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5 Lessons I Learnt From My Last Relationship.





Hey guys, so I got to thinking about the past and I realized that even though it burnt like hell, it taught me some lessons too. I'll share five of them with you. 


1. It's cliche yet it can never be overstated; when someone shows you who they are, believe them. Sometimes they not only show us, they even tell us yet we choose to play deaf. I remember my ex telling me; after that relationship I turned into a beast and I'm still a beast. Yet I stayed there, thinking oh, he doesn't know what he's saying. Lol. Quit living in denial.

2. Read the signs that are there and stop expecting divine, supernatural signs. We often refuse to see the signs and red flags even when they're flashing in bright neon lights, then we tell God, "show me a sign that he's the one". Dude is showing you ten signs that he's not the one yet you're waiting for a six-winged angel to come from above and show you the way. 
He doesn't call often or think it's important to check up on you,
he doesn't care when other guys call you, 
he never inconveniences himself, or goes out of his way for you, 
you're never a priority, 
it takes him hours to respond to your texts, 
he doesn't care about your past or your plans for the future, 
his eyes glaze over when you're trying to share your experiences with him
He has no interest in knowing your friends and/or your family or letting you know his... 
Yet you're waiting for God to show you a sign. Nne, heaven helps those who help themselves.

3. A domestic goddess does not a wife make. So feel free to cook three course meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, get on all fours and scrub his bathroom, wash his skid-marked boxers with your hands. If you're not the one, you are not the one. 

4. Never compromise on your values and morals for someone else. Relationships are all about making compromises but there are things you should never have to compromise on. Someone who truly loves you would value, or at least respect the principles you've set for yourself.

5. You are not the exception. Most of us make this mistake, maybe because Barney told us that we're special. Unfortunately we are not that special. You're dating a confirmed serial-monogamist/liar/cheat/abuser/commitment-phobe but you think you are the one whom he'll treat differently, be faithful to, commit to, change for... Err, chances are you are not. Yes, there are exceptions to every rule, but forget what they told you about positive thinking, you are not the exception. And in the very rare event that you are, well now, isn't that a pleasant surprise? 

“We're taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side. Not in this case. In this case, assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's liberating. 
― Greg Behrendt


***
So guys, experience is a good teacher. We've all had those relationships, or parts of relationships, that leave/left us scarred. But on the bright side, when we're done smarting from the pain we're left with lessons. What have you learnt from your experiences in your relationships? 

And oh, that pic above, my exact words when that relationship came to an end; 'darling, you fucked' up... 

Comments

  1. One great lesson, never show a guy u can't live without him,never show him u love him too much even though u do,once a guy knows this,ohhh their Almighty freaking ego gets in the way.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. But you know how difficult that is. Advice sometimes are easier said...

      Things that matter to the heart pretty much matters to the heart and it takes years of practical experience to even go against the heart, even then, That's not even guaranteed.

      Delete
    2. Uyi Darling, I totally agree with you, no matter how hard we all know it is,me am really trying biko,I can't allow someone to play table tennis with my heart. We just need to try and my experience each day is helping me.

      Delete
    3. Yes m wi Uyi on that. So true!

      Delete
    4. So true I'm in that shoes right now

      Delete
  2. Fuck relationships....I'm literally a philophobe... I start liking someone n I just get all shades of confused...not to mention extremely paranoid.. I'd honestly rather just stick to what i know... NSA... No emotions, no expectations, no disappointments.. No drama...and everyone is a winner....

    ReplyDelete
  3. Haha.. Those signs ring like alarm clock oh you know. But every single point of yours is true and it makes one on their guard, sometimes i feel that we as females should update our dating standards if they dont meet up next. but once you are in your thirties your dating pool is smaller and you decide to "Enter one chance". If you are not the one, you are not the one, Thanks for sharing

    Nne,I dont know if you realized that you got tagged on my blog.
    http://roseofsharonwrites.blogspot.com/2015/10/blog-award-from-sharon-salu-sisterhood.html

    ReplyDelete
  4. He went....baby I don't deserve you....i heard him but I didn't listen....oh the 'headiness' of love.

    In retrospect, I should have really listened as unfolding events showed me clearly that he really didn't deserve me.

    Uyi does have a valid point though.....Past experiences be damned the heart hardly ever learns....the heart wants what it wants.....guess one should strive to balance it up by using your head too

    ReplyDelete
  5. Its been a while. Weldone everyone.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Dear Thelma, it looks like some men have showed you small pepper. To this I say pele. Its not their fault but its also their fault. Every man passes through a period of immaturity and during that period they say and do harsh things with nonchalant attitude. Im sure when some of them look back they would say to themselves "that really wasnt necessary"

    But its life. It made you stronger.

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ...to read the handwriting on the wall as soon as the first letter is being put down; not the second letter. #Punintended

    ReplyDelete
  8. Your first point is the absolute TRUTH!!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wen someone is bold enough to walk out of your life irrespective of how u feel there is no coming back No second chance

    ReplyDelete
  10. I will bookmark this page. Thanks for sharing this important information.http://www.onlinetherapy.io/

    ReplyDelete

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