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Sticky Fingers.

I got a call this morning from my friend Amanze*. There might be trouble in paradise. Amanze thought he had found the one and this came as both a source of joy and a huge relief, as Amanze is one of these guys that really wants to settle down and start a family. His lady is indeed a nice person and everything Amanze had thought he wanted in a wife. 

However for the umpteenth time, this morning Amanze finds his wallet flatter than he left it. The first time he decided that he must have been careless and lost his cash when they went out. But barely two weeks later more cash mysteriously left his wallet. This time around there was no other explanation, they had spent the weekend together and hadn't left home at all. He still felt very uncomfortable asking her about it. Subsequently one of his designer perfumes mysteriously varnished from his room and he told himself the cleaner or one of his friends must have stolen it. Now gets to work only to find that the cash that had been in his bedside drawer meant for some office logistics is short by half, and the only person who had been in his room besides himself was Kate, he's beginning to rethink things. 

He's very confused about her, but even more pissed off at the fact that he'll have to now use his own money to replace the one that's been taken. There's hardly any point trying to explain to the boss, first off, isn't everyone meant to be cashless now? Same thing I asked him when he said he kept cash at home, but that's besides the point at the moment. 

I avoid being asked to input on matters like this. As my friend will say, nor be from my mouth you go hear say pope mouth dey smell. I believe that everyone has good and bad in them, and provided the good heavily overshadows the bad, you should stick with them.
     But what happens when someone ticks almost all your boxes, yet there's one box you didn't even have, because you never thought about it, and this one thing is too big to ignore?

Amanze loves this chic, this I know. However the issue is that stealing is too big a deal to ignore. I've heard things like she's too lazy, she's not neat, she talks too much, she nags, she doesn't know how too cook, her body count is too high, I can't trust her, she doesn't have a job, she doesn't have any ambition, etc etc etc. These are things that I think can be overlooked. But sticky fingers? Hmmm...

Amanze wants to know if this is something he can overlook? If he should confront her and hope she changes? If perhaps she might have thought it's ok to take his money without asking? Or if it's best to just walk away from the relationship now?

What would you advise him to do?


  1. Oga no vex o, but your babe is a Thief! Inormkpor!! Ole!!! Barawo!!!!. Shuo, how does one even carry something she didn't keep? How does one take what doesn't belong to them? Who will teach the children morals? Tomorrow she will graduate to your neighbor's house and steal there and you will be tagged husband of a thief. Isn't she working? Don't you support her (still not an excuse to steal anyway). Probably her problem is longer throat... she wants to live above her means and will not mind stealing to maintain the standard. don't mind my rants o, I am just angry abeg. Why didn't she ask you? So she will go to her inlaw's house and steal as well? Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.

    1. Abeg shut it. Sound like a child.

    2. Anon, Plz take it easy. She asked that we don't mind her rant as she's angry. So your taking it personal only explains one thing. #painment, #selfguilt etc.

    3. "Child" is too 'posh' for her.

      She sounds like a pikin. You must really think you wrote something intelligent.. just ranting anyhow. Nonsense and ingredients

      Nwa afikpo

    4. all these internet trolls sef..honey u need Jesus to take away the bitterness..stop bein mean!
      btw la effizy;ur comment cracked me up!
      much love from Ghana

  2. Overlook stealing? Till she visits his friends and steals from them? Better a dirty or a lazy or cant cook spouse than a thief. He should install a hidden cam in his house and make sure to set money where he can catch her in the act. Confront her and then break up. There is no overlooking a bad habit such as stealing - that person will be the carrier of many curses and insults from those she strals from

    I know someone in a similar situation. He can barely show his face in public and refusesto allow his wife visit his friends with him.

  3. Amanze has no choice, he must talk to her if he thinks she's The One. Sticky fingers can be cured.

    1. He can't talk to her without proof, like Miss Pynk said, he should install a hidden camera and catch her in the act before any confrontation. That way instead of asking him "are you calling me a thief?" she'll beg him to forgive her.

  4. U can't be complaining about it and still ask if it's something u can deal with. Doesn't work that way.
    Ask her if she took it (without sounding accusatory) and tell her to inform u next time before and after she takes.
    If you love her (which I believe love is never enough),then u wld have to either deal with it or join me in the mingles

  5. If everyone breaks up with a 'thief' ....then who marries the thief??
    Before jumping into conclusions, u best sit her down and lay it all out to her. U must hear her part. I suggest u give her another chance only if she confesses and is apologetic.
    She might have taken those things thinking whats urs is hers which is very very wrong even if u were married. Make her understand she must always ask permission 1st.
    But if she lies abt it and no Renta Ghost came into ur house to steal, then dump her by all means.

    1. What anon said..

      Really tho, how will you assume you can take someone's stuff anytime just cos u"re sleeping together or in a relationship, thats just wrong mehn..

    2. Hahaha @ Renta ghost

  6. If it was only the money part I will assume she is one of those babes that believe they should not ask permission before taking BF's money but she took perfume, a guy's perfume, that is not good.J

  7. Maybe she is a klepto.... How long have they been dating,has she been like that since day one?If she has not been like that from day one,and has not stolen from other people,Oga that means the babe just feels she should start taking her boyfriend's money as hers....Talk to her because you know her better.... TNHW

  8. The guy should have a hard talk with the lady to ascertain if she's a Kleptomaniac or just a care-free lady who believes she could take whatever belongs to her guy without prior permission. Some people believe that once they are dating you, they can take/use your things without asking irrespective of how important those things are to you.

    Once he ascertains the kind of person she is, he can then decide what to do.


  9. Thelma Nwando leave comment moderation alone. Na wa oooo

  10. U need to ask her oo n help her work through it if u really love her. Sticky fingers can be cured.

  11. Nawa!
    Well withh all d nicenes in her, it might not be intentional, talk to her and knw y he does dat, her response determines ur next action, her further atitude quite frankly determines ur further decision and actions!

  12. What has amanze been waiting for? He should have confronted her and ask about all lost valauables since 1900.
    Clear the air and see if she lies about it, then know how to resolve the situation, whether to continue with her or if she's remorseful and makes efforts not to let it happen again.
    I feel he's the one overdramatizing this situation, looking for what people around will say. What did u expect, we should applaud her 'thieffery'?

    Please resolve this straight-forward situation as swiftly as possible. And then move forward.

  13. Ask if she did it. Then ask her why.
    You may discover she's a liar and a thief.

    But hey, you may discover there's an honest explanation too.

    You just might even save her from herself.


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Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
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