Skip to main content

Hush-Hush & Jinxes!





You know some times it's really wise to keep things under wraps. That's a concept that's beginning to elude more and more people in this age of social media; over sharing and over sharers. Oh, no judgement there, I've done my fair share of oversharing but even in days of naïveté I've never really shared anything truly personal on social media (giving myself some credit here). 

For some, it's that inability to contain their excitement; look at me, i'm travelling here! I'm flying first class! I'm getting that oyel job! I'm dating Mr Big! I just got engaged!... For some it's not about containing excitement but just rubbing it in other people's faces; look, my life is so much better than yours! And for some it's just a way of life, if they haven't shared something on IG then it feels like it didn't really happen. 

Of course things like engagements and weddings shouldn't be kept under wraps, well unless you're marrying someone else's spouse. Like that little scandal we saw on Bella Naija yesterday which made me think that just maybe, just maybe some people should keep things hush hush until it happens. BN put up a post by Mariam Adeyemi's Caucasian Fiancé's purported ex wife Petia (Pheew, that was a mouthful!) saying that they (she and Mariam Adeyemi's fiancé; John Trimmer) are still very married and there's never been any talk of  divorce or separation. The wife said her angst was triggered when the lovebirds; Mariam and John had their pre-wedding photos posted on Bella Naija. 

So you see, sometimes it's necessary to keep things under wraps. Keeping things off social media and away from the public eye is sometimes necessary and even advisable. But have you ever had a friend that kept things secret from both social media and you? A friend who never shares important things with you or anyone until it's happened? For instance, last week we were talking about a certain former "runz chic" who got married to some "island big boy". It was a big wedding as the duo are both very popular, individually. Yet popular as she is, her friends didn't know about this wedding until two weeks to the traditional marriage, when she gave them the Aso Ebi. As in, her close friends didn't even know she and the said guy were dating, much less engaged!

People said, well knowing her kind of friends you can't blame her. Yeah, I think that was wise. Likewise some years ago my friend *Tola didn't tell anyone she was getting married until after the court wedding. For close friends this can be pretty offensive, it could get you feeling like am I the winch that will stop your wedding from happening?... Or stop you from getting that job?... Or stop you from making that trip?

I'm not sure what their reasons are but I'm learning from them and keeping things private, even from close friends (LOL. Let's all keep our plans secret nau. Can't be telling you 'every' while you tell me nada). However I'm not very sure why. I understand the need to not share certain things with people until said things happen, so that, just in case they don't happen you don't look stupid or worse yet, begin to answer questions here and there. But I hear most people just don't share their plans or hopes so that it doesn't get jinxed!

I'm not sure guys, should I be offended by that friend who tells us about the job - only after she's gone for the interview and got a callback, about getting her masters - only after she's began the program, about her wedding - only when preparations were well underway, about her travel plans - only when she's boarded the plane and strapped in her seatbelt ready for take off (yes I'm talking about an actual friend)...

Or should I understand, because sharing your plan with people could jinx it? 

What do you think? Are you the type that talks about things with whomever and whenever, disregarding all unsubstantiated beliefs? Or are you like my friend that keeps things tightly under wraps until it's happened? Oooh, have you ever had an unpleasant experience which you think resulted from sharing your plans with someone? Do tell, do tell, ooooh please tellll!




Comments

  1. T, these days you can't trust anyone oo. Someone like myself when i would be getting married i won't make so much noise at all cos i got burnt from my last experience (broken engagement). I have had my fair share of this even to the extent that my younger was planning her wedding and i was the last person to know about it (sad face) but i just left everything in the hands of God.

    PS ( any BV around surulere that wants an exercise companion please, ejo, mbok indicate under my comment) ese gan

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nne, biko me I donno...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I share out of excitement though someone told me recently that I should stop sharing things on my blog about my hubby and kids because the world is wicked, to that I just tire, I am not private as such,my hubby is however private but I have things I keep private sha...lol

    ReplyDelete
  4. T,I really don't like sharing personal information with anyone(even family),its just who I am..Truthfully I haven't experienced any form of friends backstabbing or betrayal,disloyalty or whatever,I just love to deal with my thing alone,by myself,I really don't know how this trait came about,probably from peoples experiences or stories I've heard.
    I would only tell you if it has anything at all to do with you,if not,I don't say..

    ReplyDelete
  5. People ain't loyal anymore...fake friends and fake family members everywhere...one needs to be extra careful abt everything cos we r nt even sure of who to trust anymore...your best friend is another's best friend!"Ogbon laye gba"


    EWAOLUWA

    ReplyDelete
  6. They say when u get pregnant, u shldnt spill. even when the bulge starts to show, never tell how far gone u are....

    ReplyDelete
  7. Moderate what you share and make sure the sharing doesn't control you. Over sharing is the problem...as for the timmergate story- somehow it seemeds to simple to be true.

    Folks who are quick to give you a full frontal of their lives often have a lot more going on in the background - I don't mean this in a good way either.

    Some people are justified in not telling folks what they are doing- sometimes you want something to be a success first before you share, not necessarily because of evil eyes...

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Me I share to see the other person's view of what am sharing and learn..I don't need to fear about your reasoning or thoughts, if God said its mine,its mine and nothing can change that.But when some family members don't share am like "O gini ne eme zi oya"..Still console myself that people ain't the same and always remembering that perfect Love cast out fear

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect Love cast out fear, Word!

      I've learnt to cultivate a whole lot of wisdom in choosing my friends, hence most times I'm super comfortable sharing my life and its details with friends. Because I trust them and I also strive to keep their details and secrets intact. Apart from being modest with any success I accomlish (If any), I'm mostly extroverted hence I need to talk and oftentimes share, but most times I tend to act wisely in knowing what amount to share and to whom to share to.

      Delete
  9. And all my comments dissappeared

    Oh well

    ReplyDelete
  10. I recently discussed possibility of moving to another firm with a colleague of mine who used to see me as his arch rival. I wanted to beat myself afterward but I had to tell him because I needed a second (informed) opinion and he happened to be the best option I had. When I mentioned to another colleague that I told this 'my former rival-colleague', he said I shouldn't have because he is not straightforward and could back-stab me. Oh well, I just had to take my chances because at the end, he gave me the needed encouragement and some useful tips with which I prepared the presentation I made to the firm.

    When you speak about things, carefully selecting who you speak to, it may be advantageous. Moderation is key....

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  11. It is better to keep it wrapped until it happens. Thanks for sharing. You are really thinking
    topmosttree.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  12. Some people choose to talk about stuff so as not to jinx it whilst, for some others, it's just uncommon wisdom.
    Like my mum will say, ' obi di anwuo"- the heart is tricky- it might not even be in a person's nature to want to hurt you or to hate another 's success but it could just creep into their minds.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa