"The minute we broke up you and him had no business being friends! You had no right or reason to continue talking to him" she yelled at me last night.
Last year when my friend and her boo were in the thick of their relationship, she came to town and spent weeks at his place so that by the time she was leaving he had grown dependent on her. She also felt bad leaving him that way; who would cook for him? Who would clean for him? Who will gist with him? Who will keep him company?
Well, for the period she was at his place I was there most of the time and he and I became friends, so when she called me days after she left and requested that I drop in on her boo sometimes to keep him company, it wasn't very surprising. She made this request several times and even when I'd tell her I'm going to jog in his estate she would ask me to call him so we could exercise together. I never did, never called him to jog or go visit at home.
One evening I told her I'd gone there to jog again and she asked if I called him, I said no and I noticed she wasn't pleased. It then occured to me that my refusal to call her boo could actually give her the wrong notions, so I called and went to see him. Long story short, he and I became good friends, this she knew about and approved of. We became quite close that we now had our own friendship whereby we would talk on the phone, he, being a lot older would give me advise, his friends would ask me out and he would tell me which ones I should mind and which I should pay no mind, he even came to my house a few times and met with my nephews... Oh, he also got to talk to my sister as well about a business venture. We would occasionally hang out, or exercise together or just chill. All these my friend knew about and didn't mind; I had my own relationship(s) too and she was also very good friends with my then boyfriend. So it's safe to say we were one happy family!
On his last birthday she wasn't in town and he was having a big party. The burden automatically fell on me to help organize and coordinate, all the while I was on the phone with her, giving her a running commentary. His guests wondered if I was his woman but his close friends knew I was just a friend to his chic who wasn't in town. When I could catch my breath, after all the hard work, I realized that I had no one of my own to talk to. It was a big party so I invited a friend of mine.
Now months later, my friend and her boo have broken up. I sense they've still got strong feelings for each other but for reasons best known to them they broke up. He and I at this point had become good friends, and shutting down our friendship just seemed unrealistic. I actually stopped spending time with him and only saw him on a few occasions, but we remained good friends as he would call me on the phone regularly to check up on me.
However, I did not know that he and my friend whom I invited for a party and whom he saw with me after the party, had on their own started to have their own talks, and without my knowledge started to spend time together.
Last night my friend calls me and is as mad as fuck! "Why the hell did you take your friend *Tara to *Tayo's house? Why would you do that? You know how I feel about him? He's not even over me yet, he still calls me everyday". I tried to calm her down and explained that it was a birthday party and all sorts of people were there, I didn't think inviting one more person would make a difference. Plus I never imagined that the two of them would... I don't even know, I can be so naive sometimes I swear.
Well she's freaking upset. She says I should call my friend to order and make sure she puts a complete end to whatever she intends to have with Tayo. And then after ranting and yelling at me, she tells me I have no business whatsoever being friends with her ex, tells me the minute they broke up I should have stopped talking to him, and then asks me to keep my distance from him.
I sincerely apologized to her and gave her my word, and I will keep it. I'm done being friends with him. However, I cannot promise to do anything about Tayo and Tara. I hate that it was through me they met, considering that the ex is one of my dearest friends, but as I explained to her, they're both adults and there's a limit to what I can do.
My question is how much say should someone have in their Ex's life and subsequent relationships? Can you still practice sole proprietorship over someone you're no longer in a relationship with? My friendship with her is important so I'll cut him off, but is this demand from her fair and justified, or is she being unreasonable?
Any thoughts on the above scenario?