Skip to main content

The Wife & The Workplace





A while back, some of my friends and I were talking to a friend's Mum. All are married and some had nasty complaints about their husbands. My friend's Mum listened patiently and then told us a little story. 

She said that when she was much younger, a few years into marriage, she used to make her husband breakfast before he left for work in the mornings, then around noon she would also cook and take him food at his office. She said she noticed that most times the coolers came back untouched, but that wasn't even the problem. Everytime she went to her husband's office he was always with one lady or the other. It was rarely ever the same chic twice and these girls were all young attractive single girls. 

Heartbroken, she went to see Father in church one Saturday evening and poured her heart out. She expected comfort and sympathy from Father, followed by an irate phone call where Father would summon her husband to the church for some good scolding and condemnation. She was in for a big surprise. 

Father simply said "But did he tell you he is hungry? Did he ask you to be bringing lunch for him? Stay at home or get a job, whatever you decide to do just stop going to the office, you have no business there". 

To say that Mum was shocked and disappointed would be a huge understatement. So Mum listened and never took food again, daddy never asked for the food and seemed happier, and they both lived happily ever after. LOL. 

Last week I listened in on a show on Naija Info and the topic was whether a person should have a say in who his/her spouse hires (or fires) at the work place. 
     An elderly woman called in and she voiced her opinion strongly; "No No No, you shouldn't have a say in who your husband hires! You have no business with your husband's work place. No business whatsoever!!! You should not even go there." The presenters were surprised and one asked "But ma, what if you want to take him lunch at work, is that ok?" Once again mama echoed "No No No, you don't do that! You have no business going to your husband's office. If he needs lunch he will sort himself out or take it with him in the morning! Don't go there!

Wow. 

Earlier this afternoon while doing a transaction at the bank, I noticed a particular lady walk in. She was dressed in casual shorts, a Tshirt and flats, and she had a basket covered with a napkin in one hand. She was pretty and cheery and everyone seemed to know her. She greeted the staff genially and went straight to an office upstairs. She came down after about three minutes and left, without the basket. 

I gathered she's a wife to one of the ogas and it was obvious from the reaction of the staff that she was a frequent visitor at the office. As I watched her leave I wondered if her husband frowned at this rather kind and thoughtful gesture; bringing the husband lunch at work. Does it, perhaps, embarrass him to have her show up at his work place with baggy shorts, Tshirt, a big smile and a basket of food? Does it disrupt his work flow? Does he wish she wouldn't, but hasn't found the right way to express this particular displeasure? Or does he actually like it? Hmmmm...


Where does one draw the line? Is getting involved in your spouse's workplace really taboo and a sure recipe for disaster? What do you think? Guys would you like your wives to bring you lunch at work everyday? Ladies would/do you do that? Is there really anything wrong with this warm and innocent gesture? (Ladies, let's be honest, this gesture isn't always innocent; what are you going to look for in his office everyday? Issorai. El.Oh.El). 




Comments

  1. That reverend father is very harsh sha but what he said is the truth. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lolling @el oh el. I wont go to your office biko, that has to be the height of my joblessness, announcing to the whole world that i'm jobless, take it in the morning or fohgerrit. Its not a taboo, but it can sure be a recipe for disaster, so that all those monitoring spirit girls can start giving you attitude, mbanu!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I can go to his work place if it's for something important,not frequenting the place like its my kitchen. As for lunch either he takes it with him in the morning or he should biko by all means sort himself out. Thelma read through your last paragraph and correct it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nkem please what's the error? I've searched twice but can't seem to find it. Thanks btw.

      Delete
    2. Ok, found it. To that other Anon, do get some manners. Thank you.

      Delete
    3. oya, Nkem please help point it out, cos me no see anything

      Delete
  4. I believe it depends on the man. There are men out there who values their wives food and ll never eat out. Such men ll definitely want the food brought over. That being said...as for me I ll rather not start it cos if there happens to be a fight between us, it's very possible I won't bring the food that day/week and I hate people knowing we fighting. So he eats wherever he chooses..

    ReplyDelete
  5. Gaddamnit future wife! I don't need you bringing my lunch to work every other day. I can sort myself out biko. I'm not a baby, thank you! Warrahel? Na we sabi play love pass? Ptfffffff

    ReplyDelete
  6. My boss gladly carries his well packaged lunch from home in a cool basket. I admire d whole concept.
    Dnt really know abt taking food to ur man's office... Really dats idleness.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Open communication is key. It's cute to wanna be all cute and all do it if it's something he wld want and something u can do.
    Biko how far does ur hubby live from his office that u wld be doing school run because of lunch delivery?

    ReplyDelete
  8. I agree with what Sasha Bone said.

    ReplyDelete
  9. On a very good day, I can send pizza to him via delivery, all this taking lunch to hubby, me I can't o, who gats times for that. When I'm even praying for a chef.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Never been to my husbands office .. If I want to give him lunch, he will take it with him in the morning .. The priest is right and u also don't want his colleagues to use you and do "see finish" ..

    ReplyDelete
  11. And who would bring my own lunch to my office?
    Biko,don't start what you can't finish...its cute tho,kudos to all who do it..
    If you have the time and you both agreed to do so,fine!

    ReplyDelete
  12. well, if the man is the like of Kenneth Abah, he wouldnt mind. otherwise i dont think men like it.

    to the women, if all wives and girlfriends begin bring their food for office, the office bin will run over

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Rev. Father said it all. Good luck to those who are doing or will do it.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Ladies, unless you dropping by to grab a quick quickie, you have no business going to your husband's office.J

    ReplyDelete
  15. My boss brings his breakfast every morning. Madam brings lunch with the driver at lunch but sits in the car while her driver delivers to oga's driver. I can count the number of times she has been in his office in two years - Exactly 3 times, yesterday being the third and first time this year.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Thelma your ebeano supermarket is on fire oh.
    Chai what happens to our Thelma now?
    Sobs*

    ReplyDelete
  17. Where @ thou oh Thelma. Hope you are doing well. Regards.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa