A few days back I read a post about a lady who met this guy on facebook. They hit it off and started exchanging texts and phone calls. Eventually they made plans for a date, which was to be one evening on a weekday. The chica being a 9-5'er would meet up with the young man after work at the appointed place. Broda however had other plans. He said she should come and pick him up. (Now, there's nothing wrong with this; but for a first date? The first time you both would be meeting? Come the fuck on!). She explained to him that it wouldn't be possible, his place was exact opposites from where they were meant to meet and her office is in an entirely different direction. Also, you know how Lagos traffic is at that time of the day, going from her office to pick him up and then head for the date spot would take no less than two hours. Of course this kind of chore would be completely unappealing to anyone after a hard day's work. Well bros wasn't interested in this explanation and it was sayonara after that.
More intriguing is that the lady shared this story on her BBM and most people had her to blame. "You should have just gone to pick him up"... " After all you women expect men to do the same thing". "That's how you've missed your husband". "Maybe he was just testing you to know if you can make a good wife".
So a couple of weeks back on a flight back to Lagos I met this guy. We sat together and he was in and out of sleep the whole flight. As our descent was announced he suddenly jerked and started to make small talk with me, as expected he soon asked for my phone number which I gave him. Before I'd even left the mainland he had already called me once and sent a few WhatsApp messages. Words like "I wanted to talk to you from the minute I got to my seat but your beauty made me shy" and "I know we're going to be good friends, my instincts are often right" were said. We chatted back and forth for a few days until he asked me out on a date. Well, that was also expected so I obliged. Then he said "You will have to come to Ojo". Wait. Where is Ojo again? I hear it's after Festac. I asked him why I had to come and he asked me Why Not?
I told him I wouldn't do that; after all he was the one asking me out on a date, he was the one who approached me, he was the one saying he would like us to have a relationship... And now that it's time to do the work, he's expecting me to come all the way? What for? I mean, he wasn't even suggesting we meet halfway, perhaps suggest we meet at Surulere or Ikeja. No, dude said I should come to Ojo. I said no can do. He disappeared immediately and that's just fine.
Somewhere during the conversation he started to attack me with the "Island girl" line. Wait, so because you live on the Island you cannot come to Ojo? So if it's not on the island you cannot hang out? So you only date people that live on the island? So island this and island that. Eishhh! I tried to explain that that was not the point. Strictly speaking I don't even live on the island. Bros nor gree hear o! It was either I come to Ojo or nothing.
I chose nothing.
And then there's this other brother I met several weeks back. The writer of the above text. He met me while I was walking to my car after dinner one night at Marcopolo and he seemed polite and friendly. I felt this might be a fun person to have around so I gave him my number. The next time we saw, dude freaked out when I told him I'm a lawyer. He said "Nne please don't put me I jail!". "Are you jail-worthy?" I asked. "Hmmm yes o! Over-jail worthy sef. But a man must do what he must to survive". At least he gets points for honesty.
Actually his livelihood was my least concern, there were greater reasons I was put off by him. Call it intuition, but I knew he wasn't the one, or even someone I wanted to be friends with, so I stopped taking his calls. Dude couldn't understand why a single 30 year old woman would turn down a catch like him. After several ignored calls he sent me the above text.
All I could do was smile. Dude just confirmed to me that I made the right choice turning him down. I mean, why get so nasty simply because I didn't pick your calls? And this is whom I'm supposed to "drop me standards" for and call husband? Tufia kwa! I didn't respond to the text and a few days later he began to call again. SMDH!
So really, how much of her standards is a woman supposed to drop? But more importantly, why have men suddenly become so lazy; why ask a woman out and expect her to come and pick you up or drive two hours to meet up with you while you cross your legs and wait? What's to blame for this recent malaise...
But the lady with the Facebook friend was told she was at fault as there was no biggie in going to pick him up... Do you agree with this? Do you think I should have gone to Ojo and seen where things went from there? Should women begin to meet the men halfway and accept this role reversal? When you come to think about it, is there really anything wrong with that? What do you think?