There are some things you read and you're completely lost for words. This is one of those, which a reader sent to Bella Naija. Please read and share your thoughts.
I am an engineer in her thirties and right now my career is going extremely well. I am married with a young daughter and I have a boyfriend who I am about to leave my husband for.
Before you judge, please read the full story.
As a young girl, I was one of those weirdos, the type of girl who did not have any friends. Instead, I read books all day long. My mother was always trying to make me more social and more feminine in my appearance and it did not work at all!
I was always a top student and in my time, many people had to take JAMB so many times. I took it once, scored a very high mark and got admission to my first choice university to study Engineering.
I was one of very few ladies in my department and it made things easier for me to just mind my business. The guys accepted me as one of the boys as I was not one of the glamour girls on campus. I never had any relationship and nobody ever toasted me. Maybe because of the way I used to dress, very very very plain, I don’t know. I liked it that way. I eventually graduated at a young age with a high grade (sorry, trying to avoid specifics for privacy reasons). I did NYSC and also got a state scholarship to go to the UK for my masters and then a job with an international company.
I chose the job.
My mother is a Catholic Mother, she is very involved in her church group. Around the time I graduated from university, one of her fellow Catholic mothers’ son had just come back from his scholarship PhD in Russia.
He was also a weirdo like me (according to our mothers).
They decided to introduce us.
I accepted because I just wanted my mother to stop disturbing me and I felt I might as well just do it now and get it over with.
With the wisdom I have now, I cannot believe I accepted this arrangement.
Let me tell you about the man I married. He is very very brilliant but has zero social skills. He has no friends, hardly talks, not romantic etc…It sounds horrid but at the time, he was the male version of me.
When we got married, I liked it because it allowed me to just focus on my work.
We have had sex just twice in our marriage of almost 10 years.
Yes, 2 times.
One day, he told me I was beautiful. Nobody, not even my parents had told me that before. He was actually the one who introduced me to this website. I started learning more about fashion and beauty. Before, I used to wear an old wig my mother had given me, I thought it was professional.
It was terrible!
started watching youtube and learned how to style my natural hair and apply makeup.
I cannot leave my daughter here and go. I have to take her with me but I feel bad because she is the only one her father has. She is the only one who makes him smile or brings out any emotions in him. He is not the most hands on father but he tries.
I know it is quite wrong but my daughter already knows my boyfriend as her mother’s friend. They get along well. I am not even doing to think about the ruckus that will be faced especially from the Catholic Mothers group due to the scandal.
Now what do I do?
If I go, my daughter will be away from her father and the man I married will be all alone. If I stay here, I will be miserable and losing out on my career, love and life.