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What To Do With a Mother That Just Won't Butt Out?

It's no news that some mothers can be a pain and some mothers in law do take the piss. Although it's not excusable, it kind of seems understandable when it's the husband's mother giving a woman grief. But when it's the wife's own mum, you can't help but wonder. I read this piece sent in to Bella Naija and the last few paragraphs particularly boggle the mind; why a mother would try to "cock-block" her wife's son is rather preposterous. How does one cope such such a mother? Do read and share your thoughts. 

I have been married for 3 years now to a wonderful man. We have been blessed with a baby who is almost a year old now.
After the birth of our baby, my Mum agreed to retire voluntarily to take care of our baby when it was time for me to resume work. She’s been doing this job of taking care of our baby with so much love.
However, there is a problem. My Mum is trying to control my marriage. She has an opinion on every single issue and she’s not shy to express it. She confronts my husband concerning issues which should be handled by me. My husband has complained about that, and I try to explain to my Mum that, she should not address my Hubby personally but to rather do so through me. She often gets offended and complains that my Hubby is like her Son, and that I am trying to tame her. I try to make her understand that he is the Head of my family and should be treated so. She sometimes makes statement s that are very disrespectful about my Hubby. Once during an argument with her, I got so upset that I told her that she was trying to destroy my marriage and that she should learn to stick to the reason why she is living with us. She was so hurt by my outburst and frankly I felt really bad as well. I apologized afterwards and she did same and promised to do better.
The situation has improved a bit and we don’t argue so much now. However, yesternight, hubby and I decided to get a bit intimate and my Mum acted in a way which was as if she was trying to prevent that. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment, she has one bedroom to herself while Hubby, myself and baby share the other. As baby was asleep yesternight, we had no choice but to do our stuff in the parlour. This was around 10:30 pm. Just when things were getting steamy, she called me. We had to pause for me to go find out what she wanted, she obviously didn’t have any reason for calling me as she asked a very trivial question. After answering her and going back to continue, she stepped out of her room and went to the washroom which is quite close to the parlour.
Later after the Mister and I were done, I quietly stepped into her room to pick something. It was almost midnight by then and I thought she was asleep by then. She wasn’t. She proceeded to ask if I was exercising, when I asked why she was asking such a question, she went ahead to say she thought I was skipping rope… I was shocked and it definitely won the most awkward moment ever.
I ended up informing hubby about my Mum’s questions as he noticed I was in a strange mood when I got back.
Hubby is really upset now and I can only imagine what might be going on in his head.
I feel so bad that he has to put up with my Mum’s attitude. Though I’ve had a few brushes with his family, he tries to prevent any of them from giving me stress. Whereas I seem to be unable to call my Mum to order.
My Mum is generally a good person and I love her so much but sometimes, I wish I could love her from afar.
She is going to be around for another year, till baby is old enough to start school. I really need to know how to handle her and still keep my nuclear family happy.


  1. Why is she complaining? She asked or permitted her mother to give up her life to come and cater to hers, now she is getting upset 3 years later the woman is all up in her business?

    She needs to find a way to set up a business or create activity for her mother and move her out of her house gradually.

    My husband and I speak about this a lot...there is no spare bed in my house..sorry no house guests ..if we need you to come visit us that badly we will source for hotel money...folks need to learn to make the sacrifice of hiring professional help amd stop being cheap by asking their family member to look after their kids and then getting offended when you have removed your mother from her rightful place as extended family to become a member of the nuclear family.

    She better not go reading her mother the riot act, instead ease her out slowly and with patience. She also needs to stop telling her husband and mother who said what.
    Marriage is between 2 people and God, do not introduce too many parties into your home. If you can't afford to get professional help for your kids- buy birth control....its much cheaper.

  2. Exactly, "She also needs to stop telling her husband and mother who said what"

  3. @ Pynk, and I was planning to camp at your house o, so no spare bed (LoooooL).

    She asked for trouble, and she has to deal with the issue with caution. Some mothers can be a pain, very serious one.

    From the write up, she still plans to keep her mum for another year or two. I strongly suggest she and her hubby make other plans ASAP.

    My mum will not even agree to stay more than 2 weeks for omugwo, even the 2 weeks she will go to her house like 3 times. She says she. Doesn't want "see finish"


  4. So I had no idea what to say to the poster and showed the post to an older matured woman and her opinion: "the mum is having an affair with the daughter's hubby... Else why will she stay awake from 10:30 till midnight and still have the effrontery to ask her daughter if she was skipping rope at dat hour if she wasnt jealous her daughter is sleeping with her 'boyfriend'... Where did the first baby come from??... From skipping rope??... Was that how the mum got her own children... Da baby should even be with the mum since thats her reason for being in the house in the first place and she shouldnt butt into their affairs or even confront the hubby for any reason"
    No be me talk am ooo... Im only the messenger... *runs away

    1. Lmaoooo! This conclusion is ehn!!!! Hahahaaa!

  5. Looooool @Were you exercising? Loooool!!! That woman has no chill.


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