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SOS. She Can't Cook To Save Her Life! (Men, Let's Talk)

Two Sundays ago when I attended service at HOTR PH, couples who wed the previous day were brought forward and the husbands gave brief speeches. Each one praised his wife for being such a good woman, for being exceptionally beautiful and kind hearted, for roughing it out through the rough times and sticking with them. But this one groom, whose speech ironically was the longest, only seemed to praise his wife for one thing; her cooking. 

He went on and on and on about how she's a good cook, how he's an igbo man and she's a kalabari woman and she spoils him with both Igbo and Rivers delicacies, about how there's nothing she cannot cook and how he is thankful for a future lifetime of good food. It was only towards the end that he added, albeit unconvincingly; "and as you can see she is beautiful".

Made me wonder, why so much ado about cooking! My friend told me about her mum's extremely beautiful friend who was in a very abusive marriage. She then added "it was when we grew up that we now understood why her husband used to beat her like a mad man; she couldn't cook!"

Since when is that enough reason, or reason at all, to beat a woman?

In any case, this cooking thing is obviously more serious than I thought, see this mail a young man just sent to @Nigerianwedding on Instagram:

"I've been dating my girlfriend for six months now- and I really do like her. However, she's such a terrible cook (un edible) ! I do really love food and a woman that can cook as well. I can't see us going strong like I would have wanted because of this and contemplating breaking up with her. Would it be rude to tell her I am breaking up with her because she's a bad cook?! Also, should I enroll her in a cooking class?! she can be super sensitive 

sometimes-and can take it to be a bad gesture)"

Hmmmm, what advice would you give this man? 
Ladies, let's talk, on a scale of one to ten (1-10) how good is your cooking? 
Do you
-Think it's your role as a woman/duty to cook for your man?
-Do it just because it makes him happy?

Fellas, on a scale of one to ten (1-10) how important is it to you that your woman know how to cook?
If you had to choose would you rather your woman be good in bed or good in the kitchen?

Let's talk. 

Photo source;


  1. Err.. How good is my cooking on a scale of 1-10.. a 5 maybe.

    I wouldn't cook because its your God given privilege. I will cook cos I want to. And no, i won't go to a bf's house and cook up a storm, lai!

  2. I can't compromise on bed and kitchen please. Don't give me that kind of options Plz.

    Anyways, this is how I'm gonna say it to her "hey baby, I love you and you know that. U can be a lil sensitive but u gotta listen to this, I've got in touch with an associate of mine who suggested the chef who has worked great wonders in the way his wife cooks for him nowadays... and I think its a great idea to learn those amazing delicacies u have been trying to make for us, I know you are trying but I believe you can do a lot better...
    And I think it is very important you do this for the growth of our relationship please"

    1. Hmmmmmm. I think I just fell in love. *ok, getting back on my feet now*

      But what if she has no desire to learn?

    2. Passes the point accross without being condesending..

    3. I'll have to memorize this just in case... Although I've been lucky never to be with a woman that can't cook

  3. If you can afford to, help her learn. Cooking is a skill, and it can be learned. You don't need to earn a phd, however, I believe every one, man and woman should have basic cooking skills.

    But I won't accord boyfriend any husband privileges, that being said, If the BF pays, he should reap some rewards.

    When I got married, I didn't know sh**t about making afang, edikainkong, atama etc soups. Hubby got someone to help out, after several attempts, I can say I'm a pro.

    On a scale of 1 - 10, my cooking skills would be a 7 for some local delicacies and a 5/6 for "oyinbo" delicacies.

    If I do say so myself. I do cook a storm somedays, other days, it's just a phase.

  4. On a scale of 1to10, my cooking skills is on the 7th. A lotta confirmations frm strangers even bhind my back.
    And I'd love to cook for my hubby just to make him happy cos his happiness Is mine also, not becos its my role. I also love d kitchen and everything dat goes on in it.

  5. It surprises me (borderline amusement, actually), how much relevance is placed on food and cooking.
    but if she can't cook, get her to follow recipes to the letter, and I can guarantee your food would come out tasting great. losing a good woman because she can;t cook is rather a travesty, in my opinion.

  6. On a scale of 1-10, I think I'm a 6-7 when it comes to cooking...
    I can cook @bfs place if m hungry, or in a really good mood.... But no unnecessary kitchen work to impress..No husband privileges for bf abeg... And if I hear say I cook up a storm for bf... Even breeze sef..mschew...

    1. No be privileges for husband abeg....but u go to his place and I'm sure u guys are not just sitting and looking into each others eyes

    2. my dear, abstinence is a "thing" o... and even if i wasnt sitting n looking at his face, i'm doing it because i want to as well...not because i'm trying to keep a man...

  7. Lol@ even breeze sef.

    The guy should tell her as gently as possible,if she no gree hear na her wahala.

    On a scale of 1-10,I am a 5. Currently I cook because it is expected of me being the only girl. It is tiring. Hopefully,I won't feel that way when I get married.

  8. Ode nii bobo yii sha.....he is so not serious. Abeg he should break up with her fast so she can meet someone that deserves her cuz to me he doesn't. Iranu Oshi,hiss...Yes I have vex

    Was he not cooking/eating before he met her? It's annoying that the first thought that crosses his mind is bailing out on her.So all her other qualities has become null and void cuz she can't cook?To think he is even a boyfriend sef not fiance or husband.

    Since he is such a good cook,why hasn't he taught her?Personally I know someone that married a babe that can't cook,yet he is alive and thriving.....

    And Yes I can cook,i would give myself a 7 on a scale of 10

    1. Err my favorite Favourite... people have deal breakers... some people feel that a man not being able to speak good English is just totally unacceptable and they can't deal... meanwhile, another person that married someone like that would tell you that's a ridiculous reason to let a good man go because you can change him. Some men(albeit very few) don't care too much for food. They'll even prefer a cook or chef. They don't want their wife slaving away in the kitchen. Some even prefer to cook. So you see... but the larger percentage of men want their wives to know how to cook and cook good food. it is just what it is... for a lot of men... it's a deal breaker! so if you as a woman, you want your man to take on his major roles... like being the chief financer of the home... you won't expect him to chill for you to teach him how to. so as a woman, you shouldn't wait for a man to come and teach you how to cook or subtly drop hints.
      As much as I agree that women shouldn't be the only one to cook in the home... I don't deceive myself and tell myself it is not my responsibility.. it is.. and as such... women who don't know how to should Learn! And not wait to be told subtly or condescendingly. It's that simple.

    2. My kaboy Kabuoy, Nne daalu o.

  9. I'll say 8.

    I don't have much of an appetite, so I'll say I cook out of necessity. My children don't encourage me to cook but hubby........ I'm sure he won't have married me if I didn't know how to cook and helps out when I'm pregnant, / sick.

    This post brought about memories of that pot of soup.. *winks*. Thanks for today. May God bring pleasant surprises your way.

  10. On a scale of 1-10, my cooking is 5. My mom taught me that cooking is the ultimate responsibility of a woman in her home. I've seen her cook for the family even when we get back from a long distant journey late in the night. No matter the situation, my mom won't take any excuse for not cooking (unless you are sick), she'll say 'A good woman cooks for her family no matter the situation'. I could go on and on.

    But the truth is I can't go as far as she went in the cooking area, can't deal abeg. I've told her sef.

  11. On a scale of 1-10, I can't actually rate myself. O just know that I'm a good cook, end of story

  12. Wait... What about guys that do husband things for girlfriend? What would you advice his gf to do?

    How would you feel if your man doesn't look forward to eating your food but he prefers to eat out instead? Or if his starts frequenting his ex's place because she's a good cook and he'd rather eat her food than eat his wife's food, would you like that?

  13. Why Is it that a woman mist know how to cook?! I have this friend at work and her husband does all the cooking and why not!

    Ima fantastic cook and I know it , also I genuinely love cooking but I definitely won't cook all the time so hubby cooks too. If he isn't sure how to do it I'll walk him thru it. No body is anybody's maid abeg !
    Before u know it ur hubby will be looking young and u will be looking aged people will start wondering if he is ur son! Forget it! If we are sharing the bills we are sharing house work and cooking!
    BUT if I become a full house wife and a kept woman then I'll cook whatever is required of me . :)

  14. I do not like cooking. In fact, I cook because I have to not because I enjoy doing it. The first time I was asked to cook a pot of soup, I ate half the meat and got the soup burnt (forgot all about it while playing - I was 13!).

    However, I cook pretty well. I cook for my husband because he wants/loves it and he himself cannot cook; somebody has to do the job. If I had my way, I wouldn't step a foot in a kitchen. But while I do not enjoy cooking, I enjoy the praises that follow after hubby eats my meals and the satisfaction he gets from eating them. Also enjoy the fact that I know what my children are putting in their belly.

    That said, I know that there is a level a woman grows to career-wise, that she may not have time to cook for her family all the time. In this instance, the husband should understand and step in if he can cook and has the time or allow a chef to step in (just as a woman can help take care of household expenses if the husband is not capable).


  15. On a scale of 1-10, my cooking should be like 7.
    Yes I cook most times to make him happy cos he loves food a lot, I know I won't be cooking as much as I do if I lived alone. But anyway, I'm not complaining, I gladly do it for him cos he deserves it.


  16. Although i'm the main cook in the house, he cooks sometimes, he's an amazing cook, better than me sef, his catfish peppersoup is da bomdiggitty (Lol)


    1. Lmaooo @ da bomdiggity! Loool!
      Jenny you dinnoh answer our question o!

  17. "....thankful for a future lifetime of good food....."
    Lol! I found that phrase hilarious!
    I think I'm an amazing cook to be honest ( DH is mental for my cooking) but I think it's because we learned to cook really early, like 9 years literally, and were each individually given the duty to cook following a rooster growing up so we all got sort of competitive about who cooked the tastiest and got inventive.
    I think it is important a woman knows to do at least abit of cooking, you don't have to be a Dooney, a lil bit of home management ( which covers cooking) really does go a long way in making a woman a good home maker.
    As for the guy with the question, if, or rather, since he really loves the babe, he should just be honest with her, explaining it's because he loved her he truly wants to sign her up for the classes.
    I've got beaucoup friends who learned to cook in their husband's houses and are now really, really great cooks.
    If she is too sensitive about it then she's not really serious o.

  18. The peeps on TTB are hilarious....chei!


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