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Dear Thelma... (My Fiancé Doesn't Want Me To Succeed!)

Thelma I will try my hardest in order for this mail not to sound like a rant. I am a very hardworking man in my early thirties and last year I left my bank job to pursue business which I knew would be more lucrative if I worked very hard. When I was leaving the bank my girlfriend didn't like it, she said I should be patient and in a few years I would have advanced or maybe get a raise, I didn't want to exist on peanuts for the next years of my life so I left. Business has been fine andI'm making enough to begin to plan for my own home. I love my girlfriend and she's the woman I planned to marry but now I'm starting to have doubts. I noticed that she's not happy whenever any big job or contract wants to come my way. For some months I've been chasing a contract with one ministry and I know how much I've spent in "sorting" people just so that when bidding starts I can get the contract. Last week I got a call from the ministry and Its looking like I might get it. The first thing I did was to call my girlfriend out of excitement and share this news with her. I could have called my mother or my brothers but I called her first. Imagine what she said, she said she is happy for me but she doesn't really want me to get it so that I don't get too much money and decide to leave her for other girls. Can you imagine that kind of thinking? I know it wasn't said as a joke because she is never comfortable when I talk about pursuing bigger contracts. It is my belief that a wife is meant to pray for her husband and want the best for him, how can I marry somebody that is praying for good things not to come my way because of her own selfish reasons? Like I said, I'm beginning to rethink my plans to marry her, although generally she is a good person. Please what would you advise me to do ?


  1. Your girlfriend is a destiny killer not a fiance. While many men have been known to make money and forget their wives or women who struggled with them, a woman who doesnt want you to soar without you having misbehaved first does not deserve a front row seat in your life.

    My prayer is for my husband to be successful and impactful beyond his wildest imagination. It's the same prayer I pray for myself...and I pray he never gives me a reason to think otherwise.

    You girlfriend doesnt want you to soar, she wants you to be at the bottom or just comfortable so her insecure ass can feel in control.

    You have a brain- use it and do the needful. If she was heading someone or had real goals for herself she would encourage you and also step her own game up.

    Yeye dey smell.

  2. Talk to her about it.. If she doesn't change pls move on with your life.. Everyone needs a supportive partner.

  3. Eyah,see what African Magic has taught our women,na wa o.
    Poster, its not her fault,pls forgive her thinking.The truth of the matter is most men actually do not remember the women that struggled with them when maga pays.
    Talk to her and make her understand if she doesn't wish you well in life then she isn't worthy to be your woman, because behind every successful man,lies a woman.

    1. Hahahahaha! Na real African magic
      D babe is very insecure and it's unfortunate that she just couldn't hide it. Pls u guys shld talk and if t persists calmly leave her alone.


  4. If she's a good person as you have said, then help her see a bigger picture. Make her believe she's the one.
    Cos' it seems her problem is her fear of losing you and she's not convinced enough. SO CONVINCE HER!!!!

  5. No advice. Sometimes the immaturity in us speaks. Its no big deal. Scold her for saying such crap and then continue the love relationship.

    Unless she is a winch and wishes you evil.


  6. Are you sure she wasn't joking when she said that? If you are, you need to have a very stern, very serious conversation with her. Tell her your interpretation of what she said(she doesn't want you to succeed) and how you feel about it. some people are really insensitive like that, and the bible says the mouth speaks out of the abundance of the heart.

    So, dear bros, talk to her and while doing that, read her body language. If she remains indifferent, you need to start praying for a wife that will pray for your business to grow. If she's the one, she'll change, if not, you'll find her soon enough.

  7. lol.To be fair to your fiancee, i think she is insecure not necessarily wishing for you to remain poor, come on , who no like better thing.Her fear of losing you or you dumping her is making her act out.

    This is what i advice, sit her down and reassure her that she is the woman for you.Remind her that she has been there in the times of little so you will not abandon her in the times of plenty.

    Make her understand that her support will spur you on in securing a good future for both of you and your kids. That she needs to become your prayer warrior and no 1 fan.

    Then the most important, KEEP YOUR WORD ABOVE. Do not become a reason for another sister to pray for a guy to remain poor.J

  8. Oh I forgot, after all that reassurance if she remains like that, i fee aka man. J

  9. Insecurity is all I see here,like everyone suggests, talk to her. Wish u luck.

  10. Talk to her. Shes definitely insecure and I suspect you have probably given her some reasons to be that way. I like that she's spoken her mind no matter how foolish her thoughts sound. Also try and understand her background, her fears and Let her understand your success is hers. hopefully she'll change.

  11. Talk to her..she doesn't wish u any less. She's just insecure. U need to reassure her and don't give her reasons to doubt u.


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