My friend and on again off again blog reader, Uju Beibe, is in town, I think that's why I made that final decision to take the trip to PH. Late Friday night, I joined Uju and her boo at Blinx, one of the hottest clubs in town at the moment, or so it seems.
Well Blinx was alright, nothing special, in my opinion. So when on Saturday night at Beer Barn with my friend and his friends, he excitedly asked; "oh you went to Blinx? You liked it, right?" I wasn't quite sure how to respond beyond saying "it was aiii...". I could tell he was disappointed with my unenthusiastic response but anything other than "it was aiii" would have been a lie.
Next thing I know, he interrupted my tequila shots to excitedly point someone out to me. "Look! Look there!" He said, his arms flailing wildly. I looked, I saw a guy but I wasn't sure who. I look back to my friend inquiringly. "Uti. That's Uti!" He squealed.
Without meaning to be sarcastic I rolled my eyes and tossed a wedge of lime into my mouth. My friend looks at me like wetin dey worry this babe sef?. I respond verbally; "sorry I'm a Lagosian, I'm not easily impressed".
Hahaha. The start of World War III. The hollering about how Lagos ain't shiii and all.
Right, how do I say this without being offensive? I guess either ways I'll get into trouble if I air my opinion so let me keep it moving. Bottomline is Lagos is the "shiii", and I could do an entire post about this, starting with how I couldn't find a single place to have a decent breakfast in this town this morning. But it's ok... (I'm not from Lagos state so why start a war over another man's land?).
This morning I attended service at House on The Rock. It was quite nice, the visiting pastor was really great, vibrant and full of the Word. Today's sermon was basically about living according to God's commands and how we must teach our children what's right and what's wrong; homosexuality, for instance. Then he added that if you come to him for deliverance from homosexuality, before he begins to pray for you he will first give you a dirty slap on the face. Loud laughter ensued but I wasn't sure what to make of this; the deliverance from (the spirit of?) homosexuality, and then the dirty slap...
Like I said, the message was living within the confines of God's commands, but the preacher wouldn't focus on it. He spoke more about marriage and how spouses must learn to tolerate each other. He then began to tell us about his parents' marriage, how they've been married for 44 years and still going strong. Apparently theirs is the beacon of a "good" marriage as God intended it. He castigated young couples of today who divorce over the flimsiest reasons. He then went ahead to tell us about the day his mum heard his dad was in some hotel with a chic. His mum went to said hotel with a spare key of her husband's car and then drove the car back home. Daddy emerging from his sexcapade met an open space where his car had been and began to cry blue murder. He then called home to say he had been robbed or something. On getting home he met his car in the compound. Busted! He begged and begged and she forgave. But of course by the next week he was in bed with another woman. In fact daddy was a chaser! Mummy caught him many many more times. In fact this once she caught him right in bed on top another woman, all mummy did was smile and say Hiii! Of focus that killed the mood for daddy and his boo-thang and daddy ran behind mummy, begging. Mummy forgave. Daddy still kept cheating.
But look at them today, 44 years and still going strong! In fact I should ask my mother to come and take the premarital classes for engaged couples.
I'm beginning to think that a 'polyamorous' penis is really second nature to men. I mean, I didn't really hear the pastor or anyone sniggering at daddy's wandering peepee. In fact, it sounded rather normal, understandable, acceptable even.
And the woman who had stayed and endured 44 years of pain, humiliation, disappointment, embarrassment, probably STDs, loneliness, tears and discontent, should be applauded, praised and even emulated...
I've come to understand that terrible as cheating might sound, its the least reason a Nigerian wife would walk out of her marriage. But the pastor's Mum who's borne this burden for 44 years, because marriage is 'till death do us part', is she really worthy of our praise? But then again, isn't she? I really don't know what to think anymore these days.
Well, happy Sunday guys. For those who went to church, I hope you enjoyed service/mass? Care to tell us what today's sermon was about at yours?