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Dear Thelma, Was I Wrong?




Hi TTB, please I'm going through a lot right now and I need your advise. I was engaged to wed around Easter but I became very nervous because I lost my job in Agust last year, because my company was downsizing. Ever since then I have been job hunting but it hasn't been successful so I decided to try my hands at business. I have been so desperate and am willing to do anything as long as it is legal and morally right. This is so because I have never wanted to enter marriage and be unemployed or financially dependent on my husband. He is doing ok, not like he is very rich but he his salary is ok for us to manage, but I never wanted that. My friend said her company was looking for vendors and she can connect me with somebody who can help me bid for a small contract which she did. I spoke with him and he said because of his busy hours that we would have to meet after work much later in the evening because he works very late. He said he would meet in a bar because that is where he eats and likes to have drinks after work. Honestly I didn't think anything of it and beside he was doing me a favour and I was grateful to meet him even if it was late, after all it's a public place. 
     When I went there he was with another of his colleagues and they insisted I should relax and have a chapman. They both wanted to unwind after hard days work so they were very relaxed and we all got gisting, I didn't mind because I felt that if they flow well with me and accept me it will help me better with the contract. While we were talking my fiancées elder brother came in with some friends, it was about 11pm by now. I went to greet him and even brought him to meet the guys, and I told him that they were trying to help me with a contract in their company and he was friendly with them, even telling them that I'm his sister and they should please try their best to help me. Unfortunately after that he immediately called my fiancée and told him that I am meeting with men late at night and is that the kind of person he wants for a wife? He has told the whole family how he saw me at midnight flirting with men in a bar and they have all become cold to me and my family. I have tried to explain and I have begged my fiancee, I have cried, I am even ready to swear that I was only there to try and get a contract so that I can make my own contributions towards our wedding. Now he is saying that even though he loves me he is not sure I am the right fit for a wife and that his family no longer approves of our union. Please I need your advise, I am nearing thirty, I still don't have a job, business or contract and I don't know what will happen to me if his family cancels the wedding after two years of courting. Please tell me if what I did was wrong. Thank you. 

Comments

  1. You didnt do anything wrong. The man is insecure and a family boy. The type who will believe people over his wife. Thank your stars he's shown his true naive character, cos if you marry that type na one chance you go enter. Better to send chronicles before marriage and wise up than after marriage.

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  2. No matter the outcome, u wld be fine...

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  3. Hmmm... Hun I understand your stand on financial independence. That's how it should be. For your fiancée and his family I'll advise you let them be. Since you explained and apologized. Please continue your search for a job/contract. If they don't understand please move on as difficult as it may seem or be. Please consider it a saving grace. Nigga wanted out all along. Should he change his mind bear in mind you may (in fact) will not have a good relationship with he brother and other relatives. They will always look out for you to fail just to prove a point.
    They seem like the type to perform cruel widow rites.

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  4. Dear Poster, I'm usually miffed at the lack of communication as wedding bells draw close. After 2 SOLID years of courting, he doesn't trust you, even after all the explanation? Well I'm sorry to say, that's crazy of him and his (supportive) family members.

    That aside, I noticed something about your post. Perhaps (as with most posters who seek advice from BVs) you're not obliged to share much of your relationship history, I'm not so sure, but I noticed that it's not just about the time you've invested in it, it's the desire/principle of being empowered at all costs in your marriage. From the look of things it seems you've noticed his ego and the damage it could do but failed to adequately address it. His family members have also bought into it and its now a contagious culture among them. In a bid not to be *enslaved* by this culture, you're now desperate for your own source of income. I may be wrong, but this is what I deduced. And if I'm right, why so desperate when your fiancé is very ok? It's 2 years, and he knows your worth, and you know that he knows your worth (obviously?), so why desperate?

    I'm so sorry dear, as extremely sad as it is, I think you just got saved from a dangerous bullet. It doesn't make sense that a man (even if he's promiscuous) wouldn't listen to any kind of explanation from someone he's engaged to and courted for over 730 days, especially after it was pretty clear you had nothing to hide from his brother. I'll advise you try explaining yourself again, NOT APOLOGIZING, but exlain everything once more to him. If he's adamant still, just move on proudly. HE who sees all will surely guide your steps. I hope this helps.

    Stay blessed dear.

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    Replies
    1. But if you guys have been courting for over two years... Communication with him should have been much more. I mean, someone u r abt marrying doesn't even know u went on a 'business meeting' by 11pm?

      You self get your own wahala... I see no reason why he should trust you.
      Go and find a way to make things work better between u guys. The fact that you can go on a 'business meeting' by 11pm and he isn't even aware of it? and there's plan for marraige, C'mon.
      Communication in Ur relationship needs more work than just getting married.

      Delete
  5. Too naive and plain stupid of her. I don't blame the broda anywaz, she was in a wrong place @ a wrong time. She would have to ask her friend dat brought the contact to speak with her fiancée and if possible, ask the guy she went to meet to help her talk to her fiancee, d guy shld understand what the fiancée's family is saying and why they are taking that stance. But na wa for our men these days sha, u won't trust d woman u want to marry, hian!

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  6. No offence, but your fiancé is a boneless spineless wimp for him to take his brother's words over yours and even go as far as threatening to call off your engagement. If in the 2 years that you have been together, you haven't given him any reason to doubt your integrity, why call off the relationship over something as little as this especially after explaining the circumstances surrounding the late night meeting?

    No one can advise you on what to do, the only thing I can tell you to do is to keep praying and be sure he's really God's choice for you. If he is he will stay, if he isnt, he will leave and you need to prepare yourself for this possibility and know that him leaving you is not the end of the world but a dodged bullet in the long run.

    Stay strong.

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  7. Very wrong dear!!
    11pm is unacceptable. Don't blame the bro for reporting you bcos he did the right thing. You would do same if it were ur bro. Afterall you could as well have been lying about why u were der.
    11pm is almost midnight and I'm surprised you didn't mention it to your fiance before going. Bad!!

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    Replies
    1. I agree with you Anon ... no matter how rash your fiancé is reacting to this the time is just wrong,even maybe the place thecompany and it's state coupled with the fact that you did not tell him(considering that marriage was imminent)

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  8. Definitely, you were not wrong. The said brother is just being shallow and deceptive. If the said fiance is not receptive to your explanation, then move on. God has better things in store for you.

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  9. I dnt know how pple communicate with their partners. How come he dint know u were meeting up with a guy, and then u were out at that time?
    That said, why does he not believe you? If he will not stand for you now that u are not yet married, I doubt he will when u are his wife.
    Whatever happens, u will be fine.

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  10. Hmmm, you were not wrong but put yourself in his brother's shoes too, you would have done the same thing. The problem is that you did not discuss this "meeting" with your fiance beforehand, maybe because you knew he will not approve. But if you had told him, his brother calling to report you will not have any effect. At this point all you can do is apologize, maybe even get your girlfriend to explain to him, and then pray hard.

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  11. You were wrong because u didn't inform your fiancée before hand and it was an ungodly hour for u to b out without him, if u had told him,then he wouldn't have been taken aback when his brother told him,that said,it's obvious he doesn't trust u enough to believe u,guess u should involve those u had d meting with and your girlfriend so they can talk to him,at least that should calm him down and if he still persistent, then move on n let him be because I have learnt that a broken relationship is better than a broken home,if he is your husband, nothing can separate you guys, its not about your age,it about your comfort and happiness. I hope he forgives you.

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    Replies
    1. Omo I thought I must be going crazy when I was reading some comments here, classic case of judging from only one angle. I admit that the guy's reaction is extremely wrong except she has given him reason to doubt her fidelity in the past.

      There's obviously some trust issues if not she would have told him that she was going for a meeting at that time (by the way I don't know any man who would smile at hearing his fiance was at a bar with other men at 11pm), she didn't tell him because she knew what she was doing was wrong and he would not approve. In my opinion any business that will keep my fiance out with strangers at a bar till 11pm isn't worth it. If they can't have the meeting at a holy hour then the money should go. Think about it as a girl, if you saw your brother's fiance at a bar at that time with men you don't know you would have almost the same reaction, unless you're very close to the fiance and you usually help her cover her tracks.
      As Maybel said, broken relationship is better than a broken home. It's painful but you're better marrying into another family, you won't be happy here. Please in the future let your man know your plans and hear what he thinks. That way if someone tells him they saw you at a bar by 11pm he'll tell the person that he knows.

      Delete
    2. "...I have been so desperate and am willing to do anything as long as it is legal and morally right..."

      "...because of his busy hours that we would have to meet after work much later in the evening because he works very late...".

      Steele and Maybel, let's be frank here. First, from these statements it shows outrightly that she's not the *late hour biz* type. She was DESPERATE to get a legal job. Secondly, I doubt if she was a guy, we would be bothered by the fact that she was at a bar by 2 am trying to strike a deal. And lastly, why are we assuming her fiancé was within a 20 mile radius of her location that she had to tell him about a late hour meeting? And even if he was within reach, would anyone bother if the deal was successfully hit and the worth was in millions?

      What we should be asking is why she should be so desperate in looking for a job when her husband to be is very ok, not admonishing her for looking for a means to an end that stretched into the night. She didn't do this deliberately.

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    3. Maybel you have said it all biko.

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    4. Memphis maybe it's just me but as I said in my opinion my partner should know where I'm at all times and vice versa. Is 20 miles far? What happened to phones and text messages? There are two types of surprises, the good and bad. This type can hurt the trust in a relationship.
      If it was a guy and someone told his fiance that she saw him with ladies at a bar at night and he didn't tell her he was going anywhere beforehand she'll have the same reaction except she's the type that lets her man get away with nonsense just because she's the man in the relationship, my partner is not that type.

      Delete
    5. Steele u just saved me the stress of having to type my reply. When I still had a relationship n he calls to ask where I am by 9pm n m not home n he never knew prior to the time that I would b out late,ehhhhh,I must explain till saliva dries off my mouth talk more of 11pm. She was all shades of wrong biko.

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    6. Maybel dear, I understand you completely but let me ask: Has he EVER stayed out late? If yes, have you put him on an explanation dock that made him drain the saliva from his mouth?

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    7. Memphis dear he was never a night crawler when we dated,he never drank nor smoked, so its from d office to d house, that's why he would usually react that way. Hope have answered your question.

      Delete
  12. Communication ish....it can cause plenty things...you will be fine dear.

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  13. You were wrong for scheduling a meeting with a man, at night and not letting him in on it. Since it is business, why the secrecy?

    I should say 11pm was too late, but I have had very late meetings too, sometimes, one can be in a "serious good fix" yet I think you could have influenced the time plan.
    You tried to damage control -introducing his brother to them (you did not mention you introduced him as your fiancé' brother; at least proving to him that the men would know you are kinda hooked,he said you were his sister and you allowed it. [I am being explicit here.])

    It is unfortunate there is a communication gap between you two and trust issues and he has shown that to his family.
    I do not think it is a good thing that he is being influenced, to the point of having doubts about your being a suitable wife for him, because of his family.

    It is good you have apologised and explained the situation.

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    Replies
    1. Yes same thing I thought.There are 4 things wrong here:1)11pm 2)Bar 3)men 4)Fiance was not aware.
      Why did Mr. contractor have to keep you out so late?Abi na so the chapman come sweet?
      Maybe your fiance has been suspecting you, cos one instance isn't enough to just call it quit.
      Let him be for now,if he truly loves you, he will come around.

      Delete
    2. Hahahaha, Bloggitup you're a clown.

      Delete
  14. Hey Guys! Happy new Year! I guess it's better late than never!

    On this issue, let me ask y'all to reverse the situation: if it were the guy, would we be tongue-lashing? Dear Poster, you have done nothing wrong. That you even went to your fiance's brother and introduced him to the group was very mature. Like someone else said, your desire not to depend on your man must have stemmed from something you saw in his character.

    If you ask me, I will say you cry all you can and drain yourself of the pain and move on. It is better it happened now than later.

    But wait o! After two whole years of dating and courting?! hmmmmmmmm........

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  15. I am always team 'working woman/mum' but just like Maybel and others rightly pointed out, you did wrong by being in a bar with men who are not your close relatives at 11pm without your Fiancee's knowledge and consent. Communication is key to the success of relationships. I and my husband live in different states but when I am about doing something which is out of the norm, I call/text to inform him and seek his understanding. Aside this, your security/safety should even matter a lot to you. With some of the incredibly evil news that abound these days, desperation for empowerment should not drive us to the point of recklessness.

    That said, I think you should stop apologizing. The more you apologize, the more pathetic and desperate you'll look. It would seem you're trying too hard to cover up something. Stop apologizing; write him to re-state the facts of the matter, just for the records and wish him well in his decisions. At the end, what will be will be. If it ends in separation, use the opportunity to re-strategize in your empowerment pursuit. Trust me, men always seek empowered women. Yours shall come.

    Wish you all the best.

    -F

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    1. Consent ke? To pursue a contract that would empower me(or a meeting that would lead to it).. I have to seek my "fiance's" consent?! Ha! Maybe inform him.. yes! But consent.. o well! Maybe iv not fully grasped the whole fiance Kini and how to behave when you're engaged.


      Meanwhile Memphis... all I see in your comments is why is she desperate to get a job or have something going when her fiance is okay. Really?! I'm not even in a relationship atm but being idle can drive me crazy. So if I was in her shoes, I won't care if the guy is very rich or doing well.. i'll be "desperate" to get a job and be empowered. That is not strange at all!!! And it doesn't have to be about the guy's character.

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    2. Kabuoy, there's no way a comfortable guy would know his fiance is trying to empower herself and let her run upandan when he can obviously help. It's not normal. You would only be desperate if your fiance isn't aware of your predicament, or he knows and he's nonchalant about it. That's why I asked...and still asking.

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    3. Kabuoy you maybe right, maybe you've not grasped the whole fiance kini. This isn't about being desperate, this isn't about wanting to empower yourself, this isn't about being independent. This is about honesty and clear conscience.

      You guys have missed a very crucial maybe, it's very possible that they had been chatting all day, talked on the phone like 3 times that same day but somehow she forgot to mention, even once, that she had a job interview/contract meeting. If her conscience was clear and she knew there was nothing wrong why didn't she mention it? Why wait for his brother to see her then take him to go and introduce to Mr contractor, in my circle that's a typical guilt move. Girls are very sharp these days. A girl will introduce her fiance to her aristo and say he's her father's brother, so forget.

      Isn't her fiance meant to be her number one motivator? Isn't he that one that will encourage her to go for what she wants and deserves? But in this case she knew that this meeting wasn't pure, forget all those stories that touch she's been spewing.

      Delete
    4. "...this meeting wasn't pure, forget all those stories that touch she's been spewing...".

      Bros your head de dia small, but let's not conclude...yet. That's why I was skeptical at first. Remember she says she's looking for something that is "moral and legal"? That should grant her some benefit of doubt. When you're desperate for a job, you lose track of time. This is normal.

      Again you ask: "...Isn't her fiance meant to be her number one motivator? Isn't he that one that will encourage her to go for what she wants and deserves...". Reason why I asked why she's desperate. HE'S NOT MOTIVATING HER, for whatever reason. So if the motivation isn't there and she's desperate, in her shoes, would you cancel a potential life changing meeting because it stretches to 1 am? And as for the "let him know your whereabouts" ish; she's not a wife yet, and we shouldn't assume they're cohabiting. Should she then be giving update every now and then of her plans? Remember that post on that lady who says her fiance was updating upandan? What was our agreement?

      The elder brother sef was even a witness to the *platonic* meeting but I can't understand why he decided to write African Magic script to his family members. Seems they never wanted her in the first place.

      She should try explaining one more time (not apologizing). If he's still adamant, then this matter no be just "meeting matter", she should forget the whole thing.

      Delete
    5. *a round of applause* Steele and Memphis... you're "well done"! thanks for finally stating what you really think. That the babe's ways are really not pure and she has ulterior motives. But really though, have you guys(not only both of you) been hurt so bad by ladies that by default you just think something is definitely not pure or she's cheating. Y'all need to deal with your trust issues cuz it's really getting in the way of reasoning and common sense. No offense! Granted, she should have informed him. But it might have been an oversight. They probably didn't talk that day, and when they did, the meeting had probably not been scheduled. Or when she tried to reach him to inform him, he was unavailable. Or she just simply wanted to do things on her own without having to inform anyone. It could have been any of those reasons, But NO! You won't explore these possibilities. Her way is not pure!
      And to your question about her fiance being her number 1 motivator. Not necessarily.

      O baby jare... see ehn.. fine! You didn't tell him... that was wrong. But what is done is done. If he can't get past it.. there's nothing you can do about it. Just move on.

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    6. Bia bia bia Kabuoy, this ya rant is for Steele o, not me. She's ready to do things on the straight and narrow and that's very fine. But someone who loses track of time transacting business deals is desperate, fine or not. If she's desperate, fiancé hasn't got her back. That's my take, and that's not cool. I just want to know why he hasn't got her back because that's not normal at all.

      So my question still stands.

      Delete
    7. "No offense! Granted, she should have informed him..." This is the entire point of this whole issue. So there's no 'no offense' and you are not "granted" to do that.

      On a side note; I think you, Kabouy, will easily find a husband oh! The type u are looking for, with the direction you are taking your arguments to, are very many out there... Them go use you take do ping pong, then you start crying(optional) to TTB.

      Delete
    8. Taaaah Uyi! Come and be crying where?! You people just hate to hear the truth... ping pong kor... gerrarahia mahn!

      Delete
  16. The only problem I see here is communication. Once I had a meeting with a male client and it had to take place outside work environment, I told my then fiance about it and he suggested a place not far from his house, as a matter of fact, it was a place on his street.
    As expected, someone saw me and went to do aproko, he simply smiled and said ''yeah, thanks I know say she dey dere.''
    Then again, the elder brother sef, the way he reported what he saw sure contributed to the guy's reaction.
    If in your shoes dear poster, I would hate to involve a third party in my relationship myself. He should be your bestfriend first. Let him be. God's got you babe!

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  17. bae you are wrong dear. I wouldn't even be out by that time without my fiancé knowing. still you could have gone with a friend or sis to be on a safer side. but ur boo sef no try, sheybi na ordinary bar dem see u dey drink Chapman? no be sey dem catch man untop u for hotel. forget the age tin (abi u b yoruba) I was 30 last year, broke up with boo last year, lost my job last year, thank God for little savings and good friends. just got a more paying job this January, love life looking good but am taking my time not to waste my time again. Our God is still in the business of performing wonders except you ain't serving a living God.

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    Replies
    1. We need more people like you to remind our women that being single at 30 isn't a death sentence.

      Delete
  18. Nice blog though information provided you is so easy to understand but it is nice to comment on such blog where people can read such interesting posts.

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  19. You didnt do anything wrong and you wont die if he leaves you, It will just hurt for a while.
    Good you have apologised.
    Dont try to think of what ifs and what could have been.
    Focus on the future,Nothing like a woman who got her SHIT together, Financial Independence is a must. Forget this turning 30 story, You go marry.
    30 is the new 16.
    Be happy darling.

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  20. This story isn't complete. Some issues have been lingering before now as Memphis has said. If not addressed, even after marriage she will meet potholes.

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  21. This is my first time commenting here though am one of those secret readers and i must add you're doing a great job Thelma.
    Now to the issue, i don't think you did any wrong dear poster. lets assume you are a high network marketer in a multinational and have to shuttle between meetings with different high clients in different exotic locations would you be able to constantly update your partner on all your movements? the problem here is that you both still need to know yourselves. you should be able to protect and defend each other even if the other party is wrong, and by the way you're going to be one soon. your fiancee should be able to tell what his soon to be wife 'can or cannot do' if he cant then why is he marrying you. most times i get so busy that i don't check in with my bf till probably very late at night or the next day would i now call off my relationship cos my sister thinks he is unfaithful cos she ran into him in a bar. does it not mean that i can conclude that that my sister is in same shoes with him too by the way they both met in the bar?
    Seek God, be happy and believe everything would work out fine no point killing yourself over a man.

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    Replies
    1. "...you are a high network marketer in a multinational and have to shuttle between meetings with different high clients in different exotic locations would you be able to constantly update your partner on all your movements?..."

      You deserve a bell and a kiss (kabuoy no vex).

      Two things actually baffle me:
      1) Why everyone telling her she should apologize or saying she's wrong would do same if the deal was successful and worth millions or if she was a MAN.
      2) why the same people base their opinions on a fact that she's cohibiting with her fiance or within the same locality as he. Or did I miss that part?

      Delete
    2. Memphis and Mirabel, if she was like the word u used but in this case she isn't working with those multinational or networking companies, she doesn't have a job and hence his reaction, if she was working,he wouldn't have taken it personal.

      Delete
    3. Looool! I don vex ooo! A bell is alright! Which one is kiss there again! Loool

      Delete
    4. Looool! I don vex ooo! A bell is alright! Which one is kiss there again! Loool

      Delete
    5. See Kabouy blushing all over here... My friend, gerrarahia mehn shi!!! Lol

      Delete
    6. Lmaooo! Agbaya ni e Uyi! See your face! You wie noh mind your business now and jejely walk away. Shubby!

      Delete
    7. Maybel thank you, you guys just brought it a totally different scenario. How that is similar to this I don't know.
      There was a time I told my gf that I wasn't going to go out to the club, but my friends invited me at the last minute and I decided to go. Before leaving the house I had to call her and tell her, so that I'll avoid any confusion. You have to communicate with your partner, as I said before real relationships take a lot of work. That's the only way trust can be built.

      Delete
    8. "communication communication". This happens ONLY when both parties are within reach of each other as far as this situation is concerned. Why are we assuming she was living with her fiance or they're in the same locality for us to be talking about communication? Is it remotely stated somewhere? The scenario isn't different in any way.

      Steele, remember a Poster once complained about a lady her fiance met overseas and he kept updating her? We both concluded something was amiss. Why the frequent updates? If your SO was in a different locality and she calls you to say she has a meeting with someone who could broker a serious deal with her by 9pm, would it make any difference if she didn't tell you at all?

      I don't even understand why she's getting most of the knocks. What about her fiance and his family members that are busy acting film on moral grounds? That one make sense to y'all? It's weird that she's tried to explain (and even tried to apologize) and the bros is still feeling sort of pompous. Nna, K-leg de inside biko.

      Delete
    9. She is getting the knocks because she didn't communicate with the guy,shikena. Memphis, make I ask u,if u hear from a source that can't lie n u trust that your babe was in a bar at about that time,plsss will u hug n shake her and tell her she has done well? Let's call a spade a spade biko,the family's reaction is normal, very very normal,especially if they are from the western part, because Yoruba's already see a girlfriend as a wife,so any little mistake,they get disappointed.

      Delete
  22. Lol- why do folks worry about being single at 30? I guess folks dont understand that when God fights battles for you, you can never lose. I married at 32 after a bunch of circus and I will always say- my husband in 10x more amazing than I even asked God for or could ever imagine.

    The error in your ways is that you didn't let your fiance knoe beforehand and depending on the type of person you are dating 11pm may be grossly inappropriate. That kind of thing by 9pm you drop the hint that you look forward to discussing further but unfortunately its past your safety comfort zone and need to get on for your own security as a woman.

    As for your fiance abi na ex - do not apologise or explain any further. Simply send a detailed text message letting him know and that you understand his stancr and wish him well. For all you know he may have been looking for a way out all along. Afterall men have married former proven prostitutes in the past, and your own matter is mild.

    Keep your head up and learn that delay is not denial and desperation is not a good trait to exhibit. Do the necessary work and hand over the rest in faith that he who created you will provide for you.

    www.pynk360.com

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  23. I go with maybel,Steele and uyi on this no sane man will be happy to hear that his fiancee is with other at 11pm without his knowledge abeg its all shade of wrong.anyway what will be will be.

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  24. one time in school, i just passed my exams and i had this egbon (older platonic friend) who wanted to take me out to celebrate. took me to londoners then in those days. as we were having dinner, my bf's friend who i knew didnt like me came up to us and said hello. i introduced them and moved on, i was younger and very carefree so i didnt even think too much. informed my bf that night that i went out and all was well. almost a year later, he told me that the friend had called him immediately he saw me and even took a picture, luckily my bf really trusted me and maybe because i mentioned it to him, i dont know but he didnt hold it against me. just said i should have told him before and not after.
    men are weird and most of them generally have trust issues. maybe because they know what they are capable of. something tells me this story is incomplete though. we women are found of sayings stories in ways that favour us. i wish you all the best poster. dont beg him again, dont even contact him after you have sent a logical text detailing what happened. whatever you do, dont apologise or beg him. it makes you desperate and guilty and nobody likes that.

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  25. Valuable very touchable information. I would like to thank you for sharing your great facts.Easily Business |

    ReplyDelete

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"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

***
This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…

#WriteRight. VIVIAN: MY FIRST SEX EXPERIENCE WITH MY BOYFRIEND

He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
Kai!
See how you are serious dey read this story....!
My…

...

Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...

THE ‘NEW’ SIDE CHICK: I WAS HER

A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…

Shhhhhhh....

I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Question of The Day.

TTB readers doesn't this tweet below remind you of something?
That mail that someone sent me a few weeks back. 
But why on earth should a man sleep with his son's fiancé? But what am I saying, some men even sleep with their daughters...

Oh well, I'm throwing the question to you. What has happened in your life that you never saw coming, you never hesperred it, you never imagined could happen, you never imagined could happen to you? 
It could be good, it could be bad, it could be ugly. Do tell!
And it can be more than one. Let me tell you a few. 
-owning a blog -week long dry fast at Prayer City (I never hesperred it).  -staying in an (emotionally) abusive relationship.
The others require anonymity. LOL. Now over to you.

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 


Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.


Uyi & Tiwa