I had no intention of going out last night so when Ahmed called me a few minutes after 10pm, just when I was shimmying into my nightie, I was certain I would respond in the negative. However it occurred to me that I haven't been out in a while and I didn't feel sleepy either ways, so I asked him to come and get me.
We argued a little about where to start our night; BLD, Churasco or "local". His friends at Churasco weren't going to be there for long so we headed there.
It was really nice; the conversation, the company, the food and the ambience. Ahmed is someone I'm very veeryyyy comfortable with. He's been asking me out for some time but we do very well as friends plus there's that tribe+religion factor...
So, of all his friends there last night, the most mature and reserved was one whom he referred to as his Egbon. I wasn't quite sure what to make of him, his distinguished grey beards revealed he must be in his late 40s or older. He didn't say much, seemed more of an observer than a talker. The first time he spoke was when Ahmed asked him about work and his eyes immediately lit up.
"Oh I just took a little break but I'm going back on Tuesday. Work is fine, we just opened three more plants and things are going very well"
I gathered that this quiet man, didn't just work but owned some major corporation.
Earlier on in the day, sasha boné and I talked about some of our career goals and did some evaluation. I said to her that I needed do much more and be much more, not for today but for tomorrow. I love my comfort and I think luxury is sometimes a necessity, yet in the scheme of things my personal needs are secondary. One major driving factor is my kids. Growing up with not very much, I strongly desire to give them the best education (and life) they could have, they're the major reason I hustle now.
I don't know about you but I want to get ahead. I NEED to get ahead. So when I heard what this man does and who he is, I immediately joined the conversation and re-introduced myself. He turned his attention to me and we began to chat. I told him that coincidentally I would be visiting his town the same day he said he's heading there and I'd always wondered what it would be like to live there. But more importantly "ARE YOU HIRING???" He chuckled and joked about me looking too expensive for their salary and them not needing lawyers at the moment.
Unabashed, I began to pitch myself, as a lawyer and then as an individual. I pointed out that I'm very versatile and quite frankly I'm open to possibilities as I've never intended to restrict myself to the legal sector. I noticed Ahmed shuffling in his seat but to be honest, I wasn't sure why and I didn't believe it could have anything to do with me.
When our conversation was winding down I wanted to hand him my card but I thought i shouldn't, out of respect for Ahmed. So I told him to remember my name because I'll get his number from Ahmed and I'll be in touch.
Egbon soon left and I was left with a stiff Ahmed, he had turned cold. When I was eventually able to pry the reason for his sombreness from his clenched jaw, I was told that I'd disrespected him. He said I was too forward and I just sidelined him and made him look insignificant. He said I should have talked to him and he would have talked to his Egbon for me, instead of speaking to him directly.
I'm sorry but if people who promise(d) to talk to people for me actually do so, I'd be earning seven figures right now...
I'm not not quite sure what to think, it was fun and drinks on a Friday night and everyone was talking to everyone, so what's Ahmed's problem? I've looked at things through his eyes. I wonder if his muslim/northern background might make him prefer his women to be more demure? I wonder if grabbing an unusual opportunity with someone I may never again be privileged to meet was indeed disrespectful simply because I spoke to them directly? Or perhaps Ahmed is simply overreacting or a bit insecure?
I'll hash things out with Ahmed but let's talk about you. In the order of preference, which is more important to you?
Job security/career advancement
Eternal life (Salvation).