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The Parents...




Have you read the "embarassing" message a Mum left her son on facebook? This particular line touched me; "I'm your mommy! I gave birth to you. Well actually, I didn't quite give birth, I had to have a C-section to get you out - big scar and hurt like hell - but that's OK... I haven't heard from you in a while and thought maybe you forgot about me? Remember all the times I've been there for you in the last 18 years of your life? I'd appreciate a quick phone call every once in a while."

It's so easy to be oblivious to or ignorant of the love, sacrifices and pain (some of) our parents have happily endured for us. 

In fact it's only when you become an adult, old enough to be a parent that you begin to grasp just a bit of the magnitude. And when you do finally become a parent, then it's an Aha moment. It's then you finally fully grasp it. The magnitude of that love. 

And because some of us still just don't get it, it's easy for us to take it for granted, especially when you're a lot younger. Remember the story about the old man that took his phone to the repair shop because his phone wasn't working? The repair man said "but sir, there's nothing wrong with your phone". Looking at the phone, befuddled, the man asks; "so why don't my children call me?"

Isn't that very heartbreaking? I have an unusually close relationship with my parents so I talk to them, like, all the time. But there are times my mum calls and perhaps I'm having a bad day, perhaps I was hoping it was one yeye boy or bae calling, perhaps I'd been expecting a call to green-light something, and then I look at the caller ID and see mummy and I answer, severe irritation evident in my voice, probably because I've answered a sigh, or with such an unenthusiastic tone to (deliberately) convey my displeasure at being disturbed...

And some times my darling mother on hearing the tone of my voice would begin with an apologetic "I'm sorry, I know I'm disturbing you, I just called to ask if....". Other times, hurt and irritated by my irritation, she'll talk coldly and make the call super brief, (seeing as I'm disturbing you). LOL. I'm sorry mummy!

And you know what's truly is sad is most times she's actually calling to ask if I want or need something. To ask if she should make me afang or egusi, or if I need to talk about something, or if I've gotten that call I've been expecting...

Parents, some parents, are just so amazing and I feel like some times we don't give them the due appreciation and gratitude. 

Ps; I said "some" parents because not all parents are great, not all are good, not all deserve to be parents... But for those simply beautiful ones, I'm shouting out to you. 


What kind of parents do you have? What is/was your relationship with them like? What's your greatest regret or pride when you think about your parents. Do share. 

Comments

  1. My mum is JESUS' side-kick. Shikena

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  2. Thelma I wish ur mum was mine. I wish I had some1 to cuddle with and talk to. Don't get me wrong, my mum is very much alive but she doesn't behave like she birthed me. She is a stranger to me. I crave motherly love so bad. I hope I get at least a great mother in law but might not happen as bae's mum is late. Oh well. I have promised myself to pour all the love I neva got into my kids. It is well jare.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amen. I have learnt that not everybody's mother has to be biological. My MIL is more of a mother to me than my biological mother

      Delete
  3. My mom means everything to me but somehow I feel I don't show it enough. I've always been the daughter who values her privacy and may rarely open up to her mom, the very opposite of my late sister. I could talk about everything, and would have have said nothing at all. Just surface talks, nothing deep. I feel I don't want to burden her with my issues due to her health problems (HBP).
    But I love her very much, God knows.

    I'm blessed with a wonderful mother-in-love too. She is indeed my mother. Funny that, the both of them behave like sisters.

    I'm assured of their constant prayers and inspired by their wisdom and generosity. I wish I can do more for them, so help me God.

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  4. I use to Have great parents until divorce tore my once happy family apart. My dad left us for a younger woman. How I cried everyday... now my mum takes care of all 4 of us, with her little salary. Life could be so unfair sometimes...

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  5. Thelma post comments or just enable auto comment. Na wa.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's funny because when you left this comment your comment was the only comment in the box to be posted. My point is, when you don't see comments don't be so quick to assume it's because I've not posted them. Sometimes there are just no comments to be posted.

      Delete
    2. *in ebenezer obey's voice* ko sona to le gba... ko siwa to le wu... ko sona to le mo... to le fi taye lorun o.

      Simply put... u can never ever please everyone!
      The robot thing made it hard for anonymous bvs to comment.. so she started enabling comments to make it easy... and i noticed more annonymous bvs shared their thoughts... now you're suggesting auto comments?!... tor! I give up! Thelma... pele o! Lol...

      Delete
    3. I forgot to sign my name

      I sign for fame and not for shame.
      But all the same, i sign my name
      Kabuoy (for anonymous 10:39pm)

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    4. @kabuoy hahaha.... Those secondary school thingy that we did. Iyanu was here..... Lol

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    5. Thelma enable auto comment naa. I'm not enjoying the restrictions o!!..
      Hop Ure good. Sorry been silent.. Busy schedule lately.. Will definitely keep up wt d blog no matter what. 'keeping up with T'. Hehehe.
      Cheers
      Shout out to all d mothers out there.. Even though not everyone might have good relationship wt theirs.. God used dem to bring us to d world. 9months no easy o!! That should be good enough reason to appreciate them.

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    6. Heheheheee... your head is there doc!

      Delete
  6. I love my mum so much that I dunno wat I will do literally if I lose her (suicide is actually an option). I don't have that for popsy(as in theres nothing there at all).
    He had his bday recently, it took a lot of strength to call and wish him HBD #whew.

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  7. I am glad I have a great mum....we are practically sisters especially given the fact that she had me quite young

    In other news, today is my baidai....lols

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    Replies
    1. Oh wow! Happy birthday darling. Many many many blessings on blessings for you I pray; a long prosperous, happy & fulfilled life. Amennnnnnn!

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    2. My favorite Favourite! Happy birthday! *kisses abs hugs*

      Kabuoy.

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    3. Happy birthday Favourite! May be bless you.

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    4. Happy birthday favourite.. Sorry it's coming late

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    5. Happy belated birthday favorite. May God make you His favorite and the favourite before men in this your new year and always. HBD

      Delete
  8. I have a good relationship with my parents. we talk about everything. My in-laws too are awesome. Just like my parents. I talk about everything with my mother-in-law. she gets me and is always so supportive. I've been blessed on both ends and I'm grateful for that.

    Have you tried the Aphogee 2 step treatment for hair breakage? I have! Read my review here

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    Replies
    1. I really need to start treating my hair better o. All of you wie just be making somebody feel guilty for buying 350 naira "top klass" shampoo. Loool. I hope my hair doesnt start falling off.

      Kabuoy

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  9. My mother! She sacrificed a lot for us. She gave up a whole. She had the opportunity to marry a wealthy man (who's currently father-in-law to a celebrity) after our dad's demise on the condition that we-her chilren would not stay under his roof but with our grandma. She chose to let him go and stuck with us. She's not literate but ensured we all got education. If not for her, I might not have been able to conceive, let alone become a mother (incredible story for another day).

    She's a pillar; she's my rock. I can go on and on.

    I pray God gives me the wherewithal to do that singular thing she craves and more.

    -F

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  10. Oh how I love my mum
    Oh how I watched her take care of my sisters and neglect me
    Oh how I watched her favour them and ridicule me
    Oh how I watched her shower love on other people even my uncles and hated me
    Oh how I convinced my self that probably she was in a bad mood
    Oh how I cried when she hurt me with her words
    Oh how I prayed for her on bended kneels
    Oh how I wish I could get more or just as much as my siblings get
    Oh I am a lady with less love in me

    Oh I am stronger than I imagine
    Oh I wish I could get more love or a little from her

    My mother
    Oh how I cherish her
    She never was patient about teaching me qsome things
    She made me feel like the slave of the family
    She made me work harder than my siblings
    She never calls, even though I call her a million times she never returns my missed calls
    She loved me once, maybe when I was in her tummy

    Does she want me to succeed
    Does she want the best for me
    Does she want me to b happy

    Oh how sad this is!!

    Ps... she isn't dead, she is alive.

    Thelma I love you

    S.O

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    Replies
    1. Honey, I just want to let you know that you are not alone. Just understand that u have a whole wonderful life ahead of you and only you can dictate how sweet that life will be. Do not let anybody and i repeat 'anybody' on this earth kill your joy. Try to stay positive, work hard to achieve your dreams.
      Our stories are similar but I'm a different person now cos I have woken up and decided to overlove myself and spoil myself with happiness. Do same hun.

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    2. I cant understand or relate to this but i'm sending a big hug ur way. *HUGS*

      Kabuoy

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    3. Like Anon 3:16pm mentioned, the one you who is mother to you needs not be your biological mother. It is clear that you hurt from being loved less by your mother, but for love to thrive, one party has to be the mature person and this maturity is not solely the obligation of the older person. Try talking with her and baring your complete feelings to her and more importantly, show her ways she can adopt to mend the broken relationship. Also, heed her expectations of you. I am asking you to be selfish here, look out for your deepest needs and perhaps, in being selfish, you might find a reason to be selfless!

      Cheers.

      Delete
  11. Sweet mother, I no go forget you, for all the suffer wey u suffer for me..

    Sweet father, I no go forget you,for all the suffer wey you suffer for me.

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  12. Is today World's Parents Day? Did I miss the memo or something?

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  13. You can choose to scroll to the next comment cuz this is gonna be really loong... lool. Uncle Chris, pls allow me! Heheheee...

    So you already know my mom calls regularly... there was a time that she she got really worried about us leaving the house early(5:30am o) and each time, she'll be tracking me to know if I caught the bus, or if iv gotten to work. it got really "annoying" so I had to get her to stop.
    So one time, she called my boss to ask if I had gotten to work. My boss (being a mommy lover) had me call and apologize for not picking her calls. He likes my mom a lot and he doesn't like her being worried or anything. Even I don't understand it. So I begged my mom to please not call him anytime she's looking for me.
    Last 3 weeks, she couldn't get through to me. My phones were dead, and she did not speak to me the day before. She was worried and trust my mom.. she called my boss. My boss could sense that she was worried so he called me and shouted at me over the phone... he was really pissed. Told me to start acting like a grown up and stop getting my mom worked up. Chai! I was so pissed... he knew I was gonna call her to rant so at the end of the call.. he went soft and told me not to be rude to her or anything like that. Omoh! I called her and went off on her o. She ended the call and didn't call me throughout the week. That was strange and I began to feel bad so I called to apologize but she didn't pick my calls(my mom is big on apologies so she expected me to send her a text) but clueless and stubborn me.. I didn't. So she came to Lagos and my grandma tried to settle whatever was going on. Told my mom to not call my boss next time and told me to apologize and hug her. But because of one simple statement("shebi I have not been calling you and I won't call your phone again") she made, I totally refused to hug her. She was obviously still pissed but clueless me again, I took it personal, and just knelt down and apologized.
    Mehn!!! It hurt her soooo much... ha! I didn't even know the extent to which it did... she was sooo hurt... She kept it to herself. me I just continued as if.. well.. iv apologized. Whatever! Few days later, I had a dream that she was reporting me to someone and she was in tears. Like she was really hurt. That was enough! I called her to apologize.. but I knew I had to do something extra cuz she was really hurt.
    To cut this very looong story short, thank God for Sunshine and my dad, I was holding on to the fact that I apologized, she was still hurting from me totally refusing to hug her(that thing really hurt her)...
    Twas a really long month... I didn't have peace until I settled with her.

    My greatest regret is not showing them how much I love them. I let silly and mundane things get in the way of that and it's just crazy!
    My greatest pride is that they love me and they show it in every way you can imagine. My dad can like to be forming tough at times but he really is a softie when it comes to us...
    We have a very healthy relationship... i'm who I am today because one way or the other, the relationship I have with them(especially my mom) has kept me in check... I just won't do some things because I don't want to hurt my mom. Makes me remember John 14 v 15: "if you love me, you'll keep my commandments. That verse makes too much sense to me.
    If you got here.... i have to ask.... "how did you did it?" *in falz's voice*

    Kabuoy.

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    Replies
    1. Awwn,kabuoy...*wipes lone tear*
      These things happen,we just have to farabale sometimes.

      Delete
    2. I did it cuz it was written by Kabuoy. Great story!

      Love my mum, it took her three days of labour. Because of my big head and wrong stitching, for two days she was completely drained trying to eject me to life. Took the wisdom of a fortunately present foreign doctor at the end of the second day to recommend caesaran for me to be birthed. Through growing up, she has served as a compass guiding me with my decisions, compelling me to take certain steps and also listening to me. I remember her pleading with me to take SSCE exams in my SS2 class which I reluctantly did, surprisingly I didn't make all my papers with my SSCE in SS3 (F9 in English) and just because I had some papers from my SS2 exams, I was able to secure admission with two sittings. Growing up, I tended to be aggressive, sometimes unyielding, a bit-selfish and many more undesirables, mum did a good job in ensuring that I become a responsible member of the society and that job she did with love.

      Love my Dad, his short and witty statements were the pillars I built my life upon. The importance of books and much more, daily learning were values he ensured I recognized early in life. We differ in our viewpoints on some life issues but respect, love, value, care are qualities that describe how I feel about him. I remember once in my younger years when I loved food, upon eating my loaf of bread for breakfast, I had to go buy another loaf for my sister who hadn't eaten. Since I was still hungry, I decided to share the loaf into two unequal parts and take the larger share (since I was older), I remember my sister complaining to dad that her share of the loaf was minuscule and my dad asking if I had shared it equally, I responded with a yes and he asked me again and I said another yes. He responded by saying that I should switch my portion with my sister's since the loaves were equally shared (a blind man would have seen how unequal the sharing was). That moment changed my view on fairness to all and also sparked the thirst for wisdom.

      I hope that I'd live a life that pleases them. Thank you Dad, Thank you Mum.

      PS: Kabuoy, you don't get the right to leave the longest comment!

      Delete
  14. So I love my parents like crazy...they are my first real love n priority in life aside Elohim..they show me soo much love,,,it looks like they are living for me... I am the closest to them of my siblings,,maybe because am the last born..I know my dad will give his life for me if need be and my mum will do all within her reach to keep me smiling.. I love my parents soo much sometimes I cry..I can write an epistle on our relationship,,you know..I love them silly n they know it..

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    Replies
    1. My dear, writing an epistle on someone you love (like Kabuoy did) won't do them justice. Sometimes words can't completely describe all the sacrifices they made just to see you achieve You. That's why I just said what I said up there. Finish. Lol.

      Delete
    2. Lmaooo @ memphis... this was recent nah! It's not even up to 2 weeks sef! Looool! That's why I thought to share! Lool! *tongue out*

      Delete
  15. Almost everyone talked about their mothers, what about the fathers?

    Anyway my MOTHER is EVERYTHING to me and MORE (but she can ignore someone for africa if you hurt her badly) and my dad will remain my dad forever.

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  16. I had a fab relationship with my late father .. He used to call all his kids everyday (even though at odd hours like 2am cos of the nature of his job) he was always so busy but still made time for family... that's why when all these young men start forming too busy to call I tell the babes to forget them,after all they take lunch breaks and use the bathroom! Being a parent myself has taught me the true meaning of love and patience ..

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  17. My mum is simply amazing, the best mum in d world she is even though we are like cat and rats but we have a very good relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  18. i feel fathers are not appreciated enough most times... Yes, my mum carried me for 9 months, but my dad stuck around even when he could have bolted.. my mum took care of me, fed me , bathed me, read to me and helped me with my homework and etc, but my dad left the house EVERY SINGLE DAY to make sure i had food to eat and a bed to sleep on, made sure water was running and there was electricity to have a hot bath (rme @ PHCN), and struggled to make sure i had a good education and books to read..
    i remember stories my dad tells me of times he had to sell off his possessions to pay my fees, and mehhnnn.. being a father is not beans..
    kudos to all the men that could have done what was convenient and bailed but chose to stick around and make sure their kids are the best they can be..
    summary of all my talk be say, my parents make the best team....
    God bless them for me
    (feeling terrible because i ran off to work without making breakfast for my dad this morning)

    WIA IS RUTHY OOOOOOOO????

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where's the like button when you need it?

      Delete

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