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Concerned Husband: "She Loves Her Liquor!"






I got married to my wife 6 years plus ago. We met at a mutual friend’s house and quickly became enamored with each other. We were best of friends and because i was seconded outside Lagos we decided we didn’t want to wait too long before tying the knot.
We got married and were quickly blessed with 3 kids within a space of 5 and a half years. Throughout my wife’s pregnancies we had been living in Ibadan but i got posted back to Lagos shortly after our 3rd child was given birth to.
I was relived and the posting and was happy that we would once again be near family and friends. For my sake as well as that of my wife’s because she had constantly complained of being cut off from the world while in Ibadan.
Some weeks after we got back to Lagos i noticed my wife having a glass of wine. That was my first time seeing her drink any sort of alcohol and i teased her about being a learning drinker. She smiled and refused to give a comment.
Subsequently i noticed bottles of whiskey in the kitchen closet and upon enquiry i learnt my wife had hosted some of her friends and they had drank whiskey. Whiskey? what kind of friends visit you in the afternoon and drink whiskey i wondered.
Somehow i forgot to ask her about the kind of friends who visited that day and i must say i regret my negligence. Because my wife has metamorphosed to a drunk. She spends her afternoons drinking and snoring. It has now gotten so bad that i come home from work to meet her drunk and asleep. The most annoying part of her habit is the stench in my bedroom coupled by her neglect of the kids.
I tried talking her out of the bad habit but she refused to stop. When the matter became unbearable i had to report to our pastor who urged me to exercise some patience. I tried, but when she refused to change i started beating her. Not because i wanted to but because i thought it would make her change.
While checking her phone last week i discovered she has a group of friends she meets up with to drink. They are all married women who have resorted to drinking their “sorrows” away as they call it away. I am honestly fed up. I don’t want my kids  t bttggggggtg thn bgrowing up under the tutelage of a drunk. I have asked her to go but she has refused to do so claiming she loves me but refusing to accept that she needs to stop drinking.

***

I saw this post on LIFETITUDES just after seeing the picture of the wife who had her ear cut off by her husband, with a plier. That image is deeply etched in my mind so I read this with some what you could call biase. But I acknowledge that this is an entirely different matter. What do you say to this?

Comments

  1. I left this comment recently on WC so I'm just going to copy some of it here.
    As an alcoholic in recovery myself, I know how gripping addiction can be and I can recognise that his wife is well on her way to becoming an alcoholic- if she isn't already ( drinking early in the day and being neglectful, etc).
    The devil's tried to use it to break my home but I thank God for my supportive husband who, in this day and age, and as a Nigerian man with a great oil job, can still stay focused, recognising that it is the devil using a weakness and secret sin to try to destroy our home.
    I don't know where this writer is but if you are abroad, his wife can start first by owning that she's got an alcohol problem and then by attending meetings.
    I can say to you now that there is no way I will ever pick up a drink ever only because I have accepted God's saving grace.
    But, I also attend Alcoholics Anonymous religiously every week and have been for a long time now.
    More than anything, realise that this is more spiritual than physical- the devil will use any means to fight against the unit called marriage - even if it is with a weakness of his wife's so he has to be prayerful as well.
    Divorce is not an option only because God has expressly told us he hates its- there is no sugar-coating or rationalising it.
    It has become his cross that he need to lay at the feet of Christ, asking that he make your burden light.
    The bible says that one will chase a thousand and two, ten thousand - and that is why the enemy is waging all sorts of war on the marital institution- same sex marriage, divorce, gripping addiction, domestic violence ( separate your husband from yourself in this case because only a living person can pray but continue to pray in all manners of prayer and supplication unto God), etc

    Stay blessed blessed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mr Wale? Is this you?

      Delete
  2. It seems to me like his wife might be depressed as women generally and those with 3 or more children under age 14 are prone to depression and may take up adverse defence methods.

    She needs to talk to someone, preferably a psychiatrist. I have seen a lot of patients like this. He should act fast before suicidal ideas start to creep in.

    Note: Seeing a psychiatrist doesnt always mean the individual is mad. They treat depression using the Biopsychosocial approach i.e drugs, social and psychological treatment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It most certainly is depression as that was how mine started.

      Delete
  3. He tried beating her to change, is she a baby? That just spoilt his story to me. H e should see a doctor , counsellor or something for the wife, there s something eating her deep inside

    ReplyDelete

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