My name is Raymond; I am from South South, Bayelsa State to be precise. I am in my mid 30s, working with one of the branches of United Bank for Africa (UBA) in Aba, Abia State.
I was involved in a ghastly auto crash a few years back on my way home from the east for christmas celebration. We were between life and death before God eventually sent a duex mechina to our rescue.
The incident damaged my reproductive system. The doctor declared me impotent ever since then. I met a girl in 2008 who came from one of the private institutions in southeast for her 6 months internship. One thing led to another, we both fell in love with each other and that was how the journey started.
During our first date, she told me she was a virgin and I promised her ‘no pre-marital sex.’
Four years down the line, we are still on. The parents are aware of our relationship. In fact, I just declared my intention of walking her down the aisle in December, but the question is that how would she feel when she discovers that I’m IMPOTENT? I dont want to lose her’
Please if you're dating or married to a man with certain erectile dysfunctions, impotence for instance, can you tell us how you both work around it, how you have coped so far and if it affects your relationship, and your happiness. Thanks.
Let me begin by saying that I really empathize with the poster for the accident and particularly having his reproductive system damaged. That's very unfortunate.
People who say "be weary of men who too readily accept the 'no sex till marriage' rule", are on to something. I've heard only too many times about people who painfully regretted that decision not to test the ride before the purchase. Please I'm not trying to pervert God's words, merely stating that it's a huge risk to take, and some people willingly agree to it for their own very selfish and wicked reasons.
But that's really not the issue now... I read this feeing very angry with this brother for leading this girl on for four years knowing fully well that he does not have a functioning penis. He's not just sterile, he is impotent! And no, I don't believe he loves the sister. But hey, the sister obviously loves him and I'm putting myself in her shoes. If a man I really truly love and am about to get married to after a 4-year relationship, tells me that he's impotent before the wedding, would I still get married to him?
To be honest, I don't know. I think sex is way toooooooooo important. I mean, even if there are medical methods of getting me pregnant, my life would still be very incomplete without sex from my husband. And I honestly don't think I can settle for a life time of average sex, much less no sex. Sex has got to be the bomb! Omo, I might sound shallow right now but I honestly don't know if love can conquer this. Yet, the thought of throwing four years away just because of sex, hmmm, is it worth it; worth losing four years for...? That's another thing to consider.
He's asking how she will feel when she discovers that he's impotent. Please can you answer him, how would you feel in her shoes. But more importantly, what would you do? Can love conquer impotence?
Photo source: www.blackloveadvice.com. Mail Culled from: DailyPost