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Do You Want To Get Married?- The Lady.




My friend recently concluded the final stages of her professional exams. She shared the news with her father and his response was unexpected. He pretty much brushed her success aside and proceeded to lecture on her on childbearing and female fertility. To put things in perspective, my friend is in her late 20s. Has a master's degree, decent job and has plans of pursuing a doctorate. Her father has always supported the idea of a doctorate and encouraged her to pursue her dreams regardless of what anyone has to say. Did I add that she is smart and gorgeous as well?


Naturally, she was upset at his response, but brushed it aside. What she could not get over was the fact that he assumed she wanted to get married. Nigerians don't ask if you want to get married, it is assumed. Who are you not to want to get married? How dare you be different? My friend has no intentions of getting married and no, she won't change her mind thank you. Face your own desires. She is not averse to relationships and has dated a few good men. She is upfront with all these guys about not wanting to get married, but as with most of you reading, they believe it is only a matter of time before she changes her mind. If you like, yimu. Your nose will fall off.


It never ceases to amaze me when people think 'go and marry' or 'no man will marry you' is a valid insult a la the brothers. Have you considered that is possible that others have goals and aspirations that differ from yours and their dreams are just as valid as yours? That their decision is as natural to them as yours is to you? That just as marriage fulfils you, being single fulfils them?


I recently came across Shonda's interview with Oprah where they touched on marriage. Both of them received marriage proposals, which they ultimately turned down. In her book, Year of Yes, Shonda explains how she turned down the proposal and finally admitted out loud she did not want to get married. She knew she wanted kids and has 3 kids now (2 adopted and 1 surrogate). The female Taiwanese president recently responded to why she never got married saying why get the entire pig, when you can get the sausage. These women knew what they did not want and are living their dreams at the peak of their careers. I am sure there are Nigerian women like that, but who will never publicly admit it because society will shame them.


What amazes me the most about all these people pushing others to get married is that some of them have the worst marriages or are even divorced. Yet, they don't bother to proffer any advice on choosing a spouse or making a marriage work. They don't ask about finances, work or accommodation. They don't care if one is mentally prepared or not. I've heard tales of marriages crashing within a year and when I think of my friend, I wonder of how many of those people allowed themselves to be pressured when they had no business getting married.


My word of wisdom - mind your business and stop pressuring anyone to get married! Don't even assume. First question should always be 'do you want to get married?' Thereafter, you can offer your unsolicited advice.



***

The Lady, I look forward to reading more from you!

Comments

  1. Nice.....dazzall no more no less

    ReplyDelete
  2. Well I think it's more complicated when two people are in a relationship, they feel they can't live without each other but one of them doesn't want to get married, what does one do in that situation?

    Meanwhile I'm in a situation, I recently decided that I wasn't going to have sex till I get married. My partner on the other hand had this reaction... She said then we better get married quick... I'm not ready just yet.
    Next thing she said what if we now wait and your thing stops working because you haven't been servicing it?
    The latest, which was today, she told me that she read somewhere that lack of regular sex increases the chances of prostate cancer, and if you stay too long without sex your sperm will start to smell rotten so I better start masturbating. Lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hhahahaahahhahahahaaha Steele ohhhh,your babe is a comedienne, chaiiiiii. Ahahhahahahahaha. Na lie oh,nothing will do ur thing. The bottom line is,your babe is trying to tell you she can't stay long without sex. So it's either u marry her sharply or another thing go follow.

      Delete
    2. LMAO! Oga Steele, what are you doing in a relationship when you're not ready to get married? The temptation will be too much and very soon, you'll succumb to one of these stories...lol

      We both know that the second story is false but that third one..lol What are wet dreams for? I know they taught us in school that wet dreams is the natural way the body expels excess sperm so the boys shouldn't be afraid when they wake up with stuff in their pants. I don't know if its the same for men tho but I think it should be.

      Anywaiz, my point is, lots of guys wait till they get married, some even in their thirties and have gone ahead to have children and stuff so, if you want to wait, wait but don't put yourself in temptation's way, no point at all. That said, if the lady is as good as you say, wife her already!

      Delete
    3. LMAO!This your partner odikwa like that thing very much. Do and marry her bikonu.

      Delete
    4. Looool! Thats a correct babe! I like her.

      Delete
    5. Well true, lack of regular sex increases chances of prostrate cancer in men. Ask your doc.

      Delete
    6. Lmao @ Maybel, abeg make another tin no follow o.

      Sunshine... Isn't it from relationship you decide if you want to marry sumbori?

      Kon... Why won't you like her? Lol

      Bloggitup... I'm working on it but it might not be this year, that's why she's trying to tell me that she's ok with it but it's not healthy for me, so I better rethink my position, lol.

      Delete
  3. LOL!!!!!!! This your partner though...

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think in about another 1000 years, marriage wont be such a big deal anymore. Really..whats the big deal in marriage? Kids? You can have kids without marriage. Whats the big deal?

    Peace.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Steel ohh..hahhahahahahahah

    ReplyDelete

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