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Dear Thelma... (To Damn The Consequences Or Not?)





Thelma dear, I am one of your silent readers. I'll go straight to the point. I've been married for three years with 2 sons whom I love to the moon. My husband stays in France, and comes home 3 times in a year. My problem is that at any slightest provocation, he'll threaten to send me packing, Its almost as though he is doing me a favour by marrying me. The worst is dat once we have a little argument, he will start calling all the members of my family to lay complaints. Most times, I feel he is being insecure cos he always says that I disobey him because am more educated than he is, but that is not true, I accord him every respect as my husband irrespective of his academic status. 
We had a heated argument last night and again, he said I should pick my things and leave his house. Aside from this, my husband is a very nice person and I love him dearly. My question to the blog family is, do I continue to overlook this, and patch things up like I've always done, or do I damn the consequences and go away just to prove a point, that am not afraid of losing him, and that he isn't doing me a favour.

Comments

  1. Dear Poster, sorry you've not explained enough for me/us to give any reasonable advice. I'm not saying you're not in considerable pain for you not to decide on a reasonable option, but you know that it's pretty difficult for semi-educated people expressing how they feel and acting as normally expected. You've not said anything about cheating, lack of family care and maintenance, or domestic violence, just threat of separation and washing of dirty linen in public. Unless I/we know more...

    ReplyDelete
  2. He is immature. Isn't marriage forever? So why does he keep threatening you to leave? Apart from caring for your sons, do you contribute meaningfully to your home? If he values you and if also you are a major shareholder in your home ( not only through material things) he will be afraid to lose you. He won't keep asking you to leave. All the best.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Eya! Why not talk to him about the threats. Tell him everything u just told us and ur frustrations abt them , hear his response and also watch what happens b4 u can go ahead to make any decision u don't wana regret.
    I know how talking to loved ones can genuinely change dem.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's how a cousin of mine left her house because her hubby told her to leave and he never called her back, like play like joke like film trick, marriage ended. Proceed with cautiom

    ReplyDelete
  5. He visits 3 times in a year right? He will soon leave so.....pick your fights wisely. When you guys are in a good mood tell him how his words make you feel, ask him how he will feel if you take his words seriously and leave. J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My words, your fingers. Poster listen to J

      Delete
  6. When next he asks you to leave 'his' house, tell him expressly that you ain't going no where, 'cos it's your house as much as his. Babe, possess your possessions. Make him realise that 2 have become one and what is urs is his and vice versa. Maybe he still somehow believes that he is a bachelor or 'married living single'. It's your home too and his people have become your people. Eradicate this defeatist mentality. He'll soon enough realise that his threats are out-dated... I've said my piece. Now, Peace to your home...SBHM

    ReplyDelete
  7. And concerning always reporting to your family, he doe that because they give him a listening ear. Your parents or even siblings should sit him down and advice him to man up and settle his differences with you in house. That they give ears to his 'constant complaints' give me the feeling that he 'butter's' your family members' bread.

    ReplyDelete
  8. COMMUNICATION is the key to any successful relationship, whether intimate or platonic. You know your hubby better than we do, let him calm down first from d heated argument of ystdy n afterwards tell him everytin you wrote up dere. His reaction afterwards would let u knw your next line of action. Goodluck babes.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hehehehe....I like that 'possess your possession' part in SBHM post.

    Poster once he brings up the leave my house talk,tell him it is 'our house' and if one person is to leave the other is also going.....shikena

    ReplyDelete

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