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Dear Thelma... (His Friend Might Sabotage Us).




T I'm an easy going person, i know I am not perfect but I am respectful, I have a good job so I'm an independent person and I am faithful, I am only saying this because I don't know what problem my boyfriend's best friend has with me. Last month I bought my car, I just found out that my boyfriend wanted to give me half of the money but he discouraged him. Also in July we wanted to travel to SA for a week bit my boyfriend changed his mind because according to him it will be better if he invests the money back in his business, my boyfriend is very comfortable and can afford whatever he wants but I didn't say anything. If boyfriend wants to do something for me he will discourage him. If we are meant to do couple things together he will call last minute and destroy our plans. I know he is not happy because he thinks I have a strong hold on my boyfriend but it's not really true, we just have a very good relationship and are in love. I know he doesn't like me but I am always polite to him, even when I don't feel like it. Now I'm getting worried, because I know if my bf wants to propose to me he will first of all confide in him and I cannot predict what advise he will give him. I'm tempted to confront him but I don't know if that is the best option. Please I need advise what do you think? 

Comments

  1. He is just an evil spirit. Lol.
    Your boyfriend needs to see that his friend doesn't necessarily have his interest @ heart. He just might be jealous... or maybe just over protective of him... he thinks you aren't good enough for his friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry, wat makes you think his best friend's convictions aren't true? I mean, 'he is...an evil spirit?' Please come of it and be constructive with your comment a bit more

      Delete
  2. Pls dat ur bf's friend is a Monitoring spirit.biko try fasting n prayers to rebuke n condemn any spirit that will not allow u prosper IJN..AMEN

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  3. Thelma, you ran a post on when the problem in a relationship is the man's best friend. It was last year, I believe. You should send the link to this lady. The relationship between men is strong. His friend doesn't like you and will do everything to scuttle it. And your partner will chose him over you.

    Mallama

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  4. Sorry Poster but what sort of boyfriend is yours? He seems not to have a mind of his own. I don't like guys who consistently act based on a friend's (or anyone at that's) opinion. Isn't he matured and man enough to make his own decisions without allowing an outsider influence him all the time?

    That said, you may think the friend hates you but the case may be that he is jealous of your relationship with your boyfriend.

    Why not have a hard and long talk with your man? Let him know how you feel. His reaction will teach you the next line of action to take.

    -F

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    Replies
    1. Was about going Down to write down my comment when I saw this. I could have been sued for plagiarism. Precise. Plz talk to his best friend.
      Sort your negative energy with him.

      Best friends are usually decades old and they have passed through a lot before you even came in.(probably u may not have been born then)

      Delete
    2. You see ehn that bond between men runs deep, especially the ones that have been friends since forever, there's nothing they don't tell each other, even to how you moan in bed has been discussed trust me. And they trust each other's advise above any other's. Now, when a girl comes into that situation, she's perceived as an intruder and a killjoy by the one that's still single and she will be treated as such.

      That being said your man should be grown enough to know that his woman comes first and that he can't always trust his friend's opinion especially concerning her. He can't do everything that he's been told to do by his friend.

      As F said you have to talk to him about it, and soon too or your relationship might not survive it. If he doesn't change then, my dear, as hard as it might be you might have to look for someone who's not already married.

      Delete
  5. What you pointed out as the problem to me is even a secondary problem. The primary problem is that your BF lets his friend influence his decision making with regards to your relationship. Red Flag, almost similar to the Mommy's boy syndrome. Who else will he allow to influence him in the future?
    If you are thinking marriage you have no other option but to confront him. He needs to fix this right now, before marriage o. He has to make his friend know that your relationship is out of bounds and he needs to stop "consulting" Making a decision to marry someone is a huge decision, if you think your BF's friend can influence that decision, then ask yourself if you want to be married to such a man. J

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    1. Permit me to build on what J has said; you have a primary problem and that is the fact that a third party has more influence on the decisions in your relationship. You'd need to fix this.

      Relationships can be dicey and I'd want to assume that yours is still budding, that's why your boyfriend feels he should give greater weight to his friend rather than you. You'd have to find a way to convey that you have better analytic skills, have the best interest of the future of your relationship, create increased trust, and other ingredients to enable your boyfriend value not just you but your opinion on matters that concern your relationship. You might also need to talk to your boyfriend on aspects he is defaulting in.

      Oddly enough, I'd suggest you meet with the said friend, don't confront, discuss with him. Keep your boyfriend in the loop and let him hint you on basic things the said friend might appreciate. Your only objective is to win him over as a friend. It is always better to have your man's friend as a friend than as an enemy. If he proves stubborn, then stay in the relationship if you can withstand it, otherwise bail.

      Cheers.

      Delete
  6. Dear Poster, from all you've said there isn't much to draw any valid conclusion. The only things you elaborated on were "Car" and "SA trip". Both involve serious cash. That a guy is very comfortable in his business doesn't mean taking advice from a friend on how to spend his money will now be an issue. And for the fact that you've not elaborated on a specific issue that worries you apart from these two, I'm inclined to reason that his friend isn't comfortable with your boyfriend's (probable) heavy spending on you. I'm therefore sitting on the fence here till you feel comfortable giving us more information.

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    Replies
    1. Those were not the only two instance but they were the most significant. There are other little details that I won't bother to mention. Besides, my bf does not deny that his friend does not like me.

      Delete
    2. Dear Poster, now you've hit the nail. His friend doesn't like you and he doesn't deny it. Follow Bloggitop's advice. In addition also call your bf and both of you lay down EVERY card on the table before saying "I do". Stay blessed, and good luck :-)

      Delete
  7. Like Memphis said you have only sighted instances of Car and S.A Trip. Did your boyfriend tell you his best friend asked him not to buy you a car or cancel the S.A trip? cos the way it looks, you seem very sure with proof. I f you aren't sure pls don't conclude yet.
    I f you are VERY sure he is the stumbling block, call him and have a heart to heart with him. Become friends with him and have him know that you love his friend but you will never come between them cos you know he might see you trying to take his place. Just reassure him that his position is secure with your boyfriend.
    Most importantly,become his friend because he seems to be a very significant figure in your relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Memphis tho.... His friend influencing money matters is a serious issue o. So he will want to get me an expensive ring, friend will say no. Or maybe I'll want to send my kid to an expensive school, friend will say no. Money matters should be discussed between me and boo. If boo is comfortable doing it fine. I'm not a greedy person anyway and I'm very considerate. No friend should come and be 'chucking' mouth for our matters o

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She didn't specify the problems before na, just said Car and SA trip. You can't just use that piece of info to conclude on other matters. But at least now she's confirmed her boo knows there's hate process somewhere.

      Delete
    2. Kids ke! They are just boyfriend and girlfriend please.

      Please let's not get too way ahead of ourself here. Lol

      People like you can be easily deceived since your want 'expensive' jewelries. Be careful and don't let 'expensive' confuse you. #advice

      Delete
  9. He is gay. Check well.

    *Walking away

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Rotfl @evil spirit and monitoring spirit.

    Dear TTB BVs,i totally and absolutely love you all. You brighten my day,all day,everyday

    I might not get to comment all the time but trust me,i read ALL comments ,i learn and I laugh

    Thank You

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We luh you too, favorite Favourite

      Delete
  11. Abeg go and forget the guy joor. Best friend palava na serious one. Forget the relationship and move on. If he now wants to know why, tell him you don't want to be the third party in the relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  12. The first thought that came through my mind while reading your post op was talk to le boo and I can see others already told you to do same. And if you can also talk to the friend you can also give it a try.

    All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  13. That guy is gay. Why do I think this is my story. I thought the guy didn't just like me because according to my ex, his friend wanted him to date his sister but he. Chose me instead, hence the dislike. He would always frown when he visits and i'm around. Sometimes, he spends the night in my boyfriends, they'll be together talking or so I thought late into the night. At some point I suspected they used to drug my drink or water to make me sleep off bcos I wake up not remembering anything. Then came the night I did not take the drink or water, I just yawned and told them I was going to bed, I went into the room and pretended to be asleep for four hours. When I started hearing voices in the kitchen, I tiptoed and found my boo sucking the guys dick. They were both naked. I wanted to scream but immediately covered my mouth for fear that they would kill me

    ReplyDelete
  14. I got back into the room, I was praying for morning to come. My temperature was high, he came in and held me and saw that my body was very hot, he became sacred that why am I suddenly sick, he tried to kiss me but I acted like the sickness was going to make me puke, I ran to the toilet. The thought of all the times I had kissed him made me actually puke. In the morning he took me to th e hospital and left for work. I knew what made me feel so I did not bother seeing any doctor. I just went back to the house with my own key and pick the few things I had in that house. He kept calling but I told him my Pastor say it won't work. Till 2moro, I have refused to tell anyone what I saw that night. My dear, watch out o

    ReplyDelete

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