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"Madam Sorry, I Need Oga's Permission First".





They say #FirstYearsofMarriage should be most 

blissful but what is all this??? #Read#Comment #Enjoy.

I was with my husband for about a year before we married. We have been married for about a month and the other day I sent the "errand boy" to the supermarket and boy was I surprised by his response. He said "Oga" doesn't like him going too far and his "Oga" would have to give permission for him to go that far. Wait, what??? In the year of dating my husband I never had to interact with him so I wasn't aware if his behaviour. His general disposition was disrespectful. I happened to be on the phone with a friend who heard the dialogue. I was going to send him packing when she cautioned me and said I should leave him to his "master" and I shouldn't handle domestic issues without my husbands permission. "He may not be ready to fire him" I don't get this! Is it out of my place to dismiss domestic staff in my house without my hubby's "permission". #Relationships #PowerStruggle #Couples



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Today's chickchat with @conniegirlswag. Guys, what do you think about this? When I read this I thought it's only normal for married couples to discuss and agree before they take decisions (in theory). But is it always mandatory, and if it isn't, what kind of decisions can a person take without first consulting with the other half?

Also, what's your take on domestic staff according respect to the man of the house alone, while sometimes treating the female with disregard in oga's absence? I've come to notice male domestic staff are sometimes condescending with madam, especially if it's oga that pays his salary...

Comments

  1. signing in after my week long absence due to a convention I had to attend. I missed everybody

    ReplyDelete
  2. I would wait for that oga to come back home then we table the matter...If oga is not in support of what he has done,I swear down nobody would teach him before he packs his bags....God help him,food comes from me......Hian...My oga indeed.... TNHW

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. GOD bless you for this comment. All that "it's the husband duty to handover" is so Amalgamation era mentality. Let my wife *make the mistake* of telling me what went down in my absence...hmmmmmm...

      Delete
    2. Lols, yimu to u Memphis! Amalgamation ko,dichotomy ni...
      If u like don't "handover" to madam: Happy wife, happy life..

      Delete
  3. Such disrespect shouldn't be condoned at all.Once your domestic staff (maid,gate-man,driver,chef,nanny)start to grow wings, it's best to cut it off on time before they fly outta hand.

    ReplyDelete
  4. It's the man's duty to hand over to his wife. Yh the boy was there before their marriage but now there's a new sheriff in town and it wld be in all their best interests to let madam run things.
    My motto? Happy wife,happy life...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Domestic helps (regardless of sex) who has been in the house before the coming of the madam usually behave this way. They naturally see madam's entrance as intrusive and as robbing them off of any power/hold they have on their master/in the house. It is the responsibility of the 'oga' to drum some sense into the help's skull by transferring the control botton to madam.

    In the case above, madam should simply relate the encounter to oga and wait for his reaction. A wise man would scold the help in madam's presence, warn him to accord his wife same regard as he does him and henceforth ensures the help's salary is paid through madam.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I can relate with this comment more...

      I feel he was only acting this way cos he was entirely under the oga 's command. Now that you are here, he may (innocently) not understand the powers you have as a wife in the house.

      I do not feel he was being rude, I just feel she got embarrassed because she was on the phone with someone who overheard the conversation.

      First encounter with "errand boy"(see the way she called him errand boy out of insolence) and she wants to sack him out of pride.
      If this was a recurrent event, then sacking should be considered.

      Delete
  6. There's a disconnect somewhere... it should never get to this. There are some things the husband failed to do. Like hand over all authority to his wife, if he did no Jupiter will make the errand boy respond in that manner.

    Another thing I'm curious about is how the man treats his wife in the presence of the help. Does he treat her like the madam she is, with maximum respect or does he treat her like she's the head house maid. Who knows? The wife probably sent the errand boy out once and the husband came home and raked the boy for going too far, and when the boy said "na madam send me o", then the husband replied "na she dey pay your salary?"

    The root of this problem lies with the husband... Even if the wife tries to fire the boy he'll just hang around till the husband gets home then he'll tell his own side of the story.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The husband should reset the buttons in the domestic servants head.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Simple. Without that reset... Whatever "errand boy" does, u can't really blame him DAT much

      Delete
  8. Her friend is very right. She should wait for the husband to get back so he can report the matter to him and not fire him jut like that out of anger. Firing him might not go down well with her husband.


    If it is wrong to dismiss domestic help without her husband's permission? In this case the help has been there before the marriage took place I would advice she take up with the husband but if the help was hired by her then she can do whatever she decides. Although I still believe she should discuss with the husband.

    ReplyDelete
  9. If a domestic disrespect the madam of the house then it means the oga of the house didn't do his homework well, he should have laid down certain rules and make the domestic staffs understand that things have changed, and God help that domestic help if my husband actually hears of his disobedience towards me and supports me, Kaii the guy would shine and rust from hunger.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Domestic staff and their wahala..

    ReplyDelete
  11. I was in a marriage class and during the session, the facilitator told us her own experience with one of their drivers. The man is very arrogant according to her but her husband has refused to sack him and she has to accept it! lolzz..her daughter said when the driver takes her to school that the driver usually acts like her father! some cases you accept becos Oga says so as long as you are not disrespected as the Madam...don't just sack the guy, speak to Oga and if need be sack him/her together or re-set their settings...#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete

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