It's a few minutes past 1am and I think I've still got too much adrenaline running through my veins, I just got home and my eyes are still 'shining'. The night started out pretty slowly, I went to meet up with a friend at Swé bar. I was there for a while and then we drove back into the island and after driving round for a while, settled at BLD. BLD is just one of those places where you're bound to see everybody. Hell, while I was sipping on my Tom Collins (first time I'm having a gin based cocktail, loved it!) wondering why my date (or whatever) was taking so long in the loo, someone came and playfully brushed the side of my face, i looked up to snarl at the creature who dared, and then I saw that it was my elder brother.
Later on we had this insane barbecue at BLD, my partner decided to go local so we drove down towards Ajah to this neighbourhood joint where they do point 'n' kill, asun and the sort (somebody pray for me, my waist line musnt expand).
In all these places I saw wedding bands flash, and even those who didn't have them had the ring marks on their ring fingers. I particularly noticed about three men at Swé, all sitting alone nursing drinks, staring wistfully into their glasses and savoring those peaceful moments. And I wondered, what's so horrible about home that they come to kill time here before finally going back to it?
I remember last week at the club in PH when I told one of the guys there that I didn't want to talk about work/career/blog/money/life because these moments away from town are my escape from reality. He said to me, gesticulating around the club; "This is my escape". "Your escape from what?" I asked. "From home, from marriage" he said, and I couldn't help but feel sorry for him.
Likewise I felt sorry for all those men I saw at the bars tonight, content to sit alone and nurse drinks, content in the aloneness, away from home. I sympathize with them; the way the roam the streets, looking for something, shelter, from their own homes... They squeeze out the night for all its worth and go home only when they must, when the annoying wife calls with her whiny voice and they snap; I'm on my way! I imagine they have a knot in their throat as the shine of their night fades away, as they return to the dreary reality of home life & marriage, plunged away from their beautiful escape. I do feel sorry for them.
But I rather feel more sorry for the Mrs. What's a woman's escape?
The men can do whatever, drink in bars all night, pack a bag for the weekend and skip town, go to the strip clubs and forget the world beyond the guarded doors, pick up miss thang, pay for a hotel room and engage in a night of mindless sex, hang with the boys and revel in alcohol induced laughter and banter, or simply just take go somewhere alone and enjoy the solitude; maybe even reflect, meditate and pray... Whatever it is, there's an escape, no matter how flitting. What escape does the wife have?
I'm terribly curious. I'm also wondering if there's an actual need for escape or if men do it just 'cause they can... I mean, I understand that some partners are hellish to live with but I don't believe all these night crawling men have hellish partners, in fact most don't. So what gives....?
And on that note I'm done musing. About to hit the road, it's going to be an exciting day. Cheers y'all.
Photo source; www.marriagedigest.wordpress.com