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If He Can't Accept Me At My FAT, He Doesn't Deserve Me At My SKINNY!

Hello Nelly,

Been saying I will drop a line to tell you how amazing I feel you are, your multitasting is on flee! Kudos.

I too recently lost a lot of weight (65kg) am a mom too but I have a problem,
Since I lost weight I feel my husband doesn’t deserve me. Before you say anything let me explain.

I was really overweight and he would insult me, deny me of sex (over a year! and when I ask he will say doesn’t do fat girls) talk down at me and all.

Now I have lost the weight he is all over me, trying to show me off to his friends and asking me out like we just me.

I know it’s a good thing but I just feel since wasn’t (he doesn’t) deserve me anymore.

I worked hard for this body and this body deserves good love.

Am I wrong to feel that way?

The above was sent to Nelly Akabogu, the lady popular for her super duper inspiring weight loss and freshly made health foods. This post particularly reminded me of a conversation I had with a lady when I was about to begin my most recent weight loss journey sometime in February. As you know, if you've tried to lose weight, before you come to the acceptance that there are no short cuts and its best if you do the work, you try all sorts of quick weight loss methods. One of the ones I tried is the diet coffee that curbs your appetite. So I called the dealer, some lady in Abuja, I'd seen her before and after pics and she lost a great deal of weight. She too told me how this weight loss had tremendously changed her marriage/husband. She said that he never once before put up her picture as his DP but now he never uses anyone else's pictures, not his, not the kids, not Jesus's. Just hers. She said he suddenly allows her follow him to events, parties and other occasions and is always eager to show her off. But unlike the poster above she didn't seem to mind this at all, perhaps because, as she said, before she lost the weight he actually never complained about her weight and she never knew he had a problem with it, she thought he didn't put her pictures on display because he was just "shy"...

Well this lady above, any thoughts on the matter?

That said, 65kg? KUDOS to this woman!


  1. Na wa o, wife is fat husband will complain. Wife loses weight wife will complain. What is it sef? She should leave him na

    1. Lolllllssss Steele ehhhh huh na so this world be, humans no get satisfaction, we complain about virtually everything.

  2. "...I worked hard for this body and this body deserves good love...". From where biko?

    Unless she wants to pay her hubby back in his own coin (which isn't worth it to me), I'm sealing lips on that statement.

    But 65kg? That was complete ME about 17years ago. Wow...

  3. Her name is Nelly Agbogu not Akabogu.

  4. That is what you get when you marry a wimp for a husband....

    She should do what makes her feel happy.

  5. This post says a lot,not just on weight-loss but everything about women.
    How u treat a woman when ur going is good (and when her going is bad) determines how she wld treat u inturn when the tables are turned...

    1. I can understand that Ur statement is specifically towards dis post. But what u just said isn't in anyway feminine, as in it is just law of human nature. So how u treat a woman or man is just d way u would get it in turn.
      Don't 'genderlize' abeg. Lol

  6. Men should support their wives, having kids isn't a piece of cake, its takes toll of ur mind, body n everything else.

    Having a hubby who does not appreciate you when the body is outta place makes the entire process very encouraging.

    He should try pushing out a 4.5kg baby outta his arse. Hisssssss

  7. Hmmmmmmm, she really doesn't need all this, I think she should just move on a man would always be a man trust me no matter what, even she leaves him because she feels he doesn't deserve her wouldn't he find another hot babe to tag along with? Abeggy just be happy ojere.

  8. Husband was very insensitive but she doesn't need all the payback drama....deny your husband for sex for too long, he ll just get another woman outside. Sex is pretty cheap these days...she should be wise

  9. Really though?

    He treats her like crap for God knows how long and she should just "gboju" because "he's a man" or if you "deny your husband sex for too long, he ll just get another woman outside."? Why didn't someone preach this "message" to him when he was denying her sex? That guy is a puss and he doesn't deserve her sexy body!

    I swear, this life is unfair. I still told my colleagues on Friday, amma be a man in my next life. There's just too much pain being a woman in today's world. Everything is skewed in favour of the male folk.

    Unfortunately, as much as I want to, I can't advise this woman to treat her hubby the same way he treated her cos like y'all have implied, its a man's world; so madam, suck it up and be a "good" wife.

    1. Beautifully said...Ladies plz look very well before getting married because when you are married, you will have to deal with whatever you see....The GOOD, BAD & UGLY

    2. Same thoughts too. Some Men shaa!!

  10. Well, her husband was not good to her yet what's the use of cheating on him too? Especially if she would want their marriage in place.

    I have been seeing and hearing ladies say they'd want to be a man of they came back to earth. Me, I want to remain a lady o. Forever sef.


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


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Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

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I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
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Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
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