I'm finally feeling like Christmas is in the air!
Anyways..... Just when I was getting depressed over feeling like I'm an ancient dragon, thanks to people not addressing me as sistah, aunty but as ma and madam, something had to go and happen to make it worse.
Yesterday I had a morning flight to catch and seeing as I have some kind of history of missing flights, I somehow overdid it and got to the airport too early, and seeing as I left home before I could have breakfast, I had to get something to eat at one of those overpriced airport fastfood joints. Thankfully just when I was cursing under my breath, wondering why the sandwich which was really just two slices of bread with half an egg cost more than a loaf of bread and a crate of eggs, I heard someone ask the waitress to put my bill on his tab.
I smiled politely in gratitude and carried my tray to a table and as expected uncle asked if he could join me. He was very chatty and started to tell me about his life and his career, turns out he's much older than he looks. Then he asked where I'm from. "Anambra", said I.
"Oh wow. Anambra. I worked there in 1981. But you must have been very little then" he said.
"I wasn't little, I wasn't even born!"
"What? In 1981?" Surprise written all over his face. "What year were you born?" He asked and I told him.
"Wow! Wow! I wouldn't have guess it" he said reflectively.
"Why?" I asked, my heart breaking by the second.
"You just look so, so, so.... mature" he said, lying. We all know the word he was looking for is 'old'!
Guys it's official. I'm 30 going on 40 and this isn't good for business! It's just not.
In any case when I got into town I was starving once again but this seemingly extreme aging made me swear off food for a while so when I saw this smoothie bar I was all over it! Now don't you find it strange how there are so many smoothie bars everywhere. Two years ago nobody would have considered this a lucrative business to have in Nigeria. Apparently this place is doing so well, I was there for about 10 minutes and there was never a lull.
Anyhooooo after a very healthy lunch, I still went and spoilt it by eating heavy food late at night, when I decided to go out for dinner with this guy I met a while back. Brother is fine af! Great job, great hair (yeah I love thick bushy hair on a man), great physique, great prospects et al, but... You see, this "but", I'm just not feeling it.
This guy is a grown man in his mid 30s yet is swears stupidly like a child. The first time I decided I couldn't deal was when he said "I'm so fucking upset, I have a presentation to make tomorrow and i need excel to do it but I'm not so good excel so my colleague promised to help me. Now I'm calling the fucking bastard on my phone and she's not answering". That made me like him less. Then one day we were gisting and I said something funny and he laughed and said "Oh Nwando, you fucking twat!" Hia! Now I liked him much less. Another time he called a "fucking wanker". Still last night I decided to finally go out with him and I can't say I'm glad I did. It was curse-galore.
At some point he addressed the waitress as a "stupid fucking bitch" to her face, all because I said I wanted gizzard and she brought snails. He always sounds good natured and humorous but I do not like it. And when I mentioned it he said "You can't change me. I can't change for you". Would something like this be an issue for you or nah?