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"I Never Promised You Marriage!"- (A Wrong & A Remedy).






"I never promised you marriage" was what he kept repeating, nay, barking. Of all the things that were said in that tumultuous period, that's the statement I can't quite seem to forget. It baffled me. On the one hand; I never asked for marriage. On the other, that was besides the point. The point was that he promised commitment, honesty, loyalty, transparency and accountability. So naturally you can imagine my grievance (putting it mildly) when I received evidence that not only was he engaged to be married, the chica was heavily preggers. 

And when I expressed this grievance the response I got was "I never promised you marriage!"

He said this as though if he had promised, then I had a right to hold him to it, and I could seek retribution before God or the law. Yes, if that was the case he was right. And maybe that's why that Judge just ordered a young man to be remanded in prison for jilting his bae.


Ok, tbh that law doesn't apply here, this is obviously a criminal matter. What my ex unwittingly made reference to would be a civil suit. In law it's called breach of promise to marry. 

See, even the law understands that it's an actionable offense to promise marriage and break it. 

A promise to marry someone doesn't necessarily give rise to a contract. But just like contract, breach of promise to marry can give rise to a cause of action! This is built on the premise that where there is a wrong, there is a remedy, it's trite law. 

S.197 of the Evidence Act says No plaintiff in any action for breach of promise of marriage can recover a verdict, unless his or her testimony is corroborated by some other material evidence in support of such promise; and the fact that the defendant did not answer letters affirming that he had promised to marry the plaintiff is not such corroboration.

Corroboration in this section may be found in the defendant’s conduct towards the plaintiff such as making gifts to her or referring to her as his fiancé (Wilcox v. Godfrey) Also letters, which may be interpreted as admission.

Ok, lemme cut out the legal jargons. The Evidence Act recognizes that breach of promise to marry is an actionable offense and can potentially entitle the plaintiff (the aggrieved/the dumped/the jilted/the heartbroken) to damages (compensation; often a sum of money or as the court pleases). Sha provided that you have evidence that he promised to marry you, to corroborate your claim. The Act doesn't state what amounts to evidence but thankfully case law does. Hehe. So your conduct alone can actually imply that you're promising someone marriage. Also referring to the person as your fiancé, "Iyawo mi", "my wife" also implies promise to marry. All you Naija boys are you hearing???

Well, doesn't that then mean that I can take my ex to court? Wait what? Yippee, im'ma be smiling to the bank in a few. I'm gna buy a Lamborghini before Christmas! Yayyyyyyy!!! #LOL #SMH #RME  


But really, ladies (assuming the nigerian judicial system wasn't so frigging frustrating) would you take a man to court for promising to marry you and then dumping you? Or would you rather leave it in the "divine court" since God has said vengeance is His, trusting Him to avenge you? Let's talk. 

Men, be honest with me, if ladies actually did sue, how many ladies would have taken you to court for breach of promise to marry? (Remember you don't have to have actually proposed, your words and conducts could imply that promise)

Comments

  1. This should be interesting. I just learnt something today, you can actually sue? Yekpaaaa.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "...All you Naija boys are you hearing???...". Yes aunty, we haf hia ooo!

    From what has been laid down so far(body language, lip service, sworn loyalty) if ladies actually sued, I would've been served like...maybe 3 suits.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 3... Hmm brother Memphis you're a good man. Lol

      Delete
    2. See problem, if you don't act that way they'll say you're not responsible and you won't make a good husband. If you act that way and then you don't propose they'll sue you. So which one is the lesser of both evils?
      I might be sued once, and that's a very huge "might".

      Is the man allowed to sue? And under what grounds abeg because I might have a serious case against somebody.

      Delete
    3. Uyi are you sure? I refuse to believe that.

      Delete
    4. Nna Steele no be minor wahala. Act nice, sue. Act rigid, sue. Lmao.

      Delete
    5. Oga Steele leave me alone oh!!! I wonder why you would refuse to believe. Same issue I'm having with the opposite sex too. I have people looking at me like I'm some 'Player'. Lol

      Delete
  3. Nobody would sue me. I always state the terms of the relationship. And they accept my terms. Infact I should sue the women for trying to change to terms of agreement.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahahaha. Trying to change the terms of the agreement. I have a lot of respect for men like you, most take the easy way out and tell lies. If only most men knew that some women would still play ball even after hearing the bitter truth... It's bitter but at least we don't start having dreams and fantasies. But errm, that's not to say a few of us won't try to change the terms. Sorry...

      Delete
  4. "But really, ladies (assuming the nigerian judicial system wasn't so frigging frustrating) would you take a man to court for promising to marry you and then dumping you?"

    I will most definitely sue! Not necessarily for the money(although that will be an added bonus :) ), but to teach them and others like them a lesson. When 5 guys pay huge sums or donate a couple of their years to the Nigerian prison system, the rest will learn to talk what they actually mean or take a walk. No time for iranu.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Lol, I'd just not worry my head about suing the nigga, cos he will sign paper on my own terms. LOL-

    A lot of ladies don't know this, lawyers would be balling if the system was okay.

    ReplyDelete
  6. This is a new one! Lols
    We need to create awareness on this!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Woudda sued my ex who made me believe he would marry me, went all d way to see my pastor concerning me (we attend same church) all for him to break up with me three months after he travelled out of d country. May God almighty judge you oooo @ ex where ever you at right now. U threw me back into the dating world. U making me confuse right now KOs I do not know how to handle a simple date any longer. Thelma sorry about my rant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lols,Ndo...
      Hire Thelma,as you now know,the law is clearly on ur side (and so are we...lols)

      Delete
  8. Interesting news....we just need it to start trending,then our prayers would be answered. Who knows I might finally buy that house I have been dreaming about sooner,with the cash settlement....lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wait oh what if after all the promises, its the lady that did the jilting, can the guy sue?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thelma oya o. Answer asap. :D

      Delete
    2. Yes oh... I'm a victim of this! And Thelma I hope this doesn't happen in the future cos if it does, you are so representing me.

      Delete
  10. Yes an action for breach of promise to marry may be taken by a man as well as a woman. In modern times there have been instances of successful actions by men.
    Also Promises to marry made by minors are voidable( can be dismissed) at the option of the minor. A minor may sue on such a promise but may not be sued, even if he or she has ratified the promise after coming of age. On reaching majority a new and independent promise to marry the other person will be binding. This distinction has been thought to be difficult to apply in actual cases and has been, variously described as “perplexing” and “somewhat subtle”, leading to “some extreme refinements”. Thank you all..
    Kindly follow @isibams

    ReplyDelete

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