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Blog Reader Asks...

My boyfriend recently lost his dad and his funeral is coming up next month. The preparations are going on now and I am in Lagos while he is in the east. I want to know if it's right to wear the same asoebi his family is wearing or if I should wear what his colleagues and friends are wearing? Since I am busy with law school I cannot be there now so he's asking which cloth should be sewn for me. Although we've been dating for over three years and our families know about it, we hope to get married soon but we are not engaged. Please what do you think is right? I don't want to be inappropriate. Thank you. Ps; he wants me to wear what he is wearing but I don't know how it will be perceived. 


  1. I still don't get why people wear different uniforms for a burial. What happened to wearing BLACK? Like everyone wearing black? Someone is dead and a family is in mourning and the issue right now is asoebi???? Can't deal...

    1. You have a valid point. However you need to view this from another perspective; some tag it "celebration of life". You can't be celebrating someone's life at a burial ceremony and wearing black (as some tend to view it), hence the asoebi.

      Dear Poster, you shouldn't be wearing the same asoebi as your boyfriend. You're not married to him so it's inappropriate. You shouldn't even do same with colleagues unless you're one of them. "Like Family" isn't the same as "Family". Your presence at the burial the ish. Stay blessed.

    2. As a Christian,the only life to celebrate is that of Jesus Christ cos he alone rose from the dead and is still alive till today.
      I don't wanna believe our forefathers buried their dead the way our generation buries it's dead.
      In summary,wear Black and keep it moving...

    3. Please that's not factual Na! Sasha. Wch one be 'as a christian'.

      I'm with Memphis Plz, its a celebration of life and not death.

      And we shouldn't try to be like 'our forefathers', they were not privileged to live in our time.

    4. Sashaaaa!!! Chai, hahahaha, your wahala is plenty

  2. There are two ways to this.

    You've gone past friends and colleagues so you can do the Family aso-ebi. Its a way of showing solidarity and support that you're part of them.

    In the same light, you are not engaged to him yet and you will get some people wondering and thinking....Who's she? The babe??? Ohh, she's so desperate to be the Mrs.

    Long and short, forget people and do what you want to do. For me, I will say do family asoebi.

  3. Family asoebi it is, at least it shows you are a part of them and it would not leave people wondering and asking who u are like Ruby said. Personally I don't like asoebi's during burials, I prefer the black thingy, I really don't know yy people like asoebi's except the person who died is really of age.

    1. Read Ruby' s comment again and comprehend. This time slowwwlllyyy.
      Ruby actually said wearing the family aso ebi will make her seem like a desperado and make ppl wonder who she is. Understood? Goodgirl!!

    2. Wear the one the friends are wearing bikonu, if he really wants u to wear the family asoebi he should REALLY INSIST on it. Your not even engaged!

    3. Anon, thanks guess read through in a hurry. E hugs.

  4. Let him pick one for you. It shouldnt be you making that decision. Esepcially given thr stage of the relationship. ..whichever he picks go along with.

    1. Pynk360 making sense since 1900

    2. Exactly! Let the guy make the choice.


  5. No Aso Ebi for me.J

  6. If you were my sister, I won't be comfortable with you wearing the same thing with their family because you are not one of them yet neither will I make a big deal out of it if you do wear it. I don't think those sort of things should really be an ish.

  7. Family asoebi please....we had my dad's 65th birthday last weekend and my brother's girlfriend brother wore the same asoebi we did and it was absolutely adorable! They have been dating for three years and both families are aware that it's hopefully leading to the big deal. U are family!

  8. I do not support wearing his asoebi but if you don't, you might be sending the wrong signal to him as per the future. Its a bit dicey, to wear or not to wear? Anyways just do what comes to mind... You alone can make d decision not us.

  9. Heheehe my next friend in bar finals. The tension is real....Sigh can't wait till it is overrrrr!!!!

  10. Wear black u r still a gf n not even yet engaged. Wearing asoebi screams desperation tbh u r not yet part of d family.

  11. Just tell your bf to choose which ever material.

  12. Let him choose whatever material he wants you to wear then on the day of the burial dont wear the asoebi ( Tell him your tailor disappointed you ). Truth be told you dont fall into any of the categories of people wearing the aso ebi because you are neither family ( until he marries you or engages you at the least), or a friend or a colleague. Dnt walk before you start crawling.

  13. Asking him to choose, what if he chooses family asoebi? Babes, wear what his friends and colleagues are wearing o jare. You are still his gurlfrnd not wifey. Make e no go do you like action film at the end of the day. All these dudes, pesin gaz dey follow dem with sense.

    1. If she wears family asoebi and he doesn't marry her at the end of the day, so what? Is it the end of the world? Y'all are making a big deal out of nothing, it's just cloth. Wear the family outfit since he asked you and stop making a mountain out of a molehill.


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