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Fair Game?

Three blissful years. That's what Ronke and Sean had had. It was neither perfect nor completely void of the of the usual misunderstandings inherent in romantic relationships. But it was three years of a beautiful, committed relationship and everyone was waiting patiently to watch them walk down the aisle. Everyone except Bola. 

Bola comes into the picture and although very aware of Ronke, has her heart set on Sean. Sean is being nice and is quite fond of Bola but makes it clear he's in a relationship. Bola really likes Sean and thinks she has a chance with him. 

Her friend says "but he's in a relationship nau", Bola responds saying "There's no ring on his finger, therefore he's fair game". 

I've had this argument so many times that I've lost count. They may not be married but they're in a committed relationship that you are aware of. So that makes them not fair game. But I just read this somewhere "I can’t say it enough, call me whatever you want but the truth remains, in my books, everyone remains fair game until they say their vows on an altar before God", so it seems I may be alone in my thinking. 

What's your take on "poaching" someone in a relationship? Are they fair game or nah? Have you done that before, did you feel guilty about it? Do tell. 


  1. If they ain't engaged=fairgame...To be honest,when I was single,yours truely poached a guy and I didn't feel guilty... TNHW

  2. Poaching is a very fair game. I think it's a true test of ur relationship. No one can snatch ur spouse unless that person wants to be snatched.

    1. Are you seriously saying it's ok to be the reason for a possible heartbreak? As know very well someone is in a (serious) relationship and just start pouncing on her man, then blame the man if he falls prey and remain blameless?

    2. Don't hate the player,hate the game. Sometimes in pursuit of our happiness, someone else has to endure pain...c'est la vie

  3. Another avenue to justify cheating. World people sha..LMAO.

  4. I don't think it's fair game. It's wrong, and totally not fair.

    Trouble dey sleep, yanga come wake am up.

  5. From the single girl's perspective, I support the ideology that he is fair game. What we should be concerned about is if the guy in the committed relationship sees himself as fair game, now there lies the issue. J

    1. You ain't alone in your thought pattern Thelma

  6. To me they are not fair game except if they make themselves fair game. Its the desperation to marry in nigeria that makes people throw common sense out of the window. If you are able to go after someone who has told you they are in a relationship, then you self have issues...if the person in the relationship comes after you the outsider then its a different set of dynamics. Its like seeing someone pulling a cup of water to their lips and you run and snatch the cup before it hits their lips...uhm no its not ok.

    1. Exactly....What is it with people that can't remove their eyes from another person's joy?

      You'll see it as fair game until someone who shares your same mentality poaches your own.

  7. All is fair in love and war. Shekina

    1. Nothing is fair here cos d guy already made it clear to her that he's in a relationship. The chic is just a she-devil biko why try to bring sadness to another person just for her own selfish reason.

  8. Poach as in the man was jejely basking in the sun sipping margaritas and oblivious of anything ; then, along came the hunter girl who stole him with out his consent?
    The guy is a cheat. Simple.

  9. Every eventual 'buying and selling' usually start with negotiations and haggling. Therefore, if any person happens to be the reason the negotiations did not turn fine, the person is to be blamed. Except of course if any of the duo involved in the negotiation unilaterally reneged on their agreement. Doing anything otherwise would not be 'fair game'. Well, in all these, karmar is the umpire.

  10. He already made it clear he is in a relationship but she still wants to die untop his matter....olojukororo.

    As long as the person is in a committed relationship,they are not fair game.

  11. No such thing. As far as he's in a commited relationship he's not fair game. There are so many single men in the world, in Lagos in fact, why would you now chase after someone in a committed relationship. There should be boundaries.

    As far as I'm concerned, once a guy is in a relationship, committed or not, he's off limits. What Bola is doing is unfair.

  12. That is stupidity,later she will be crying foul that he broke her heart as if she was not told. If he is in a relationship let him be, if he wants you let him clear the coast first

  13. It's rong for you to try to upset a serios happy relationship and I agree with the comments that if d person in the said relationship wants you, he or she would clear the coast for you! Truth is, some people just wont drop it on da matter! Dem go try shaaaaa...#enemiesofprogress...#JoyDaNuGirl

  14. "serious happy relationship" how do you know if the relationship is that.A lot of people found strength to break up from dysfunctional relationship because someone else showed interest and persisted. That girl in an abusive relationship that refuses to break up probably finally did because one guy showed interest in her and she realized she can do better. That guy people keep saying the Girl Friend uses as rag will find the will power to leave when another girl shows him with love.

    The truth is that there is no Yes or NO answer here. If the person in the relationship is committed and is indeed in a "serious Happy relationship", he will spell it out clearly to the single person. If he does not, it's either he is not happy in his relationship or he is not committed, either way it's for the better he goes.

    Here lies the true text of a relationship. If you have something good other people will see it and they will want it and they will try to have it (esp as God has not sealed the union yet)but if it is indeed something good it will remain yours regardless. J


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


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Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

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I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
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Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

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It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
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