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Wednesday, 29 April 2015

The Bane Of Ignorance. (The Bruce Jenner Transgender Issue).

The level of ignorance some of you exhibit is just incredible! “My God doesn’t make mistakes”, ” he involved 'my God' in this”, is God your sole property or how does that relate to the issue on ground? Does it explain the reason why someone born male wants to be a female? If you want to use that as an argument or fact, how would you explain the millions of people born with hundreds of different genetic abnormalities/congenital diseases of all parts/cells of the human body? Are these people mistakes or made by the devil because they are not perfect or they are perfect because God wanted them to be born with diseases?

We live in an imperfect world, and there things that we don’t yet understand or that we may never understand properly. Instead of you to broaden your knowledge by reading about these things you read online, you just involve God into everything and make dumb statements.

We as a people never try to find out the reason for something either by researching or just plain reading about something, we just feel anything that doesn’t follow the ” norm” as we know it or isn’t like us or feel exactly as we do is bad and immoral.

You see an egg with 2 yolks you start panicking and praying, you see a chicken with 2 heads you want to stone it to death, you see a man who says he feels like a woman and you don’t try to understand what is wrong you want to kill him or condemn him.

Do you think people just wake up one morning and decide they want to suffer, be made fun of by the world, become outcasts, be bullied, killed or maimed by others due to what they feel deep inside just because! You guys make me sick! Dogs are better than the lot of you, they don’t understand many things but they don’t judge, they just LOVE even when they don’t know what is wrong or understand!


If you haven't already figured it out, this is a comment (Bella Naija) someone made on the Bruce Jenner  interview in response to those people who expressed disdain at Bruce's mentions of God; I am a Woman…God Gave Me the Soul of a Female”, and also accusations that Bruce (with other transgenders) was indirectly saying that God made a mistake by making him a man. I found this comment thought provoking and thought to share with you. 

God does not make mistakes. But how do you explain all the birth defects, medical anomalies and genetic abnormalities?

Is medically changing your gender mockery to God?

Is it complete hogwash when some people say they feel the exact opposite sex from that they were born with?

On the Bruce Jenner man-woman transition, how do you feel?


I'm sorry I've been away all day. I wanted to post this earlier today but my wifi subscription ran out and I don't know if it's my device or not but I wasn't able to access Quick Teller all day. Just got it sorted now. I hope y'all have had a great day?

Where Have You Been?

A few weekends ago at my friend's tea party, like I told y'all it was just us ladies, and the celebrant, my very posh and proper *giggles* friend, insisted on classical music only. Naturally with no man dem and no ahh shoki it was only a matter of time before everyone started fiddling with their phones and looking around restlessly. So, we decided to play some games. I'd have you know that we ended up having a great deal of fun. Surprising, right? 

Well the only game we played (before we dived into some serious girl talk) was Two Truths and a Lie. We've played something similar on the blog once. And just like it was on the blog, it was great fun at the party. So this chica took her turn and she said; "I love my job. I have nineteen siblings. I've been to well over twenty countries. Which is the lie?"

Wow! We wracked and cracked our brains. NINETEEN SIBLINGS? Hmmm, sounds like a lie. OVER TWENTY COUNTRIES? Hmmmm not very likely. She LOVES her job? Yeah that sounds more plausible than the other two. 

So most of us guessed that the lie was either that she had nineteen siblings or had been to over twenty countries. I mean, she's just in her twenties na, and she doesn't work with the UN either. Na lie jor!

It turned out that indeed she does have 19 siblings and yes, she has been to WELL OVER 20 countries (emphasis was placed on the "well over" so it could just as well have been 25 or 30. Wow! right?)

It's got me thinking since then. I follow a man called @twheat on Instagram and that man travels mehn, you should check out pictures of places he's been to! I also follow Turks and Caicos' handle and that's my dream vacation spot. These pictures keep me fantasizing. 
    On the day we did the "Where are you from?" post, this is the question I actually meant to ask, but at the last second, I was more curious about where you're from. Now, days later I'm still itching to know where you have been!

So I'm asking you TTB readers, where have you been? How many countries have you visited? What international vacations have you taken? What Islands have you been on? Generally, tell us where you have been, outside the country of your birth. 
...And whether or not you have been anywhere, what places would you most love to visit? 

I'm all ears, I'm wondering who's been where, where and where. I'm wondering who's been to well over twenty countries? And feel free to tell us the most memorable things about your travel(s). 

Where Have You Been To?

Blog Reader Says...!

A brother and a sister in our church were in a relationship and the brother breaks it off. The sister is devastated but still keeps on with her life. Not long after another brother in our church more financially okay dan the other brother asks for her hand in marraige and they got married! Late last year they had a baby boy. The sister is like 2 yrs older than the guy but as I speak the guy has bought her a jeep which she cruises in and waves at people like me! I no vex its her time...lolzz

The 1st brother started another relationship with another sister in church and THEY got married! Here's the thing; in this case the sister is more financially okay than the other sister and even the brother sef! 2ndly, the lady in question is say 2 yrs older dan the brother-also! Lolzzz. As I type this message, this 2nd couple just had a set of TRIPLETS today! 

My dear, God has a way of doing His things and arranging our lives. I began to wonder, what if the brothers or the sisters had said they wont marry because of age.....what if they had gotten frustrated (both ladies were in say early thirties)...would the story be like this?

How To Change a Man.

Good morning gorgeous people! And for those not in this time zone, Hello gorgeous people! I've got a wing girl called Marni. Occasionally she sends me emails and some times I just yawn my way through, not because they're no good, but because the dating scene over here is so different from what's applicable in the USA. So most times I read simply for amusement or to have a good eye-rolling session. But on a few occasions she sends me things that I can actually relate to. I thought someone might benefit from it.

Hello Thelma,

I love my husband...

BUT, there are certainly a few things that I would like to change about him. Ha.

And I'm sure you've had the same thoughts about the man in your life or about men you've dated in the past.

So I'm going to tell you my trick for getting a man to change!!!

To be honest, it's not so much a trick but rather a course of action that works.

This morning I got an email from a woman that I'll refer to as A.

I won't share the entire email but what A was asking me about was an on again, off again relationship that she'd been having for the past several years. That is currently OFF again.

She and her ex have so much shared history together and she's always wanted commitment from him i.e. Marriage, living together....

Basically anything that shows he's remotely invested in her and their child. But this dude never seems to take action and seems to come up with a ton of selfish excuses.

RED FLAG NOTE: Men who do not take action will almost NEVER take action. If you start to notice this in the beginning of dating GET OUT!

A's big question to me was is she right in thinking that after all these years with this man that there is no future with this man?


Is it right of her to try dating other men right now??

I wanted to share my response JUST IN CASE you are experiencing similar thoughts and questions.

Here is my response to A and my little trick for how to change a man!


I don't want to say that there is no future with this man BUT there is no future with him if you keeping waiting around for him to be the man you want him to be WITHOUT taking action. 

He won't resort to action UNLESS there is a reason for action. 

See, how men work is that they are single focused. Which means they only focus on 1 thing at a time...

Unlike women who are phenomenal multi-taskers.

Men have a mental list of items that need to be accomplished, either in their mind or literally on a piece of paper.

1. Hang pictures

2. Scratch butt

3. Make wife happy

You get the point ;-)

Men mentally put things on this "list" in order of priority.

How the list works is that high level items that need immediate attention go to the top of the list.  

And lower priority items hover around the bottom UNLESS there is a need to bump it's position.

IF you stick around and wait for this man, taking no action accept waiting...

Then there is no incentive for your man to ACT! 

And marrying you, being there for you and taking action won't bump up to the top of his list.  

The thing is that men don't make these list to  be cruel.

They do it to be efficient. 

I'm not saying that this is going on with your guy. He may just never want to fully commit BUT the only way to find out and potentially see some action...


And by action, I mean start living your life for you instead of waiting for him.

You can ever be very direct and tell him that this is what you are going to do and stick with it. 

Here's how you can say it:

"What I want is for us to be together and what I need from you is X,Y, Z.  If you can't do that right now then I have to end things as they are now. I can't wait anymore and I have to live my life.  

IF you change your mind and are ready to work with me, let me know and I'll see where I am at and if I still want what I want now."

Clear, direct and specific. Specificity with men is super important.  That's what the XYZ was for. To tell him what you need from him. 

Then you have to live what you said and let go.  

You can't do this with the motive of getting him to do what you want or it won't work because you'll eventually just settle with no action and go back to him. 

This will work 100% because either way you'll win.

Either you'll get him to take action OR your action will open the door for tons more opportunities.


I love the way she ended her mail, either you'll get him to take action or your action will open the door for tons more opportunities. "Tons more opportunities", now doesn't that sound awesome?!

And also; Specificity is key. I think this is important, not just with men but with everyone we have social interactions with. 

...As you may or may not know, I didn't get any sleep last night and on days I'm sleep deprived, I go into copy and paste mode. My mind becomes very constipated and my fingers, too stiff to move. So... Unless I see something interesting to copy and paste (LOL) I'll be MIA until I'm able to get some shut eye. Muahhh!

Tuesday, 28 April 2015

So What If My Boyfriend Got Married Last Week?


But seriously, so what if my boyfriend got married last week? Am I supposed to die? Roll on the ground and cover my body in dust and sand? Write it on my forehead and rant on Twitter? 

Well yes he did. And everybody seems to think I'm terribly "strong". Everyone says "Wow Nwando are you sure you're ok? Are you sure you're fine?". Mummy called and waited for the tears and when I changed the topic and started talking about food she wasn't sure how to proceed, her mind had already been prepared to deliver the 'Your own will come' speech. She struggled hard to find the reset button and it seemed to elude her so I ambled along, carried on the conversation for the both of us till she could find her tongue. 

Why is it strange that I refuse to talk about it? Talk ill about him? Not appear interested at the mention of his name? Is it because you knew that I'd admitted to myself that I had fallen in love with him and just the day before I found out that he was wedding someone else in a couple of weeks, I'd planned to tell him this, tell him boo I love you, me being one to not know how to keep emotions to myself..?

Is it because you knew that although he never actually said it I'd had dreams of happy ever after?

Is it because you're aware that every time we had "the talk" he swore that he wanted me, for the long haul, the whole nine yards, and guaranteed 100% commitment, honesty and devotion?

Is it because you all said he treated me better than any other girl he had dated and you were there when his niece told me "my uncle is crazy about you, I've never seen him like this, please don't break his heart, I think he wants to marry you..."?

Is it because everyone knew he was frugal but strangely with me his hands were always open to give give and give, even when I didn't ask, and I rarely did ask?

Is it because he mentioned babies and "our" children?

Is it because that night he told me "Nwando you're a wonderful person and I want to be with you forever and ever and ever"? Ahn ahn, but I told you that he'd had quite a bit to drink, and I also told you he didn't remember any of it the next day. 

Remember I also always said I had my doubts and each time he would come back to beg and beg and call you to beg and beg me, and you would call me to beg and beg and I would finally give in, only until the next ish.. And the begging and giving in cycle continued. 

Yeah, I had my doubts and time and time again I tried to cut out, to let go but he never would let me be. Even less than a month before he wedded he did it again and I said I'm not doing again and he made those gestures and my heartstrings were pulled but this time I swore it was the last time and I said I wouldn't go back but like a moth to a flame his seeming sincerity, genuineness and brokenness over my decision confused me and convinced me that he must indeed want me and I was sucked back in, yet again. Damn, could that boy beg! But why beg so desperately when your wedding plans are already underway? 

Yeah, barely days later I learnt that dude was practically married. LMFAO! I laugh in whatever dialect of igbo those Nsukka people speak. 

So why aren't I bent and broken? Tarnished and twisted in pain and agony? Haunted by the images of our futures' aborted foetuses lying scattered around on the bloodied floor? Hurt by the lies and deceit? Burnt by the knowledge that while I held us sacred like the Holy Grail, he held me carelessly, like an outdated Nintendo game? 

No, don't get me wrong it hurt real bad. The day I heard it I tried to drown the pain in a bottle of vodka but my pain wore a tightly secured life vest and it only floated over the surface, refusing to be sunk. The tears wouldn't stop flowing either, but they flowed only for a moment and a day. And that was it, that was all. 

Because you see, there's something I realized while we were together; I'm the prize. No, don't think this is one of those motivational moments, one of those inspirational affirmations. No, this is fact, I was the prize. I discerned early on that I was worthy of more, that in spite of his financial comfort, I brought a lot to the table, that I brought and added value, that God would bless this man far beyond the way he was blessed BECAUSE of me. I knew that I was the prize and that when I said I wanted to leave he was right to beg, because even he knew that I am the prize. 

And I don't hate him. He was a silly boy playing silly games that have him caught in an eternal web of regret, and I wish him well. I wish him well as he twists and turns and tries to claw his way out, but you know webs; sticky little buggers, they keep you trapped, try as you might but they're stuck on you like, well, webs! 
     It's I that I actually resent. Because I saw, I saw and saw and I knew and my instincts cried out. But silly me, rather than listen to them I chose to listen to the whiny voice of a grown man begging. Rather than stand firm and walk left I was seduced by the image on the right. Because, although I knew that left was a blank canvas, it was MY blank canvass, to paint in whatever colours I chose, the colours I wanted. Yet I allowed the image on the right seduce me; it wasn't a pretty picture, the painting was blurred, the work; like that of a drowsy amateur. But the frame was "interesting" and so I went to it. Who buys a picture because of the frame anyways? Well I did. Silly ol' me. 

Why should I cry when I got on both knees asking God for a sign when day by day he himself showed me all the signs I needed to see? Is it his fault that he held up a great red flag, waving it frenetically before my eyes, yet I kept my eyes tightly shut, time and time again? It most certainly is not. 

So while I understand why you must think that I'm strong, I wonder... 

I was at a party when I got sent the wedding pictures by someone saying "Why is your man getting married to someone else?". My partner at the party never would have thought that barely days ago this was the man I thought I loved. Yes, if she knew, she would have indeed called me "strong". Actually she might have shed a tear or two because had she not gone on her knees and prayed that this year he would do the needful? 

Still, don't call me strong like its some mighty thing I'm doing, in my shoes you wouldn't have any other  option but to be STRONG. 

The account can only be shared in vague fragments of bits and pieces because... Well, to tell it all would be to put in serious work, and ain't nobody got time for that! LOL, look out for the chapter in my biography. 

*Last week isn't literal & boyfriend should read Ex, obviously...


The Magic Behind Your Date of Birth!

People, *excitedly rubs palms together* I just lurv these things. Almost everyone who has done the test swears by it. I'm yet to check mine out. Let's do this! 

If U were born on the 1st, 10th, 19th, 28th of any month U r number 1.... 

If U were born on the 2nd, 11th, 20th, 29th of any month then U r number 2... 

If U were born on the 3rd, 12th, 21st, 30th of any month then U r number 3... 

If U were born on the 4th, 13th, 22nd, 31st of any month then U r number 4... 

If U were born on the 5th, 14th, 23rd of any month then U r number 5... 

If U were born on the 6th,15th,24th of any month then U r number 6... 

If U were born on the 7th,16th,25th of any month then U r number 7... 

If U were born on the 8th,17th,26th of any month then U r number 8... 

If U were born on the 9th,18th,27th of any month then U r number 9...


Number 1

You are smart, straight talking, funny, stubborn, hardworking, honest,

Jealous on competing basis, kind hearted, angry, friendly, authorities,

Famous person...always want to be and regarded as first on people

Position, they are often like to be independent, will never be under

Others, self confident people!

You are most likely to fall in love in the younger age, but will get

Marry when you mature! You are likely to have problems with people who have opposite views

And you are most likely to take revenge over your

Enemies in a long time basis. You are a spender, but you will have a good profession in the future.

If you are guy you will be very popular that everybody will have mental attraction and respect at you.

You can go anywhere from the local shop to the heart of the parliament because you are positive and

Well talented in numerous issues!! But in your life you will always have some people who will work hard

To bring you&your name down. This is undercover!! Coz of your smart behavior you will be hated by some

People too...

Your family life is very cool, you will have a very nice partner&

Wonderful children... You are pioneer, independent&original... Your best match is 4,6,8 good match is 3,5,7 !!!


Number 2

No matter what, you will be loved by every one coz your ruler is the

Moon and every one loves the Moon. Well.. You are a person who day dream a lot,

You have very low-self confidence, you need back up for every move in your life, you

Are very much unpredictable. Means you do change according to time and circumstances,

Kind a selfish, have a very strong sense of musical, artistic talent, verbal communication.

Your attitudes are like the Moon, comes to gloom and fade away so everybody can expect

Changes in you. You can be a next Mahatma Gandhi who does peace love or you can be a

Hitler who wants to destroy the man kind and peace (I mean in the community and your own home).

If you really have a deep thought about your own believe in God you can

Feel the difference which will make you stronger! Most of the time your

Words are a kind of would be happening true! So without any knowledge

You can predict the situation. You will become poets, writers, any

Artistic business people!

You are not strong in love, so you will be there and here till you get

Marry.. If U r a girl you will be a responsible woman in the whole

Family. If U r a man you will involve in fights&arguments in the family or

Vice-versa. Means you will sacrifice your life for the goodness sake of

Your family...You are gentle , intuitive with a broad vision, a power

Behind the scenes, well balanced People!!!

Your best match is 2 ,5 ,9 no other people can put up with you !!!

Number 3

You are a person of hard hearted, selfish most of the times, religious,

Loves to climb up in your life. You always tend to have lots of problems

Within your family in the early stages but you will put up with everything..

You have the strong word power, pretty happy face.. So wherever you go always

You have got what you wanted!!! And from the birth always wanted to work hard in order

To achieve something.. You will not get

Anything without hard work! When you reach a man/ woman age you want other younger

Once to listen to you because you want younger people to respect people older than them.

You do set so many examples to others. Generally you are not a cool person. It's not easy

thing dealing with you. A tough player you are! But once you like someone's attitud! e then

here you go, what can I say? It will be a lasting friendship. You always have respect from others.

Your life seems to have lots of worries and problems but sure they won't be long.. You will always

have brilliant kids!!! You love the money a bit too much so temptation will push you to endless

trying and trying.. If you are a guy then it's over. Looking after your family and help friends, so you

will spend a life time just being generous and kind (except 21st born men). And number 3s you will

be such an example of how to be in the culture&life!!! If you are girl then you have good character

and culture&hardworking attitude. You always follow. You are a freedom lover, creative, ambition

focused, a person who brings beauty , hope&joy to this world!!!

Your best match 6 ,9. Good match 1 ,3 ,5 !!!


Number 4

You are very stubborn too, very hard working but unlucky in important

matters in life, very cool, helpful, you have rough word power.. Might

put lots of people away from you, you may cause nuisance to others if you are a man,

and you often understands others and their problems well. If you are a girl you are very

good with studies and arts. If you are a guy you spend most of the time after girl friends

(almost) at times, you will have sort of too much fun life with mates&girls. Your friends will

spend your time&money and get away with their life and you will become empty handed and

don't know what to do... So be careful!! You love to spend anyway!!! Your good will is you are

always there to help family and friends. Tell you what you people are little gem! s, specially the girls..

You always fall in love in younger age as well. You often live with disappointments , for an example

you have got a degree in some thing... but you will be unemployed.. or will do very ordinary jobs.

But you will take care of your family very well...All you need to be careful of people who will take

advantage of your kind heart. And beware of your relations too.. You are radical, patient, persistent,

a bit old-fashioned, you live with foundation&order...

Your best Match 1, 8. Good match 5 ,6 , 7 !!!


Number 5

You are very popular within the community, you can get things done by

just even enemies! You have a pretty good business mind, you are often

have no-idea what is today is like, or tomorrow is like, you are a person who does anything

when your head thinks"lets do this". You will be famous if you open up a business,

get involve in share dealings, music etc.. Very popular with sense of humor ,you are

the one your friends and families will always ask for help, and you are the one actually

get money on credit and help your friends. You will have more than 1 relationship,

but when u get settle down you will be a bit selfish anyway. Coz your other half will

have a pretty good amount of control in you, be careful! You tend to go for other relationships!

Contacts even you are married at times'coz your popularity.. You are someone who get along

with anyone coz the number 5 is the middle number.. Changes&freedom lovers you are! You are

an explorer with magic on your face. You learn your life through experience and it's your best teacher!!! Your best match 1 ,2 ,9. Good match 6 ,8 !!!


Number 6 are born to enjoy..... You don't care about others. I mean

you are always want to enjoy your life time, you are a person.. You will be

very good in either education or work wise or business management! You are talented,

kind (but with only people who you think are nice), very

beautiful girls and guys, popular and more than lucky with anything in

your lives. All the goodness does come with you. Your mind and body is just made perfect for love.

You are lovable by any other numbers. But if you are a number 6 man, you will experience kind of

looks from most girls and will involve in more than few relationships until you get married. If you are girl,

most of you will get marry/engaged early. You are ! a caring

person towards your family&friends . If you miss the half-way mark then you are about to suffer physically

and mentally. Generally you will lead a very good inner-home happiness with nothing short of.... You are a person of compassion, comfort&fairness, domestic responsibility, good

judgment, and after all you can heal this world wounds to make peace for every life coz you have the great

power of caring talent to make this world of love one step further...

Your best match 1, 6, 9. Good match 4, 5!!!

Number 7

You have got the attraction to anyone out there, you are realistic,

very confident, happy, such a talented individual with your education,

music, arts, singing, and most importantly acting too. You have real problems

with bad temper! If you are a girl, you are popular with the subjects listed above.

You give up things for your parents. I mean you value your family status a lot, you will be

in the top rank when you reach a certain age. If you are a guy you are popular with girls,

you are a very talented too. Most of the number 7s face lots of problems with their marriage life.

Only a very few are happy. You have everything in your life, but still always number 7s have some sort of unfullfilness, such worries all their lifetime. It's probably the Lord giving you all sort of over the

standard humans talents and you are about to suffer in family life. So you need to get ready looking

for a partner rather than waiting. If you don't, then you might end-up single. So take care with this issue,

ok? You are wonderful, friendly, artistic, happy person.. You are born to

contribute lots to this world!!!

Your best match is 2. Good matches are 1,4 !!!


Number 8

You are a very strong personality, there's no one out there will

understand you. You are very good at pointing your finger at some thing and say"this is what".

You are more likely to suffer from the early ages. I mean poverty. If your times are not good

you might lose either of your

parent and end up looking after your entire family. You often suffer all the way in life.

The problems will not allow you to study further, but you will

learn the life in a very practical way. You are the one who will fight

for justice and may die in the war too. You are normally very reserved with handful of

friends and most of the time live life lonely and always

prepared to help others. Well. once you get married (which is often

late) then your bad lucks will go away a bit and you! u become safe. You will face un-expected

problems such as : the error, government, poisonous animals, accidents... You are some one with

great discipline, persistence, courage, strength which will take you to success. You are a great part

of a family team.. You are a fighter!

Your Best match 1 ,4, 8. Good match 5 !!!


Number 9 guys are the incompatibles people in the world. You are so

strong, physically and mentally... You are often have big-aims. You will work

hard and hard to get there.

Normally you suffer in the early age from family problems and generally you

will have fighting life.. But when you

achieve what you have done, it's always a big task you have done! You are so much respected in

the community, you are a person who can make a challenge and successfully finish the matter off.

You are very naughty in your younger age, often beaten up by your parents and involve in fights

and you seemed to have lots of injuries in your life time. But when u grow you become calm and macho type.

Love is not an easy matter for you. You are good in engineering or banking jobs coz people always trust you.

Your family life is very good, but will have worries over your children.

Your such qualities are humanitarian, patient, very wise&compassionate.

You are born to achieve targets and serve every one all equally without any prejudice.

You are totally a role model to anybody in the world for a great inspiration.

 Your Best match 3, 5, 6, 9. Good match 2


So, does it come close or is it utter balderdash?    

Will a Man Propose Twice? Should I Take a Step Back and Wait?...

#Read #Enjoy #Comment 

Buhari Bans AIT From Covering Activities?

Do you share the sentiments of Gilbert Oladeinbo (Esq.)? Here's what he had to say;

He Told Me He Will Never Marry Someone As Ugly As Me.

I met my 'husband' while working as a sales girl in Idumota. He always frequented our shop because of me and each time he came he would always tell me how much he loves me and wants to marry me. I liked him too and we started dating. I got pregnant for him and moved in with him and he promised to marry me and pay my bride price. 

He kept postponing the marriage and each time I ask him, he would say there is no money for that now and once money comes we would get married. We kept living together peacefully till he suddenly changed, abuses me any opportunity he gets. he told me he will never marry someone as ugly as me. 

     He got married to another woman and brought her home and they made life unbearable for me and my kids, I kept enduring hoping things would get better but he just threw us out from his house. We've been sleeping outside since then. The only thing I was able to pack was the clothes I spread on the grass over there and the ones inside the white nylon. 

Sometimes I start laughing at myself then I begin to cry. I'm so ashamed I never thought this was how my life would end up. I'm an NCE holder, I had plans and now I'm sitting here not knowing where the next meal will come from."

-Humans of Lagos. 


I read this on the humans of Lagos page and once again the anger I sometimes feel towards the entire (yes, entire.) male sex began to stir within in. I'm getting sick just hearing stories, on a daily (yes, daily {LOL} ) basis of how one man or the other trampled upon women's hearts. But I'm also getting sick of us women and our victim mentality. At some point we need to begin to acknowledge the roles we played in our own (heartbreak) and take responsibility for them, and also learn from the experience. I empathize with the woman above. The Humans of Lagos did mention that if anyone has something she can do, an opening for domestic work perhaps, they should reach out to them. 

But, people, you know whom I resent in this story the most? The woman who moved into a home of another woman... A lot of women do this. Just... WHY?

Monday, 27 April 2015

This Is a Joke Right? Fat-Shaming Women Who Gave Birth Through C-Section.

I'm not sure where Linda Ikeji found this picture but it's simply got to be a joke, one of those things some loony posts on the Internet to stir up arguments and instigate fights.

But I'll just ask, do you mothers who gave birth the natural way feel that mothers who had their baby/babies through C-section took the easy way out? Do you resent them for this? Do you feel you had it tough and they didn't?

I'm itching to know. 

But did the ignoramus who wrote this know that most people don't have C-sections by choice? Especially in this age where everyone is #teamfitfam and everybody wants to post smoking hot post-baby bods one month after leaving the labour room? I attended a get together some days ago and everyone one beside just two of us are mothers, but guess what, they were all wayyyy hotter than me! You wouldn't even know the ladies were married, let alone that they had babies under the age of 1. On the other hand a dear friend of mine had her baby through CS a month ago due to some complications, and she couldn't take a bath for 3 weeks because of the scar. Not only that, she hates her body right now, because she cannot exercise for now, waist-train or be aggressive about weight loss as she would have loved. Why the heck would a right thinking person make that meme above?!!!

Please, What Should She Do?

I got a call from a blog reader this morning which I almost didn't take, because the caller ID showed Private number. But on second thought I decided to pick my phone, I'm glad I did. Here's a summary of what she told me. 

She's in her late 20s, a graduate and has completed her NYSC but still no job. In October 2014 her friend needed to travel for a six-month course. Her friend had a job as a personal assistant to an executive director in one of the top companies. The pay is really good and her friend wanted to go for the program but, still wanted the job when she returned, especially if nothing better came up. So, this friend decided to suggest to her boss to allow the blog reader stand in for her for the duration. Surprisingly the boss agreed. It was a win-win, the blog reader would collect the salary for the duration she filled in for her friend and continue her job search so that when she (the friend) returned she would have a job of her own to move on to. Well now the friend has returned but there's a problem. 

The boss does not want his former PA back and is insisting that the blog reader stay on. She has explained the agreement that she and her friend had to him, and although she would really like to stay on (especially as she's great at the job, and hasn't been able to get another job, as she had hoped) it would be extremely unfair to her friend who got her the job in the first place. Her boss said that he was never particularly impressed with her friend's work, he didn't like her personality much and she was a bit lazy. He also said that he couldnt force the blog reader to stay on, but that even if she left, he would hire someone else and not rehire her friend, his former PA.

To make matters worse, he has refused to give her friend an appointment or an opportunity to come and see him, leaving everything in the blog readers hands. What this means is that what ever decision she makes, she is the one that has to break it to her friend. 

She's in a dilemma and wanted to know what I thought, she also wants me to post it so that she can hear what you think. 

New BFF Alert!

Did you know?

Sunday, 26 April 2015

#Grey's Anatomy Killed Love and Now You're In Mourning.

I'm not sure which post it was but I saw comments from a number of you crying about Greys. I wasn't sure what the fuss was about, I stopped watching Greys in Season 6 or 7. It's a pretty amazing show but I stopped because I found it a bit too depressing, I found myself crying at least twice in one episode, I decided I'd had enough. Don't get me wrong, it's not Greys, it's me. I'm just a bit too emotional and sensitive especially when visuals are involved. I didn't know who to ask but when I saw Myne Whitman's post titled How #GreysAnatomy Killed Love & Got Me Crying, I understood better. Here's what she wrote on her blog romancemeetslife

When bad things happen, they often blindside you. That was what Meredith Grey said the episode before last as she complained that she'd not heard from her husband Derek Shephard after he left to go wrap things up in DC and move back to Seattle for good. Since his jaunt to the capital, I've been scared that McDreamy was on his way out, but I still cried last night as we said a final goodbye.

ABC and Shonda Rhimes, have now put out statements confirming what I'd thought. ABC said,

"After 11 seasons on "Grey's Anatomy," Patrick Dempsey is moving on to pursue other interests. Dr. Derek Shepherd is an iconic character and we've been proud to be the home of "McDreamy" and the "Mer/Der" love story. The devotion of Grey's fans throughout the years has been a testament to the creative mind of Shonda Rhimes and Dempsey's talent. "McDreamy" will be greatly missed and we wish Patrick the very best in his future endeavors."

Shonda Rhimes, ever the writer, is already looking forward, saying;

"Derek Shepherd is and will always be an incredibly important character -- for Meredith, for me and for the fans. I absolutely never imagined saying goodbye to our "Mcdreamy". Patrick Dempsey's performance shaped Derek in a way that I know we both hope became a meaningful example -- happy, sad, romantic, painful and always true -- of what young women should demand from modern love. His loss will be felt by all. Now, Meredith and the entire Grey's Anatomy family are about to enter uncharted territory as we head into this new chapter of her life. The possibilities for what may come are endless. As Ellis Grey would say: the carousel never stops turning."

But I'll say that for me, the show will never be the same. They should just end it. I was so happy when Mer had the wish that she was joining Derek in the hospital bed. And then it was snatched away. Still I hoped he would wake up when they took him off life support. Like Derek said on the OR table, it was too late. This was how I felt when the previews for next week's episode rolled;

It's a good thing Atala actually watched this one with me, who knows, I would've otherwise have burst into loud ugly tears like in these tweets; 

The Grey's Anatomy account says Mer will be fine. But how can she? How can we? When they've just killed love. 

OK, I won't cry again, I won't! #GoodbyeDerek #SoLongMcDreamy #ThanksFor10YearsofMerDer

Who else is feeling this way?

Friday, 24 April 2015

It's Poll Time. Tonto Dike Is Crayyyy!!!

I'm sure we've all heard about this fracas. It's both entertaining and quite disturbing. Opinions are split. On the one hand some say Pearl (the personal shopper) has poor customers relations. They say she should not have gone public with this, especially just one month after the transaction. They say in the long run in would be detrimental to her business; people do not want to do business with an impatient loud mouth. Plus she even sold fake clothes!

On the other, people are enraged at Tonto's actions. When she knew she didn't want the clothes why didn't she have them returned? And why did she issue a dud cheque? And why didn't she respond to Pearl's incessant calls and messages? And what's with her bringing Omotola into the mix? 

And just when we thought things were dying down, Tonto goes on burns the bags! I don't even know what to make of that. Do you?

This whole thing makes my head spin. 

Well let's take a poll. Who's in the right and who's to blame? 

*Just as an aside, I'm sincerely worried for Tonto. She posts pics in the shower, pics with Mr X, videos burning items, and acts all crazy, brazen and carefree. It's all fun and games until it isn't. I hope Tonto has genuine friends in her corner. I hope she has a strong support system. I hope she has people that genuinely care for her, who are there in those dark moments that we're not privy to on Instgram. I hope she has someone to truly loves her, but more importantly I hope Tonto actually loves herself. Otherwise I am so very worried for that young woman*. 

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