Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from December, 2015

Happy New Year 2016. Welcome To Your Best Year Yet!

What can I say guys, I always strongly believe that the best is still ahead, always ahead. And that's why I'm certain, that regardless of how great or ungreat your 2015 was, 2016 would be phenomenal!
I'm very thankful to God for keeping us alive to see this awesome new year. I'm so overwhelmed with gratitude, I can't even explain how blessed I feel right now. 
Happy New Year TTB readers, God bless us all!

My 2015 Flashback.

Things are looking very promising, and I know in good time I would be able to share my testimony in full. For now, all I can is my 2015 is the classic case of light at the end of the tunnel. 

Let's talk about your 2015. When you flashback how would you describe it, in as few or as many words as you choose. Share. 

Baby Mama Drama! Davido To Uncle Dele Momodu; "I'm not a meal ticket or an ATM".

I was just minding my business and trying to stay on the conscious side of a drug-induced haze (I'm quite ill at the moment), when I decided that Instagram would be a good way to stay awake a few minutes longer. It was there I bumped into this very interesting read. As you already know I'm no SDK or LIB and I have no background gist on this, even though there's obviously a lot of background. I enjoyed reading this solely for the literature and entertainment value, but your aproko love might be greater than mine, in which case, enjoy the read and fill us in on all we need to know!










Meanwhile who wrote this for Davido?
Dele Momodu has this say:








*** Ok goodnight. 

Yoruba Boys.

So some days ago I met this guy who looked like he just stepped out of one of the pictures above, the prototype destiny-changing yoruba boy that instagram and you momma warned you about. Sharp looking clean cut beard-gang member, white native (the modernized Agbada), fila (cap), designer shoes, lekki accent (rme) and general Lagos fuck-boy swag. 
I'd be honest I was taken aback, albeit pleasantly, when he chased down my car to ask for my number, I don't usually appeal to that type and that's been perfectly fine by me, because I really don't think I have the anointing to handle these high BP brothers. 
LOL. 
After he took my number he called a few minutes later to give me his and my friend gave me this Don'tdo it, don't go there! look. 
She said "Nwando it's not worth it, these yoruba boys are just demons; devourers, looking for hearts to break. Haven't you heard about them on social media?"
Well I certainly have but I've always wondered where t…

Stumbling Blocks and Springboards

An American man walked into a restaurant in London. As soon as he entered, he noticed an African man sitting in the corner.
So he walked over to the counter, removed his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! I am buying food for everyone in this restaurant, except that black African guy over there!"
So the waiter collected the money from the man and began serving free food to everyone in the restaurant, except the African. However,instead of becoming upset, the African simply looked up at the American and
shouted, "Thank you!" That infuriated the man. So once again, the American took out his wallet and shouted, "Waiter! This time I am buying bottles of wine and additional food for everyone in this bar, except for that African sitting in the corner over there!" So the waiter collected the money from the man and began serving free food and wine to
everyone in the bar except the African.
When the waiter finished serving the food and drinks, once again, instead of becoming …

'Tis The Season To Be Merry... Is It Really?

Christmas is a fun time for many so it's easy to get carried away with the festivities and forget that the world is full of unpleasantness and bad things don't take a break from happening just because it's Christmas. 
Last night I got a bit bored so I began to scroll through my whatsapp contact list and I was shocked to see that three good friends of mine had recently updated their status/pictures to announce the death of a parent! I was shocked to see Nnenna's father's obituary, and the other two saying adieu mama. I was so weak that I just sat on my bed and sobbed. 
A few days before Christmas, my friend at Ajao estate travelled out of town leaving his wife and maid at home. Later that night armed robbers visited their home and I'm not sure why robbers do this, but even though she didn't resist and readily gave them all the valuables at home, they shot her in the leg, just a few inches away from her vagina. Then they casually asked "e touch you?",…

Clare Says...

Dear friend I trust this message meets you well, compliments of the season. In this season of love I'm reaching out to you to please support me as I try to raise funds for an extremely intelligent young boy I know who may lose his admission to Unilag next week due to lack of funds. His mum is a widow. He needs 120k and I'm putting down 40k, please join me to help this very smart boy. No amount is small. PLEASE my acct: Clare Henshaw Diamond bank 0005661757. God bless. 


*** Guys, tiny drops of water make an ocean. Let's do what we can to help. Thank you!

Monogamy Is Ridiculous!

There's this commenter on one of my fav Nigerian blogs who also happens to be the famed one time Head-Girl of Queen's College, whose myriad of academic achievements are internationally recognized. I love her comments because they're often brief and quirky. But one thing I find very interesting about her is her views on monogamy which she often expresses on infidelity/marriage posts. She often states that monogamy is unnatural and its pursuit is futile. I always find it funny because I guess I still view her as an efico, lil miss nerdy goody two shoes. LOL.
Last night I caught an episode on TLC with Jodie Marsh trying to get to the bottom of cheaters and cheating. She interviewed a number of people. One was the CEO of a dating website which provides services for married people looking to have extramarital affairs. The website is still fairly young yet it has a turnover of over $20,000,000. The creator said the site has over 2,000,000 registered users worldwide, both male and…

My Neighbours.

Yesterday I went to spend Christmas with my parents and I was bemused to see different dishes in the kitchen with different kinds of rice, chicken and moi moi or salad. Each looked and tasted different and that's because they all came from different households. 
I was like wow! It's been ages since I saw this that I thought it had stopped. I mean, would you believe that I've lived in the lekki axis for three years now and I have never seen my neighbours? I do not know and have never seen the people that live in the houses beside and behind mine. I hear their voices sometimes, I see their cars drive in and out, but I've never seen, much less know them. This is a far cry from my parents neighbourhood where during religious holidays people still cook and send dishes to the neighbours. During Sallah the muslims still send you juicy pieces of fried ram and rice too. 
Coincidentally I came back home to an episode of Come Dine With Me SA. During a conversation, one of the diner…

Tiwa Savage's Outfit; 'Love It' or 'Make It Stop!'?

Mavin First Lady Tiwa Savage arrived the Mavin Access Concert in this hot number on Wednesday. Are you loving it or nah? 

Y'know, this is just what I needed to wake me this morning. I dragged my tired body off the bed and sleepily skulked to the kitchen to boil some water for coffee. I was almost drifting off to sleep when I saw this picture and BAAM! I was wide awake! Before I even saw the face I already thought what is this hot ratchet mess?! Then I saw its Aunty Tiwa and my disappointment soared. Tiwa has been trying too hard since she had the baby (me thinks), and it makes her come off as extremely insecure, as though she's worried that she's lost her place on a throne and is thirstily trying to regain it. I guess as they say all publicity is good publicity, but some people take that too literally.        Tiwa was this a dare, did someone put you up to it, or are you so desperate for attention that you're willing to sink so low just to get some? In any case you shoul…

A Very Merry Christmas To Us All!

I pray that as we celebrate the birth of baby Jesus, our lives and spirits are enriched by the festivities of the season. I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas. I love you all so much.

Shout Out To The Married Bachelors!

"I don't know where he is right now but if I see him I'll tell him to call you". Nothing wrong with this statement at all. Until you learn that that's the fourth time that statement was being made, in two days, and to the same person. 
You still might find it rather normal, until you hear that the caller is a wife, asking my friend if he had seen her husband as he hadn't come home in three days and his phones were switched off. You'd also notice that the wife wasn't worried, simply unhappy. 
She wasn't worried because as I've learnt, it's rather normal for dear husband to disappear sometimes for weeks. In fact I learnt that sometimes he goes home just once or twice a month. I wondered how a wife must feel about this, being home alone for weeks on end, knowing fully well that your husband is in town, in fact he's right there on the Island with you, probably even just on the next street. And what about the times when he does decide to leav…

24th to 28th. This Might Be The Best Christmas Or Nah?

My sister's colleagues came to do some work at her house yesterday and I was with them. From the second they got here it was groaning galore. They lamented about work and how they wished some miracle would occur because they were very tired and needed a break, and 25th & 26th just wouldn't do. It seemed like a Christmas miracle when the news suddenly hit us; 24th and 28th had just been declared as public holidays!
Guys, it's going to be a long Christmas, any plans on how you're going to spend it? I'm not sure what my plans are yet (besides joining the food fest at Chocolate's mum's house on the 25th) but I've been looking forward to a lot, Including receiving gifts. And guess what, the gifts have started coming! I received my giveaway from Pynk360 blog yesterday and it had 25 pieces of jewelry. Check them out below. 






Thanks Miss Pynk. 

So guys, have you made any plans yet. Now, while some people are rejoicing and kissing Buhari, others are sniggering a…

Christmas In Lagos Family Funfair Starts Today

5 Days Of Fun & Entertainment Begins Today 23rd Dec to Sunday 27th Dec At The Muri Okunola Park, VI 
Christmas in Lagos would not be the same. The Christmas fun has officially begun and the Muri Okunola Park, Victoria Island is the destination for all! From 10am – 6pmdaily it will be daytime fun for the kids with Santa Village. At night, the venue will be transformed to a hotspot for the adults from 7pm till dawn where the hottest DJ’s, live bands, comedians, and more will entertain the guests to the fullest!
There will be maximum security and loads of fun for the entire family.
Day Time Series: 10am to 6pm daily
Catch the Xmas fever and don’t be left out. Total fun for the entire family, games for kids, photo booths, competitions and lots more. Be merry and let the kids come visit Santa, get gifts, play with awesome games and take pictures in our one-of-a-kind Santa village powered by Play Barn.
* Wide variety of food you won't want to leave.
Night Time Series: 7pm till .....
Decemb…

When Your Boss's Wife Hates You.

One of us, who also happens to be my cousin, is in a bind and has decided to share with us. Let's call her Sope. Sope has worked for her company for over five years and has risen steadily in the rungs. She's always had a very good relationship with the boss, and meeting and surpassing her targets made her a favorite of his. He would extol her great virtues not just at the office but also at home. 
Sope became close to his family and became a regular at most family functions. The boss's wife loved Sope and I remember a particular incident where Madam scolded Sope for carrying a knock off Versace bag. Sope bought that bag at that place in Manhattan where you get amahzing knock offs that were almost the real thing. Those ones that are even more authentic than the items people pass off  as "original designer" in Lagos. Still knock-offs nonetheless. This particular knock off cost Sope hundreds of dollars and in her mind she was a big geh. Until madam scolded her for ca…

Gaining Time- Chris Yinks

Time is viewed by many from differing perspective - to some it is a resource/tool; a few appreciate and value it; while many consider it a constant (as long as there is life, there is time). More than a decade ago, I remember reading a prose on the value of time, which to say the least, was aptly discerning. Paraphrased, it goes thus:“To know the value of a year, ask a child who has to repeat a class; To know the value of nine months, ask a mother delivered of a still birth;To know the value of a millisecond, ask an Olympic hundred meter athlete“
A widely used analogy to understand the value of time is to consider each day as eighty six thousand four hundred dollar($86,400) [a day has 86,400 seconds i.e. 60 * 60 *24 seconds] credit given at the beginning of a day and that one’s decision each day decides the utility/value derived from each day. The question arises – how does one derive maximum value from one’s time and ultimately from one’s lifetime? The information age that defines thi…

Mummy-In-Training.

I've got designer bags
I've got designer bags under my eyes!
I'm so sorry for shirking my responsibilities as a blogger; my duty to furnish you with regular posts. It's just that it's a really busy month and then to top it up my sister came back with her brood and then almost immediately had to leave town for something, leaving me with a two month old and two little children! I'm at my wits end but what can I do? She returned last night but resumed work this morning so there's not much relief for me. I've barely had time to eat or bath much less blog. Like, I have no idea what's going on in the world at the moment. 
At this point I doff my hat to all mummy bloggers, I don't know how y'all do it. Especially to you MFA of Lifetitudes (www.lifetitudes.com), who not only updates regularly but runs her own businesses and is a nursing momma! Bride2Mum and Lohla's Melange as well. Oh, and although I don't know Sisiyemmie I must applaud her to.…

Dear Thelma, (Gang-Raped and About To Wed).

Hello Thelma, a few weeks back a colleague of mine was abducted and raped by a gang of Devils. We have already run a rape kit process for her and started her on ART and counseling. The problem is that she is supposed to be getting married in a couple of weeks, plans are already underway and everything is almost set. She reached out to me for advise but I did not know how to advise her because this is am extremely sensitive matter. I don't know if it's wise to tell him or to keep it to herself. I know she loves him dearly and has been looking forward to the marriage and vice versa but I cannot predict how he will react to what happened. My question is should she or should she not? If you're the fiancée would you want to know or not? Before the wedding? Would you go on with the wedding as planned or not? Should you even go on with the wedding? Would you still marry her or not? Please I need very honest realistic answers. Thank you all.

Not Going Nowhere In Lagos!

My dear Lagosians please what the heck is happening? Moving around has become a nightmare! This started a few weeks ago and we thought it was just one of those things but slowly and steadily it's only gotten worse. Yesterday I spent hours trying to get into surulere from the island. Later in the evening after spending hours trying to get back to the island I gave up and turned the car back around to my parents' home, and even that took another one hour from my life.       I woke up very early this morning thinking I could beat the traffic, at least leave the house before 7am. 7am on a Saturday morning, that would usually be a breeze getting back to the other side of town. Alas, I got to Masha road and I saw it was blocked all the way to the stadium and beyond. I turned around and tried to connect Western Avenue from Gbaja. I saw people doing one-way there and I was informed that Western Anenue was blocked. These days people in Surulere have taken to going to Yaba to get to the …

Dear Thelma... (Should We Have "The Talk"?)

I went to a lounge that was turned into a club for Woman Crush Wednesday on the 28th of October. I went to the club with a friend who wanted her ex to see her looking hot and good. (So she looked hot in very skimpy clothes). 
At the club, I saw a "beard gang"man sitting opposite us (I'm into beards). I mentioned him to my friend a few times(sowed the seed into her head). And she asked me to approach him. I was reluctant so she offered to talk to him for me and I pretended to be shy. My friend went ahead to talk to him. And he came to me when I was alone. He introduced himself and we exchanged contact he offered  and paid for our drinks. After a while, I stepped  out for fresh air and I saw him outside. He called me and  we talked for awhile. 
He visited me at home on Sunday. (I live alone). We talked like we've known each other for so long. Then he told me he is 36 (I'm 24) from the North and a Muslim #NotStaunch  (We are Ghanaians). But lives in New York and has n…