Several months ago I shared a couple of times about my ex who got someone pregnant while we were dating and soon married her; the one who said "did you really think I was going to marry you, someone that smokes? I was just having fun...", yeah that one. Well he went ahead to marry the billionaire's daughter and they moved from his small mainland flat to their own five bedroom duplex in lekki phase 1, replete with boys quarters, a gardener, two maids, a cook, armed security, an Escalade (for social functions), a Benz jeep for her, a Pilot for him etc etc etc... All gifts from mummy and daddy. And they lived happily ever after.
Marriage didn't last a year and these days oga nor dey gree me rest, the toasting no get part 2! Ok, so he's the one I was out with on Saturday night (3rd Time's No Charm), and he said to his friend that this month would make it a year and three months since he's been asking me out. LOL, I didn't know he'd been counting. I ain't ever getting back with him but we're friends again (yes I'm forgiving like that *rme*), and I've become something of a confidant. Oh, did I tell you it turned out wifey not only smokes but also smokes weed? Buahahahahahahahhahaha. What's funny about this is that he claimed he left me because I used to smoke cigarettes. (Lol, actually he left because he wanted to marry a billionaire's daughter, GREEDY BINGO. But the weed part still tickles me)
Well let's get back on track. It seems *Dayo has gone and banded with people in similar situation as his. You know, broke/average boys marrying up. And besides the lavish lifestyle and upgrade from having no international passport to flying First Class, it seems they all have two things in common; misery and regret (You see that picture above, that's what their marriages sound like). Granted, they're living the Lagos dream; driving big cars, living rent free in big houses on the island, partying with the crème de la crème of society, yet in their homes they're nobodies, treated just a little better than domestic staff.
If I could share with you some things Dayo had to endure in his own home (well, his wife's home) you would be shocked. Trust me, reality is more confounding than Nollywood movies.
Dayo told me about one of his new cronies who wedded last year. The circumstances are very similar to his; new home in Lekki, cars, business class tickets, with all the other trimmings. Yet this guy is so miserable that he's already looking for a way out. The guy says that the only difference between him and the 'gateman' is that his wife shags him and he lives inside the house. And her family treats him even worse!
Well now Dayo's divorce is almost final and he's already looking for wife number two. But he swears he would rather stay unmarried than marry a woman who has more money than he does. He says he doesn't care if she's from a poor, average or wealthy home, the fact that she has more than he does disqualifies her! He says he's seen too many men being emasculated in their own homes because the woman has more money.
I'd think that a man from below average circumstances marrying into the upper or upper-middle class could subject him to that kind of humiliation from a wife and her family. And I think that's different from marrying a woman from a similar background than you, yet who earns more money than you.
But that seems not to necessarily be the case as that was also the topic of discussion on Cool fm last week. The presenters (Kayla Oniwo and her co-host) asked men if they'd be happy to marry a woman who's richer/more successful than they are. 4 out of 5 men said no, reason being that it's the easiest way to get treated like sh*t in your own home. Blog readers, is this the usual male ego thing, or do women really not handle being the more monied/successful one well?
I'm asking the men here; do you have a problem marrying someone who makes/earns/has more money than you? Ladies, do you think you can submit to a man who earns/makes/has significantly less money than you do? Let's talk.