Skip to main content

The Things That Used To Matter.





Hey guys! I feel like I've been terribly irresponsible, neglecting my blog for days and dragging my feet. I sincerely apologise, I'm so sorry! I have no excuses really, it's just, there's so much to see and do, so many places to go to. I keeping meeting new people so when I think I might get some down time someone suggests something and I find I cannot say no. I'd never considered myself an adventurous person but we learn new things about ourselves everyday (or not...). 

You know, I've not slept before 4am since I got here. Earlier this morning I got a sudden crave to shop for chocolates and I got up and went to this mall, at 2am. While at the mall I got talking to this Indian guy and from no where I thought, this is the kind of guy I'd like to father my children. Its funny because he's not necessarily hot or anything, but there was just something about him. It made me smile to think how things that matter to me have changed over the years. 

Before... 

All I wanted was a tall lanky man with broad shoulders and full lips, now I just want a man with a good job/business who can take care of business. 

I wanted a man with a big package and tremendous bedmatic skills... Now, I guess I still want those things (LOL) but more importantly, he must be kind and compassionate, the kind I would easily leave the kids with and still rest easy. 

I wanted a man that was quite aloof, showing interest in me yet withholding affection. Something about being treated with calculated indifference and having to beg for love drove me crazy with passion and made me want a man more... Now I want a man who loves me even more than I love him and is very expressive of his love. One who says I'll call you in 5 minutes and calls in 5 minutes. 

I thought friendship was the most important thing in the world and I'd carry friendship on my head like a gala seller. Now I've realized that friends are important but not that important. Life goes on just as smoothly even without them. It just doesn't matter so much anymore. 

Money was for the clothes I could buy and things I could eat or for the next weekend... Now money is for my kids' school fees, investments, savings, travel perhaps or for the next few years (and beyond). 

Other people's happiness was more important than mine... Now mine matters more to me. I'll never be a truly selfish person even if I wanted to be, but now I let others deals with theirs while I take care of me (my emotions, my physical needs, my happiness). 

People's opinions of me meant so much. I would do (or not do) things based on what others might think of me if I did. Now at 30 I find I don't care that much. I suddenly realize that we all have our races to run and this year I've seen with my eyes that nobody holy pass... So im'ma do me, because I don't know what you do, behind closed doors.


Looking back, I realize so much has changed, so many things that used that matter do not matter anymore, from my taste in men, to the dreams I had and the things I considered important. 


Do tell, looking at yourself 5 years ago, do the things that mattered to you then still matter? What has changed? Ohhhhh, I would really love to know how your idea of the perfect man (or perfect woman) has changed between then and now. Share...


Comments

  1. Looking at myself now, a lot of things which I cherished 5years back dnt matter anymore,as each day passes by,my taste changes and my perfect man is no longer in my thoughts, bfa I wanted a tall guy,with nice albs and pink lips,but right now I just want a man who would love me and make me happy till death do us part.

    Mz indomie says so.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well 2 years ago, all I wanted was to get married to a Prince charming but recently I analyzed marriage and realized it doesn't really benefit women and is too stressful emotionally, mentally and physically. The wahala is how my mummy dearest would take the news of this my new resolution

    I feel at peace with myself and as time goes on will figure out how to have my children

    Marriage is my own opinion isn't for everyone, just the same way we can't all be financially successful. Many are happily married, many are living in dysfunction, many are happily single and many aren't happy being single.

    Selahhhhhhhh

    ReplyDelete
  3. Heyo T, be flexing wella you hear, sha I have never really given this a thought till this question.. what I can say has definitely changed in me is my nonchalant feelings towards friendship, I used to be all about friends, caring about their feelings towards me, trying my best to please a lot of people but now I don't give a fuck, I can be friends with you today having at the back of my mind that we might not be as close as we are now tomorrow. Yeah... that's d one am willing to disclose sef. Lol. Have a fun filled time in where ever you are.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hmmmmmmmmmm,let me reason well,don't think much has changed because from day one I never had this thing called a perfect man in mind, I shaaaaa wanted a man as long as he is a good one with a good heart and would love me more than I love him,so nothing has changed really.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hmmm... My own change came in the last one year. Things that used to get me anxious don't have that power anymore. I think I learned to live in the moment and that really helped, I learned freedom from pain through freedom from time as pain can't be created without constantly looking back at past mistakes and getting anxious about a future I have no control over.

    I also became a lot less materialistic, I still like the finer things and l still try to keep my things clean and neat but I try not to get emotionally attached to items. If someone needs something more than I do I simply give it to them. In the past someone would ask if I had a pair of shoes to spare and I'd say no because I'd think all my shoes are too expensive to give out. Or I'll think a shirt is too fine to let go of, these days I can easily tell a friend in need to go to my wardrobe and pick 3 items without worrying that he'll pick the finest ones.

    My taste in women hasn't changed, I still like sexy flashy women with a hint of sluttiness. I just can't be attracted to any other type. What has changed is that I'm no longer attracted to dumb blondes who don't challenge me intellectually. Or girls that believe everyone should worship them because they are beautiful.

    Then the pain I feel when I see someone suffering has heightened, and I'm not sure I like that.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, and I am no longer the horny rabbit I once was. I still like sex a lot ooo, but I can't get myself to have those one night stands again

      Delete
    2. Hahahahaahhaah Steele, never seen u write so raw like this. Okay now

      Delete
    3. Emm, do a shoe give-away! The men on this blog feel sidelined...selah! Lol

      Delete
  6. Hmmm .. I used to care so much about what people think about me, displeasing myself to please others... I wanted to be liked & be accepted but at the end I got nothing.. I discovered that not everyone will like YOU, no matter what YOU do.. They will always talk, They will always hate..
    Presently I do whatever pleases me & make me happy I do not longer care about what others think.. On the long run is # mind over matters#..

    ReplyDelete
  7. I used to care about what people think about me till I tried to pay my bills with their opinions oo!!
    Also, I never really had a particular type of Man in mind as per looks..but love it when a guy is tall and loves me more. Glad I have both n more I didn't
    Expect.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I never knew i would not care about friends ANYMORE!!! As in it's unbelievable... i almost have zero friends...This is me that thought me and my friends will grow old and die on the same day as the thought of not seeing my friends one day in my life was unbearable. chei!! i have changed...
    well i guess I'm just looking for a friend..that ONE friend, cos my loyalty is on another level..lol

    I think that's about the only thing that has changed about me.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I never really had expectations about Prince Charming as per physical appearances but more about the way the connection and attraction would feel like(MB things), I am more relaxed on that now.
    As for friendship, still have good friends from secondary school, I just take it easy, like most things in life I like mutual friendships, it can't work any other way. Like you Thelma I must take a vacation. Next year God willing, I like how you take care of yourself

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa