Skip to main content

Dear Thelma... (She's Cooking For Him!)




My boyfriend went to the US two weeks ago for a vacation. He told me he met a chic on the plane and as it was a long flight they started talking. On getting to the airport she had some issues with immigration n he said he was being polite so he waited for her, for about 3 hrs n eventually when it was sorted n he wanted to go, her sister who came to pick her up offered to give him a ride to his hotel. He said her elder sister asked her to collect his number and told her to make sure she calls him later to thank him. This was after the sister asked if he is single or married. 
     I was not happy about it but he assured me that he told them he's in a serious relationship. I learnt that he and the girl have been talking and she has brought food for him three times now. He insists that she's just being friendly and grateful to him for waiting with her at the airport. Worse yet is that I live in Lagos and they both live in Abuja. He said she's bringing him food again today, he talks about her very fondly but says that she is just being nice because they are abroad and there's lack of Nigerian food there. Please ladies do you cook for a guy you just met out of mere niceness? Even though there is nothing I can do from here I am so worried sick because my instincts are sounding like he may not only cheat on me with her but that he may even leave me for her, as they have the next month with each other uninterrupted, and they both live in the same area in Abuja (wuse 2). Should I just start looking for another boyfriend to save myself the heartbreak? I love him so much but I don't know what to do at this point. And please I'm not comfortable with her cooking for him and taking to his hotel every other day. Could this be innocent and I'm overreacting? Please tell me what you think because I will send him the link to this post. God bless. 

Comments

  1. I think you should start finding your level. Girls are not smiling my dear.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He hasn't cheated and ur advising her to find her level? When he does cheat,what shld she now do? Hang herself??? Mba biko...

      Delete
  2. Dear poster, you have every reason to be worried. Your man is going to fall for this whole set up (even if he never planned to).

    I have won many hearts over as a result of my cooking skills. If I need the most intelligent boy/girl in my class (back then) to do me a favour, I simply cook for them. And they are hooked. (sorry friends)

    The problem with your boy friend is that he thinks she has good intentions. Dear boy friend, please the good intentions have been covered after she gave you a lift/ride home.

    Not only have you given this lady more than enough room to lure you, you have also seriously opened the door to temptation. YOU ARE ENCOURAGING HER TO WOO you.

    The minute your "loving girl friend" aired her views about her discomfort with the whole situation, you should have stopped entertaining her free food, which isn't actually free.

    Honestly, I would spank you if I could. (like seriously). This is a simple case of "trouble dey sleep, yanga come come wake am".

    Stop it, stop it now!!! Tell her no more food, go to a restaurant and eat if your relationship means anything to you. Don't entertain her frequent calls
    Send a strong message that you are unavailable. It's that simple.

    I haven't finished, I will be back.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said ma'am!!! Well said

      Delete
  3. U either transport urself to the abroad or to Abuja (wuse 2), make ur choice...

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hahahahaha, your BF is intentionally playing with fire.if you trust him then you have nothing to worry about afterall he told you.
    I'll tell you want i'll do in your shoes, i'll also meet a great guy(make him up if you must) give your BF all the details, go for dates,the guy should help you fix something spoilt in your house,inshort get a painter to re paint your room but the story will be that the guy volunteered when you mentioned it,talk about the guy so much and the most important give your BF all the details. His brain will reset. I hate when guys act ignorant of the effects of their actions on their partner.
    You may also try the alternative of telling him how you feel about his new found friendship. J

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This is a very creative way to go about it...

      Delete
    2. there is no wisdom in this especially if the 'great guy' is imaginary. this kinda moves always backfires. u would make it easier for the guy to cheat on you and eventually walk.

      Delete
  5. Guys already know that many ladies these days have certified FBI capabilities and as a result, have upped their Ocean's skills. Dear Poster, the "she's just a friendly cook" stories are junk. He's already cheating (95% probability). I'm terribly sorry..

    ReplyDelete
  6. People be acting clueless......issokai

    So your boyfriend wants us to believe that the babe is just been appreciative......oh well.....the next story would be how he slept with her without meaning to....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. U comment just got me laffing, true talk though,and Memphis, seconded ojere.

      Delete
  7. Poster I'm worried for you too, even if your boo has good intentions this girl seems to have her own plans. All I can advise you to do at this point is to pray.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Poster, your boyfriend just kissed her and they are gonna meet for sex tomorrow night.pack your bags tonight,get on the next plane to wherever they are and deliver your man from the shackles of gbòkogbòko
    If I hear say na just friendly lunsh.

    ReplyDelete
  9. This your bf nawa for him o, he's now giving you all the details, very insensitive.....find a backup fast and I mean it, fast fast before they use your heart to play. I hate when guys act clueless and are not firm, maybe he's even trying to tell u indirectly to find someone else

    ReplyDelete
  10. They say the way to a man's heart is tru his stomach.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Which kain wahala is this now. After they asked him if he's singled or married, now the matter has entered cooking if food. My dear I don't think you should find yourself another boyfriend just yet. Your boyfriend might be struggling with crossing the line due to her niceness but don't buy plaster before the wound okay. Let's wait and see how things play out.


    Epiphany29.com
    Clingy Girlfriends, What's not to love

    ReplyDelete
  12. Ok....I can relate, cos this happened to me some 3 years back.
    My ex and Angela met at a party, and got close. when she asked about his status, my ex told her that he was in a very serious relationship. They both work and live around festac. i was working at ikeja then, and only came around festac mostly weekends. He told me about her and how they met at a party, and said she was very friendly..bla bla bla...

    She started coming around every evening after work, and periods when she knew i wasn't available, and then turned herself to housewife...cooking, cleaning, and gradually advanced to sleeping with him.

    It's a very messy issue and we had to break off the relationship, cos i couldn't deal. The major issue was his greed tho, he loved me and liked her, and wanted to keep us both, but MBANU who does a thing like that.

    So my dear, it may seem a bit too early to start worrying, cos trust me she won't advance from cook to ***** in one day, it could take weeks or even months, but bottomline is that there is a motive that only she knows for now.

    SHINE YOUR EYES, that's really all i can say for now.

    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  13. If the guy is cheating on you, I feel he will not be telling you all these stories, Just keep your mind at rest, what is yours will be yours.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Even if you are the one leaving with your boo in same house , if he wants to follow another lady and dump you, he would, that being said, tell bobo how this makes you feel, for the fact you are not comfortable with it, is enough for him to put that girl aside. don't bother your pretty head, what is yours is actually yours

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lmao, maybe it's the jazz that she's putting in the food that caused the immigration wahala at the airport, because you're bf isn't acting like it's clear eye o. What I don't get is why he's updating you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The update is a cover up, just in case Poster decides to employ a PI. I would've given him the benefit of doubt, but mehn...the babe is COOKING!!

      Delete
    2. As in.... She's cooking ooo! That's the beginning of the end. The question now is what happens after he's done with the meal. Does he just hug her and say bye? A good meal cooked for a seemingly available man by an attractive woman usually leads to...

      Delete
    3. As in.... She's cooking ooo! That's the beginning of the end. The question now is what happens after he's done with the meal. Does he just hug her and say bye? A good meal cooked for a seemingly available man by an attractive woman usually leads to...

      Delete
  16. There is not one thing good about this friendship between your boyfriend and "miss charity."
    Please reiterate your discomfort and add that you would not want the friendship, especially if it is going to keep being that close to continue.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Be a confident woman and tell yourself you're beautiful and desirable and he'll be silly to let you go. Please DON'T act desparate or insecure, just be your normal loving self since you have said you love him so much. Thirdly if you're a praying person tell Jesus how much you love this guy and you won't want to loose him, but ultimately let His will be done. I'm almost positive you'll be fine.
    A girl and her mother wooed my husband before we got married, as in they went on their knees and asked my husband to leave me, a prophet even told them I'm not the one for him. Alot of cooking and nice new shirts were involved in all this o, as a matter of fact. When all this was happening I was living in a different city while both of them were together in the same city. I saw the distraction they were posing in my relationship. I just faced my work cause I know my worth. Showed my bf all the love I felt, above all prayed about it and planned a multiple vacation to dubai, Turkey and England. Was just sending the signal I have a great life and u and your distraction can't bring me down. A few days before I proceeded on my vacation my bf pays me a surprise visit and calls all his brothers and tells me how much he loves me before all of them and proposes to me. We're married now.
    Alot of times we ladies act desparate and insecure like a man is doing you a favour by being in your life. Ladies let's spend more time and energy improving ourselves, serving God, and loving our family and friends especially when we are single and less time worrying about that man, trust me you won't have all the time to do all those when you finally get married and you will actually regret wasting your single days.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I believe you ma'am! I believe you!

      Kabuoy!

      Delete
    2. I actually screengrabbed the first paragraph of your comment. Great advice!!!!

      Delete
  18. Be a confident woman and tell yourself you're beautiful and desirable and he'll be silly to let you go. Please DON'T act desparate or insecure, just be your normal loving self since you have said you love him so much. Thirdly if you're a praying person tell Jesus how much you love this guy and you won't want to loose him, but ultimately let His will be done. I'm almost positive you'll be fine.
    A girl and her mother wooed my husband before we got married, as in they went on their knees and asked my husband to leave me, a prophet even told them I'm not the one for him. Alot of cooking and nice new shirts were involved in all this o, as a matter of fact. When all this was happening I was living in a different city while both of them were together in the same city. I saw the distraction they were posing in my relationship. I just faced my work cause I know my worth. Showed my bf all the love I felt, above all prayed about it and planned a multiple vacation to dubai, Turkey and England. Was just sending the signal I have a great life and u and your distraction can't bring me down. A few days before I proceeded on my vacation my bf pays me a surprise visit and calls all his brothers and tells me how much he loves me before all of them and proposes to me. We're married now.
    Alot of times we ladies act desparate and insecure like a man is doing you a favour by being in your life. Ladies let's spend more time and energy improving ourselves, serving God, and loving our family and friends especially when we are single and less time worrying about that man, trust me you won't have all the time to do all those when you finally get married and you will actually regret wasting your single days.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Was going to type something until I saw your comment....



    This is the best advice the poster or any single lady can get.......Lord help us!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa