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Showing posts from September, 2015

What We Wouldn't Do To Keep Our Men!

Sometime in my mid twenties someone made me an indecent proposal. Back then I'd thought I was pretty experienced, or exposed, still it hadn't prepared me for what I was about to hear. Being a giving or generous person means you often get asked for favours (and at a time when I didn't really have any financial intelligence I gave gave gave, as the requests seemed never to stop!). Yet this favour was of a different nature. In fact if I obliged, I would be receiving this time, not giving, and receiving quite a lot!
The favour?
Oh well, after spending a lot of time thinking and praying about it, she decided it was something she would have to do to keep her husband happy. He wanted a threesome, she would give him a threesome. And for reasons beyond my own comprehension (I'd like to think it's because I'm known to be a very loyal and discreet friend. I hope that's it oh! LOL), she thought I might be a good candidate for this task. 
You know, when I think back to tha…

Advanced Warning. To Abort or Not?

They say children are a gift from God but it doesn't always seem that way. I used to know parents of a special needs child and I got just a tiny glimpse of how severely challenging and demoralizing it could be. First there's the psychological trauma, and then there's the never ending financial burden, there's sleepless nights and tear-filled nights of frustration and regrets. There are the schools turning the child away and society not being so kind to her. These burdens sometimes take a toll on the couple's relationship and chip away their affection and attraction for each other. Lovemaking becomes a distant memory and conversations are flat words snapped at each other. 
I caught just a glimpse and I would occasionally wonder; do they sometimes wish they'd foreseen this? Would they still have had the baby? I'm certain nobody dreams of having a child born with birth defects. I remember in Shameless how this seemingly loving couple who very desperately wanted…

#ChildNotBride? Emir of Kano & The 18yr Old...

I'm sure you've heard that the Emir of Kano, Sanusi Lamido Sanusi, just married the 18 years old Sa’adatu Barkindo-Musdafa, the daughter of the Lamido of Adamawa, Muhammadu Barkindo-Musdafa as his fourth wife.
This news has elicited mixed reactions. Some people are ranting child not bride!, others are chanting 18yrs is no child! Some among them are quick to point out that Omotola Jakade Ekeinde got married at 18, Kanu Nwankwor also married his wife, Amarachi at 18. 
But then that's not really the point. The child not bride hashtag is not appropriate in this situation, in my opinion... But we can't compare this to Omotola and Amara Nwankwo. 
The 18 year old is not a child, but is she psychologically prepared for marriage? And to a 54yr old? You know, I'm aware that Islam permits a man to marry four wives and all that but I'm just a bit surprised  that SLS with his pedigree and level of exposure would marry someone barely outside childhood. 
But maybe I'm just tr…

Dear Blog Reader @ The Palms; I'm So Sorry!

I'm not quite sure where to begin. I was about to write about the couple I met at The Palms on Saturday night; apologize to the guy and explain myself just when I saw this comment. Read below:

The Only Man I Cook For!

My heart was racing even before I woke up. He's coming today, my eyes flew open! He'd already informed me that he wanted to eat when he gets here, and living solitarily for now, I knew I probably didn't have anything edible at home so rushing to the market was the only option. Market runs done, I put my mittens on and got cooking. Last minute, it occured to me that this meal would go very well with some very succulent dodo. 
Once again I jumped into the car and sped to the closest roundabout to buy a bunch of plantain. I needed food to be ready and served when he got here. Lastly, I needed to check the drinks, check that they were chilled, he had hinted at juice but I threw in a few sodas, just in case. Oh there was also mention of chocolates and thankfully I have lots of those at home, he would have more than enough when he gets here. 
You see, I aim to please my men, I don't let it be said that there's something wanting, something more I could have done, something …

Single To Stupor! And Three Situations.

OMG. Just bring the one you have!!! Hahahahahahahahaha. Epic!
But seriously though, this is a lot of girls right now; just bring the one you have, man is man!
Well I've got three friends in different situations at the moment and I would like to hear your thoughts on the matters. 

Samantha whose been seeing Damola for almost two years now just learnt from one of his colleagues and close friend of hers, that during an office discussion he said he likes her but she's not the love of his life. Unfortunately he's the love of hers and after two years together she thought they were headed for the altar, in fact he's said stuff to allude to that. She's wondering if she should confront him and follow it up with the where are we really going? talk, or consider herself as single and searching as marrying someone who merely likes her isn't very appealing. Thoughts?

Nwamaka whose boo is getting really close to another lady because she can help him with jobs and contract…

The Things Love Does Not Conquer.

My name is Raymond; I am from South South, Bayelsa State to be precise. I am in my mid 30s, working with one of the branches of United Bank for Africa (UBA) in Aba, Abia State.I was involved in a ghastly auto crash a few years back on my way home from the east for christmas celebration. We were between life and death before God eventually sent a duex mechina to our rescue.The incident damaged my reproductive system. The doctor declared me impotent ever since then. I met a girl in 2008 who came from one of the private institutions in southeast for her 6 months internship. One thing led to another, we both fell in love with each other and that was how the journey started.During our first date, she told me she was a virgin and I promised her ‘no pre-marital sex.’Four years down the line, we are still on. The parents are aware of our relationship. In fact, I just declared my intention of walking her down the aisle in December, but the question is that how would she feel when she discovers…

Attitude Check!

LOL. This cracked me up, like, seriously. Yay me, my attitude on the street is apparently very good. Is yours? I enjoyed Sallah meat sha. I went to pay my parents a visit and there were bucket loads of Sallah meat from friends and neighbours (LOL. My parents' attitude on the street is very good too), and then when I got back home my Hausa boo already had mine waiting. Still later on at night I got to feast on more Sallah meat. And then much later another of my boos wanted to send me ram meat. Noticed I said "ram meat", not Sallah meat? Yeah, the uncooked one. Ain't nobody got time for that! LOL. I said, no thanks.
I'm sorry I wasn't here yesterday, you know there are just those days you're so spaced out that you forget the things that matter in your life. Like it was almost midnight yesterday when it occured to me that yekpa I have a blog! LOL. 
This is such a great method of checking my readers' attitudes. Which category do you fall into; (a) I have goo…

Is Expensive Effective?

Yesterday I went to the bank to bring down the roof, they've been very ineffectual of late and have been causing me to lose some monies. They couldn't even begin to verify what the problem was as their systems were down, as usual. 
I was in the middle of my rant when I heard some figures mentioned, you know, a number with six zeros, and then I heard the banker tell the person on the other side of the line that the transfer had been done, yes she's aware that it's for school fees, yes, Chrisland, yes. 
Oh wow!
Now I don't know how many kids the fees are for, it could have been two or three but still, millions? Just wow. 
Just some days ago I had a chat with my friend. His kids are in a pretty ordinary school somewhere in Lekki. His brother's four kids are all in Lekki British International. My friend spoke about his brother in a condescending manner, describing him as stupid for spending several millions on school fees for just a term alone. He said a smart kid is a…

Run, Little Girl RUN!!!

You're such a pretty young thing, your beauty is still untouched, untainted, saintly. You're green, still green, yet to embark on hurt's journey. Green, leafy green, not yet jaded, not yet faded. Run, while you're still ahead. 
He stands tall, his shoulders wide and broad, fanning his slender hips. He just got a shave; sharp and modern. His white native is very well tailored, he looks like a million bucks. He's got the right words, the right lines, always knows the right thing to say. And it doesn't matter if he's flawed when he says "I'm making you mine, I'm not here to play". I know he makes you weak in the knees but those legs need to be strong, you need them to run. Run, little girl run, while you're still ahead. 
He's something new and different, something exciting, something mysterious. There's just something so sexy about something that might be dangerous. But with this Prince Charming there can be no danger, your happines…

Happy Eid-El-Kabir to My Darling Muslim Readers

As you celebrate the Eid, I wish you immeasurable joy, peace, love and all that your hearts desire. Barka De Sallah!

*** Meanwhile I was planning to travel this morning but my trip just got cancelled and I made no plans for today or the rest of the weekend. Any one of you here in Lagos cooking ram at the moment? Please can I come? Pretty please? Pretty pretty please...

What Would You Do If...

This picture above, of fake cocacola being produced has gone viral. It really doesn't bother me much because I don't drink sodas, so all you cocacola addicts out here, y'all need to be careful. You can see how filthy the place is, just looking at it can give you hepatitis C!
Now here's what I want to ask and I'm hoping I get honest responses. What would you do if you just found out that this is the source of your partner's income?
I used to know someone who was engaged to a gentleman who deals in fake drugs. Initially she wasn't too sure what exactly it was he did, as his answer to that questions was always a vague "Business". We were however sure that whatever it was brought him a lot of money, with which she was spoilt silly. When she eventually found out she really didn't seem to mind much. It was quite surprising because she's a rather pious, kindhearted, daily mass-attending sister. But the fact that her boo was knowingly putting the li…

AA Bragging Rights. AS Problems.

I never thought the day would come when there'd be a caste system based on one's genotype. But after listening to someone rant about being dumped after a four year relationship and end the rant with "...and I'm even AA" I knew that day has finally arrived. You know, it was said like "I'm AA, I'm a prize! Why would you give that up?"
In the last few weeks I've found scores of comments online about this genotype issue and dating. This one below sounds similar to the rant above.  
"Broke up with my ex 6 months ago not because we don’t love each other or we didn’t get along but just cos his sisters believe am not too much of a career woman and won’t make a good wife even though it took him forever to meet someone like me that is AA for that matter".
Seriously, isn't this the most unreal thing you've read in a while; even though it took him forever to meet someone like me that is AA for that matter. Oma ga oooo!
Ok, but beyond this …

Give Me a Spouse Or I Die!

Thank God I'm Not A Woman, I Might Have Killed Someone By Now.

I want to make a general, sweeping statement. I know it will sound unfair and rude, and I’m sorry. I truly mean no insult. It is just me expressing my view on a long list of issues.
So, here we go…
Sometimes I am grateful to God I am not a woman.
I can’t have an education or it will make me lord it over my man, and tempt me to be the head of the home.
I can’t have a job because I will become proud and un-submissive.
I can’t have a job that pays more than my husband’s because it is an insult to his manhood and he will be emasculated. One day I will even use it to rubbish him outside.
I can’t be single at 25, and unmarried at 30, or without a single child at 35. It means I am cursed, have a spirit husband or have a bad character and no man wants to be with me.
Any achievement of mine is a waste and useless if I have no boyfriend or husband, and it will only make me more arrogant and unattractive to men.
Heaven forbid I own a car or a house for the same aforementioned reasons. The only place I c…

Thoughts On Duro Arts' Depiction Of Women?

Yesterday social media went somewhat agog over the works of artist with Twitter handle, Duro_Arts, which he recently shared. The paintings are of black women in rather 'scandalous' positions. From eating social media feeds off a dog dish, to giving oral pleasure to luxury car brands.
I'm not quite sure what the intent behind this art is but this is apparently how the artist views today's woman and the extent she would go to for gratification. 

Quite frankly the visuals are very insulting to womanhood but I honestly don't find them to be false or offensive. The artist would be terribly amiss and even completely ignorant/foolish/blind-deaf-dumb to suggest that these paintings are a depiction of all (black) women.
Ok, I know I'm supposed to be offended and scream blue murder, me being a black woman and all, but... It is what it is; I find these paintings rather apt. I hope he does similar paintings of black men as well, otherwise I have no option but to conclude that…

Just Can't Deal!

Last night my friend Jibola* calls me, all irate and impatient. He tells me that he and bae broke up about a month ago and she's returned the ring. But that's not why he was calling. 
About a year ago Jibola (who was once a boo, of sorts) approached me to incorporate two companies for him. He made a deposit and I began the process. After the names were approved I got him the forms and and gave him directions on how to fill them. He wanted to sign and hand them to me immediately but then I told him, "No, you can't be the only director in a limited liability company. Get at least one other person and apportion some of the shares to them, the amount is at your discretion". He asked me whom I suggest he get and I remember stating clearly that if he didn't have any partners in the business that could come on board as directors, he should add a family member, either his parent(s) or any of his siblings. He's got at least four siblings and they're all adults,…

Let Me Clear The Air.

I didn't want to do this but staying silent might be detrimental to me, so I think I really need to clear the air about certain things. 

It has come to my notice that some of you seem to think that I
I don't...
You think it's ok to...
I just wanted to get your attention and announce that yay, I did it, I got my exercise on! For the first time in 2015. Smh! I know. But still...
So I hope y'all had a great weekend. My weekend was FULL, beautiful and very productive. How was yours?
I'd also like to use this opportunity to appreciate some of my blog readers. 
I remember years ago when I was an SDK addict, I used to stalk some of her commenters, I particularly loved Wide-eyed, I also used to look out for this commenter called Memphis. At some point I stopped seeing comments from this Memphis and then suddenly one day he resurfaced. So filled with joy was I, that I commented saying "Yay, Memphis is back!"
I actually didn't expect him to notice, or…

A Woman's Place. His Big Ego. Hear Me Rant!

So early this morning I drove down for a breakfast date at this place called T Cottage in Victoria Island. My date, whom I was meant to go out with last night but cancelled on because I was in a zone, and because he was at one of those meetings that drag until after midnight, and I couldn't very well wine & dine by myself till he was done..
In any case, we rescheduled for this morning. So off I went, empty belly and all. We perused the menu, I ordered jumbo prawns, Caesar salad and an espresso, he ordered fish in barter and chips. The exorbitant amount led us into believing that it would translate to 'exorbitant' portions. False. The food was superbly cooked. The last jumbo prawns I had at Elkan Terrace, Port Harcourt, almost put me off sea food forever, this redeemed sea food for me. I digress. We ate with gusto but the more we ate, the emptier our bellies felt. My friend, a proper igbo man sniggered; "Nna, dis is not food biko. O nwe one ofe-Owerri I ate in Ajao …

The Parents...

Have you read the "embarassing" message a Mum left her son on facebook? This particular line touched me; "I'm your mommy! I gave birth to you. Well actually, I didn't quite give birth, I had to have a C-section to get you out - big scar and hurt like hell - but that's OK... I haven't heard from you in a while and thought maybe you forgot about me? Remember all the times I've been there for you in the last 18 years of your life? I'd appreciate a quick phone call every once in a while."
It's so easy to be oblivious to or ignorant of the love, sacrifices and pain (some of) our parents have happily endured for us. 
In fact it's only when you become an adult, old enough to be a parent that you begin to grasp just a bit of the magnitude. And when you do finally become a parent, then it's an Aha moment. It's then you finally fully grasp it. The magnitude of that love. 
And because some of us still just don't get it, it's easy f…

Aspire To Become!

• Are you passionate about success but uncertain about the future? • Are you confused about how to turn your dream into reality?  • Do you find it difficult to study and understand? Take the first step by participating in this life changing mentorship program.Topics to be discussed • The Right Attitude to Succeed in Life.​ • Resourcefulness and Selflessness. • A.S.P.I.R.E study skills. Guest Speakers: • Mr. Elvis Ukpaka -Youth Mobilzer and President of Vision Drivers Leadership Academy • Ms. Francisca Chiedu– Local Content Advisor, Wood Group PSN. • Mrs. Clare Henshaw- Program Director, JEOF Date: 22nd Sept; 2015​Time: 10am-12noon​Venue: Wahab Folawiyo Senior High School.Benefits:Scholarship Opportunity, Mentorship Session, Gift Awards, Life skills and knowledge for success, Tickets to Silverbird Cinema’s, Refreshment and lots more.

The Aspire To Become program is a mentorship program for Senior Secondary School students in a public school in Ikoyi. If you're interested in attending or b…

The Trouble With 30; Calling All The Men From My Past!

30 has been an interesting age so far, there's not been any other like this. There are things that I love love love about thirty. But this post is not about the things I love. It's about some of the things I do not love. Specifically the boy-girl things. Dating has suddenly become so hard, it's already difficult finding a decent single man to date, but it turns out the older you get the smaller the pool becomes. 
So last week my friend calls me and out of the blues starts prophesying doom telling me how I need to think back and imagine who from my past might pop up and propose to me. I tell her everyone I dated in the past is either married or not a 'viable' candidate. She begins to admonish me; I need to realize that at my age it's unlikely that I'm going to meet someone new and it's most likely that it's someone from the past I would settle down with. Of course we eliminate those already married, and I must begin to eliminate the factors in the oth…