Yesterday evening I had to meet up with a friend to collect some documents I'd left with him to sign. He had a meeting slated for 7 at The Palms so I decided to meet up with him there. He was rounding up just as I got there. Formalities out of the way, he began to ask me about work and business and all of that stuff and I was dutifully answering his questions when he cut in with "Can I at least look at your eyes while you talk?".
Haha! I couldn't look him in the eyes, I didn't know why but I'd hoped he wouldn't notice. Smiling, I made eye contact and tried to hold his gaze while I talked but I failed miserably. I know there are no feelings left anymore but maybe I was scared if he saw my eyes he would see into my soul and read my thoughts. Would he hear the wistful What ifs? and that crazy voice screaming I wanna have your babies!...? No, I couldn't look at him so I stared straight ahead while I talked about work and family and other mundanities.
I knew I would get into some traffic if I tried to leave just then so I decided to watch a movie. I'd been looking forward to it really; enjoying the movie in solitude and unashamedly muttering to myself intermittently. Alas, broda said he would like to join me.
I laid back while he went to get the tickets and our snacks and when we walked into the theatre, he stood back to allow me go ahead of him. He's always been gentlemanly, that one. So no surprises there when my sniveling nose wouldn't stop running and he ran his hands over my shoulders to keep me warm, that didn't help much so a few minutes later he took off his jacket and draped it over my shoulders. Rom-com stuff but he'd always been a rom-com kinda guy.
Halfway through, the whole place went dark as the screen went blank and someone came to apologize about some technical issues, they apologized and promised the movie would be back on in ten minutes. "Bloody hell" we cursed at the same time, and then both said "Jinx" and burst into laughter. The laughter abated into happy sighs as we both sank back into our seats, content smiles on our faces.
"Doesn't this remind you of old times?" He asked, literally reading my mind.
I chuckled, I wouldn't admit that it did.
"Nope", I lied, swearing we never went to the movies together. We both knew that was a lame lie so he began to remind me of movies we saw together when we were still together, here at The Palms. Thankfully before could walk too far into memory lane, the sharp light of the movie rudely intruded, shocking us back to the present, to reality, to our present reality; that me being me I turned away one of the best men I've ever known, and he being him, after recovering from a broken heart, was soon snagged by his present belle. Belle... He used to call me belle... Stop it Nwando.
It was the Friday night FNLP and I went clubbing where we bumped into him that I first truly regretted letting him go. She kept asking me "Thelma, how could you? Why did you? He's soooo (cute/nice/perfect/FUCKING AWESOME?)"
Oh well, there's always that one that got away...
Do you have one a "the one that got away"? Tell us about him or her? Why did you let them go? Do you regret letting them go? Do you think you could still have a future with them?
Speaking of the future, I believe that even someone without a ring is not fair game. I mean, if you're in a relationship I would respect that. But that's just me. What do you think; do you believe that when it comes to your happiness you sometimes need to be selfish and do what's best for you, damning all else? Have you ever had to do this; put yourself first eventhough it (possibly) hurt someone else, either in your love life, your career or at your workplace?
Do you believe that sometimes in life you just need to be selfish and do what's best for you? Let's talk about it.