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11 Naija Wives, On What They Never Expected In Marriage.

One afternoon I bumped into Tina at the salon. The Tina that sat beside me was different from the Tina I knew a few years back. She was the big sister of my friend whom we all envied; her bank job, her nice clothes, her vibrant social life with the absence of a curfew, the flashy cars that used to come pick her up in the evenings, her expensive high-end make up, her shapely body and her nicely done hair which she did only at Downtown or Make Me. The Tina that sat beside me was a portly matronly woman; her nose seemed to have doubled in size, perhaps it DIDNT always return to the pre-pregancy size, her tired sunken eyes seemed to be dragged down by the heavy bags underneath them, her skin seemed much darker and sallow, and her once bouncy hair had thinned tremendously. 

I smiled and acted normal to hide my surprise. We got talking about husbands and marriage when she said to me; no matter how you watch or test a man there is no guarantee. Marriage is like a gift. You can never know what is inside unless you unwrap it. I was tempted to ask her if hers had turned out to be more of a curse than a gift thus her gaunt exterior....

Earlier today my friend, out of boredom, googled herself. She was surprised to see a tweet from 2010. The tweet read; it would make all my dreams come true if you agree to go on just one date with me. She retweeted and did something like roll her eyes and shrug the smitten chyker off. It was something that was very long forgotten. In fact she's even forgotten that once upon a time she and her husband were on Twitter and used to 'tweet-flirt'. Reading those tweets she found on Google, It seemed like several lifetimes ago. 
       Now, three years of marriage and three children later, she read the tweet and bemusedly tried to reconcile it with present reality. She rushed to show her husband the tweet; Look o! Remember when you were begging me for just one date? Do you remember when just one date with me made all your dreams come true? We all had a good laugh, life can be very funny sha. 

I just saw the below on and thought to share, eleven women on challenges they never expected to face in marriage. 

married, having kids and having a career is serious work! Enjoy your spinsterhood while it lasts – if you are single.


I didn’t understand how your freedom dies when you get married. I no longer take decisions on my own – where to go, what to eat – anything! It’s now about “all of us” and “we”


Being dis-virgined on my wedding night was hell. Thought it would be amazing. Well it got interesting after that…


I thought love would grow with my husband, it didn’t. I dread him touching me, there’s no love, no chemistry, no intimacy. It’s been frustrating. Please be attracted to whoever you want to get married to.


I never thought Mills and Boons novels were lying to me all those years! Marriage is not a bed of roses!


Love needs to be nurtured otherwise it dies. I discovered that little actions are what make love thrive. Once I neglect the little things, the joy and love slowly reduces


The first few years were harder than I expected. We fought, were hurt, but forgave each other. Once we adapted to each other, it became beautiful. You need to stay strong and be patient.


I married not only him, but his whole family! I practically inherited everything – the obligations, stresses and benefits. They are great anyway- just a little nosy


I’m not always wildly attracted to him. When we were single it was so intense now we have cooled down (laughs). But our love is more grounded and solid now.


Having a life before marriage is very important. I think I got married too early. I should have waited a bit longer. I love my kids but at 37, I feel like I buried my potentials and dreams for marriage. I love my kids though.


He still doesn’t like going to church. I though getting married would change that.


Reading this was fascinating yes? What do you think about it all? And our married brothers and sisters in the house, share with us the things you had never expected in marriage. Share with us the surprises and lessons; both the pleasant, the not-so-pleasant and the totally unimagined!


  1. Hmmmmmmmm marriage marriage marriage, okay let the married ones come and talk so we can learn plss. Thelma sweetie plss where is beautiful phransee?

  2. Hi Thelma.I always love reading ur post but I never comment maybe because I always get lazy going through Internet to post a comment.I had to write to you today because much as I love reading from you,I am worried about u travel by air so frequently,hanging out late at night.I get worried for you and I realise that maybe because u have so much freedom to do whatever you want to do.Pls just limit ur travels and hanging out ,especially very late at night.From a concerned reader.Have a beautiful weekend.

    1. I see your point Buggie. I think so too.

    2. Hi Buggie, I'm touched by your concern. I think I go out as much as I do because the locations are relatively safe, even though I don't think I go out 'that' much.
      On travelling; someone said "if God didn't want us to move around He would have given us roots, not legs". However I'm not oblivious to the risks, and daily I commit my ways to Him. I do this and because I have faith I believe that He is always with me and that Ps91 & 121 avail me. But I do see your point and I've already made a decision to limit the travelling. Thanks a lot Buggie, have a beautiful weekend too!

  3. The main thing for me post marriage is to remember to need my husband. Being a fiercely independent spirit...that adjustment didn't come very easily...if i don't need him staying married will be a challenge. Other than that, i didnt have any lofty aspirations on romance...for me friendship is a big deal

    Many times with Nigerian marriages...we often rush to pop babies and then 3 years into the marriage and 4 kids later we realise we never really had time with our spouses don't leave the house for a minimum 10 years - if you are brave enough to send them to boarding school.

  4. Cooking all the time. I don't have a choice. I've got a family to feed. I love cooking, just that it's tiring when you have kids with almost zero appetite. I guess they took after me.

    Your time. Wherever I go, I'm always mindful of the time. Less or no hanging out with friends.

    Managing career and family was 'wonderful'. Thanks to my mum who was there too asides my nanny. Yet, it wasn't so easy.

    Bye bye to freewill. Your actions are controlled by the fact that you're married and expected to behave in a particular way. To act otherwise will be disrespect to hubby. I also have to plan my sleep. Thanks to my hyper-active children.

    Nevertheless, marriage is beautiful when you have a friend as a spouse. I wouldn't trade my family for another. Tolerance, patience and understanding has a lot to play. When you have this, love becomes easy.

  5. Thelma... I didn't know ur mum (buggie) was a blog reader too... *rolling my eyes @ that comment*

    1. Hehe, I'll even encourage Thelma to travel more !!! I love travelling! The world is too big and too beautiful to be stuck to one location. T please extend ur wings and fly !!!

    2. Lamao @buggie being Thelma's Mum. Thelms ur readers ehhmmmmm. Okay now

  6. So I woke up to bbm updates from an ex colleague, I pinged to say hi and then we started chatting.
    Surely the talk about marriage popped up and in my ENTIRELY life, I have never felt the burden of my single status. but whilst she prayed for me, I got so overwhelmed with emotion and cried for the time, after realising that I am actually still single while all my friends except one are married. looool.
    God's time is actually the best cos I know with him I'm surely gonna end up with the best.#patientlywaiting.

    Friendship,Love and Marriage are all beautiful.I have experienced 2 outta 3 tho.

  7. Let me smile and just read the comments.


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Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.