There's this commenter on one of my fav Nigerian blogs who also happens to be the famed one time Head-Girl of Queen's College, whose myriad of academic achievements are internationally recognized. I love her comments because they're often brief and quirky. But one thing I find very interesting about her is her views on monogamy which she often expresses on infidelity/marriage posts. She often states that monogamy is unnatural and its pursuit is futile. I always find it funny because I guess I still view her as an efico, lil miss nerdy goody two shoes. LOL.
Last night I caught an episode on TLC with Jodie Marsh trying to get to the bottom of cheaters and cheating. She interviewed a number of people. One was the CEO of a dating website which provides services for married people looking to have extramarital affairs. The website is still fairly young yet it has a turnover of over $20,000,000. The creator said the site has over 2,000,000 registered users worldwide, both male and female. He also said that most of the users were between the ages of 30-40. The noteworthy thing about it all is that, according to him, most of the users love their spouses and don't want to split, but just want to try something different which is only natural.
One married man on a date with a lady who allowed himself to be interviewed without showing his face, said he doesn't feel guilty even though he has a lot of affairs..., but NO he doesn't want divorce. When asked why, he said he loves his wife very much. He said; "she's my partner, mother of my children, we talk, watch tv together, eat together, we have a history together and I love her very much. She is the woman I married! And I would also understand if she has a few affairs too, it doesn't mean we don't love each other"
Another person that was interviewed is an owner of a Private Investigation company. She said she has a lot of clients and based on her investigation business which she has run for several years, women cheat more than men. She said men tend to be more paranoid (maybe women aren't paranoid because we already kinda expect the men to cheat?) but women cheat more. She said; "Of the people we investigate 80% of the women are guilty, 50% of the men are guilty". "But then it's only normal" she says, "human beings are designed to cheat. It's in our nature, everybody has it in them".
And this right here is the same view my afore-mentioned commenter holds; monogamy is unnatural, humans weren't designed to be faithful to one person and the sooner we accept that, the easier our lives would be.
And maybe she's right. Maybe monogamy is ridiculous and acceptance is key. After all, research has shown that open marriages are happier and last longer than traditional marriages. (Could that be why Will Smith and Jada's marriage has outlasted most Hollywood marriages?)
Anyhoo, what do you think? Is monogamy really unnatural? How do you feel about sleeping with the same one person for the rest of your life? Have you ever cheated on a partner? Would you prefer a monogamous relationship with a secretly unfaithful partner or an honest polyamorous relationship? Do spill!