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Fair Game?





Three blissful years. That's what Ronke and Sean had had. It was neither perfect nor completely void of the of the usual misunderstandings inherent in romantic relationships. But it was three years of a beautiful, committed relationship and everyone was waiting patiently to watch them walk down the aisle. Everyone except Bola. 

Bola comes into the picture and although very aware of Ronke, has her heart set on Sean. Sean is being nice and is quite fond of Bola but makes it clear he's in a relationship. Bola really likes Sean and thinks she has a chance with him. 

Her friend says "but he's in a relationship nau", Bola responds saying "There's no ring on his finger, therefore he's fair game". 

I've had this argument so many times that I've lost count. They may not be married but they're in a committed relationship that you are aware of. So that makes them not fair game. But I just read this somewhere "I can’t say it enough, call me whatever you want but the truth remains, in my books, everyone remains fair game until they say their vows on an altar before God", so it seems I may be alone in my thinking. 


What's your take on "poaching" someone in a relationship? Are they fair game or nah? Have you done that before, did you feel guilty about it? Do tell. 


Comments

  1. If they ain't engaged=fairgame...To be honest,when I was single,yours truely poached a guy and I didn't feel guilty... TNHW

    ReplyDelete
  2. Poaching is a very fair game. I think it's a true test of ur relationship. No one can snatch ur spouse unless that person wants to be snatched.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you seriously saying it's ok to be the reason for a possible heartbreak? As in..you know very well someone is in a (serious) relationship and just start pouncing on her man, then blame the man if he falls prey and remain blameless?

      Delete
    2. Don't hate the player,hate the game. Sometimes in pursuit of our happiness, someone else has to endure pain...c'est la vie

      Delete
  3. Another avenue to justify cheating. World people sha..LMAO.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I don't think it's fair game. It's wrong, and totally not fair.

    Trouble dey sleep, yanga come wake am up.

    ReplyDelete
  5. From the single girl's perspective, I support the ideology that he is fair game. What we should be concerned about is if the guy in the committed relationship sees himself as fair game, now there lies the issue. J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You ain't alone in your thought pattern Thelma

      Delete
  6. To me they are not fair game except if they make themselves fair game. Its the desperation to marry in nigeria that makes people throw common sense out of the window. If you are able to go after someone who has told you they are in a relationship, then you self have issues...if the person in the relationship comes after you the outsider then its a different set of dynamics. Its like seeing someone pulling a cup of water to their lips and you run and snatch the cup before it hits their lips...uhm no its not ok.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly....What is it with people that can't remove their eyes from another person's joy?

      You'll see it as fair game until someone who shares your same mentality poaches your own.

      Delete
  7. All is fair in love and war. Shekina

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nothing is fair here cos d guy already made it clear to her that he's in a relationship. The chic is just a she-devil biko why try to bring sadness to another person just for her own selfish reason.

      Delete
  8. Poach as in the man was jejely basking in the sun sipping margaritas and oblivious of anything ; then, along came the hunter girl who stole him with out his consent?
    The guy is a cheat. Simple.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Every eventual 'buying and selling' usually start with negotiations and haggling. Therefore, if any person happens to be the reason the negotiations did not turn fine, the person is to be blamed. Except of course if any of the duo involved in the negotiation unilaterally reneged on their agreement. Doing anything otherwise would not be 'fair game'. Well, in all these, karmar is the umpire.

    ReplyDelete
  10. He already made it clear he is in a relationship but she still wants to die untop his matter....olojukororo.

    As long as the person is in a committed relationship,they are not fair game.

    ReplyDelete
  11. No such thing. As far as he's in a commited relationship he's not fair game. There are so many single men in the world, in Lagos in fact, why would you now chase after someone in a committed relationship. There should be boundaries.

    As far as I'm concerned, once a guy is in a relationship, committed or not, he's off limits. What Bola is doing is unfair.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That is stupidity,later she will be crying foul that he broke her heart as if she was not told. If he is in a relationship let him be, if he wants you let him clear the coast first

    ReplyDelete
  13. It's rong for you to try to upset a serios happy relationship and I agree with the comments that if d person in the said relationship wants you, he or she would clear the coast for you! Truth is, some people just wont drop it on da matter! Dem go try shaaaaa...#enemiesofprogress...#JoyDaNuGirl

    ReplyDelete
  14. "serious happy relationship" how do you know if the relationship is that.A lot of people found strength to break up from dysfunctional relationship because someone else showed interest and persisted. That girl in an abusive relationship that refuses to break up probably finally did because one guy showed interest in her and she realized she can do better. That guy people keep saying the Girl Friend uses as rag will find the will power to leave when another girl shows him with love.

    The truth is that there is no Yes or NO answer here. If the person in the relationship is committed and is indeed in a "serious Happy relationship", he will spell it out clearly to the single person. If he does not, it's either he is not happy in his relationship or he is not committed, either way it's for the better he goes.

    Here lies the true text of a relationship. If you have something good other people will see it and they will want it and they will try to have it (esp as God has not sealed the union yet)but if it is indeed something good it will remain yours regardless. J

    ReplyDelete

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