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When You Marry a Beast...

"Happy birthday my husband and would be ex-husband James Alphonso Campbell (AKA emma sillah) the most wicked and violent man I have ever known in my life.May this day be the beginning of the time you will pay for all your crimes. May God never allow you to skip judgment and may your wickedness be serve as a birthday cake as you celebrate for the rest of your life.As you turtured me day and night when I was in your house may the laws of this country catch up with you one day . I survived your cruelty towards me because God was on my side but now is the time for the whole world to know the marriage I was in and why I used my hard earn money to file for divorce. See you soon in court James A Campbell" 

I just found this birthday message from a wife to her husband on Laila's blog, and for the life of me I cannot imagine why a man would do this to a woman, much less his wife! It beats me. Please what do we blame for this Inhumane treatment many Nigerian wives seem to be enduring these days? Is this a recent epidemic or is social media just bringing domestic violence to light? I can't remember hearing of so many DV issues when I was growing up...

That said, my friends mum uses dentures because daddy has knocked most of her teeth out. The last time she was beaten nearly to death she finally agreed to leave. Thank God! However after a brief visit to the pastor, mummy was brought back home, to continue enduring daddy's pounding. Did I also add that daddy occasionally brings his mistresses home, during which mummy is relegated to the guest room? Oh, and all the kids are grown and independent so mummy can't claim to be "staying for the children". Unfortunately she happens to be a good Christian woman and an obedient daughter, so when Papa says a virtuous woman does not leave her husband, she goes back home. 
     My question is, shouldn't there be exceptions to this "divorce is never an option" shii? Why do some pastors insist on wives staying even in the face of death? Is that their translation of "till death do us part"? I just don't gerrit!


  1. I also don't gerrit!
    Love wld always be a beautiful thing but marriage is starting to sound like a battlefield...

  2. God frowns at divorce granted. God also implored men to love their wives as Christ loved the church right? Meaning if they did, divorce wouldn't be an issue. Women who stay in abusive deadly marriages cos of the Christian faith have also failed or maybe forgotten to understand that God also said in all things, get wisdom. Now can a dead woman do anything? No. Can the one who has had miscarriages due to beatings get her baby or babies back? No. In this case, the man has mistresses right, meaning he has committed adultery, setting g the wife free. Biko, I do not support such. Why be alive but dead?

  3. The Catholic Church permits the separation of a couple, if there is a repeated battery and threat to life. Also it's a known issue that a lot of people stay put for long periods in abusive relationships.
    Stockholm's syndrome is another matter.

  4. Na wa!!! I'm short of words.

  5. Whor da herizdis?grrrrrrrr I am seriously upset right now.Anor dey like this kain thing at all.God plz Don't allow this happen to me or anyone I know.see his face like bedbug.

  6. "...However after a brief visit to the pastor, mummy was brought back home, to continue enduring daddy's pounding...". See why I say these people (Rapists included) ain't normal? Forgiveness on fleek (in Sasha bone's voice).

    1. Dude. Were you ever raped? Whats the deal man? Even when the topic is not about rape you somehow always bring it up.

    2. And Memphis, I saw what you did there.
      Its like comparing a horseWhip to semiautomatic. Btw

    3. Yeah well...rape is just a sexual sin. I forgot. Sorry.

    4. Lmao,Memphis and Uyi, both of u should leave me abeg,u guys just crack me up.

  7. Hian! Should we now start to buy guns,arrows and spears as wedding gift to newly wedded couples ni?cos the way ladies get battered these days ehn it calls for serious training o.

    1. Rotflmao, pardon me, I jyst had to laugh. Sounds like a good idea though

    2. LMAO

      seriously though I too don't get it, even if you don't divorce just stay away from the halfman before he kills you!

  8. It beats me too.... I went for a meeting one time addressing DV... and one of the women that ministered had been a victim. the most repeated statement that day was pray for your husband. The one who beats and kicks you like there's no tomorrow. That one. In fairness she talked about taking cover but it was too downplayed. And I had to ask my mom what purpose the meeting served.
    I had to leave at some point... before I got upset. I don't get it too.

  9. If any nigga puts a finger on my daughter he is dead meat. Im seeing it as a case of attempted murder. If my daughter wants to stay with him its her decision, sebi he is her husband. But me Ill deal with the man. Guns and knives and some serious torture. Tie him up naked smash his balls.


  10. I think social media is just bring this violence to light. Its been there and I don't know how gutted I am right now.
    These are the kind of people that will make me, one day, kill someone.

    I am definitely not sure he would want to fight with a fellow man like this. I just don't know how else to say this without getting too emotional about it!

    When you experience violence in Marraige, why wait for so long? Why continue? Any pastor tells you to stay, tell him to go and replace you.

    Okay, let's look at it from the man's Side. He's angry, maybe things are not working for him. He's getting miserable and he knows no one else to vent his anger but you. This becomes his experience albeit a bad one. If this experience doesn't make him a better person(to change), of what good is he to you as a wife anymore? Run AWAY!!!
    A man who can forgive himself is a man halfway towards liberation (spiritual and physical). And those men who continue, find joy in it. So RUN

  11. God hates divorce hence the Chruch frowns at it.However, according to Paul instances where adultery takes place the bible permits divorce but both partners must remain unmarried.Also, they are only permitted to remarry if one of them(either the man or woman) dies. Going ahead while their partner is still alive is considered an adultery.

  12. Why would anyone remain in a marriage in which she receives the punching bag treatment? As for mummy, is Pastor God? Is he is flesh and blood like she is? I seek council from my Pastor but I decide ultimately because it is my life afterall and I too can converse with God without an intermediary.

    God hates divorce truly but so does He hate murder and suicide....


  13. A look at this lady took me to memory lane. Wasted years, empty life. A man that will beat you in marriage starts in courtship. Some ladies lie to their inner mind by saying he will change. I laugh in Ghana. Some say they are staying because of their children. Some are beaten and dragged out naked in the presence of their children. Some hate the stigma of being called divorced. Some are so afraid no man would ever talk to them again if they leave the marriage. Some are afraid of the unknown. Some are even used to the beating that it means nothing to them anymore. Domestic violence is the worst thing that can happen to any woman. I talk from first hand experience. So many women are dying in silence. Thank God for Powder and make-up. Some claim to stay for the sake of their children, Some are preached to stay back with the promise that he will change. Lie of the devil. One thing is sure, Those beatings you receive as a younger woman from an adult husband will affect you in old age. Old age with complications. Your teeth will no more eat meat. Your bone gets worn out. Tears'''' I dread the sound of domestic violence.

  14. Ladies, marriage is like business. It promises a lot of goodies aka profit but has its’ risks. Some risks aka flaws are minimal while some are huge. If before going into this business you envisaged a huge risk don't venture into that business.
    Now there are unforeseen risks which may be hidden or triggered in the course of doing this business, you must prepare yourself for them by.
    1. Love yourself aka high self esteem, so much that you can survive on that self love alone.
    2. Please please have a source of income do not depend on anyone else.
    3. Have respect for yourself that way no one can afford to disrespect you without consequences.

    I do not believe in divorce and I meant my vows when I said for better for worse but the institution of marriage was to bring forth life (through procreation)amongst other things NOT TO TAKE LIFE.
    So when your marriage puts your life in danger it has gone far and beyond what the institution stands for, leave. Separation is allowed to preserve life and that also includes scenarios of serial cheats because STDs take life too.

    If you turn me into a punching bag I'll rent a place and leave you. If like too short , you are acting out because things are not working out for you, no problem brother , I will move out pending when things start working out , I refuse to act as your punching bag in that interim. Parents need to scrap that stay there and die mentality that boat has long sailed. J

    1. A billion likes for ur comment J,am with u on this one,u just saved me the stress to type.

    2. This is the smartest comment I've seen on this blog so far. It's just too sensible. And it applies to both men and women.
      Never ever is there smoke without fire.


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