I Received a huge, rude shock over the weekend. It was a moment of reawakening; reminiscent of wailers wailing that one's time has passed. I mean, what else comes to a girl's mind when she sees the youngens whom she dropped off at primary school and helped with social studies homework, and then get a sudden urge to grab a mirror and reapply her lipstick, to reassure herself that she's still got it? Like, over the weekend I saw my friend's younger cousins and my eyes bulged in shock. These are yesterday's babies!
Apparently I wasn't the only one who noticed. In fact, the next day my friend's husband's friend who's in his late 30s actually came back to the house to enquire about one of the youngens. Aghast, my friend says "She's just 14 ohhhhhh!". Bros wasn't perturbed, he said he loved what he saw and he was willing to wait a couple of years if it's a problem. #yerimatinz
Actually she's 15 and her elder sister is 17. 15 and 17 going on 30! What's with these kids of today? Is there something in the air or the food they eat that makes them look so grown and worldly?
Now that morning, the 15 year old, let's call her Tosan, was getting dressed after a shower when she showed us the body cream she was just about to start using. Apparently Dove and Jergens are for babies and it's time to use the adult stuff. I shrieked "What? You should be spanked!" when I sighted the papaya extra whitening cream. Not just whitening, EXTRA whitening! Turns out her classmates are using it but she wasn't quite sure, that's why she came to her cousin, my friend, for approval (bless her heart). We, my friend and another friend (all QCOGs #irrelevant #iknow #idontcare) immediately began to scream like the house was on fire. Suffice it to say that when we were done with our individual and collective tirades, Tosan flung the bottle aside like it had just bared nasty fangs and quickly grabbed her Dove. (BTW when did 15 year olds start caring about beauty regimens, skin tones and complexion? At 15 I didn't even know if I was fair or dark!)
A few minutes later she served us breakfast, beautiful child Tosan (she would probably detest me for calling her a child. LOL). That was when *Laura, my igbo sister, asked, "will you marry my brother?". Tosan chuckled shyly and pretended not to hear. She later disclosed that she'd rather marry a yoruba guy because they're richer and classier. First off we tried to set her straight, like what's the basis for that conclusion? who told you that? Igbo men are the shii! LOL. Then Laura asks what Uni she hoped to go to and I think she mentioned one in the south east. That was when another lecture began.
The conversation that followed; you want to marry a yoruba man and you want to school in the east. You better apply to Unilag, you're more likely to meet a husband there than in the east. And start praying about it too, ok? It's never too soon to start praying about your husband and marriage (Tosan was even more baffled). Nobody is saying you have to marry now but there's nothing wrong with marrying early, in fact, it is best so that you can meet your husband and have your kids early. Start praying about the kind of husband you want, God will listen...
I couldn't believe the words we were saying to a 15 year old! When did we become these women? And how? We didn't ask her if she was in Arts or Sciences. We didn't ask what she wanted to study. We didn't ask how her grades are looking. No, we jumped right to "pray for a good husband".
Now this makes me wonder, the pressure we complained about from our mothers and aunties, I thought we would know better. Ok, tbh marriage isn't one of the first 5 things I would discuss with a teenager, and I don't think my friends (whom are both married) are marriage-crazed either. So this made me wonder if hidden far beneath these cloaks of modernization, feminism and ambition, are words carved in indelible ink, that first we're wives and mothers, before all else?
When did we turn into our annoying aunties?
Thankfully we soon recovered and began to talk about her academics and tried to impart on her what's really important for a girl her age, (bleaching is not). And somewhere during that talk was the "keep your legs tightly shut" talk. LOL. It was all in good fun.
But guys, seriously we need to talk about how fast the younger ones are growing. Is it a good thing or a bad thing? How can we help them maintain their innocence, naïveté and childlikeness in this era of social media and lapsed discipline?
On a lighter note ladies, how old were you when you had your first "when are you bringing home somebody?" talk from your parents?