A while back, some of my friends and I were talking to a friend's Mum. All are married and some had nasty complaints about their husbands. My friend's Mum listened patiently and then told us a little story.
She said that when she was much younger, a few years into marriage, she used to make her husband breakfast before he left for work in the mornings, then around noon she would also cook and take him food at his office. She said she noticed that most times the coolers came back untouched, but that wasn't even the problem. Everytime she went to her husband's office he was always with one lady or the other. It was rarely ever the same chic twice and these girls were all young attractive single girls.
Heartbroken, she went to see Father in church one Saturday evening and poured her heart out. She expected comfort and sympathy from Father, followed by an irate phone call where Father would summon her husband to the church for some good scolding and condemnation. She was in for a big surprise.
Father simply said "But did he tell you he is hungry? Did he ask you to be bringing lunch for him? Stay at home or get a job, whatever you decide to do just stop going to the office, you have no business there".
To say that Mum was shocked and disappointed would be a huge understatement. So Mum listened and never took food again, daddy never asked for the food and seemed happier, and they both lived happily ever after. LOL.
Last week I listened in on a show on Naija Info and the topic was whether a person should have a say in who his/her spouse hires (or fires) at the work place.
An elderly woman called in and she voiced her opinion strongly; "No No No, you shouldn't have a say in who your husband hires! You have no business with your husband's work place. No business whatsoever!!! You should not even go there." The presenters were surprised and one asked "But ma, what if you want to take him lunch at work, is that ok?" Once again mama echoed "No No No, you don't do that! You have no business going to your husband's office. If he needs lunch he will sort himself out or take it with him in the morning! Don't go there!"
Earlier this afternoon while doing a transaction at the bank, I noticed a particular lady walk in. She was dressed in casual shorts, a Tshirt and flats, and she had a basket covered with a napkin in one hand. She was pretty and cheery and everyone seemed to know her. She greeted the staff genially and went straight to an office upstairs. She came down after about three minutes and left, without the basket.
I gathered she's a wife to one of the ogas and it was obvious from the reaction of the staff that she was a frequent visitor at the office. As I watched her leave I wondered if her husband frowned at this rather kind and thoughtful gesture; bringing the husband lunch at work. Does it, perhaps, embarrass him to have her show up at his work place with baggy shorts, Tshirt, a big smile and a basket of food? Does it disrupt his work flow? Does he wish she wouldn't, but hasn't found the right way to express this particular displeasure? Or does he actually like it? Hmmmm...
Where does one draw the line? Is getting involved in your spouse's workplace really taboo and a sure recipe for disaster? What do you think? Guys would you like your wives to bring you lunch at work everyday? Ladies would/do you do that? Is there really anything wrong with this warm and innocent gesture? (Ladies, let's be honest, this gesture isn't always innocent; what are you going to look for in his office everyday? Issorai. El.Oh.El).