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Brother-In-Law Drama. To Spill or To Shhh?





"I wish men worried about our feelings half as much as we worry about theirs..." Stolen quote from "Mrs Hughes", Downton Abbey. #Read #Comment #Enjoy.


My brother-in-law lived in the states for a while and came home (Lagos) to spend a little time with his family. He is staying with my hubby and I (for a month) which seemed like a reasonable inconvenience. We had a small welcome party for him so I was hostess with the mostess for the night. It was a fun night with a generous consumption of alcohol by most guests. Lots of good jokes and great music. I don't drink much so I stepped into the kitchen to get water and another round of snacks for the crew and my brother in law followed shortly behind me. I opened the fridge and the next thing I felt was a firm slap on my ASS followed by this statement "damn woman, you get correct particulars" I was in shock but for some reason I couldn't scream. I was temporarily speechless and couldn't believe I had such delayed reaction! What manner of man is this??? After what seemed like a long minute! I grabbed his throat and told him if he ever tried that shit again I would mark his face. I went back to the party not wanting to make a scene or be dramatic but I was uncomfortable the whole night and couldn't believe I had another 3 weeks with this man in the house. I'm wondering how and if I should tell my husband. Should I stomach it for the next 3 weeks or tell my husband to send him packing now. Is that too dramatic? I'm also tempted to say nothing at all since I've put him in his place but is that risky? 

When dealing with inappropriate advances from an in-law, there is indeed an awkwardness to telling your partner the truth about a family member but at what expense? They may not want to believe you or you could be the cause of bad blood amongst siblings. #SpeakTheTruth #Relationships #Love #Wisdom #WhatSayethThee

Today's chickchat with @conniegirlswag
***

In such a situation as this, what course of action would you take? No woman wants to be the cause of bad blood between siblings, but then what's the price she would have to pay for her silence? Or should she just tell her husband what happened and damn the consequences, knowing that she did no wrong? 


Happy New Month guys! May your September be a month of blessings on blessings. Amen. 

Comments

  1. T u re just in d mood 4 hashtags huh.. HNM y'all

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  2. If I were to be in such a situation, I tell hubby if his brother tries such again but I think the woman already put him in his position, he won't try such again.

    Happy New Month people, welcome to ember month.

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  3. Best to tell hubby and after which he can confront his brother...the issue with things like this is that if she keeps quiet it won't end well. The fellow may think she is the quiet type and strikr again and if it ever comes out after he possibly hurts her, husband will blame her for not talking.

    www.pynk360.com

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  4. Drama when single, drama when married.
    I guess life expects u to have ur box of popcorn and maybe 3D glasses on at all times...

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  5. I'd say tell hubby and let him handle it. I only hope he isn't temperamental. It won't be easy seeing her brother-in-law everyday and pretend nothing happened except she's simply out of this world. Whatever gives her great peace within.

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  6. Happy new month everyone! May this month be the best yet. I think it was alcohol induced, unless he tries it again I'll let it go.#myopinion

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  7. Telling the husband should be hinged on her perception of her husband's probable reaction - whether it would be constructive or destructive?

    I believe her reaction was firm enough (a tad extreme if i may add) and such reaction is enough to send a clear signal of her stance on decorum.

    To preserve family bonds, i'd advise she tells hubby after the said brother-in-law's departure if the brother-in-law displays a good understanding of her stance. Otherwise, hubby should be notified promptly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uncle Chris! This ur "disappearing acts" ehn! Lol! Issokay! I trust that all is well... :)

      Delete
  8. She grabbed his throat? That's just WAY TOO COOL! In this case he's gotten the message and (unless he's migrated into being a sadist) he'll not try such stupid things next time, or something worse than throat-grabbing would surely occur. No need telling hubby in this case.

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    Replies
    1. Yea I agree with you on this Memphis, that throat grabbing alone ehhh would send so many messages to his brain and if he is a sensible dude, he would never try such again, I don't think it's necessary for her to tell hubby except he tries it again. Like sasha said drama when single another sets if drama when married, which one person go do. God I want a blissful marriage, even if I have to encounter hitches, let them be stuffs I can handle. Amen

      Delete
  9. Tell the husband now and let him handle it. It's disrespectful of his bro to treat his wife that way. If she doesn't and the situation comes out in a different light, the bro inlaw might claim the wife came unto him. Remember families tend to stick together in this kind of situations just so they can cast aspersions on a woman's character.

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  10. Better tell hubby from day one to avoid stories that touch. Happy new month everyone, may God give us all a reason to celebrate amen.

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  11. I won't keep such, will definitely tell hubby, who knows his next move.

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  12. Have you heard of family ties. Be careful what you spill in marriage. Some truths are better carried to the grave. Zip your mouth.

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  13. Its always better to tell. What about if the guy runs to the husband and says the wife came onto him. What would she say? Is that when she will now start explaining why she kept quiet? She should tell her husband and then ask him to react rationally.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well I know my husband, I will not tell him unless I plan on visiting him in Kirikiri because that brother will not leave the house in one piece.

    Even if it is alcohol induced that throat grabbing set his brain right. I will only tell if it repeats and I will make sure the brother is not be around when I tell. No be me go write statement for police station. J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haaaaa Mrs J. Your husband dey vex oh! Just cos of ass touching? Lmao!

      Well, only you know your husband more anyone else. I can just recreate a scenario where you are saying it to him and he's looking for the cutlass in the house. Lolz

      Delete
  15. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. If I was the husband I'd like to know but that's because I have an even temper and a calm head, I probably tell him to leave and that he's no longer welcome in my home. Alcohol induced or not, you should never disrespect my wife like that, it just shows that you don't even respect me. I'm not prone to violent reactions but if I still had the temper that I had as a young kid, it would be safer not to tell me.

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  16. I know one thing about men, we boast about little things to friends... And for a man to spank the ass of his brother's wife shows such ridiculous confidence. And that confidence would definitely lead him to telling someone soon and that's where the rumour starts and ends in the ears of the husband/brother.

    I would suggest she tells the husband as soon as possible, and tell him how u reacted to his misdemeanor. And also suggest to him that it may have been the amount of alcohol in his borther's system. So they should talk to him one final time and ensure sure nonsense doesn't happen again.

    Bottom line, I do not concur with keeping this a secret at all!!! Imagine I hear of this from someone else except my wife... Haa! Wahala go dey oh!

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  17. I say she should have told as soon as it happened, as well as told her reaction and let the husband handle it. Now that dust has settled, it looks a little late to start bringing it up. Besides, what if it happens again? If she now mentions the previous episode, first question is going to be why didn't you tell me? Much as I agree some things should be left unsaid, I don't think something as serious as this is one of them.

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  18. I would say please tell your husband after the party is over. Let him deal with his brother. He is going to be living with you for a month,you never know what he will do or plans to do after the throat grabbing...besides, he must have been watching you all night or from before the party,so yes i say tell your husband.

    Jackie

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  19. Am confused for the lady too...


    It all depends on the kind of hubby she has that would determine whether or not to tell. Some men can't take shii sha,so she should be prepared for wahala if she eventually tells.

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  20. I would definitely tell my husband immediately after the party. I would even accompany the telling with a clear and stern warning: he tries it again, I put a permanent mark on him. I wouldn't even think about family bond. Why couldn't the brother think of family bond before behaving stupidly?

    Like Uyi said, what if the brother tells someone who in turn tells someone and it goes on till the hubby hears? Would the hubby believe his wife that she did not enjoy it? I know a man who if he is confronted with this scenario could accuse the wife of planning to shag the brother.

    Tell, I definitely would.

    -F

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  21. She has already dealt with the situation with ferocious firmness. I'll say zip up your mouth and watch. Telling the man might have repercussions that may be very difficult to handle.

    ReplyDelete

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