Last night I attended a social function with an interesting mix of people. Guys, do you have any idea how terrible it feels to suffer through a crush for several months; months of thinking, hoping, fantasizing... It's pure agony! And then you finally get to meet and talk to this shining object of your mind's desire and the disappointment couldn't have been more overwhelming? Hot damn! Dude spent so much time trash-talking a lot of ladies at the party, and that's just wrong. If you don't respect women, don't share those sentiments with a woman! I'm sorry I just had to vent.
Venting done... For most of the night I found myself being beside a particular chic. We somehow got to talking about personal matters. Then she says to me that she's been carrying a burden, one of guilt and shame. I have her permission to post this btw.
We all know rape is a very serious issue. There's nothing as nerve-wracking and gag-inducing as a man who says "it's not rape if she enjoyed it". I've heard a few fellows say this and it's very pathetic. (Admittedly some women have rape fantasies, but those are just fantasies that are often conveniently devoid of the mental and emotional trauma, oh, the physical ones too). In any case, yes a guy who suggests that someone deserves to be raped because they might enjoy it, or that if a woman enjoyed rape then she has no right to complain, ought to be beaten with a stick!
But what happens when it's coming from the mouth of a woman. A woman who isn't quite sure if she was a victim or not, because although it was forceful, although she begged him to stop, although she said no, although there were even bruises in the course of the scuffle, it turned out to be probably the best sex of her life...
How then does she come out and say she was raped, especially when she didn't want it to stop...
I was surprised to be at the receiving end of such personal information from a virtual stranger, but alcohol does loosen the tongue. And yes, that burden of guilt and shame that she's been carrying is borne because the very reprehensible and criminal act many (women) fight against, was one that she found very pleasurable.
She didn't know what to make of it, and not neither do I. Would you call that rape? Logically and legally speaking, once force is used and penetration occurs it IS rape. But when you find yourself grabbing him tight and begging him not to stop, is it still rape? Does she indeed deserve to feel guilty and ashamed of herself? And now the question that kills her; could she still accuse him of rape? What do you think?