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The Truth Is That Married Men Treat Us Better. - Anonymous.

Thelma people make side chics look bad but nobody really plans to be a side chic. Unfortunately when all the men are married and the single ones expect you to kiss the ground they work on because they pitied you enough to date you then you cannot blame more and more women for dating married men. For instance I met one guy last week. I live in the Ajah axis and he live in Ojo, that is after Festac. He's been calling me and telling me how much he likes me, then he asked me for a date but said I will have to come to Ojo. I said that I cannot come and he started to complain, that am I saying I cannot come to Ojo or what? I said that is not what I'm sayin, I'm sayin it's wrong, he's the one asking me out so he should be the one to come. He bluntly refused sayin that he cannot come all the way from there to see me, I stopped hearing from him after that. He is just one among many examples. Single men now think it's a waste of time to woo girls because there are many girls while they are a scarce commodity. But a married man will come from abuja to lagos to see you, call you regularly, check up on you and show genuine concern. I don't even want to talk about the financial benefit because that is not the point of this mail. How many single men will agree to date a girl without sex? The last guy I dated dated me without sex for seven months before I agreed to do it, and it was my decision because he had been too good to me and my family and not because he pressured on me. I broke up with him because I feel bad but he still insists on taking care on me, and it hes been four months since I broke up with him. Single men these days behave like gods gift to women and cheat on you with anything, even when you cook, clean and give him the sex of his life. People call girls name when they are dating a married man but the truth is that married men treat us better.

Poster asked me to post anonymously. Thoughts anyone?

It's been a while since I received reader submissions. Please I'm looking forward to more. And, the topics are unlimited, I'm particularly looking to read posts on your careers and businesses so far. Thank you in advance! 


  1. I feel really sorry for you.

    1. The poster isn't asking you for sympathy. People make me laugh, look at men in the bible that God loved and blessed, Solomon who he made the wealthiest King but had thousands of wives and concubines, yet God blessed him oh. David nko? So what are you people talking about? Are you holier than God? And please don't tell me any New Testament-Old Testament story. After all all your pastors still quote the Old Testament and you all the still read and pray with it. So don't come telling me stories. Goodbye.

  2. I will nevrr justify being a mistress but I feel you on single men in nigeria, they are so full of themselves. So full of shit.

  3. Hmmmmm.... Have you ever asked yourself why married men treat you better? There are many reasons and I can't go into all of them.... Don't forget that they were once single men too, it took a real woman with vision and perseverance to mold them into the men that you so easily fall in love with today. You should be grateful to their wives. The way I see it, girls that date married men are lazy and aren't willing to put in the work needed to mold their own boy into a man, they like the finished products but you forget that another woman refined that boy and taught him to man up and you just come from nowhere and enjoy the fruits of another woman's labor. Hint: that woman is not his mom!

    Another thing you should know is that every man has a king, a kid and a fool inside him. Sometimes the kid and the fool come out to play and that's when he starts craving things he used to enjoy as a single man, that's when he seeks your services. But don't forget, you never get to play with the king, that privilege reserved for his queen.

    Now there's always the exception, some men are just tired of being in a marriage and constantly seek the release the single girl provides, period.

    1. Steele....this comment just reminded me why, and how much I love u.. Will u marry me??

    2. Steele has said everything. Ladies are just tpo lazy and some of them are still babies themselves so they can't hold baby boy up.

      I do think the poster has a point on the single guys ish tho. I dont underatand where the got that mentality from. God's gift to women...smh

    3. As in ehhh! Steele can comment for Africa.

    4. Yo Steele, you just baked a hot bread, buttered it and served it with fried egg and Dódò...

      Well served comment

    5. Why not? If not? As long as Thelma agrees to marry us, Lol

    6. Steele I have nothing to add. Thank you.

    7. One of the reasons why I missed you. Try not to run away again. You nailed it!

    8. The comment that buries the others.

    9. Spot on

    10. Steele, where do I send your kisses to?

  4. I hope when you get married your husband WILL extend the same 'favour' you have been receiving to single women outside. Amen!

    1. That's a hard prayer o

    2. Whoops......nice prayer Tolulope


    3. Oh please. Virgins get married and get cheated on. In fact they're cheated on more than the bad girls. So stop deceiving yourselves. I Work in the medical sector and do you know how many women contact HIV from their husbands? Women who got married as virgins, so forget all these ones you're talking.

  5. These single guys that feel like God's gift to women.

    God is watching you in 5-D

  6. I totally agree with the poster about the treatment some young guys of this generation melt out on we ladies and I also agree that married men treat women better due to the experience they have had when they were young chaps, but I would be sitting on the fence here, I wouldn't say I support women dating married men or I don't, all I would say is do what you feel is right and wouldn't hurt anyone, as long as your conscience isn't fighting you.

  7. I totally agree. Married men are wayyyyyyyyyyy better when it comes to loving and caring and all that.

  8. Dear poster,I agree with you on how single guys now act like some sort of god but there's nothing justifiable about having a relationship with another woman's husband except in cases where you didn't initially know he was married.The problem with girls of our generation is pure laziness and greed.Nobody wants to work hard anymore.
    You don't have the right to keep a man away from his wife or family for days or even weeks.The excuses you've given above are just plain stupid.I hope you won't complain when your husband starts treating his side chicks exactly the way the married man or men in your life are treating you right now.

  9. How come I didn't experience this 'single men acting like a king' thing? The only one that was about to act as such, I showed him the door. I always had options though I never double-dated.

    I agree totally with Steele by the way.


    1. Me I don't even know where they meet these "single guys" that treat ladies anyhow... Tooor!

      Men(women too) have always given excuses for their bad behavior from time immemorial... backing it up with the scripture. iv heard someone say "God wants our happiness, and if having sex with you makes me happy, God would not have a problem with it" just to get a girl to sleep with him. a Sunday school teacher that people look up to. So whatever you say does not even surprise me anymore. I didn't want to talk to much, that's why I just said what I genuinely feel. Sorry for you!
      You're quoting the old testament... fine! it's alright to sleep with married men... you even mentioned Solomon! hahahahahaa!
      okay oooo! Like it's okay to be the 209th concubine... heheheee! And you think God was pleased with that? continue ooo!
      And maybel, it's not about doing what you think is right, it's about doing what is right. That's why we have laws guiding us.

      Anyway.. dear poster. Do you oooo! Whatever makes you happy okwaya? Continue... I hope when you finally settle down and your husband impregnates 2 or 3 single girls because single guys don't treat them right... you will not send a long chronicle to Thelma or SDK's blog. you'll be just fine and willing to share. I wish you well.

  10. A little popular bv.10:34 pm, August 24, 2015

    I'm almost late. Presently, I'm a side chick and o boy....I enjoy it. I'm a godess in whatever relationship it is. I'm sorry he's just been married for four months, big instagram military wedding and all that shii but then, this nigga isn't enjoying his marriage and is even making divorce plans. I'm not going in though but its cool that we are happy together for now.(I've been through almost a lot), we laugh, gist, support whatever anyone is doing, are the number 1 fans to each other and do all them lovey dovey. Doesn't say being that is good. As much as I enjoy us, I feel that guilty too and I know I need to put a stop to it. Whatever it is, single guys need to up their games.

    1. Same thing with me. This man treats me like a god not even a goddess. I know he loves his wife very much and he treats her very well too. I understand that he put her and the kids first and I even respect him for it. But he still treats me better than any single guy ever did. Better loving, better emotional support, better sex, better money, better vacations, better relationship. Everything is just better. Don't worry I know it will not last forever but I am enjoying it while it lasts. By the way it's been over a year and he is still as wonderful as he was when we started dating. Can you say the same for single men? Biko let me enjoy my life now. Because the truth is whether I do or whether I dont, I will still get married and get treated however my husband wants to treat me.

    2. As a storyteller, I really and honestly love where the script of our anon. Here is heading for. And trust me, its not end in a happily ever after. Well, I guess happily Never after has got so boring talking about it. No one is scared of it no more. #yolo right? Lol

  11. I agree with the poster. My own story is this i met a guy and after several dates and small snooping i discovered he was so married and i showed him the door this guy begged for us just to be friends with no benefits attached. I said baba God has sent me a helper noni(lol). He takes care of me, provides all my needs etc. I just look at him sometimes and wonder what he is looking for outside. ( beautiful wife and 2 lovely kids)

  12. Another angle from Steel's comment:
    Why must the women be the ones to mold the men? Its always; women work, mold, bear, manage and then you will enjoy your man. And I ask, WHAT WAS THE ROLE OF HIS MOTHER WHEN HE WAS YOUNGER?
    I'm not saying don't build with your man o! But being burdened with the job of molding and shaping of another grown adult is not why Jesus died biko.
    When it comes to marriage, its the women that get the most advise on keeping, managing, bearing and what not of the home. Who is talking to the men eh?
    A balance has to be found fast, that way, the "I'm a gift to women disease" will reduce or be extinct.

    I know this is all over the place, but I hope I made a lick of sense.

    1. Dear Queen, please blame that on bad parenting. Parenting involves teaching values to build character too but some parents focus on food, clothing and education.

    2. Queen Spicey... yeah you actually made a lick of sense but I think you're missing the point. There's no man that becomes a good husband and father by magic. The parents can only do so much in the way of mentoring but the real transformation is brought on by the wife. The fact that you see it as a burden and a job is where the problem is because it really isn't. Women are naturally more mature and enduring than men, that's why they were given the responsibility of carrying and giving birth not men but I digress...

      The point I was trying to make in my comment was that the married men didn't learn those skills you love so much from their mothers, they learned how to treat you from being husbands and they learned how to nurture you by being fathers. The maturity they attained was because a good woman helped them make the transition. It wasn't their mother, they learned it on the job, from experience. And they had a willing partner who didn't see it as a burden. I lived with my ex for about 7 months and guess what... nothing my parents taught me prepared me for what I experienced and it was beautiful. Now I'm better equipped to handle other women's moods, cycles and idiosyncrasies because of what I learned from her and I'm so grateful to her for that.

      In fact, what on earth gives a girl who does not derive joy in building her man up the right to steal that joy from the woman who does and who did?

    3. I don't think it's so much the wife molding her man like some task or chore. I think it's more that they've crossed the rubicon of the first years living together. By virtue of that the man learns to put another's needs above his own. That's what the side chick sees as him being caring. But then again I blame the men who step out. The side chick owes me nothing. No point trying to guilt or 'karma-lize' her. My husband owes me his loyalty.

    4. Chai! Steele! Steele!! Steele!!!

    5. Steele o! Bia, where did you go all this while. This rejoinder is the truth!


  13. Posts like these usually distress me that's why I hardly comment on them. I always tell who ever cares to listen: it's bad enough that we're degenerate sinners but why on GOD's green earth do we compound our flaws by justifying our evil ways? WHY?? How can someone with a (claimed) conscience give this kind of horrendous excuse for dating married men? And people are even quoting scriptures to support this evil. Una no de fear??

    Well there's nothing much to say here that hasn't been said since 3000 BC so I won't waste energy. Just a small piece of advice to side chicks and their voltrons who twist THE WORD to support this evil: Adultery/fornication is a deadly evil, Old and New Testament, so continue at your own peril. Stay blessed.

    1. My crush is back!!!!!!


    2. Err... that was me by the way... sunshine... noh vex. na anonymous I think say I press! Lool!

  14. As much as it isn't justifiable to date married men... It's really easy to fall a prey and it takes d grace of God and a very strong will to end a relationship wit a married man! U beta believe cos dis is 4rm personal experiences.... they make u so dependent on dem(emotionally,financially) I didn't even like dis guy at all. but his thoughtfulness and kindness kept knocking out d barriers little by little. He took care and note of d tiniest detail abt me! Kai! He forced money on me... even wen I say I dnt need any.... b4 I I knew wat was happening I became so dependent! thank God dere was distance..... I culdav fallen deeper! I just zeroed ma mind one day and said NO! Twas a hard decision... even frnds yabbed me say I be mugu... Shebi u no see am.... dey collect naaa! it took d grace of God to get me outta dat situation and I neva went back. Although twas purely emotional/monetary.... I still feel guilty abt dat tym.... Oh boi! E no easy abeg!as I said.... Na only d grace of God fit commot person 4rm dat situation.

    1. Thank you for sharing and for letting us know that though it is hard but it is not impossible! *hugs*

  15. Once a mistress, now a wife... I totally understand the lure of dating a married man...I never thought I would do it but - never say never.

    It was pure undiluted lust at first sight, instant chemistry that blossomed into the most intense physical yet fulfilling relationship we both ever had.

    We were both far from home and lonely, well so we told ourselves, but truly it was pleasure after pleasure, we moved in together. He worshiped the ground I walked on which was expected cause am addictive like that. We where inseparable. He was willing to tell his family about us but... But I couldn't get myself to be wife number 2 so I sabotaged the relationship, broke his heart and mine then walked away. Now married to my home boy from way back.

    I remember how his friends used to try to talk sense into him - that he was falling too deep for me meanwhile they all had several side dishes. Men tho, I know they envied him but truth is I didn't want it to end but I didn't want to be his wife either. So it had to end. I must admit, it was immense fun while it lasted, I don't regret it.

    Was it right-NO, was it selfish - Hell Yeah. Did I love it - Yes. Would I advise anyone to do it - Not at all.

    I would however advise people to marry what genuinely makes them happy - you like a psychotic bitches - marry one so you don't go around falling for every psychotic bitch you see.


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