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Advanced Warning. To Abort or Not?

They say children are a gift from God but it doesn't always seem that way. I used to know parents of a special needs child and I got just a tiny glimpse of how severely challenging and demoralizing it could be. First there's the psychological trauma, and then there's the never ending financial burden, there's sleepless nights and tear-filled nights of frustration and regrets. There are the schools turning the child away and society not being so kind to her. These burdens sometimes take a toll on the couple's relationship and chip away their affection and attraction for each other. Lovemaking becomes a distant memory and conversations are flat words snapped at each other. 

I caught just a glimpse and I would occasionally wonder; do they sometimes wish they'd foreseen this? Would they still have had the baby? I'm certain nobody dreams of having a child born with birth defects. I remember in Shameless how this seemingly loving couple who very desperately wanted to adopt a baby immediately varnished like smoke when the said baby was born with Down's Syndrome...

I've been staring at the pictures of a baby born with most of his brain and skull missing, apparently the couple were warned and even advised to have an abortion but they refused. I'm torn between admiring their love and courage for staunchly insisting on having their baby, and wondering if their decision was selfish; if the termination might have been a kinder option for the child... Or if they were perhaps too weak to admit that they did want it...

I know this is very sensitive but seeing as it does happen, and is more commonplace than one would like, I feel the urge to ask. Do you think detecting a birth defect in a foetus is a good ground for abortion?


  1. I don't wish this for any parent or child. But the fact is that until you birth this child/children, you will never know. Some of these kids have been known to survive /overcome some of these issues despite all odds.

    Their cases also provide mankind the opportunity to evolve and bring about game changing and break through discoveries to help other cases.

    Emotionally it is not easy, especially when you are poor.

    In their shoes, I'd probably take the easy way out. I pray no one has to go through this.

  2. The major reasons for abortion is to save face. So when a baby is formed in the womb, defects are detected and the option of abortion surfaces, do we abort because we don't want the child going through this world in anguish or we abort because we don't want to be anguished by the child's defects?

    1. @ Memphis, both reasons. So that the child will not be anguished and so that we ourselves will not be anguished. But ultimately the prayer is that we shouldn't be dealt such cards in life. Aborting is a serious issue and most often mothers already love their child before birth which explains why a no of mothers wouldn't want to abort.

    2. I don't believe in abortion but if the motives for aborting a child is purely based on medical reasons as per the child's survival on earth (and not to 'save face') I would support that.

      The anguish of seeing your own child suffer is unbearable and I wouldnt want that for myself or anyone else.

  3. I read that post too and the thought that occured to me when I read it was, why will you choose to condemn a child to that kind of suffering and pain for the rest of his/her life especially if you had a choice in the matter? But then, I thought to myself, whose prerogative is it to decide whether or not a child lives and how do they decide?, what informs such decisions?, what scale are these decisions weighed on?

    On one hand, I'm pro life but then, I can't imagine living a life completely and totally dependent on others, I will most definitely resent the people who chose to let me have that quality of life. I honestly do not know if aborting a deformed child is a sin or not. But then again, there's something inherently beautiful about that baby. The fact that he has defied the odds to live this long makes him all the more amazing. I dont know if his parents did him any good by keeping him alive but his story is a beautiful one to read.

  4. Yes it is! If I detect my baby has a defect, I'll surely abort the baby than going through trauma when the baby is born and also putting the child in a difficult situation.

    If I grew up with a defect and knowing that my parents knew about it but prefer to birth me with it, I'll hate them for life. As in, why birth me with a defect to suffer instead of aborting me?

    When I saw this news on LIB yesterday, I was like WTF!

  5. I don't know what I would do in such case o. This is a very tricky case, might take the easy way out.

  6. I work with these people, and I can tell you for a fact that life isn't easy for them. Imagine having to go through life totally dependent on others; someone has to bathe you, feed you, pick out your clothes...imagine being 46 and not knowing more than a few words, never being able to say what you want and all. I saw the picture of the child you spoke of above and while I admire the courage of his parents, I will never ever do that to myself or my child. In my opinion, that child will suffer no matter how sheltered and protected he may be. Nobody deserves that. But this is just my opinion...

  7. Don't do it. But That's me what do I know

  8. I don't even know how to begin to answer this.

    So I would sit on the fence.

    1. I join you to sit on the fence... I'm never comfortable with taking life, this is hard.

    2. Kene and quirky moi, please shift for me.#sitsOnfence. this place is tight o.#squeezesbumbum&face.

    3. Lmao@bloggit up, Abeg shiff jor, make I squeeze my bum bum sit with una,hope this fence strong o.J

    4. Is there still space on the fence? After I read the post my thought was "Ah. This is a sensitive question" Kind of question I cannot answer unless I am in the position. By Gods Grace i wont be in that position. Amen.


  9. I have a friend that owns a remedial institute that's into helping children with special needs...Tenderbrains Foundation.
    I cried my eyes out the first day i went visiting. OMG
    Different cases, helpless children....not a plesant experience at all.
    So i don't think its entirely wrong to decide to abort


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