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Not Going Nowhere In Lagos!




My dear Lagosians please what the heck is happening? Moving around has become a nightmare! This started a few weeks ago and we thought it was just one of those things but slowly and steadily it's only gotten worse. Yesterday I spent hours trying to get into surulere from the island. Later in the evening after spending hours trying to get back to the island I gave up and turned the car back around to my parents' home, and even that took another one hour from my life. 
     I woke up very early this morning thinking I could beat the traffic, at least leave the house before 7am. 7am on a Saturday morning, that would usually be a breeze getting back to the other side of town. Alas, I got to Masha road and I saw it was blocked all the way to the stadium and beyond. I turned around and tried to connect Western Avenue from Gbaja. I saw people doing one-way there and I was informed that Western Anenue was blocked. These days people in Surulere have taken to going to Yaba to get to the island but this morning it was impossible getting to Yaba. And this was barely 7am! I then decided to go through Eric Moore, off Bode Thomas and thankfully that route hadn't occurred to many people. Still there was a bit of traffic on there, especially with the loooooooong fuel queues. 

I eventually got to the island and it was barely 8am yet even along Lekki-Epe express road heavy traffic had already built up. Would you believe that the fuel queue at Forte Oil at Lekki 1st roundabout was so long that it almost got to the tollgate? Dear Lord!
     When I eventually got home I shut the door firmly behind me, swearing not to leave home for anything. Except love or money...

And well maybe to go check out the new Shoprite. I've refused to go see the place because I feel like I have a personal vendetta against them but my friend insists we should go, that I'm only wasting my energy being angry. But can you blame me? Don't you think this is the height of  disregard of the masses' welfare by the government? The residents of that axis of Lekki, Ajah and Epe are already caving in under the weight of the traffic, caused by the fact that all residents of these areas have ONLY one road linking them to the Island.
      Jakande roundabout causes some nerve wracking traffic on a daily basis. On weekdays if you don't get across the road (from the Oando filling Station to Jakande) that should take 5 minutes or less before 6pm, you could find yourself stuck there for 3 hours or more. Now it's at this same Jakande roundabout that the new Shoprite is situated. From what I hear it's even bigger than The Palms. Residents of this area better start taking overnight bags to work because shit is about to get real. It baffles me, why would they permit such a place to begin operation knowing the state of traffic in the area when they're yet to provide alternative roads or a relief from the current situation. Money money money, that's all my people know!

The whole thing is just tiring and Ambode needs to fucking wake up from whatever drug-induced slumber he's in. I see the Lagos that Fashola toiled to build falling apart, and very quickly too. 

Imagine how I'm ranting barely 6 days to Christmas. Aaaargh!

My fellow Lagosians is anyone else experiencing the pains of this traffic situation? What are we going to do to get by, how do we enjoy the Christmas? Please talk to me. 

Comments

  1. Ikeja city mall built an extra lane for its customers to and from the mall but no, customers and commuters at Jakande hv to contend with both Shoprite and Mobil filling station traffic. Town planning is dead in Lagos.
    As for the fuel queue, its gonna be a long Christmas.
    And if ur gonna blame Ambode for sleeping on duty after Fashola on the state level, then on the federal level,...lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm tired of stressing about Lagos jare. Let me just laugh at some Thelma *soundbites*

    "...after spending hours trying to get back to the island I gave up and turned the car back around to my parents' home, and even that took another one hour from my life..."

    "...Would you believe that the fuel queue at Forte Oil at Lekki 1st roundabout was so long that it almost got to the tollgate? Dear Lord..."

    "...I shut the door firmly behind me, swearing not to leave home for anything. Except love or money..."

    "...Jakande roundabout causes some nerve wracking traffic on a daily basis..(and)the new Shoprite is situated (there). From what I hear it's even bigger than The Palms (LOL). Residents of this area better start taking overnight bags to work because shit is about to get real..."

    "...Money money money, that's all my people know..." (hahaha)

    "...Ambode needs to fucking wake up from whatever drug-induced slumber he's in..." (have you noticed the swag in his steps? Too much gbedu cos am).

    Thelma don't get grey hairs overnight biko. Live free. Haha.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hahahaahaha,I thought I was the only one who experienced this around my area yesterday, I was going to ikotun yesterday and I had to take a bike to my bustop before taking a bus to my destination, from my bus stop to a the last roundabout around my area is just 1mins drive,but guess what?I ended up spending 50mins,I almost wanted to cry,I was late for my appointment, no bike could ply the main road cos its more like an express, by the time our bus got to the said roundabout, we discovered it was the long fuel queue all the way from igando down to my area,for this that ain't familiar with my area,its like say from oshodi down to Ikeja along,that's how mad the queue was. I hear there is crazy traffic everywhere, as for me I would just have to sit in my house if it's gonna b like this,funny enough PHCN ain't helping matters either. Mr Ambode plsss wake up from your sedative induced sleep biko.

    ReplyDelete
  4. The traffic has been really crazy.
    We were gonna have a small party for sunshine and our little princess(kid sis who was a year older on the 30th of Nov)
    I got home at a few mins past 10pm on thursday, Sunshine got home 12mins past 11pm, we were already asleep. Yesterday, I got home at about 8:30pm compared to 6:45pm or 7pm on normal days. some days you get home you just want to cry... or you wake up at 5am and wonder if you really really need the job.. lool.
    Yesterday morning, I really wanted to call in sick but my conscience didn't allow... lool! I just tire mehn!
    I think it's the December rush.. especially these past few days.
    It is well!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hahahahaha all I see is the Roadmap of Lagos ooooh! Lol

    ReplyDelete
  6. When I yell to all who cares to listen that the traffic in lagos has the tendency to reduce the lifespan of its inhabitants they think I am just saying. Well my name is BLINK and I am just trying to make COMMON SENSE #inBenBruceVoice.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Totally agree with you. Lagos traffic reduces life span. Made the error of visiting ikeja. I ran out of fuel (full tank) from ikeja to lekki. Had to do off n on kick starting d car.

      I hv like 3 kegs in my boot, jumping up n down for fuel. So so sad. Even dollar is now 280/1 USD.

      Which way naija.

      Delete
  7. Epic - I was in traffic trying to go from VI to Ikoyi at 10.30 pm. It took me 2 hours. Today i erred and got on lekkk express way Chevron to Lekki 1 2 hours. I will be staying home. What8it is can wait.

    www.pynk360.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. Has anyone seen this meme yet? "Good children of God please stay and remain where you are, except you're on the road, the traffic in Lagos road is for sinners!" LOL.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    2. What did you write that you're removing ehn?

      Delete
  9. Lol, Thelma ti binu.

    The traffic in Lagos these days is not for the faint hearted. On Thursday, I must have spent at least 3 hours in traffic trying to get home from work and I closed late cos I was trying to wait out the traffic, it was just horrible.

    I have resorted to water transport to get to and from work these days, no time to waste sittimg down in traffic. And I dont leave my house on weekends unless it is absolutely necessary. I cant wait to get out of Lagos for the holidays and just rest from all the craziness.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Assin ehn Sunshine,ferry is my friend these days,I think the Govt should try to make water transport more affordable and efficient to take more people off the road in areas where there is water.
      I also try to sleep in the traffic to increase my sleep time when I use road#no time. Thelma I learnt something happened at Ojulegba bridge yday maybe it also affected everywhere,there was traffic everywhere yday but luckily for me,it was always on the adjacent lane to the one I was on.

      Delete

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