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Saturday, 28 February 2015

Etcetera Puts Celebs And Their "Dream" Houses on Blast!




Again, I’m going to go out on a limb here to talk on a subject that may not be very popular or nice to Nigerian celebs, especially the guilty ones. I have said it severally that just because someone is a celebrity doesn’t mean they are smart. They may have a talent or skill but many of them are not smart especially when it involves their finances. The old saying, “your lies will come back to haunt you” has never been more true than the recent cases of D’banj, Iyanya and Wizkid who are being kicked out of their homes after lying they owned the properties.
The residents of blogosphere boulevard were stunned when the news broke that D’banj got an eviction notice from his landlord and was also said to be highly indebted. Yes, it is hard to believe that someone of D’banj’s status could actually be thrown out of his house. But for those who know that the Nigerian entertainment industry is built on lies and more lies, it didn’t come as a surprise or a case of a cranky landlord. Entertainers are well rehearsed liars. They are not what they make you believe they are. Even the upcoming artist with just one song on radio issues a press release that they’ve bought a mansion in Lekki Phase One and a Range Sport SUV?

There was a time when it was strongly whispered that Don Jazzy and his crew owned Club Jonzing until the truth came out. You must have also heard that D’banj owns Koko Lounge. My brothers and sisters in habit of believing everything you hear, I wish you all knew how your favourite celebs laugh in their closet seeing you swallow the lies like fufu and draw soup. Let me give an example of how some artistes can be terrible liars, we were on a tour of five Nigerian cities with Basketmouth and his then Humour Unlimited monthly show sponsored by BAT. When we got to Enugu, a certain artiste was snoring like a broken trailer exhaust pipe in the bus on our way from the event centre to the hotel. I tapped him hoping to stir him up to reduce his noise but I was shocked when he woke up immediately swearing that he wasn’t snoring, that he was only trying to get our reaction. Our reaction? After snoring for about 20 minutes with a trail of saliva from one corner of his mouth to his shirt collar! O’boy some people can lie in Africa.

Did you hear it on breaking news when Iyanya bought a house in his dreams? His management must have thought it was a fantastic promo strategy then. If only they knew that not far into the future, Iyanya would be dragged by his balls across the floor of the internet, and that his aggrieved brother would take to twitter to inform everyone that Iyanya had been evicted (not from Project shame) from his dream mansion. Yes, it is double wahala for deadi-bodi and the owner of deadi-bodi but won’t it be tripple wahala for Oritsefemi and his management when fans eventually discovered that the N200m mansion he purportedly bought some months back was actually bought in his dreams and not in the real world? How much does he charge per gig and how long has he been playing these gigs to be able to afford a mansion of that amount? Isn’t it wonderful how naija entertainers think their fans and everyone else is shallow and gullible? 

Common sense should tell every artiste that these lies won’t achieve anything but hurt their careers in the long run when the truth is eventually revealed. Like it was revealed this week that Wizkid’s car hasn’t been paid for. True, some naija musicians make a lot of money, but not the kind of money they want you to believe. Does Oritsefemi look the part of a N200m house owner even with all his body cream? The telco brand ambassadors who are being coerced into lying about their endorsement fees can’t make such a preposterous claim not to talk of someone with no endorsement deal.

I shivered when I saw in some blogs over the week that Genevieve just bought a house in Ghana for a whopping $4m. This will go down as the grandmother of all lies told so far. Genny baybay, you should have asked yourself if there’s any house worth $4m in the whole of Ghana, except you bought the Ghana National Theatre which by the way may not be worth $4m. These lies are getting dumber by the day. The worst thing that can happen to any man is believing his own lies. 

If we had a system where entertainers are taxed for their acquisitions, the ridiculous and unnecessary lies will stop. They will speak the truth and nothing but the truth or so help them God.

Home Schooled 10 Year Old, Esther Okade Accepted Into University To Study Maths.


Yesterday morning I was on the phone with my bestie who was sounding very frazzled and exasperated. What's the matter? I asked. So bestie has decided that till her 2 year old can start school after the election she's going to home school him. My bestie who's due to have another baby in a week or two was trying so hard to teach her son, who turned 2 just last week and is naturally very restless, how to count to 10 and say his ABCs. She said he must start reading perfectly by 4. What's the sudden fuss about? I asked. "Oh, you've not heard of the 10 year old girl that just got accepted into Uni? And she was home schooled o!". Quite frankly I didn't pay my friend any mind but I just stumbled on the little genius' story. 


Ten year old genius Esther Okade has been accepted to study for a university maths degree - despite not going to school. According to Mail Online Esther, from Walsall, West Midlands, has enrolled on an Open University course months after she passed her A-levels - and wants to study for a PhD before running her own bank. The girl, who gained a C grade in her maths GCSE aged six, has joined the course which started this month. Her younger brother Isiah is already studying for his A-levels - also aged six. 

Ten year old genius Esther Okade has been accepted to study for a university maths degree - despite not going to school. According to Mail Online Esther, from Walsall, West Midlands, has enrolled on an Open University course months after she passed her A-levels - and wants to study for a PhD before running her own bank. The girl, who gained a C grade in her maths GCSE aged six, has joined the course which started this month. Her younger brother Isiah is already studying for his A-levels - also aged six. 


She said: ‘For now we want her to enjoy her childhood as well as her maths. By the time she was four I had taught her the alphabet, her numbers, and how to add, subtract, multiply and division. ‘I saw that she loved patterns so developed a way of using that to teach her new things. I thought I would try her with algebra, and she loved it more than anything.’ Esther stunned her parents last year when she achieved a B grade in her pure maths A-level. She applied to the Open University last August - and after a phone interview, an essay and an exam, she was told in December that she had been accepted onto the course. 


Her father Paul, 42, a managing director, added: ‘I cannot tell you how happy and proud I am as a father. The desire of every parent is to see their children exceed them, and take the family name to great heights, and my children have done just that.’.


*****
I've read a lot about children that are home schooled; an idea behind it is that (traditional) school limits a child's knowledge, stifles their creativity, stunts their intellectual growth and narrows their horizons. And there's also the question of how much we're taught in school we actually use in real life? You often hear adults say another day has passed and I've still not done a thing with algebra. I know home schooling isn't really recognized in Nigeria yet but what's your take on it? Would you rather your child be home schooled or are they better off in schools? And err, please before you decide to home school your child make sure you're not a dunce! Thank you. 

Open Keypad. No Holds Barred!!!





Good morningggggg! I hope everyone's doing fine? Do you know it's the last day of February and March begins tomorrow? The second month of the year is over, after March comes April and then it might as well be December. LOL.

What's your year been like so far? How's school? How's work? How are your studies? What's happening in your relationship? How's marriage? How are your finances? Have you achieved any of the things you set out to at the start of the year? (I have, 2 actually, YIPPEEEE), Do you have any testimonies to share? What are you thankful for? What are you mad about? Are you happy, heartbroken, sad, indifferent, in love, out of love with someone who loves you...?

I want to talk about everything! 

Those of us on the Abstinence journey, how have you coped? What do you do when the urge strikes? How have you been able to maintain your relationship without sex? Have you lost a relationship or a prospective partner because of your choice to abstain? How long have you been on this abstinence path and how much longer do you think you can stay the course? And, why have you chosen abstinence/celibacy?

Those of us who are sexually active, what is the ABSOLUTE worst sex you've had? And what's the greatest? (Let me define GREAT sex; it's that kind of sex that makes you scream I love you over and over again during coitus even when you absolutely don't. It's the kind of sex you can't wait to tell your besties about the next day. The type that even three, four, five or ten years later you still remember every detail and your toes curl! Yes, that's sex, it's not ok, it's not good, it's freaking great!!! And if you're sexually active and you're yet to experience that, I feel bad for you Hun. LOL), and who was it with??? 

For the celibate and uncelibate alike what questions would you like answered about sex?

Speaking of questions, what questions would you like answered about anything at all that you just can't seem to find the answers to?

How's life treating you?

It's open keypad guys! Let it all out. 



Friday, 27 February 2015

Blue and Black OR White and Gold. What Colour Is This Dress?




Ok, if you haven't heard about this controversial dress then your head is obviously buried under sand. So I'm just going to cut to the chase and ask Please what colour is this dress? TTB readers the world is filled with psychos, weirdos, sickos... LOL. But I know y'all are sane and I can trust your judgement and your SIGHT. So tell me what colour you see. 

The dress above has got everyone talking- CNN, TIMES, folks on Twitter, Instagram. People are clashing over what colour it is. You would think everyone would agree on what colour it it but no, the debate has been going on for two days now. Some say it's white and gold, some say it's blue and black. 



Thursday, 26 February 2015

Dear Thelma..., (Confused Blog Reader Needs Your Advice)





Thelma I am very confused but I will try not to write an epistle. My boyfriend is a very good man with heart of gold but I don't love him. My problem now is that he wants to marry me, everybody is expecting us to get married especially his family and I don't know what to do. The problme is that he has been very good to me, I am like an orphan, my father abandoned us for our step mother and her children since I was a teenager and my mother got married to another man and has other children now, we still talk once in a while but we never see even though we are both in nigeria. When I go to the east I don't bother to look for her and when she comes to Lagos she don't bother to look for me or my siblings. All my siblings are married so in my family it is O.Y.O everybody is on ur own, Thelma that is y when I met my boyfriend and he offered to help me I accept. I really liked him n I thot it will grow to love. His family is quite rich and he is doing very well. He paid for a very expensive professional course for me to boost my cv (I did not ask him to), he helped me to move to a better apartment n paid for it too, his people  worked my service to a state dat his brother is into politics and they worked my service to the governor's office, after service his other brother got me the job where I am working in Lagos. They have been very kind to me and they involve me in their family activities, I try to escape but his sisters will come to my house n pick me up, sometimes they even sew asoebi for me, when they travel they shop for me. I really like his family very much as thy have embraced me as their own, but my main issue now is now that my boyfriend has finally said he is ready to start making the marriage arrangement. I have tried and tried to love him but it didn't happen. I like him very much but I have no attraction for him, before I could manage it but now if he touches me I feel angry. I have refused him sex for 2 months now and I don't even want to sleep in the same bed with him again, how do i break up with him now, how do I tell his family dat I dnt want to marry him after everything they have done for me. Or should I just marry him because of all the help they have given me? Pls you guys shud tell me what to do because I am confused.

Blog Reader Is Looking To Meet New Friends!





I am a young lady in my late twenties, a graduate, Christian, lives in Lagos and still believing God for a job. I hardly go out and so don't have friends or get to meet people and its beginning to bore me. I plead that you use your blog to hook me up with Godly friends between the age of  31-45. The friendship might result to something serious if its God's plan.

I am a calm, loving and committed person and you will greatly enjoy my company.
Please, unserious people and married men should keep off. I only need responsible and serious minded persons preferably christians.

Interested persons should contact me through Thelma. 



***
If you're between the ages of 31-45 and you're interested, don't hesitate to send me a mail. The blog reader said she is looking to make friends, so it can be platonic friendship, it could be just to have someone to talk to, but if it goes farther and leads to love, that would be great too!

Also of you think you can help the blog reader with a job or you know someone who can, please send me an email too. Thank you. 

There have been requests for Singles Mingle on the blog, that's coming soon. For now if you're interested in making new friends feel free to send me a mail like the one above. However, if you're looking for a romantic relationship please be above 25. 

"Last Post as a Single Girl." Lola Komolafe's Story of Heartbreak andUnexpectedly Finding Love.






“At this point in my life I’m looking for a partner and husband not a boyfriend. I’m at that stage where I feel a certain way about love and partnerships; I’m not in any way afraid of it. I’m looking forward to it and get it done with.” 18/11/2013 I wrote this down in my diary at the said date after an encounter with God after work. 
I was seeing this man that I thought I had everything going on with, you know the usual back and forth we go through during dating. Being an indoor person, he spent most of his weekends at mine, we would go out for breakfast, brunch and just chill. He was the perfect companion at the said time, smart, witty and full of life. 
He once questioned what I thought about people checking the compatibility of their partners in some prayerful way. I told him, I didn’t believe in such crap and he said, he didn’t too. He said even though he’s a christian, he is also from a Muslim background and his aunties take these things so seriously.  I kept that an the palm of my hand for future reference.
I was in church one Sunday evening for the communion service and the reverend went:
‘Sister Lola, you haven’t introduced your partner to me, when are you two getting married.?’
‘Rev. I don’t know to be honest but we are still taking our time.’
‘You are old enough to ask him questions about where your relationship is headed and that doesn’t mean you are desperate.’
‘Okay, Rev. I’ll talk to him about it and let you know. Thank you, sir.’
After the communion service, the Rev invited me to the pulpit and ask that everyone should pray for me. I thought that was weird but I continued saying- AMEN!
The next morning, on Monday- it was a new month and I sent a long text to my bf, praying for him, for us and for our future together. I didn’t get a response, and i called him out of curiosity. No response either. I ignored and continued with my assignment at work. He called back hours later sounding so lost and forlorn. 
‘Hey, I don’t think I can continue with this relationship. My family member went to check your name and they said you are not the right person for me.’
‘Huh? Check my name? For what? Why? I thought you said you didn’t believe in such. You’re a medical doctor in the 21st century and you still believe in such?’
‘That’s what they want and I’m sticking to their decision. I’ve known for months now, I just didn’t know how to tell you but I can’t keep deceiving you.’
Bombshell! 1st of November! “Oh Sweet Lord, what have I done wrong? Why is this happening to me? Why have you abandoned me, Lord? Why me? I prayed to you last night, heck, the whole church even prayed for me! Where do I start from? I’m going to be 31 in few months with nobody to call my own? What will I tell my friends? What will I tell my family? God please please….” My whole body was shaking the entire time. I ran into my colleagues office and called my cousin.
‘Marcy! *I busted out in tears. I was wailing, uncontrollably. I couldn’t say a word, I was just crying. Marcy, help me. please’
‘Lola, can you tell me what the f**k happened?! Why are you crying?! Did someone die?!’ She hung up, called my aunt to find out if someone had died. Called me back and asked if it was my boyfriend. I said, yes. 
“He dumped me. I didn’t do anything wrong, but he dumped me. He said he checked my name from his ‘Alfa’ and they said i wasn’t the one for him”. I couldn’t stop crying. 
‘OKAY. Calm down. I guess you should be lucky that someone like that dumped you then. If you’re not married to him and he’s visiting some random person to check your compatibility.
My boss’ wife sent me an email to do something for her and asked casually if all was well. I started crying, typed my predicament in tears. No, Mrs. J….I narrated again.
She sent me to church saying- ‘Just go to church and pray the Lord should forgive him.’ I didn’t question why I should pray for someone who just told me to get out of his life. I closed from work early and went straight to church, in my tears, I prayed that the Lord should forgive him and turn my tears to joy.
‘Lord, I’m tired of trying to figure my life. I’m tired of thinking I’m the best thing that can happen to any man. I’m tired of loving and getting hurt in return. I’m tired of so many things Lord, please wash me clean and use me for your glory. Lord, I don’t know how you are going to do it but please, turn my sadness into joy and make me happy again. ‘m really sad but I look to your throne of mercy, have mercy on your daughter.’ I prayed and cried. I cried and prayed. 
After the service, I felt relieved of all the happenings around me and continued with my daily routine. God answers prayers and I am a living testimony of His goodness.
My testimony wasn’t delayed or postponed, because I met my husband through a friend 2 weeks after I got dumped and we got engaged 5 months later. The month I got engaged, I heard that my ex got married a month after he dumped me and few months later he passed away. He died. I could have been a widow, I could have been so many things but God…The Lord brought me out of that relationship and gave me a man who wouldn’t live a day without me. We got married 27th of December, 2014 in a lovely outdoor ceremony at home in the presence of our loved ones and family members. God never forgets His own.

***
Source; Lola's blog www.aprillaugh.com

I Waited For You.


"...So today I'm going to let my yes be my yes and  my no be my no.
I vow that sometimes I will fail you. 
I vow that sometimes I will fall short. 
But in failures and shortcomings I wont tap out, I wont give up. 
...I vow not to buy into false romanticism, saying things like "you complete me", 
because you don't. 
In Christ I have already been made complete, the head over all. 
So I vow not to attribute glory to you that only belongs to God. 
To you and only you today I commit, 
to you and only you I submit, with an attitude...
The attitude of Christ Jesus. 
...God loved me enough to give me you, and so I vow to you my last breath.


I Waited for You by Janette McGhee Watson
Wedding Vows - September 27th, 2014
***
Good morning world! While searching through YouTube for nothing in particular, I found a blessing, I found Janette McGhee. Some of you may know of her, I didn't until last night. I watched the video below of her wedding vows and lord knows I had no idea when I started crying. If you love poetry, if you love spoken word, or if you just love love, you need to watch this. May we find and be found by someone who would inspire such words in our hearts one day. Amen.


Wednesday, 25 February 2015

The Pre-Work Beach Stopover.





The sea breeze on the skin of my face

Transports me to a different time and place

With dreams and possibilities that my arms open to embrace 

With laughter and love that's never displaced

Contentment and peace, which history can never be traced

Head held to the sky, shoulders high, utterly divine grace!

Where is this place and who is this woman

No care in the world, no burden in her heart, no baggage dragging at her ankles

In her eyes I see a thousand stories

They've been heavy with tears, there's been hurt, there've been battles, they've been gory

But look further still and you can see great strength and even greater glory

They look on in awe yet they could never tell 

that time and again life tried to knock her down, but she never fell

It seemed she carried with her some socerer's potent spell

Which she poured on a wand and turned to Heaven every little hell.

Her laugh rings loud and pure, clear as a bell and it's wakes me from my reverie

I see the people around look at me, brows raised questioningly

What do they want, why do they stare so unabashedly?

I wonder, and Aha, I see it, that woman with the laugh; loud and pure, that woman is me!



***
He came to pick me up for work early and suggested we make a stop at the beach, I obliged. It's been  a while since I stood close to the water and felt the salty breeze on my face. It was a beautiful moment. Really makes one muse... 



I really should have taken off my shoes, but my mind was already in work mode. LOL. 


Good night guys. I should start heading home now, I thank God for a beautiful day. How did yours go?

Do You Agree?





Hehehe. True or False? Do tell. 


...when I was 'in the world' I thought so too. Shhhh! *runs away* 

Who Knew That Being a Contract Staff Might Be The Worst Fate To Befalla Person???





I never knew that people working as contract staff feel this way. The only person I know who's a contract staff works with Mobil and earns about half a million monthly (as we were told), and seems not to have any complaints.

While I've never thought it's anyone's dream to be a contract staff, I never thought it was so horrible either till I saw these.

"currently a contract staff with an old generation bank, its a very shameful job that at times u will be crying deep inside asking God why you are facing this humiliation.the full staff are always happy to wash you down and the company itself will keep reminding you of your position as an outsource staff by adding the acronym OS to your name so that the whole world will know your logo that you aren't a core staff(in reality,my fellow OS colleague in my branch work like mad on various platforms while some of those core staffs will find it difficult to even fill a deposit slip correctly)

like I used to tell my colleagues, we are like apprentice here,we just need to learn anything learnable and leave the organization(conversion isn't in their agenda again) with our experiences which will be an asset to us.

if you are suffering with inferiority complex, dont take this type of job offer."


***

"I believe my wife's experience counts as mine, so I'll share hers since I haven't been a contract staff grin. She was engaged by one of the most pungent outsourcing organizations ever to exist on this earth, and resident in Nigeria. SOL. First of SOL demands that you do not get pregnant within one year of employment or you will be fired. They pay shi.itty salaries like N33,000 to N40,000 flat every month angry, despite the fact they receive much from the principal companies. The worst was the 'still unbelievable' thirteenth month salary of N5,000 my wife got in December. Worse still, the paltry salaries are paid late into every month. You complain about working conditions and you get fired the next week, so what is achieved is a ready team of zombies who must work without complaining. A contract staff of three years thought he had escaped the category and spoke too eagerly, he found himself on the job market the next week. My wife worked with Sterling through SOL and used her paltry salary to take passport photographs of prospective customers, made photocopies of docx and in one instance, her HOP made her deposit one thousand naira into a prospective customer's account in order to open that account. She absolutely had no choice in the matter. Gosh! Contract staff are used to run errands in the office by bi.tchy superiors and my wife escaped that because 1. She was married 2. She stamped her feet and 3. I paid a visit to the bank one fine day in my legal attire...lol. She left both SOL and Sterling this February and if you think bankers (both permanent and contract staff) are happy, you should hear the requests that were made to her to help them in her new organization if there was any space... request like "Abeg even if its N60,000 per month, I do tire for this yeye job!" Organizations like SOL should not exist in any sane society! Really! angry". 

***
"I joined a major pension firm in Nigeria as a contract staff, a company that if u mentioned its name , all ur friends will just scream ,baba o! (like too much money, u knw what i mean)

I worked my head off, did my supervisor’s(full time employees) job without stress and i never complained to them, but trust me i was complaining to God. I kept my attitude intact, never felt inferior , and never allowed no one talk to me as trash.infact if u talked me down, i would use a much more calmer tone and give u my piece of mind calmly(u sef go know say na condition make crayfish bend) .I got several promotions that would earn me like additional 5k or 8k or 10k(but really what would that amount do for a grown person in 2013)

The worst part is that as long as i was a contract staff, it was affecting my opportunities of getting employed in a good firm, maybe because they usually felt that the pay they are offering is way bigger than what i was earning" 

***
"It's not just encouraging and interesting anymore being a contract staff to any company.

I have over the years been a victim to contract staff to Multi. National and Conglomerate companies.

There is no job security getting contract jobs in Nigeria. I have had enough experience in running Million Dollars worth of goods in Warehousing and Distribution of goods most especially in the Telecom sector.

These Telecom operators give out their entire logistics services to third party service providers which are all not indigenous companies using we Nigerians as their human resources to deliver their projects. It is always bitter when you know you are only signing up for a contract job only to last for a year of two maximum."

***
"It's not bn easy working as a contract staff. It's as if you are working for another man to eat undecided. Monkey dey work and baboon they chop tinz grin. Its even more painful when you realise that you are far better than most of the direct staff in the organisation. 

The only hope that keeps me going is the fact that NO CONDITION IS PERMANENT."


***
"The most painful part of it is seeing the company you are working with as a contract staff to sideline you (for not been their main staff) when giving end of the year bonus"


The above comments were gotten from Nairaland.

Has any of you worked as a contract staff? Is it really as bad as they say it is? Is this really how badly the contract staff in your work places are treated?

Please enlighten me. 

The *peepee* Factory!




Bad sex has ruined so many relationships that one entrepreneur opened up a Penis Factory. Here, women could come and pick out the penis of their dreams for their boyfriend before marrying them.
A woman decided to check it out but was given a very strict rule to follow first:
There would be 6 rooms, one penis in each. Once she left a room, she could never return. Either she chose that one, or she left for good.
  • Room #1’s Penis description read: {This can be made as long, short, thick or thin as you want.} She thought that was nice, but didn’t want to be too quick to choose. So she walked to the next room.
  • Room #2: {This can be made any size AND shaped to your liking.} She liked this one better…but decided to look at another.
  • Room #3: {This can be made any size and shape, and will come with unlimited endurance and erection.} “Wow!” she said as she dreamed of the sex she’d get. However, she couldn’t fight the curiosity of what the next room might hold. So she left.
  • Room #4: {This can be made any size and shape, unlimited endurance and erection, and also will come with increased romantic creativity and athleticism.} “Okay, now this is getting good!” she thought as she pondered the hot and wild sex she could have. She liked where this was going, and kept looking.
  • Room #5 did not disappoint: “This can be made any size and shape, unlimited endurance and erection, increased romantic creativity and athleticism, AND comes with a high credit score, a love for God, and a faithful/monogamous heart.” She screamed, “Yes!” and almost grabbed the penis from the shelf, but then she remembered room #6 sprinted to it.
When she got in, there was only a note that read, “Sorry, no more penises left but there is one very important lesson. It doesn’t matter what you have. If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never feel like you have enough until you end up with nothing. Good bye.” – Derrick.

******
You hear that people; 
It doesn’t matter what you have. If you don’t know what you want, you’ll never feel like you have enough until you end up with nothing. (But is it so bad to continue looking till you get the best for yourself? LOL)

What If God Was One Of Us...



If God had a name, what would it be

And would you call it to His face
If you were faced with Him in all His glory
What would you ask if you had just one question...


...What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us
Just a stranger on the bus
Trying to make His way home

Tryin' to make His way home
Like a holy rolling stone

Back up to Heaven all alone
Nobody callin' on the phone
'Cept for the Pope maybe in Rome


Who else used to love that song? 

Good morning guys! Having slept very late last night I only just woke up and felt this urge to talk to someone. I reached for my phones but realized that I had 0 units on both phones; I'm that sort of person that spends hours on the phone with my closest friends talking about absolutely nothing. Little wonder both phones had run empty... I thought about sending the security man to get me airtime but then I realized I wasn't quite ready to get off the bed yet, and there really wasn't any one I felt like talking to. 

That was weird, I really really had the urge to talk to someone and yet I couldn't think of anyone. And then I realized the person I wanted to talk to is God. BUT I did not feel like praying, not at all. I wanted a conversation (:a talk, especially an informal one, between two or more people, in which news and ideas are exchanged.), an actual conversation, to talk and be talked to. 

Dang! The things I would say if I could have a conversation with God; you know, sit with Him on a coffee table, sipping cappuccinos and eating scrambled eggs while we have that much needed chat. Oh the things I would say! 

I'd have a lot of questions about my life I'd like to have answered, but I would also want answers to some amebo questions; did all the disciples make heaven (except Judas of course), for instance... Oh, and how do you feel about the fact that you created ISIS militants? Are some people born gay? 

Guys, if you could meet with God in person and have a friendly chat with Him, what would you tell Him? And if you could ask just one question, what would you be? Who am I kidding, you'll have more than one question. LOL.

Another thing I'd like to know is this; would you be happy with Him, upset, mad, angry, and would you give Him a piece of your mind, whether good or bad?

Talk to me...



Good morning guys, while we cannot have that one on one, we still and will always have prayer. Remember to say your prayers if you haven't already done so this morning, and remember to pray for one another. Have a beautiful day. 


Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Blog Reader Wants To Know How Often You Wash Your Bra. I Want To KnowAbout Your Boxers...



I was chilling with some girls and they were talking about hygiene...So they asked how many times is okay to wear a bra before washing it? Biko come and see answers,some said a week, some said more....I was shocked! Biko help me ask female blog readers oh? Me I wear mine for two days after sun drying it the first day.


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I remember many years ago my classmate said to someone; you should wear your bra at most three times and then you wash. So since then it kind of always stuck; 3 wears = 1 wash. We were in JS2 btw. 

Be honest, how many times do you wear your bra before washing it? Don't be ashamed, go anonymous if you must, just say it. LOL. And err, I hope you know we're not asking about panties because it is assumed that EVERY lady wears her panties just once... Just saying. 

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Speaking of undies, a similar argument ensued with the guys recently when a friend of mine was listing MUST-DOs for the boo. She said he must wash his boxers everyday, he mustn't wear a pair of boxers more than once (before washing) because that's simply gross! The guys lost it, in fact from the argument it seems that men wear a pair of boxers for one or two weeks before they even think of tossing it into the hamper. They argued that boxers are not pants/briefs so why on earth would they wear it just once and wash. We argued that they serve the same purpose and gather the same amount of dirt. 

So guys, tell us, how many times do you wear your boxers before washing?

Obnoxious Female Lawyers, Arranged Marriages and Nigerian Wives in theDiaspora.





I am engaged to be married very soon. The whole thing was arranged by our parents but so far so good. My bride to be is a lawyer practicing in Nigeria while I live in the US. We have met 4 times when I had to come down specifically to spend time with her and to plan our trad which is slated for June. My issue is that almost every body who means something to me outside my family does not support the idea. They insist that female lawyers rarely make good wives. I mean virtually every good friend i have including my mentors are advising me against it especially since she will join me over here soon. Even though my wife to be seems nice, I discovered she like arguments and does not back down in certain issues which I feel I should preside over. It has not escaped my thought that majority of Nigerian women in the US often start misbehaving and maltreating their husbands when they come over and witness the cultural difference. Truly our women over here are heavily messing up. As a matter of fact, a close friend of mine who stays at Indianapolis has gone down this same path and ended up in jail. He is now serving a 7 years  sentence for aggravated assault and attempted murder. Please I need your opinion on this because honestly, I am scared. Can a lawyer make a good wife. 


"Oh wow!" was the expression I had when I read the above mail. And then while searching for images of female lawyers online I stumbled upon the post below:

"75 percent of female lawyers in Nigeria are not submissive to their husbands.
Their pride often consumes them most especially when they're more successful than their husbands. I am about to make a life long decision and i need your reasonable contributions.

What are the challenges of living with a female lawyer?"

Ok, obviously everyone knows this except me. Yes I've heard it said before but I always thought it was said in jest. Or I thought it was simply presumed that women like to talk, and then one that argues for a living, in addition to her inherently talkative nature might be too much to handle. But I never thought people actually take this seriously. 

Yeah, people have said "Ah, I can't marry you o! Female lawyers are too stubborn and argumentative, and they cannot submit", but it's simply a joke, right? Well apparently it's not...


So please who else takes this stereotype seriously? Do you know any man that is having or has had a difficult marriage because he married a lawyer? And I'm sure most of us have lawyer friends, are the female ones among them difficult to get along with? Do tell.

That said, that poster raised other factors in his mail that I think we should talk about. 

Who else finds it amusing that there are still arrangee marriages? Seriously people, this still happens? Ok, quite frankly I see nothing wrong with arranged marriages, but I find guys who need to have their parents find a wife for them very suspect. I mean, there are single women swarming around like bees everywhere, what is so wrong with you that you cannot get yourself one? No, if my parents should tell me they're arranging a marriage between me and some guy, no matter how handsome/rich/successful he is, I would think he's a sociopath and I will immediately take to my heels! 
     

Then;
"It has not escaped my thought that majority of Nigerian women in the US often start misbehaving and maltreating their husbands when they come over and witness the cultural difference. Truly our women over here are heavily messing up. As a matter of fact, a close friend of mine who stays at Indianapolis has gone down this same path and ended up in jail. He is now serving a 7 years  sentence for aggravated assault and attempted murder."

What does he mean by "heavily messing up"? In fairness I've heard about Nigerian women brought to the diaspora by their husbands and the minute they get there, they become totally different people. Some men will tell you it's better to marry and akata babe than to bring a Nigerian woman to join you in the US/UK. 
     But look at the second part of this paragraph; he is blaming the Nigerian woman because his friend has wound up in jail serving a 7 year sentence for aggravated assault and attempted murder! Buahahahahahahhaha. Heavily messing up indeed! I guess it must really suck that you cannot hit and physically abuse a woman and get away with it. I guess it sucks that you're in a country where there are laws, laws that actually work, laws that put you in check! I can just imagine what his friend must have done to his wife that got him 7 years behind bars! Yes, men do this everyday in Nigeria and nobody makes a peep. Haha!

So Nigerian wives in the diaspora, why are you ladies (thought to be) heavily messing up? 

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Finally, that poster above does not sound to me like someone who is psychologically ready for marriage. Please people, if you find a good woman, marry her, whether she is a lawyer or not. Female Judges however... err, topic for another day. LOL.

Smart Money With Arese Ugwu- A Letter To My Daughter.


We all need to read this.

The Mothers-in-law and The Boundaries They Don't See.




Good morning guys! I look forward to reading @conniegirlswag chitchat. I hear people used wet nurses in the old days when the mothers either weren't healthy enough to breastfeed or just didn't want the breasts to lose it's youthfulness and bounce. But... The thought of someone else suckling my child makes me really squirmish. 

But besides this, let's talk about mothers-in-law who don't understand or respect boundaries. During the weekend my friend's mother-in-law visited and the woman walked into their room late at night and just wouldn't leave. When she was all talked out she laid on their bed and slept off. My friend was appalled! Her hubby had to go sleep on the sofa and my friend shared the bed with her mother in law. This isn't the first time the woman would do something like this. She has simply refused to respect or acknowledge any form of boundary. 

What would you do if you walked in on your 73 year old mother in law breastfeeding your 3 month old baby?

But wait, are her mammary glands still producing any milk? Just what exactly was that woman doing? Oh dear...

How do you cope with mothers in law that take the piss?

Monday, 23 February 2015

Day 1.





Good evening awesome people! So here I sit at my desk, thinking; how I wish there's a bed and I can just sleep over and continue tomorrow, going home after 9 only to come right back tomorrow seems like way too much stress. But that's not why I'm writing, I thought I'd check in with you guys, and of course update you on the goings-on in my life, for those who care to know.
    It's funny how there's always some romance hovering around me anywhere I find myself, and even when it isn't part of the plot I work it into the story. 

Just as I was approaching the gate this black jeep slowed down beside me and then came to a halt. I tried to use 'side eye' to see who was in it but no luck, the glasses were all tinted black. Hia! I didn't want to approach the vehicle because, well I don't know if this has ever happened to you but, it's one of the most embarassing things ever when you think a car has stopped to give you a ride then as you approach it, smile gratefully and make to open the door, the person in the driver's seat looks at you with befuddlement and mumbles that they hadn't stopped for you... Ouch! LOL, well this has never happened to me but I always imagine that it could, so I never stop to look till I'm very certain it's me that's being called. 

But speaking of rides, let's talk about the first one. I was walking to go get a cab earlier in the day and I knew it might be a long walk before I found one, I desperately didn't want to be late on day 1. Then this car pulls up beside me and still with 'side eye' I saw the toothy grin and the welcoming smile, beckoning me in. I'd never been given a ride in this type of car or by this type of person, but there's always a first time right? Just in case you're wondering it was a very beat up golf that must be at least 20 years old and the driver, I think, is a mechanic. He was so pleasant and had a very gentle smile and he went out of his way to get me to my destination. On getting there I thanked him and he only muttered "Such is life" and chuckled. Bless him...

Yeah, so back to the mystery man behind the black tinted glass. I didn't stop till I heard my name; "Oando!" (some people have refused to accept that my name is (n)wando, not much I can do about it). I stopped in my tracks and looked into the car. It was him, my House on The Rock toaster, the one I told you guys about back then... Well after several unreturned missed calls and cancelled dates he gave up on me, then he travelled to the US for a training, then returned and went offshore, then got a place in Bonny where he is most times, then started calling me again but gave up once again... Well he's been back in town for about a week now and apparently he lives just two buildings away from my new job. Haha!

And yes, he's picking me up after work and taking me home too. Yippee, God please let everyday be like this. LOL. Amen.

The job itself holds promise but it poses a threat to my (social) life so I'm also looking at it just as I do the mysterious people that slow down beside me on the road; with 'side eye'. But I cannot deny that I'm happy and I'm looking forward to more. 

So, how was your day? And how was your first day at work? Were you nervous, were your colleagues welcoming or hostile? Did you immediately fall in love with the job and the work place or you felt dubious? Do tell!


To the Anon in the last post; how do you recover the last 4 years of your life? You recover by starting to live now. See the longer you spend crying over that spilled curdled milk, the longer you spend obsessing over it and trying to demystify the things that happened, the more of your time and yourself you're losing. You don't want sorry so I won't sympathize with you. The truth is that some people are IDIOTS, and regardless of how good, kind, giving and loving you are, they still remain and will always be IDIOTS. Unfortunately you fell in love with a selfish undeserving idiot, sweetie, let it go! Some people have lost 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 or ten years and they still picked up the pieces and moved on. As you pray to God, pray instead for God to forgive you for the abortion you had, ask Him to heal your heart and to give you the grace and strength to move on. You need God to heal your heart my darling, when He does you'll feel the hate, the resentment and bitterness begin to melt away, leaving you lighter, free and feeling brand new! (I've been there so trust me, I know...). Please don't let that undeserving man continue to take up space in your mind and in your heart, especially as you're the last thing in his, if at all you're there... All the best Hun!

10 Reasons You Were Not Called After The Job Interview




Sometimes job hunting is all about you. Sometimes job hunting is all about them. Don’t take every rejection personally. Here’s why.
You do not need to be a rocket scientist to realize that job hunting in Nigeria is painful, tedious, frustrating and most at times emotionally devastating. But not all rejection should be taken personally. In fact, there are many reasons you don’t get the job–and some have nothing to do with you and your skills. Here are 10.

1. Someone Had Friends In High Places

We are talking about Nigeria. Even when you are over qualified for the job,aced the interview with flying colors, impressed the interviewers with all you got; all it takes is a phone call and the job goes to the least qualified person for the job. Don’t take it personally, nepotism is the bane of every job seeker in Nigeria.
Some companies have policies that a certain number of people have to be interviewed for each position (or that the job has to be advertised publicly) — regardless of the fact that the firm has already decided whom to hire.
You got dagged in to check off the proper boxes on the form, but never had a chance of getting the job.

2. The Job Disappeared

You’d think that when a company posts a job, sources résumés, and conducts interviews, the company would know it wants to hire someone. But that’s not always true.
Sometimes there are disagreements over which department gets the head count. Sometimes funding is moved to somewhere else. Sometimes the company just decides not to fill the job.
Nigerian Immigration Service (NIS), don’t sweat it, we are obviously not talking to you.

3. You’ve Been Conned

Some people in Nigeria make a living from snipping the small amount of money that job seekers have. How heartless!
You weren’t called because the money you were asked to pay for in order to process the interview process was used to fund someone’s account. Accept our deepest sympathy for your money lost.
As a rule, no genuine interviewer will ask a dime from you if they are really interested in giving you a job.
Once again, Nigerian Immigration Service (NIS) stop looking at us.

4. The Recruiter Is A Weird Fellow

Recruiters are funny people. Most are awesome, but some will reject you because you have scuffs on your shoes, or because they didnt like your face. We wish this was a joke.
Sometimes you might be asked a ridiculous question that has serves no purpose but to see how creative you can be or how you respond to difficult situations. You really do not want to hear some of the weird questions that some recruiters ask during job interviews.
Most recruiters aren’t horrible like these are, but some do have their games.

5. You’re Not A Good Cultural Fit.

As much as we like to think it should be all about the skills, it’s not. Different cultures are better for different people.
Nigeria is a country where we find it difficult to alienate tribe and religion from our day to day activities. You might rejected for a job because of your tribe, age, state of origin or religion.
A lady might be rejected because she wore trousers to a job interview, why? The company does not allow trousers at their place of work. You might be rejected for wearing two earring and sometime for having two ear holes.
Skills? You conquered that. Cultural fit? No, you didnt conquer that

6. You Can’t Agree On Salary.

Theoretically, salaries should be based on market rates and nothing more.
In Nigeria, there’s a ton of stuff that goes into a salary. A graduate could be made to endure the military training of the Navy SEALs and after such rigorous process you will be offered N20, 000 as salary for a month. May you never encounter such people in your job seeking experience.
Even when some companies are reasonable, the prospective worker might be flat out greedy. If you know you’re looking for something higher than what the company can offer, then don’t proceed with the interview process.
Why waste everyone’s time?

7. Your (bad) Reputation Preceded You.

Often people think they can burn bridges at old jobs, because they’ve moved on to newer and better. The problem is, the world is small, and the person you told to go f**k himself is the your current interviewer.
 You didn’t even know his name, but he surely knows yours, and now you’re not hired.

8. You Blew The Interview.

Sometimes interviews simply go badly. It wasn’t that you did anything wrong–you didn’t answer your cell phone, pick your nose, or insult the interviewer–you just didn’t rock it.
Sometimes you have bad days.

9. There Was Someone Better Than You.

Often people identify themselves as perfect for the job, but you never get to vet the other candidates.
Your fitting all the listed qualifications doesn’t mean someone else isn’t better than you are.

10Your Village Witches Are Dancing Sekeem On Your Head.

We are Nigerians, we are highly religious and we blame everything on religion. So yes, your village witches made you to fail the job interview.


By Tracy Malcolm. Giftedgreen.com

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Thought something might find this interesting and/or useful, so there you have it. Stumbled on Tracy Malcolm's blog yesterday and I found some of her articles to be quite nice. 

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