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Showing posts from May, 2015

That Hurt That Makes You Want To Hurt Them More. (Ps 109).

Just some weeks ago I showed my friend this psalm and her mouth hung open. We read together and I continued to ask what kind of grievance someone could do to another, to make them "invoke" this psalm. We thought about it and shook our heads and moved on to funner things. I didn't have to wonder for long. 
Just this evening my friend calls me crying and tells me how the guy whom we had thought she was going to marry is getting married to someone else. I really feel her pain because I know that they've been through so much together, she has been through a lot because of him, and he, all the while lead her to believe that it was leading somewhere.       A lot of us have been in this circumstance so we know how badly it hurts. I know her story might be a bit different because she has sacrificed and lost a lot for him. Now not only did she just learn about his engagement, he also went around spreading false stories about her, to justify dumping her for someone else.       Am…

Dear Thelma... (Meeting His Family; Lies & Codes of Conduct).

Hey Tee, plz help post this. I am meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time and I need advice. He told them I have a masters degree which I got in Dundee amd I hope to get my doctorate degree soon. It's a lie, maybe one day I will go for my masters but I am still looking for a job right now. Also I think his family is very churchy and strict so any tips on what I should wear, makeup etc. And please I don't know if I am supposed to help out in the kitchen if they are still cooking when I get there, should I offer to wash the dishes after eating? What kind of things should I talk to his parents about? I agreed to go with the lie because he said he told already told them and cannot "untell" them. I was not happy but he said it is because his parents are academics and he wants them to like me without any reservation. He is encouraging me to go for my masters and has promised to help me financially so I forgave him a little.but my problem right now is how to ha…

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie: Being a strong woman isn’t remarkable, it’s normal

On May 29, 2015, writer Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie addressed the class of 2015 at Wellesley College in Wellesley, Massachusetts. Below, an excerpt of her remarks to the women graduating this year. I wasn’t very interested in makeup until I was in my twenties, which is when I began to wear makeup. Because of a man. A loud, unpleasant man. He was one of the guests at a friend’s dinner party. I was also a guest. I was about 23, but people often told me I looked 12. The conversation at dinner was about traditional Igbo culture, about the custom that allows only men to break the kola nut, and the kola nut is a deeply symbolic part of Igbo cosmology.I argued that it would be better if that honor were based on achievement rather than gender, and he looked at me and said, dismissively, “You don’t know what you are talking about, you’re a small girl.”I wanted him to disagree with the substance of my argument, but by looking at me, young and female, it was easy for him to dismiss what I said. So …

Dear TTB Readers, Do You Believe Change Is Here?

The Things That Matter To You?

The weather was simply fantastic this morning and I couldn't let it go to waste. I decided to go for a nice long walk which turned into a full workout, thanks to peer pressure. LOL. Everyone seemed to be doing one exercise or the other and my sluggish stroll was incongruous with their frenetic activities, so I picked up the pace. Well, you know how those settings are, you get to meet people, which is the sole idea behind working out there, for some people. 
Someone came to chat me up, lively conversation. In the looks department he wasn't exactly easy on the eyes, but when he opened his mouth to talk it was a silky smooth baritone that you wouldn't mind falling asleep to. We chatted for a while, about ten minutes or so, but it was enough time to gather that he's really smart and has a great personality.
While I may never see him again, thinking about it makes me wonder. One lady might swoon over him for his great personality and charm, another might flick any thoughts…

That Other Side of Royalty.

Some nights ago I happened to be privy to a conversation a young married couple had. The husband lost on older family member and had just returned from his trip to the village. He was telling wifey how it all went when she asked; "How long did the church service last?". His reply; "there was no church service". "Ah ahn. Why nau? Christian burial without church service. Or wasn't he a christian?", she asked. "He was a Christian but he was a titled chief. They don't bury them in church. His 'people' came to do the burial in the burial ground". "Nawa o! All these fetish practices! And you're planning to get ozo title! Abeg o! Please think about me and the children, we are Christians". "What does being a Christian have anything to do with it?" He asked. "Those titles and royal families in Nigeria, the traditions don't go hand in hand with Christianity. Even if you say you are a Christian, all those ri…

Dear Thelma, (First Date Wahala).

Please i need a quick advise from you before i make a mistake again. Is it advisable for a girl to go to a guys house for their first date. I actually like the guy and i'm willing to start a relationship with him but i'm skeptical about going to his place the first time we are actually meeting. It might create a bad impression or something. What do you think about it please.     You can also throw it open for the house but i want your own honest answer first. The date is taking place tomorrow.

About Last Night.

Hey people. My posts these last few days have been neither here nor there. I don't know if my service providers are affected by the scarcity but service has been extremely poor. The WiFi connectivity is dead. It doesn't work for hours and then for about 5 minutes it does. That's how I've been able to put up the few posts I did.   
Last night I struggled for hours with the internet. I have some things I need to handle outside town and I knew I'd be out for the weekend. When I'm not working I'd be in my hotel room so I tried to download as many movies and series as possible, to keep me company in my solitude. I even called Uyi to suggest some good things I could watch. This kept me up till 2am. I finally gave up and fell asleep. At 3am I heard noises. Not to go into details but there were armed robbers in the house. And they were in the living room. We later learnt they were five. 
It was probably the scariest moment of my life by far. I called the emergency…

Dear Thelma... (To Post or Not To Post).

I told you last month that my husband has been cheating on me. I don't know if my husband has ever been faithful to me since the beginning of our marriage but before he used to have the decency to try and hide it. After our first baby he stopped trying to pretend. Please how can a man go to a bear parlour every night and come back in the morning, what do they do there?  I have begged cried prayed fasted even threatened to leave him but he does not care. That is the most painful part, when I say I will leave it is almost as if he is happy. With two children and my unemployed situation I cannot go anywhere. My friends have said I should ignore him and focus on other things, everybody says all men cheat and I should get used to it, that if I see what is happening in other marriages I will thank God for my own. I don't know how to get used to my husband sleeping with other women but I have tried. Now, my husband started dating this girl Chioma. Even the girl did not have the dece…

Giveaway... Size 42 Shoes!

Good morning guys! I've been meaning to do this for weeks but I haven't had the time. 
These are all size 42 shoes, all flats save for one and all fairly used, a few have never been worn though. The ones that are fairly used still have several years left in them, they're all great quality, some quite high-end (there's a Russel and Bromley and a pair of Salvatore Ferragamo), and we can kinda vouch for the quality of those shoes. If youre a size 42 and you're interested, leave your email in the comment section. Random selection. But you've got to be able to pick it up from Lekki, Lagos, or send someone to. There's no time frame but if I have them with me too long then it's likely I'll give them to someone else. 

Since the shoes on the far right are older than most of the others, I decided to compensate with a pair of Christain Dior heels, I've worn those just once or twice. 

One person gets three pairs each. 
I've also got some giveaway size 16/18…

Dear Haters, 5 Reasons I Need You.


Make Me Fabulous! Episode 1 Of Stephanie Linus Reality Show, Photos andVideo.

Stephanie Linus’ Reality TV show, Make Me Fabulous premiered on DSTV Africa Magic yesterday and it was a blast! In the first episode, a married couple - Ifeoma and Tunde Asolo, had the transformation of their lives with a chance to bond and resolve their marital challenges like never before.
For a chance to be on this show, couples had to talk about their challenges on Stephanie’s blog This was Ifeoma's challenge as she narrated it: 
"I got married march last year. Had miscarriage in June and Nov last year! Stop my job, hubby is complaining that am getting fatter and also that I worry much about getting pregnant soon without caring about him! It’s really affecting my marriage!! I think I need this to take away some stress off us!"
Stephanie felt so touched by her story that her team contacted Ifeoma and her husband, Tunde for a fabulous treat. The couple was picked up from their home in style with a Porsche car, lodged at the prestigious Intercontine…

Yay For Toolz & The Captain.

Some days ago Toolz and Captain Tunde Demuren left the country for a vacay in the Dominican Republic. I ate my metaphorical popcorn while reading the "interesting" comments on some blogs. 
She needs to stop deceiving herself he's never going to marry her He looks so unhappy Why is he just wasting her time, he should break up so she can move on His brothers are all married, look at him, what is he waiting for Toolz is just forcing herself on this guy Please I don't see anything in the Demuren guy, besides the family money, he should get lost. 
On and on and on it went. But a handful of people made one comment.  I smell a proposal!

Well here it is. Did someone say FINALLY!!! I'm a fan of these two and I'm so happy for them both. 

*isn't funny how most of us sit on the side and make judgments and conclusions on people's lives when we really don't know anything about it?*

Good Morning guys. Don't wait to see what kind of day you going to have, decide wh…

A Well Deserved Tongue Lashing.

Any wonder why Nigerians are treated like scum by immigration all over the world?
... I could just cover my head in shame right now. Which way Nigeria?

*** Photo source; Linda Ikeji's blog. 

How To Please a Nigerian Man- Etcetera.

This should be an interesting read...

Is something wrong with the Nigerian woman? Has she lost her beauty and power of seduction? How come Nigerian billionaires and politicians are all of a sudden having preference for foreign women? Or has the money syndrome finally caught up with them?…… Oops! Did you say it’s about time?
Hmmm maybe Nigerian men are difficult to satisfy like some of our ladies have claimed. But is that the appropriate excuse? Well, for any woman who truly knows her onions, pleasing a man (whether a Nigerian or not) is never a difficult feat. So ladies, here are some insights to a Nigerian man’s heart that will guide you to becoming the right woman in his eyes.
Submission has got a bad rap in recent years. The feminist movement has even made matters worse. Women are forgetting that submission wasn’t your man’s idea, it was God’s. “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22) Again the Word says, “Wives, submit yourselves unto your…