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Can Women Really Handle Being The Richer One In a Relationship?





Several months ago I shared a couple of times about my ex who got someone pregnant while we were dating and soon married her; the one who said "did you really think I was going to marry you, someone that smokes? I was just having fun...", yeah that one. Well he went ahead to marry the billionaire's daughter and they moved from his small mainland flat to their own five bedroom duplex in lekki phase 1, replete with boys quarters, a gardener, two maids, a cook, armed security, an Escalade (for social functions), a Benz jeep for her, a Pilot for him etc etc etc... All gifts from mummy and daddy. And they lived happily ever after. 

Well, no. 

Marriage didn't last a year and these days oga nor dey gree me rest, the toasting no get part 2! Ok, so he's the one I was out with on Saturday night (3rd Time's No Charm), and he said to his friend that this month would make it a year and three months since he's been asking me out. LOL, I didn't know he'd been counting. I ain't ever getting back with him but we're friends again (yes I'm forgiving like that *rme*), and I've become something of a confidant. Oh, did I tell you it turned out wifey not only smokes but also smokes weed? Buahahahahahahahhahaha. What's funny about this is that he claimed he left me because I used to smoke cigarettes. (Lol, actually he left because he wanted to marry a billionaire's daughter, GREEDY BINGO. But the weed part still tickles me)

Well let's get back on track. It seems *Dayo has gone and banded with people in similar situation as his. You know, broke/average boys marrying up. And besides the lavish lifestyle and upgrade from having no international passport to flying First Class, it seems they all have two things in common; misery and regret (You see that picture above, that's what their marriages sound like). Granted, they're living the Lagos dream; driving big cars, living rent free in big houses on the island, partying with the crème de la crème of society, yet in their homes they're nobodies, treated just a little better than domestic staff.
      If I could share with you some things Dayo had to endure in his own home (well, his wife's home) you would be shocked. Trust me, reality is more confounding than Nollywood movies. 

Dayo told me about one of his new cronies who wedded last year. The circumstances are very similar to his; new home in Lekki, cars, business class tickets, with all the other trimmings. Yet this guy is so miserable that he's already looking for a way out. The guy says that the only difference between him and the 'gateman' is that his wife shags him and he lives inside the house. And her family treats him even worse!

Well now Dayo's divorce is almost final and he's already looking for wife number two. But he swears he would rather stay unmarried than marry a woman who has more money than he does. He says he doesn't care if she's from a poor, average or wealthy home, the fact that she has more than he does disqualifies her! He says he's seen too many men being emasculated in their own homes because the woman has more money. 

I'd think that a man from below average circumstances marrying into the upper or upper-middle class could subject him to that kind of humiliation from a wife and her family. And I think that's different from marrying a woman from a similar background than you, yet who earns more money than you. 
      But that seems not to necessarily be the case as that was also the topic of discussion on Cool fm last week. The presenters (Kayla Oniwo and her co-host) asked men if they'd be happy to marry a woman who's richer/more successful than they are. 4 out of 5 men said no, reason being that it's the easiest way to get treated like sh*t in your own home. Blog readers, is this the usual male ego thing, or do women really not handle being the more monied/successful one well?

I'm asking the men here; do you have a problem marrying someone who makes/earns/has more money than you? Ladies, do you think you can submit to a man who earns/makes/has significantly less money than you do? Let's talk. 

Comments

  1. When you make it a Factor, that's when it will affect you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. To be safe it's best not to marry a woman that has more money. Not every woman allows it to go to her head, but to be safe. Meanwhile Thelma I'm surprised your not gloating over your ex, if it were me I will so laugh in his face. Karma never disappoints.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Well I wouldn't like to marry a man that earns less than I earn,You as the head should earn more then I will support.
    Not when we need anything at home, it will always be gaaan meet ya mUUmy!! not like I cant handle it but I prefer the man brings home more,cos most men tend relax once the woman is the breadwinner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ermm, with this your comment, you really don't sound like you can handle it thou..

      LWKMD

      Delete
  4. Its a individual issue. What works for A might not work for B. I have a darling cousin who earns far better than her hubby.They are living in her house. My cousin loves guy to heavens. its even the guy that is misbehaving by running after small girls spending the lady's hard earned money on them. When real love and sincerity is involved. No one will know who is the pilot or passenger in a home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol... So hang on... is your comment for or against marrying men of lower earnings? lol...

      Delete
  5. The truth is that women know when men are marrying them just because of their money and vice versa. In cases like that the treatment above is expected.

    I know a guy a medical doctor now a consultant that married a rich kid. He refused to move to the house given to them by the girls's parents and he is still driving his car though they have many courtesy of his in laws. He gisted us how they had to travel in economy to the US and the in laws were talking behind him that he intentionally wanted to humiliate their daughter.He told his wife they can fly business in their next trip on the condition that they will skip vacation for one year so he can save up.
    The in laws just don't respect him, they fear him and of course detest him but he is ok with that. The wife has no option but to be loyal.

    I will still submit to my husband because like Uyi said, money was never the reason for my submission in the first place so making more or less is irrelevant. J

    ReplyDelete
  6. Well,I doubt it's a general thing. In the cases highlighted above, I'm sure the wives too sensed/believed that their husbands married them because of their wealth and not out of love. On the average, when you marry because of the financial gain, you are indirectly selling yourself into slavery.There are women from poor or average homes who married wealthy men and are receiving the slave treatments too.

    Meanwhile, we should remember that God created the man to be the head of a home. When a man fails and the woman takes charge, she may misbehave badly because has not been wired to take over the headship role in a home. She is made to be a help-mate, a man shouldn't turn her into what God has not intended.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Err F. For the record, your last sentence'she is made to be a help-mate...', you know you can't tell that to them extreme feminist of this world Sha! Lol e.g Linda.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous, assuming you are referring to Linda Ikeji, so because her business is thriving and she's making that cheddar, that means she's incapable of submitting to a man, and it also makes her a feminist??
      There's a fault in your logic.

      Delete
    3. Lol no. Your own logic is actually jaundiced. Read urs and read mine.

      Delete
  7. I doubt my husband has more than me, but he mans up and takes care of home. The problem with all the men you have described is they never stepped up to take care of home. No matter how much a woman has or doesnt have, a man that wants respect in his own home should be the head of the household and that includes not moving into a house provided by your father in law or wife. Stay where you can afford and provide for her within your means irrespective of what she or her father has. If your wife cannot adjust to that then you have bigger issues.

    Sadly they are only going to go and oppress and torture the next set of wives they marry due to what they perceive as abuse in their first marriages.

    If you dont respect yourself, no one will ever respect you.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just found what I was looking for. Pynk chop knuckle

      Delete
  8. Call me a gold digger but I could never marry a man who earns less than me, that's why I married up. I always knew I would marry a rich man but it doesn't mean I'm lazy because I work hard for my own money too. But for a man to earn my respect then he must earn a lot more than me. I'm out.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So what if his business collapses or he is laid off at work and you are earning more what happens? you stop respecting him?

      Delete
    2. I support u annoy 11:48. but in circumstances like annoy 12;56 says.... if (God forbid) there is a collapse in his business that's when me the wife who is the supporter comes in to raise him up (two are better than one...if one falls the other raises him up) after all he had been doing everything before as the man hence he still earns my respect knowing he never is a gold digger, circumstances just had it's way.

      Delete
  9. Marrying "someone who makes/earns/has more" is relative statement, it usually depends on the difference in wealth between them. A man who earns 100k a month wouldn't normally have a problem marrying a woman who earns up to 2 or 3 times that amount, but would think thrice before marrying someone who earns almost a million.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol.. Really?
      I suspect responses on this thread are cracking me up more than they should. But these posts are really funny.
      Some interesting statistics you have there...

      Delete
  10. These men figured they could marry up and be kept and respected. Rude Awakening!!! You are either kept or respected. Mutual exclusivity. A kept man can never demand respect.

    ReplyDelete
  11. When a man marries for money, everyone knows that. And that is the reason he will not be respected. I categorize men thus: all males are born with testicles. But only men have balls. When you abdicate your responsibilities as a man, you will not be respected. When a wealthy woman marries a cobbler, who supports her and stands his ground, there will be peace. She may pay the bills but everyone knows he's the man. That is the support a woman needs to glow and grow.

    On the other hand, some women can't handle the dizzying effects of wealth. They disrespect everyone one because of this.

    Greedy men pretending to be good. Come up North and see them jostling to marry girls with rich dads.

    Mallama

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All males are born with testicles. But only men have balls.

      Mallama 9/12/2015

      Delete
    2. Lol, Mallama just wrote her name in history. I'll never forget this quote

      Delete
  12. A gold digger shouldn't really complain about how they're treated abeg. If your only requirement for a spouse is wealth, then you get what you deserve as someone who was bought and paid for.
    Lots of women exam more than their husbands, and you'd never know because the men aren't sitting on their butts claiming head of household but not actually doing anything.
    I actually earn more than hubby, getting married made my family wary because they were worried he might be a gold digger. That was so far from the truth. Looking at us now, you couldn't tell because he's highly ambitious, takes care of business around the house. His pride would rather we go the simple route rather than do what he can't afford. He's narrowing the salary gap rather quickly, and already earns more than some of the same family members that were looking down on him then.

    ReplyDelete
  13. A gold digger shouldn't really complain about how they're treated abeg. If your only requirement for a spouse is wealth, then you get what you deserve as someone who was bought and paid for.
    Lots of women exam more than their husbands, and you'd never know because the men aren't sitting on their butts claiming head of household but not actually doing anything.
    I actually earn more than hubby, getting married made my family wary because they were worried he might be a gold digger. That was so far from the truth. Looking at us now, you couldn't tell because he's highly ambitious, takes care of business around the house. His pride would rather we go the simple route rather than do what he can't afford. He's narrowing the salary gap rather quickly, and already earns more than some of the same family members that were looking down on him then.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Matter of fact I know someone who married a girl who's father is one of the top 50 wealtht men in Africa - thry live in the rented apartment he lived in before they got married and she drives the Highlander her husband bougt for her. Her daddy's money is to be continued - and she flies premium (not business oh) even though her father has a private jet. So yeah your "friends" sold themselves very cheap and i want to say they deserve the treatment they have gotten.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  15. Of course!!!! Why won't you submit to your husband especially when you love him and who makes the most money should never be the problem

    ReplyDelete
  16. It one thing to marry a richer wife, its another thing to have her foot the bills cos she's richer.
    Women respect success.
    If money is your only claim to respect, then sir, im sorry for u.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So at what point does my richer wife's money come into play?

      Delete
  17. Nothing like a Benz Jeep Thelma,it's either a Benz or a jeep, Anyway I'm sure it was an oversight, next time proof read. please don't be like Linda who never accepts corrections!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Nothing like a Benz Jeep Thelma,it's either a Benz or a jeep, Anyway I'm sure it was an oversight, next time proof read. please don't be like Linda who never accepts corrections!

    ReplyDelete

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