Hey guys! I feel like I've been terribly irresponsible, neglecting my blog for days and dragging my feet. I sincerely apologise, I'm so sorry! I have no excuses really, it's just, there's so much to see and do, so many places to go to. I keeping meeting new people so when I think I might get some down time someone suggests something and I find I cannot say no. I'd never considered myself an adventurous person but we learn new things about ourselves everyday (or not...).
You know, I've not slept before 4am since I got here. Earlier this morning I got a sudden crave to shop for chocolates and I got up and went to this mall, at 2am. While at the mall I got talking to this Indian guy and from no where I thought, this is the kind of guy I'd like to father my children. Its funny because he's not necessarily hot or anything, but there was just something about him. It made me smile to think how things that matter to me have changed over the years.
All I wanted was a tall lanky man with broad shoulders and full lips, now I just want a man with a good job/business who can take care of business.
I wanted a man with a big package and tremendous bedmatic skills... Now, I guess I still want those things (LOL) but more importantly, he must be kind and compassionate, the kind I would easily leave the kids with and still rest easy.
I wanted a man that was quite aloof, showing interest in me yet withholding affection. Something about being treated with calculated indifference and having to beg for love drove me crazy with passion and made me want a man more... Now I want a man who loves me even more than I love him and is very expressive of his love. One who says I'll call you in 5 minutes and calls in 5 minutes.
I thought friendship was the most important thing in the world and I'd carry friendship on my head like a gala seller. Now I've realized that friends are important but not that important. Life goes on just as smoothly even without them. It just doesn't matter so much anymore.
Money was for the clothes I could buy and things I could eat or for the next weekend... Now money is for my kids' school fees, investments, savings, travel perhaps or for the next few years (and beyond).
Other people's happiness was more important than mine... Now mine matters more to me. I'll never be a truly selfish person even if I wanted to be, but now I let others deals with theirs while I take care of me (my emotions, my physical needs, my happiness).
People's opinions of me meant so much. I would do (or not do) things based on what others might think of me if I did. Now at 30 I find I don't care that much. I suddenly realize that we all have our races to run and this year I've seen with my eyes that nobody holy pass... So im'ma do me, because I don't know what you do, behind closed doors.
Looking back, I realize so much has changed, so many things that used that matter do not matter anymore, from my taste in men, to the dreams I had and the things I considered important.
Do tell, looking at yourself 5 years ago, do the things that mattered to you then still matter? What has changed? Ohhhhh, I would really love to know how your idea of the perfect man (or perfect woman) has changed between then and now. Share...