Skip to main content

I'm a Lagosian, I'm Not Easily Impressed!




My friend and on again off again blog reader, Uju Beibe, is in town, I think that's why I made that final decision to take the trip to PH. Late Friday night, I joined Uju and her boo at Blinx, one of the hottest clubs in town at the moment, or so it seems.  

Well Blinx was alright, nothing special, in my opinion. So when on Saturday night at Beer Barn with my friend and his friends, he excitedly asked; "oh you went to Blinx? You liked it, right?" I wasn't quite sure how to respond beyond saying "it was aiii...". I could tell he was disappointed with my unenthusiastic response but anything other than "it was aiii" would have been a lie. 

Next thing I know, he interrupted my tequila shots to excitedly point someone out to me. "Look! Look there!" He said, his arms flailing wildly. I looked, I saw a guy but I wasn't sure who. I look back to my friend inquiringly. "Uti. That's Uti!" He squealed

Without meaning to be sarcastic I rolled my eyes and tossed a wedge of lime into my mouth. My friend looks at me like wetin dey worry this babe sef?. I respond verbally; "sorry I'm a Lagosian, I'm not easily impressed". 

Hahaha. The start of World War III. The hollering about how Lagos ain't shiii and all.

Right, how do I say this without being offensive? I guess either ways I'll get into trouble if I air my opinion so let me keep it moving. Bottomline is Lagos is the "shiii", and I could do an entire post about this, starting with how I couldn't find a single place to have a decent breakfast in this town this morning. But it's ok... (I'm not from Lagos state so why start a war over another man's land?). 

This morning I attended service at House on The Rock. It was quite nice, the visiting pastor was really great, vibrant and full of the Word. Today's sermon was basically about living according to God's commands and how we must teach our children what's right and what's wrong; homosexuality, for instance. Then he added that if you come to him for deliverance from homosexuality, before he begins to pray for you he will first give you a dirty slap on the face. Loud laughter ensued but I wasn't sure what to make of this; the deliverance from (the spirit of?) homosexuality, and then the dirty slap...

Like I said, the message was living within the confines of God's commands, but the preacher wouldn't focus on it. He spoke more about marriage and how spouses must learn to tolerate each other. He then began to tell us about his parents' marriage, how they've been married for 44 years and still going strong. Apparently theirs is the beacon of a "good" marriage as God intended it. He castigated young couples of today who divorce over the flimsiest reasons. He then went ahead to tell us about the day his mum heard his dad was in some hotel with a chic. His mum went to said hotel with a spare key of her husband's car and then drove the car back home. Daddy emerging from his sexcapade met an open space where his car had been and began to cry blue murder. He then called home to say he had been robbed or something. On getting home he met his car in the compound. Busted! He begged and begged and she forgave. But of course by the next week he was in bed with another woman.  In fact daddy was a chaser! Mummy caught him many many more times. In fact this once she caught him right in bed on top another woman, all mummy did was smile and say Hiii! Of focus that killed the mood for daddy and his boo-thang and daddy ran behind mummy, begging. Mummy forgave. Daddy still kept cheating. 

But look at them today, 44 years and still going strong! In fact I should ask my mother to come and take the premarital classes for engaged couples

I'm beginning to think that a 'polyamorous' penis is really second nature to men. I mean, I didn't really hear the pastor or anyone sniggering at daddy's wandering peepee. In fact, it sounded rather normal, understandable, acceptable even. 
    And the woman who had stayed and endured 44 years of pain, humiliation, disappointment, embarrassment, probably STDs, loneliness, tears and discontent, should be applauded, praised and even emulated...

Really? 

I've come to understand that terrible as cheating might sound, its the least reason a Nigerian wife would walk out of her marriage. But the pastor's Mum who's borne this burden for 44 years, because marriage  is 'till death do us part', is she really worthy of our praise? But then again, isn't she? I really don't know what to think anymore these days. 


Well, happy Sunday guys. For those who went to church, I hope you enjoyed service/mass? Care to tell us what today's sermon was about at yours? 



Comments

  1. Lagos is the shii true true sha. Lol.

    I recall sometime in '99 when I saw Toyin Raji in the flesh and I was like "Meehhnnn...as in...meeehhhhnnn...". Lol, I was mega excited. Until I started seeing her almost every other day. My cousin then pointed to her residence, a few blocks from ours. 6 months later it was from "Meehn see Toyin Rajiiii!!!" to "Oh, it's just Toyin na, why you de Para?", if an excited fan screams her name on sighting her. That's what happens when you're used to so much good stuff and people misunderstand you when you're not easily impressed by *shining things*.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thelma, as a ph girl who's lived in Lagos, there is NO WAY you'd have found ph remotely fun, no way- except you keep/kept an open mind.
    About the pastor's preaching and what it seemed to imply, the truth is that men in Ph are excused their bad habit of cheating - it's almost expected.
    People expect that the men will have wandering penises- kalabari and ijaw esp- it's expected that any woman marrying into those tribes would understand that a man would cheat but as long as he "respected" you, then you were ok.
    It was not until I met my hubby that this mindset, which I'd begun to believe, was uprooted from my sub consciousness and consciousness.
    He let me know that cheating, on whoever's side, is only an invitation for the devil to come into your home and destroy it.
    I have to admit that before I met my hubby, I'd never really viewed cheating the way he'd explained it- and I can only thank God that DH has such beliefs cos I'd been wired to believe the worst about men..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dido, always try to read and comprehend. Thelma never restricted the cheating story to PH men so where did u get urs from? Is it bcos she mentioned being in PH? And why generalise. Na wa ooo

      Delete
    2. Sweetie, Dido talked of her experience in PH. She decided to focus on that part, last time I checked it wasn't a crime.

      Delete
  3. So the woman endured all that for 44years?! I give am hand o but that doesn't me other women have to. That who only encourage ladies who have been frustrated with their husband's cheating escapades to continue enduring it.


    Service was great.....it was based on man failing to do their part in ensuring the world live in is filed with peace and God's blessing. Our focus being mainly on physical things(the earthly) than spiritual.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's where I have a problem o! When the man is not even admonished at all. My father would tell me it's "normal" for a man to cheat, and if my husband does(God forbid bad thing...lol) I MUST forgive him and move on, because, that (obviously) is what a "good" and "godly" wife does. I then asked him, what if I cheat. Mehn... you don't want to know the story that followed that one... short story, he won't even stand by me if it happens...

    There's this woman in her late 70's in my church. She has chaired many federal organizations and has even been the first at some... she told my mom how her husband used to cheat on her then, and how she didn't let it bother her in the slightest bit. even to the extent that she'll see evidence(whilst picking out her husband's clothes), put it on the table for the man to see and then turn a blind eye. The man would want to start a fight about it(even at that), she'll be patient with him. The day her driver tried to snitch on her husband, she warned him sternly, never to do that again. She'll see him with his girlfriend, and tell her driver to pass another route. They celebrated 50 years of marriage like 4 years ago. As far as my popsy is concerned, she is an epitome of a virtuous woman! Loool! And then you begin to wonder... we're together on this one o jare... I don't know what to think.

    Church:
    Sunday school: journey to self discovery....

    Sermon: Master, What shall we do? 2kings 6 v 15 when elisha's servent was asking him what to do when the Syrian army surrounded them. Basically, it's about being in situations where you're so confused and you just don't know what next to do. Steps to take in such situations and what you need.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As if the commandment God gave against committing adultery is meant for only women. A lot of men are only religious but unGodly!

      -F

      Delete
  5. Of course Lagos is the shii, I thought that Abuja would be better, but you can't compare biko.

    How much more PH.

    If there had been a question an answer session at HOTR, and I had been there, I'd ask the preacher some very hard questions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As in! We are on the same wavelength re Q&A session with this 'pastor'

      This kind that will be giving women in the congregation new levels of 'grace'

      Delete
  6. Today's sermon was about Trusting God and Obeying His commandments, then reaping the rewards. Abraham is a perfect example.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lagos is fun. Though, the unnecessary hassle and concentration of hoodlums, area boys, every tom, dick and omonile begging for money and touts robbing people in traffic and falling tankers and burning buildings and dead bodies on streets and mushin cult boys fighting leaves much to be desired.
      Kratos

      Delete
  7. I cannot praise the wife lailai. She's the kinda mother who raises his sons to become cheats and daughters to accept whatever comes their way all in the name of marriage. Where is the respect?

    Sermon today was interractive and based of Evangelism and the needs for it particularly at this period (Mark 16:15). It was actually a sub-topic under a broader topic: The Youth and God Service.

    I wish everyone a blessed week.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. *raises her sons
      *based on

      Sorry for the typos

      -F

      Delete
  8. Service was great. Thelma Shebi you ran away again without making a post... I'm watching you in 5D. I attended MFM youth church akoka, meeeehn, twas amazeballs. Plus the thanksgiving for september borns like us. As for cheating men, women can like to worry themselves. Hope for the best but expect the worst. If you think your man won't cheat, I wish you well. In short happy heartbreak in advance. Life is too short to worry or argue over what will be. I will rather pray he disappoints me by not cheating, but expecting him not to.... I'm just joking with myself. As for getting excited on seeing celebs, Calabar has the worst kind of fans ever. They will see you and pretend they havnt seen you. During the Xmas festival when the celebs are in town, they will just act like they havnt even noticed shii. Calabar fans are wicked sha. Lol. Lagos ain't shii #tongue out# I hate lagos. Can't wait to disappear. 4 more months...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yay! You were in my church today*shines teeth*

      Service was really great today. The pastor talked about the anointing of ease and explained it with Psalm 23. It was expository and very good.

      As for the Pastor's mum, I still had this conversation with my dad on Saturday night. Its expected of a man to cheat and the woman to take it with "equanimity"(I should google the meaning of that word sef) and I'm like, really? I should just move on like nothing happened and forgive? I told him point blank, I will not cheat on him in return, I'll just cook his meals with Castor oil for at least 3 days( this one makes me vindictive..lol), no time to ask mumu questions.

      He went ahead to tell me the story of one of his bosses back in the day who used to cheat serially on his wife. One day the woman caught him with their househelp in the bq and she didnt say anything, she didnt cause a scene or starve him or deny him access to her "cookie". After 3days, boss man came to apologise in tears. I now asked, did he stop cheating after that, he said no. Now, this woman suffered this humiliation for a very very long time and eventually died of cancer yet, oga is still alive. Imagine what the woman's life would have been like if she had left that man some 20yrs b4 she died.

      I dont know where this story is going but I dont think she should be praised, she decided to let a man treat her like crap for that long, its her business not ours.

      Delete
  9. @Memphis.. Toyin who? Lol..how old are you bro? Kiddin... I've been in Lag 8 months now and it still pulls stunts on me

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL. At least "bro" isn't in capitals.

      Delete
  10. We learnt about Eternity and where we want to spend it, that it is only here time counts so we should spend it wisely.
    I stay in lagos but I hardly see celebs,maybe its because of my location. When I see them though they don't impress me much.
    Have an awesome week everyone guys.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Same old Shiii!
    Comment approval seriously dulling d blog.

    ReplyDelete
  12. In Nigeria, Lagos is the truth! Forget people who argue that jo.

    Sermon today was about the words we speak to people around us...how good are they? Would it be better if one were speech impaired? So as not to speak/plan evil as some people so often do.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Lagos my Lagos! You can't compare.

    As for cheating I'll say if you forgive your husband once then take whatever you see after that as your fault.

    Today's sermon was from Hebrews 11: 1-3, I've never really heard faith explained the way it was explained today. Pastor Paul's wife preached and I'm still reeling from the truth she spoke.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Lagos is the centre for excellence in Nigeria for a reason...no matter how dirty, chaotic or disorganised it seems, lagos has swag!

    As for pastors preaching tolerance for infidelity- they only speak for the men...Nobody speaks for the women and for as long as our mothers and us as women continue to celebrate 50 years anniversary etc- 50 years of stds, heartaches and misery without being honest to younger women- we willcontinue to be disadvantaged as women.

    Prior to marryig my husband I was clear about my stance on infidelity. It's unacceptable on either our parts and it only erodes the quality of marriage and happiness in our home. I am not programmed for unhappiness so at that point I can only react in a way that i can be happy. There is no trophy for a suffering wife, you will just find you wasted your productive years with an ingrate.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. That pastor was not preaching in the Spirit but out of his own carnal mind. Honestly he should be cautioned by the senior pastor, unless they believe the same.

    ReplyDelete
  16. That pastor was not speaking in the Spirit but out of his own carnal mind. Such people are dangerous and should be cautioned by the Senior Pastor. If I understand correctly it wasn't even the original message he was asked to speak on but his own agenda. He fit be agent oo!

    ReplyDelete
  17. That pastor was not speaking in the Spirit but out of his own carnal mind. Such people are dangerous and should be cautioned by the Senior Pastor. If I understand correctly it wasn't even the original message he was asked to speak on but his own agenda. He fit be agent oo!

    ReplyDelete
  18. That pastor was not speaking in the Spirit but out of his own carnal mind. Such people are dangerous and should be cautioned by the Senior Pastor. If I understand correctly it wasn't even the original message he was asked to speak on but his own agenda. He fit be agent oo!
    Sweetpeaches.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Omg you said exactly my thoughts I was in the service as well and was like are we supposed to remain in that kind of marriage , ph sucks I miss lagos so much, hit me up when next ur in town

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.