Skip to main content

Dear Thelma... (To Damn The Consequences Or Not?)

Thelma dear, I am one of your silent readers. I'll go straight to the point. I've been married for three years with 2 sons whom I love to the moon. My husband stays in France, and comes home 3 times in a year. My problem is that at any slightest provocation, he'll threaten to send me packing, Its almost as though he is doing me a favour by marrying me. The worst is dat once we have a little argument, he will start calling all the members of my family to lay complaints. Most times, I feel he is being insecure cos he always says that I disobey him because am more educated than he is, but that is not true, I accord him every respect as my husband irrespective of his academic status. 
We had a heated argument last night and again, he said I should pick my things and leave his house. Aside from this, my husband is a very nice person and I love him dearly. My question to the blog family is, do I continue to overlook this, and patch things up like I've always done, or do I damn the consequences and go away just to prove a point, that am not afraid of losing him, and that he isn't doing me a favour.


  1. Dear Poster, sorry you've not explained enough for me/us to give any reasonable advice. I'm not saying you're not in considerable pain for you not to decide on a reasonable option, but you know that it's pretty difficult for semi-educated people expressing how they feel and acting as normally expected. You've not said anything about cheating, lack of family care and maintenance, or domestic violence, just threat of separation and washing of dirty linen in public. Unless I/we know more...

  2. He is immature. Isn't marriage forever? So why does he keep threatening you to leave? Apart from caring for your sons, do you contribute meaningfully to your home? If he values you and if also you are a major shareholder in your home ( not only through material things) he will be afraid to lose you. He won't keep asking you to leave. All the best.

  3. Eya! Why not talk to him about the threats. Tell him everything u just told us and ur frustrations abt them , hear his response and also watch what happens b4 u can go ahead to make any decision u don't wana regret.
    I know how talking to loved ones can genuinely change dem.

  4. That's how a cousin of mine left her house because her hubby told her to leave and he never called her back, like play like joke like film trick, marriage ended. Proceed with cautiom

  5. He visits 3 times in a year right? He will soon leave so.....pick your fights wisely. When you guys are in a good mood tell him how his words make you feel, ask him how he will feel if you take his words seriously and leave. J

    1. My words, your fingers. Poster listen to J

  6. When next he asks you to leave 'his' house, tell him expressly that you ain't going no where, 'cos it's your house as much as his. Babe, possess your possessions. Make him realise that 2 have become one and what is urs is his and vice versa. Maybe he still somehow believes that he is a bachelor or 'married living single'. It's your home too and his people have become your people. Eradicate this defeatist mentality. He'll soon enough realise that his threats are out-dated... I've said my piece. Now, Peace to your home...SBHM

  7. And concerning always reporting to your family, he doe that because they give him a listening ear. Your parents or even siblings should sit him down and advice him to man up and settle his differences with you in house. That they give ears to his 'constant complaints' give me the feeling that he 'butter's' your family members' bread.

  8. COMMUNICATION is the key to any successful relationship, whether intimate or platonic. You know your hubby better than we do, let him calm down first from d heated argument of ystdy n afterwards tell him everytin you wrote up dere. His reaction afterwards would let u knw your next line of action. Goodluck babes.

  9. Hehehehe....I like that 'possess your possession' part in SBHM post.

    Poster once he brings up the leave my house talk,tell him it is 'our house' and if one person is to leave the other is also going.....shikena


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.