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A Walk Through My Heart. 2015.





Everything is beautiful. The air is light and fresh and bright, it's clear. Everything is clear, my vision is clear, the vision is clear. I know without a doubt where I'm going, it's not here but I can feel it, damn, I can see it! I'm walking on sunshine, permanent residence; cloud nine. I know there's a whirlwind outside but you can't tell me nothing, I'm golden, invincible, untouchable, I'm excitable. Excited about it all, the present, the future, the prospects, the possibilities. I'm headed for the stars. And then I blink but it seems not to end, that shut eye that naturally lasts a nanosecond seems eternal. I'm not sure if my eyes are still shut or now open into a blanket of darkness because suddenly my sunshine turned into a dark cloud and I cannot see beyond it. Suddenly I'm not sure who I am, where I am and where I'm going. I feel like the moving train came to an abrupt halt and I'm hanging in limbo. Suddenly clarity fades to doubt, uncertainty and confusion. I feel lost. I try to talk about it but there's no one to tell, nobody would understand anyways. I know I possess powers; gifts, skills, talents, passion and promise. Yet suddenly none of it seems to matter, or even exist. I hear horns tooting behind me, asking my train to move, to get out the way. I try and I try and it stays stuck, in limbo. I look out the windows and I see others flying passed, colorful trains moving at such speed that they turn into planes and reach for the sky. I try and try but it seems I'm stuck in an unending moment...

So I said to God; what is Your plan for me? Because there are those times I just feel so invisible, hard to believe I've once felt invincible. Those times I feel so small, like a tiny spec, fighting to be seen. At these times I look to God and I ask; what is Your plan? You've got a plan, yes? That cocoon has become too tiny for this body, when do you break me out of it and let me fly? What's Your grand plan? You have the blueprint, You've built the foundation, You are the foundation. 

You ARE the foundation! 

Suddenly a ray of light tears through the bleakness around me. I'm reminded, You are my foundation, my rock, the sturdy rock on which my life is built. You will not, can not, fail nor disappoint me. This I know. 
     So even though it may not feel like it, even though it may not look like it, I am aware that because I have a solid foundation, my life right now, just like an incomplete building, might be unattractive, incomplete and senseless to the ordinary eye. But the architect always know, the beauty that would arise from those mounds of ugly dirty bricks. My architect knows, the plans He has for me.  

For this and all else, I'm filled with immense gratitude.


***
Guys, in a sentence or two, summarize your 2015 so far. How has it been? Is it the fantastic year you anticipated? Has it dealt you some unexpected blows? Has it brought you pleasant surprises or doled a few disappointments? Let's talk about your 2015 so far and your expectations for the next few months.   


Comments

  1. I'm still optimistic about the year... I don't know what to say about it so far.

    I'm glad I'm where I am right now, though I'm swiftly heading somewhere, not many are privileged to be here. In fact, some would kill to be in my position so I'm grateful to God for that.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am would comment because you mentioned my name above, lol

    Tee you remember some time last year when I asked what God's plan for is or If I was just a part of some big plan? Well I am sure you know your train is just like the 'Bombardier' series if it was a plane.

    Tee the vision is for an appointed time and yours will definitely end in praise, nothing missing/nothing cut short.

    My 2015 so far has been blissful, a lot of triumph and life lessons, few disappointments, so many open laughter, more money, achieved milestones, lost job- greater job ahead, no love lost just maybe a love has been found, just maybe. "For this and all else"...YAWEH still I stand, faithful is he who promised(psalm 34:5) and shall make the rest part of the year even more beautiful.

    Counsel... greater is the end of the matter than the beginning thereof.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yea it did bring a pleasant surprise as I finally got I have been asking for. And I am grateful for it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hi thelma and blog visitors,first time commenting here,I must say kudos thelma. My 2015 has been gr8,though there were times I went through trials,cried my eyes out but God came through 4 me and am thankful to him,though have been single 4 sometime,its hurts sometimes when I see those who have boyfriends,but when I remember the painful past,am grateful I walked away and am believing on God 4 d right person and look forward to a greater 2016.

    Mz indomie says so.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I crossed over to 2015 in a *not so good mood, really wasn't happy and lively ... have fallen I'll twice as much this year than in the past maybe, 5yrs. But I think I'm really happy now, very few things bother me. I'm thankful for the many things God has done for my family, my friends and I and I know it's only going to get better(for me and every good person).

    ReplyDelete
  6. *breathes* 2015! Highs.. lows... PRESSURE! fear.. anxiety... calm... it has been a roller coaster! But all in all... God has been(still is) faithful and I've learnt to totally trust and depend on him.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I recall the night of 31st December 2014. I was on my way to Church when my car suddenly started overheating. I parked and called the 're-wire' who had worked on it earlier and changed the alternator. I was tempted to go back home after waiting for almost an hour but the need to talk to God about some important issues kept my resolve to attend the cross over service. 'Re-wire' came but announced the alternator was burned beyond repair....oh no! He gave me his car which was all shades of bad - no full light, very hard-to-control steering wheel (at a point, it took the combined efforts of mine and my cousin's to make a u-turn) not to talk about the radio and AC which were not working. As if that wasn't punishment enough, the traffic was terrible! 2015 met me on the road. I felt like I missed an opportunity-a good opportunity to lay my case before God in His house (don't know what made me think I couldn't do this at home. I thought I just needed that closeness-to-God feeling a good Church gives). I sobbed; I cussed; I nagged and because I was a worker in Church (and still is), I asked my Pastor to excuse me from attending Church services henceforth; I would look for another Church closer to my house. Of course he admonished me and tried to console me, reminding me God's promises for me in the new year. I was inconsolable throughout because I felt I missed a golden chance to turn my life around in 2015.

    I thought wrongly because this year has been far better than the last 3 years. I got a pay rise; had the opportunity to take my kids to Dubai and won a good account for my Company. Also, it is in this year that God gave me a chance at reconciling with my Husband whom I almost divorced.

    This is me sharing my testimonies.

    It has not been all bed of roses and I am still not where I should be but I am not in a bad place and I have decided to concentrate on the good and beautiful and look towards tomorrow which by His grace, will be better than yesterday.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  8. 2015....where do i start?

    I was jobless for the 1st quarter of the year and then got a job that takes away all my time (i work public holidays, weekends etc)..... I am NOT where i want to be career-wise, and as much as i am making plans to better myself professionally (start my M.sc and do some certifications), the funds needed for all that don't seem to be forth coming, and then my 'blessed' job keeps me in the office mondays to saturdays 8am - 5.30pm (how awesome innit?!!)...I really just feel sad, lost and depressed half of the times.

    I cried a lot in 2015, because i felt i had moved a 100 steps backward...... I don't know what to expect in the remaining 3 months, as holding on is quite difficult for me now, but i know i will end this year with a testimony.

    p.s - sorry this is more than a sentence or two....lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Spontaneous - Surprising - Embarrassing - Huge Turn Around - Blissful.

    ReplyDelete
  10. My 2015 has been filled with surprises. Good and bad ones. Some unbelievable bad ones, but i wouldn't trade my 2015 for someone else's because i know the universe is rigged to favour me.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank God for Everything!!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Still looking forward to a more blissful year, it's been wonderful so far and I'm grateful to God for where I am today,things I have learnt and the people I have met.. If I get posted to the law school of my choice,it will crown it all.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I started this year with huge plans, I had 3 major things I wanted God to help me with, I tried my hand at one earlier in the year, it didnt pan out as I expected and I got really discouraged. The other two seem so hard/impossible but I know they aren't. I hope I get at least 2 of them done before the year ends. Besides that tho, the year has been very good.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Through God's Grace, my 2015 has been beautiful and blessed and I trust that the remaining 3 months and beyond would even be more beautiful and blessed!! Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  15. 2015? It's both frustrating and disappointing and the remaining three months doesn't look like it'll be any better. It should just hurry up and finish let's usher in 2016, maybe it'll be better than this year.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Started the year mourning,depressed,suicidal(more like not just waking up). 2 months in, God gave me a job with a pay I almost had a heart attack when I got my letter,beyond amazing. Job started keeping me off church, friends, fun,work is bae at the moment as it occupies almost all my time. Just to make myself better, Got myself a ride in the 5th month but deep down,have been troubled and its been mixed feelings....hoping for better months before the year ends

    ReplyDelete

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