interested. I go to my kids room to smoke some garrium.
    He stops by to gist and tastes the nuts, he grabs the bowl of nuts and walks aways, saying this is amazing.

    Now, who's local.

    I have had me some silly lies, top most was when I told someone I was in the university, where as I was yet to get my admission letter. He asked what semester I was, and I said "THIRD SEMESTER"


    1. LMAO!!! Gbagaun!

      Mine was when I was at the palms some years ago and some of my friends who had been in yankee for years called me so say they were in naija and we should hangout. I had neither money nor a car then and I didn't want to fall my hand so I said I was in ph handling some business, I was still talking on the phone when I saw them in front of me. Till now I can't remember how I reacted, I sha started blabbing. The shame hasn't left me till now.

      Meanwhile I done dey taya for this island life sef. I think I want to go back to the reality and comfort of lere. The fakeness here isn't for a simple soul like mine. I can't deal. Lemme go back to my isi ewu, nkwobi, point and kill and big stout. These people here might as well be aliens, we have nothing in common.

  4. Island is v.i and ikoyi. Anything outside of that isnt island.

  5. And so Thelma went to Ijesha...... ok oooo.

    A life of pretence pleases no one. Is Surulere a bad/poor place to live? People and standards... never forget humble beginnings....

    1. When I wrote Ijesha I just knew Enjay will kill me. But if Enjay knows that most of my waka isn't planned then maybe she will forgive me. So let me take it that you're not coming on Saturday. I will make sure you make it this month and I will make it up to you. I promise.

    2. Lol. I wanted your heart to do a double flip hence my comment... it's all good. I understand how erratic your movements can be. Just that you'd probably pass my town and house on your way to Ijesha.... :)

      I can't make it on Saturday. Though I'd love to come.

  6. Sorry but what is wrong with surulere? And what is wrong with mama running her fish spot? She was earning an honest day's salary.

    Its only wannabes that subscribe to the school of thought that because you grew up a certain way means you are only entitled to a certain class of friends. Well rounded adults tend to socialise across peeceived class lines and do so rather effectively.

    I for one find that people who are often stuck on class constructs in terms of making and keeping friends are those trying to compensate for some level of deficiency in their lives. Island, mainland - all na land- pick the life you want as an adult....

    1. Lol @ all na land. My next door neighbours moved to VI when we were teens. Immediately after the move my friend cut everyone off and swears that she's lived in VI since she was in kindergarten. This is someone married with kids btw, no longer a child, and she still sticks to this story. Now I wonder if all along I've acted this way and what happened three days ago had happened to me. Where would I begin?

      i only refer to Surulere because that's where I grew up and that's where the things happened, not because there's anything wrong with it. @Enjay.

      But then I also remember someone asking me years ago; "Surulere, Ajegunle, any difference?" It was a rhetorical question asked by an elitist snob, and I'm writing this in response to your question; what is wrong with... It's all about perception. Nothing was, and nothing is wrong with most places in lagos.

    2. Surulere and Ajegunle?! What a comparison? Some people have got their heads up in the clouds for sure. I know there's nothing wrong with Surulere. Even residents here discriminate, bode thomas and the environs versus Aguda, Aguda versus Ijesha...

      I think some people have this perception that 'you are where you were raised'. It has an effect on who you are. I've seen beautiful hearts from both the slums and the creme.

      My only discrimination of Ijesha, why I can't stay there, is their water, electricity and road issues. But I have a friend there, I'll surely visit.

    3. *but if I have a friend there, I'll surely visit.

  7. Mehn,ive never eaten Amala before...*covers face*

    1. Please justify it by saying you weren't born in Lagos..... if not, how did you escape that? :)

      You don't know what you're missing...... Even my two year old daughter can attest to that.

    2. Say what! And you leave in gidi? Please correct that error quickly.

  8. Everything is all about perception...

  9. Everything is all about perception...

  10. Amam Shitta used to be something else. As early as 7am, d amala n ogunfe wd be ready. Are they still there? I used to go in d mid eighties.


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