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Dear Thelma... (In Love With a Youngin)

Please BVs I need your opinion. I met my friend (let us call him Simeon) when someone gave him my business line BBM pin. He added me to make enquiries about some products I am selling. I didn't have what he was looking for but somehow we started chatting and before I knew it we were chatting everyday about different issues like work or politics or entertainment and other General things. Simeon is very intelligent and mature so long story short I started falling for him and we started flirting with each other. We went for a date and I won't lie the guy is fine and very tall. When we met I noticed that he looked younger than I expected so I asked him his age and he said he is 23. The problem is that I'm 31 and I told him but he didn't care o. He said age is just a number. I said I wouldn't see him after that night but when I was going home we kissed and I swear it is the best kiss of my life. Long story short we started to spend time together and we have been intimate with each other and it has been the best love making in my life that now I cannot even do without it. I have never done this kind of thing in my life but he is so mature, also he graduated really early and has been working for at least two years now, so it is easy for us to relate. He says we are in a relationship but I'm still a bit shy about it so I've not told anybody about him, even my closest friends. The truth is that I have feelings for him and I think I'm in love with him, I know this relationship may not have a future and I know he is not ready for marriage so I'm not having any unrealistic expectations. But his sister is wedding next month and she is even younger than me, he is insisting that I come for the wedding because he claims that he is proud of me and sees no reason why he should hide me or keep our relationship a secret as I'm doing. What I want to know is please if your brother should bring his girlfriend home and she is 8 years older than him, will you accept her? And I will appreciate any advise on this kind of relationship. Thank you. 


  1. My dear follow your heart,age is a number,the moment u stop thinking about what people will say about you,u will find true happiness,as far u both love each other sincerely.

  2. Who is telling anyone you are 8years older? Except you look it, if not, you both should keep the age thing aside and just live your life. 23 is quite young though.

  3. The gap is too much. Release the young man. Enjoy the relationship well, then set him free.

  4. Did I hear 8 years?..I laugh in Japan. My dear, if you are the person that your younger brother brought a lady older than him and introduce to the family, how will you feel?.. Please be honest in your response. Age is but a number, I agree. Relationship is better when the man is taller, so that he bends to kiss the woman. Relationship/marriage is sweeter when the man is older or at most the same age group. You are already feeling ashamed to introduce him to your friends. Can't you see things are not right already?. What happens when you people go out on a date with his friends. His friends bring their younger girl friends and you were there with him. How will you feel.
    At this stage of life, you don't need distractors. Except he is Gen. Buhari's son. Please let him step aside so that the main guy will step in. Remember love is like one stupid super glue, immediately you glue your mind on this boy, it may be difficult to unglue it.

    One of my friends was dating a younger boy sometime last two years, she was flaunting him on us. At least young men still admire her so for her, she is still hot, until one day, another friend of mine washed her down..... Look at you! old mama youngie””, be wasting your time, don't you know that by the time younger guys start admiring you, that is a sign that you are going out of market. Give yourself five years more, its only old retired men that will now be in your case. What???? I leant from that expisode that day, She feign anger at first but later woke up to the truth. She is now happily married.
    Please give yourself some sense. Look around you, Women that married younger men.. How is the marriage??

    Sorry for the long post.

    1. Your post is not rational sorry to say. First u said she's already feeling ashamed to introduce said guy 2 her friends. Why is dat so? Because she is worried they will not approve of him or say something bad about him. Not bcos he is a bad person or anything. Next u sai except he is buharis son? So it's ok to marry buhari or dangotes much more younger son? Bcoz of wealth? Or what? SMH for u!

    2. Correct! Thumbs up for this comment abeg. But saying except he is Gen. Buhari's son is not right. She doesn't need distractors at this age whether he is Buhari's son or not.

  5. My kind of love, It is more interesting.
    When the opinion of others doesn't affect who your heart falls for.

    You fell in love with the guy, not his age. I'm so happy that you knew him through bbm, sort of like a blind date. Hehehe

  6. Bill Gate once said, "“I failed in some subjects in exam, but my friend passed in all. Now he is an engineer in Microsoft and I am the owner of Microsoft.” You undermine a washer-man today, he marries you and realizes he owns flits of dry-cleaning companies all over Lagos. Auntie could be right. It could be true he's a washer-man too, but I recommend a movie by Shirley Frimpong-Manso titled THE PREFECT PICTURE. Never underestimate a man in LOVE.

    1. My dear this comment should be in 'How Low Should I Go' post, not here.

  7. My dear.."na you go wear the shoe finally" no be your friends.The moment you stop listening to what your friends will say and start focusing on whether this love is genuine or just lust you will see a way out.Based on the question you asked,wetin concern me with my brother love matter? He is the one that wants to marry the babe no be so?..Once i see the sincerity there and no foul play..he has my 100% support.

  8. 8 years is a pretty wide gap. I know that if he were my younger brother, I will object to it cos I'll think you're taking advantage of him even though he's probably the one taking advantage of your need to get hitched but as far as the love is genuine and he's willing to fight and stand up for you, and make me see reason, then by all means, go ahead with it.

  9. People need to stop living their lives for others..

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. An 8 year gap is a lot. If it was just the 2 of you in the garden of Eden it might be a match made in heaven but with third party relations such as his family, your family etc, it would be dicey.

  12. Babe I understand your predicament. But the truth is if the guy is okay, and you are okay with his okay, then go ahead. My cousin who am older than married his wife who is 10years my senior, meaning she is 11yrs her husband senior. The truth is this babe is submissive to the call. She treats me like am her elder sis. In short, you must be ready to submit to your husband and his family(the young and the old, especially the old).

    Mind you we got to know about her age when we were helping her to find a job, through her CV. He never hint us until we found out and then they were married with two boys

  13. Damn it. I know of a friend who's wife is 12 years older, the guy dey cry now for the marriage. Madam can't even make love again. Mean while am 30years a 22 year old guy is on my neck too. I have tried to pursue him as well, dude is bent on taking me to the altar in a year time. Hian I can't deal ooooo

  14. I don't know if you'll get to see this comment but....
    If you were 40 and he was 32, I'd have screamed carry go but at 23 trust me he doesn't really know what he wants. He thinks he has seen it all but he really hasn't, you've been on this planet for 8yrs longer than him so you should be the wiser one here and not get too carried away. He's at an age where it's exciting to date an older girl, something to brag about when he's with his friends. Forget how he makes you feel for one second and use logic, emotions tend to cloud our judgement. He's still at an age where anything can happen and he'll get easily carried away. As a friend of mine will say "don't steal his groove" cos he still has a lot of grooving to do. You'll feel worse if you end up with him and he grows up and discovers that he likes younger girls. The key phrase here is "grows up".
    But then again there's always an exception to the rule and he might just be the exception.
    At the end of the day all we can do is advice, everything you hear is an opinion, not a fact. It's totally up to you to find your own truth. Best of luck


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