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Monogamy Is Ridiculous!

There's this commenter on one of my fav Nigerian blogs who also happens to be the famed one time Head-Girl of Queen's College, whose myriad of academic achievements are internationally recognized. I love her comments because they're often brief and quirky. But one thing I find very interesting about her is her views on monogamy which she often expresses on infidelity/marriage posts. She often states that monogamy is unnatural and its pursuit is futile. I always find it funny because I guess I still view her as an efico, lil miss nerdy goody two shoes. LOL.

Last night I caught an episode on TLC with Jodie Marsh trying to get to the bottom of cheaters and cheating. She interviewed a number of people. One was the CEO of a dating website which provides services for married people looking to have extramarital affairs. The website is still fairly young yet it has a turnover of over $20,000,000. The creator said the site has over 2,000,000 registered users worldwide, both male and female. He also said that most of the users were between the ages of 30-40. The noteworthy thing about it all is that, according to him, most of the users love their spouses and don't want to split, but just want to try something different which is only natural. 

One married man on a date with a lady who allowed himself to be interviewed without showing his face, said he doesn't feel guilty even though he has a lot of affairs..., but NO he doesn't want  divorce. When asked why, he said he loves his wife very much. He said;  "she's my partner, mother of my children, we talk, watch tv together, eat together, we have a history together and I love her very much. She is the woman I married! And I would also understand if she has a few affairs too, it doesn't mean we don't love each other"

Another person that was interviewed is an owner of a Private Investigation company. She said she has a lot of clients and based on her investigation business which she has run for several years, women cheat more than men. She said men tend to be more paranoid (maybe women aren't paranoid because we already kinda expect the men to cheat?) but women cheat more. She said; "Of the people we investigate 80% of the women are guilty, 50% of the men are guilty". "But then it's only normal" she says, "human beings are designed to cheat. It's in our nature, everybody has it in them". 

And this right here is the same view my afore-mentioned commenter holds; monogamy is unnatural, humans weren't designed to be faithful to one person and the sooner we accept that, the easier our lives would be. 

And maybe she's right. Maybe monogamy is ridiculous and acceptance is key. After all, research has shown that open marriages are happier and last longer than traditional marriages. (Could that be why Will Smith and Jada's marriage has outlasted most Hollywood marriages?

Anyhoo, what do you think? Is monogamy really unnatural? How do you feel about sleeping with the same one person for the rest of your life? Have you ever cheated on a partner? Would you prefer a monogamous relationship with a secretly unfaithful partner or an honest polyamorous relationship? Do spill! 


  1. Honest polyamorous relationship biko... Maybe I can even join in d fun *wink*

  2. End time is here, even when the Bible has clearly explained it?uhhhh God help us. Can't get tired of sleeping with one partner, never, you cheat because u already have it in MInd that cheating is normal and can't be avoided. I so disagree with the above TLC analysis.

    1. Why should a woman therefore remain in the shelf till age 45 when she could jolly well and get married as second or sixth wife to man who can afford to share life responsibilities with her?
      Why should a woman leave a man with whom she's No 1, simply because took a second wife and end up being numberless in the hands of several men with whom she naturally shares bed just because of some doctrine she hardly understand?

  3. Honestly it's not the thought of sleeping with the same person for the rest of my life that scares me, it's finding that the person can't sleep with only me for the rest of her life.
    I won't open my mouth and say I'll never cheat because I have in the past but I have felt the pain it can cause and I don't think I ever want to feel that ever again.

  4. I don't believe monogamy is unnatural. I think many people nowadays are just unwilling to stick it out with one person for the long haul. Truth be told, variety is the spice of life and the appeal of cheating can be overwhelming. Still, I'd like to believe that Love between a man and wife can hold its own against the alternative for no one would like to be the one cheated upon. As to my preference, a monogamous relationship cuts it for me. If infidelity comes along the way, then we'd cross that bridge when it comes.

  5. Maybe I'll agree that monogamy is unnatural but this is not so for the one who's born again. Being born again, you become a new creature n the real you becomes your Spirit n not ur body so there's nothing natural about you anymore. Your body now becomes a house where you live in while the real you becomes ur Spirit. now, the HolySpirit in us bears the fruit of self control which causes us to supplant our human nature through the word of God.Rom 12:1-2. Having said this, I don't expect spirit filled Christians to think polygamy because we live by a different set of rules which is in God's word. The problem I see is that believers in God have refused to differentiate themselves from the world. We always want to go with the flow n forget that although we're in the world, we're not of the world. It is one man one woman relationship. Do not be equally yoked with unbelievers. Dare to separate yourselves as children of light. No one said it's easy but bible says "not by power or mIght but by the Spirit". We're made to understand that in the last days, it will be hard for people to follow Christ and so I see why Christians think it is ok to live by the dictates of the world. Remember your house you live in doesn't tell you when to stay indoors or go out so don't let your body tell you what to do because it is only a house for the real you (your Spirit). Control your body by the Spirit of God that lives in you. I've got so much to share but I'll stop here for now. :)

    1. Oh please keep it coming! We need more nuggets of inspiration like this!

  6. None of the above biko.
    Monongamous + secretly unfaithful, polyamorous + honest?!
    Olorun ko ni je ki nnkan buruku sele si wa!

    1. Hahaha, kabuoy is that you?

  7. Besides what the new testament says against polygamy, nothing good ever comes from it..only ends in distrust and pains. Anyone saying otherwise deceives themselves. What's bad is bad. Tell me why all the secrecy about it. It gets old after some time and only ends in heart aches. Nothing is truly happy in it for long.. my two cents.

    1. Tell this to the traditional monarchs in Nigeria...

  8. The moment you start to accept that polygamy is only natural, how far do you go? Would cheating with one person do it for you? No? Maybe two... or three? Ten? Twenty? Thirty? ... how far down the rabbit hole would you need to go before you find satisfaction?
    Anyway, for me, this us a no brainer, because my Bible is very explicitly clear on this. And let him or she that is weak ask the Lord for Grace.

  9. Merry Christmas in Arresars to Thelma and the whole Faily,

    Wish you all God's love and unending joy this season and forever more.

    And Yes Monogamy is possible....

    1. Glad to have you back! been a whileeeeeeeee. Compliments of this merry season.


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