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My Baby Is Here! Still I Rant.






Hey guys!!! How have y'all been? This crib has been usually quiet, anyone care to tell me why? It's just as well as I've been swamped myself. Yesterday my family was blessed with a new addition. After several hours in labour my sister was finally delivered of a buriful baby boy. 

Naturally my family is elated, and relieved, as it got to a point she was too tired to push and said she wouldn't push anymore. To make it worse, she was alone. Her hubby had to go to work and then stay at home with the two other kids. My mum would go, but in a couple of weeks, so she had to go through it all by herself, but since she was later given epidural we were able to chat and talk during the "push process". 

So, baby came around 5pm (Nigerian time) and later last night I asked what name she'd chosen. She told me the name and I personally thought they could have, you know, done better, picked one of these funky new-age igbo names or something... She says well it's not in her hands, it's her husband and his father that choose. I'm like but they chose for the last one, and probably the one before. When do you (WE) get to pick the baby's name??????

I could feel her shrug. 

This morning I came to my parents' to congratulate them on their newest grandchild and to eat mama's cooking. I raised the name issue with my mum and she practically shushed me. She says it's not for us or my sister to choose. I'm like HOW? WHY? She says it's tradition, his family picks the names (we can choose the secondary ones that nobody ever knows or remembers)... While we're talking, my sister calls from the U.S. and raises the name issue. My mum says please just go with whatever they want, it's they that get to choose, it's tradition, you have no say. Best you can do is modify the name the way you want; if for instance they choose Chukwuemeka you can decide to call him that or Chiemeka or Emeka, but if they don't agree just go with what they want. 

Aaaaaaaaarghhhhhh! I wanted to pounce on my mum! How does someone carry a child for nine months, go through 27 hours of labour and eventually be cut open, and not get a say in what the child is called? In what universe is that okay??? 

Still mummy says it's tradition and we don't get a say. 

Please is this what applies where you're from? Are mothers allowed to pick their children's names? Did you pick your kid's names? Who gets to choose? Tell me please because I'm so picking my kids' names, I already even have their names sef!


I hope my sisters' in-laws don't read this and come at me ooooh. Lol. 

Comments

  1. Congratulations on the latest addition to your family. Greetings and best wishes!

    ReplyDelete
  2. In my case, I picked d names so far, maybe because I have girls. I cannot imagine it any other way. He practically doesn't ask how I'm doing throughout d whole process of pregnancy and birth, and insults my pregnancy sleeping habits every chance he gets, there is no way I would just keep silent and let him name d children ' he didn't care about'. Then again, I've bad girls so far so maybe they just me. Some traditions are just ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry Anon. Story of my life. May God continue to help us.

      Delete
  3. Lol, congrats to your family.
    It's so weird but I tweeted this some days ago. I believe the mother shld be the one to choose the name of the child since the husband has already given his (default) last name or better still the parents of the child shld decide for their child. (I thought they say during premarital classes one shldnt involve external fam into ur family affair, why use "tradition" to twist the rules?)

    ReplyDelete
  4. i tire oo @ (I thought they say during premarital classes one shldnt involve external fam into ur family affair, why use "tradition" to twist the rules?)

    ReplyDelete
  5. I picked the names for my kids o.. My husband is too busy and just said yes to the names I picked .. It's sad cos I know people that their kids have names they don't like cos they didn't have a say in it.. My father-inlaw gave his own names too but he still calls them the names I have them.. He's a very cool man.. I feel it's the mother that should pick the names after all she's the one that went through all the wahala of pregnancy and childbirth. It depends on the couple sha..some men can't be bothered about choosing names , their own is to hustle and ensure there's money to raise the kids well.

    ReplyDelete
  6. All this oppression in the name of tradition. My hubby n I agreed I'd give the English and baptismal names, he would give the native names n our respective grand parents will give other .
    names.

    I ended up doing both English n native names with hubby's small input.

    It boils down to the man u marry n how much traditionally inclined he is.

    I'm not into all this tradition... ish, and I chose a man who no send traditional issues.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Congratulations to your Sister and your entire family.

      God protect the baby n mother

      Delete
  7. Congrats on your latest bundle of joy.
    Well, I think the name ish, isn't a big deal.A child should have 1st, middle and last names.if the father and grandfather choose a 1st name then the mother'choice can be the middle name.Africans,especially Nigerians are usually not known by one name.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yay big sis D has a boy now. Congrats Aunty Thelma, in my own opinion i think the parents should name their child. middle names could come from grandparents.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Congratulations to your family Thelma! Thanks to God.

    That tradition is strong sha. I've never heard it's so in my place.

    If I were in that position, I'd start from "beau we're pregnant", to begin persuasion Re names. Then even if they don't succumb, no much worries, I'd be calling our children what I prefer...at least no one said I shouldn't name them at all, right?

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yayy! Congratulations aunty Thelma!

    I've heard of such traditions but I didn't think it was that serious. My dad named 3 of us, getting to our last born he deviated from the normal Christian-Igbo names (for reasons best known to him) to an *ozolized* name. My mum vehemently rejected it and named my last sister instead, and dad didn't protest.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I think it should be done togeda. Tradition or no tradition, really it boils down to the couple.

    ReplyDelete
  12. They can only do so if they help in carrying the pregnancy and pushing during labour....if not DH and moi will pick the names.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Congrats on the arrival of ur little one.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Congrats on the newborn Thelma. You must wash it for us oh!

    As for baby names it depends on the couple...all my brothers pick their kids first names (usually english or baotismal) and my dad gives then their yoruba middle names.

    As for me I was given my first name by my dad's sister and till i was six I couldnt pronounce my name correctly because my mother mispronouced it.

    At the end of the day so long as the name has a positive meaning i dontreally care where it comes from

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. Congratulations Thelma... ekuu owo lomi! :)

    Traditions! Traditions!! Traditions!!! Our dad named us all shaa... my grandpa's name is not even the second sef. my dad had a list! I even saw the list sef! Loool. So my mom didn't even have a say. He brought out his list and she agreed. Shikenah. This one you and sunshine have picked names... loool. My husband can name our children jare. As far as I like them.. no wahala.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Congratulations on the new bundle.

    I already have names for my 3 children. I named them when I was in JSS 3! Someone will now come tomorrow and expect me to be calling my child Titilayo, lai!

    I understand that the husband does these things and I wont argue with him, we can just look at my names together, if he has a different name in mind, no p, my names can come second but all the grandparents names will come after the names WE have chosen for our children.

    Mine and Kabuoy's second names came from our grandpa and that's what he calls us, our last born however, I dont think any grandparent even had a say in any of her names. They just came for naming.

    ReplyDelete
  17. My husband named my children (his dad named the first). I was given options to choose from but he picked all the options. Personally, I don't think it matters who names the child between the parents as long as both parents like the name(s).

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  18. Congrats on the new baby thelma may he bring mora joy and favour to ur family.

    ReplyDelete
  19. its actually d man's right except he waves it for the wife. My mum named me maybe cos I was d first daughter. Av already chosen names for my children which hubby doesn't even object to

    ReplyDelete
  20. I'm male and am traditional. A woman has no biz naming a child, her own is to carry the Damn thing in her body until it's old enough to come out dazall
    Who born monkey woman wey wan name my child

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You call a child 'damn thing'? Do you even know what it means? May God forgive you because honestly you don't know what you are saying. I just feel sorry for the poor woman who'll have the misfortune of marrying you!

      Delete
  21. Congrats T. Traditions n the chaos it causes in families shaa. The mum should choose the name and could optionally accept any other name given. It's her child..

    ReplyDelete

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