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Good Kisser!

"You should go out with me, I'm a really good kisser"

"Yeah right... everyone thinks they're a really good kisser". 

Lines from something I was watching yesterday, and paradoxically it hit me for the first time, everyone does think they're a really good kisser. 

Some years ago my friend used to go on and on about how great her kissing skills were. She'd swear that every guy who kissed her kept coming back for more. One day we got tired of hearing about this legendary kissing and asked her to describe it. Then she said "first I slowly run my tongue over his upper lip, then I suck it small. Then I run my tongue over his lower lip, I suck that one small too. Then I will now put my tongue in his mouth and suck his own tongue"

I remember thinking EEEEEW! But you couldn't tell sister nothing, as far as she was concerned, she was the one who created the French kiss!

Just like any normal person, I love kissing, there's nothing more leg-popping than a good kiss. But like most experienced people, I've had my fair share of horrid kisses. Very. Horrid. Kisses. 

In my quiet time, i'd look back, traumatized, and try to heal the mental scars such kisses left. And I would ask myself, "Why would someone kiss me so disgustingly yet so confidently?" It then occurred to me that they must be that confident because they've kissed other people that way over time and those people must have been fine with it.

That just goes to show that a "good kiss" is very likely subjective; what I term a great kiss might actually make you gag!

And just in case you're wondering, this is what a good kiss is to me; it starts slow and gently, it ALWAYS starts with the lips alone. If you're both feeling that and things start to get heavy then it's ok to introduce the tongue, but just a bit of it, the heavier things get the more tongue is introduced. But NEVER at any point should a whole tongue or even half be shoved into anyone's mouth. Also teeth MUST NOT touch, teeth have no place in a kiss, much less a good one, and once you feel saliva being transferred into your mouth it's no longer a kiss, it's an assault. Yuck!


You know the only reason I'm posting this is to know YOUR idea of a good kiss. So tell us people, what makes someone a good kisser? 
    And I'm always up for "my worst kiss" stories, so SPILLLL! All of it. Tell me about those horrid "deal breaker" kisses that turned potential love interests to virtual enemies. Haha! The weekend is here, it's okay to have some fun, yes?

Have a great weekend guys. TGIF.


  1. You must be in my mind Thelma. I kissed my long time crush yday for the 1st time and major disappointment. I have not answered his calls today because of it, I like him but the kiss was too bad.

    1. Won't you teach him? So you gonna let a good man (hopefully) go just because he's a bad kisser? Nawah for u woman

    2. Lmao,I can feel your pain

    3. Mouth odour on fleek I guess!!

    4. Lmao!!! being a crush doesn't automatically qualify him as a 'good man' @Eesah

    5. "I like him but the kiss was too bad" LMAO! I totally understand your pain sister. Fell out of love with an ex I already had 'our baby' names decided simply because of the his kissing skills. Some things can't be taught mbok!

  2. Worse kiss ever, someone kissed me without my consent, it was full on assault of my mouth and to make matters worse, his mouth smelled like a sewer filled with long dead rats. I could still smell it for days it was truly horrid and traumatizing.

    1. Choiiiii,your description is kill me I die,dead rats bawo? Lollll

  3. Both sexes kiss to become emotionally closer and that is what a good kiss shld do to ya.

    If you are not currently having erotic kissing sessions then I'm sorry for ya, coz that's the only way I define good kissing.

    So guys, if u wanna be a good/PASSIONATE kisser like mua, here are few things u've gotta consider added with all Themls stated above... For guys only *wink*

    * Brush your teeth at least twice a day o. (If it's been longer than 6 months, schedule your dental hygienist appointment today.)

    *abeg make una limit eating onions and garlic.

    * Shave your face very close and smooth. (change your blade!) No dey follow all dt beard gang shii

    *u can rub organic olive oil onto your face after shaving to soften your skin and stubble then wipe it off with a dry towel.

    - Approach her slowly for a kiss. Hold her in your arms first and let your heartbeats syncopate.

    - Find a comfortable spot to make out. Check the temperature, lighting and music.

    - Start on the "outside" periphery of her body, instead of zeroing in on her mouth first.

    - Kiss her forehead, eyelids, neck, cheeks, décolletage before kissing her lips.

    - When you kiss her lips, first start with a sweet series of small dry pecks. Make her want more before you give her more.

    - Move from her lips back to her neck, cheeks, forehead, then back to her lips.

    - Take it slowly and softly. Make your lips soft, full and lush so they feel sensual. Slide your lips across hers.

    - Do not hurry. Be in the moment and feel every sensation.

    - Take breaks. Breathe each other in deeply. Look into her eyes and connect with her.

    - Tell her how sexy and beautiful she is. Let her talk. Let her get anything out she needs to say so that she can surrender to the hot make out with you. (Possibly) *wink*

    - Be very expansive and joyful. Don't have any agenda for getting more than kisses. Don't kiss her to get sex. Kiss her for the sheer joy of all that sensation on your lips, tongue, mouth, face, hands, body...

    - Warm her up slowly and luxuriously. If you need to set a timer if you have a hard stop, set it and forget it. Go under into unbounded pleasure until the dinger dings.

    - Show her your desire for her. Growl, go, "Mmmmmmm...," make pleasure sounds.

    - Reward her efforts with verbal appreciation. Women need to HEAR your approval. This will allow her to relax and get even more turned on.

    - Mirror her actions too. Notice how she kisses you and kiss her back in the same ways and see if she responds.

    If it goes beyond here, then my hand no dey o

    1. All this tutorial on top kiss,hian!

    2. Eesahhh all this advice on top kiss??hiaaaannn.anyhoos,worse kiss for me was when d bobo took my whole tongue into his mouth and started spitting his saliva mouth,had to cough to stop him because he was enjoying d whole thing n I was almost throwing up,Ewwwwwwww. I guess that was my worse shaaaa.

    3. "Hold her in your arms first and let your heartbeats syncopate." Hia Easah! I never knew it was that serious. Thanks for the Kissing 101 sir.

    4. You forgot to add use mouthwash after brushing. Hian, must life be so complicated? I had to stop reading midway because if I try to remember all this I might forget to actually kiss.

    5. Thelma, see what you have brought upon us...... Eesah, odikwa serious oooo.

    6. Hmmmmmm...All this story on top kiss..I for don leave the person sleep wake up.

  4. Lol. Don't even know what I'm typing but I sha know that I was on TTB tonight. #Friday night things.


  5. This is serious o, @ Eesah, please how many hearts did you break to get this level of experience. Pray tell? (lol)

  6. My ex claimed he doesn't like kissing, after all my attempts. Abeg my mouth doesn't smell, I have trippled checked and asked others for their opinions even from my dentist. My other exes NEVA complained ever! (iv had plenty yummy kisses b4, belee dat).
    So this ex says he doesn't like kissing, that all his exes know this.
    So u r telling me that on our wedding day I can't kiss u? Can't kiss u randomly? Can't kiss u before, during and after sex? I just couldn't see myself living such a life as in 4eva and ever? Mba!! Cos I must 'kiss-cheat'.
    Pls is it possible not to like kissing?

    1. Maybe he uses it, specially, for other homophilic activities u don't know of...


    2. I don't know if it's possible to not like kissing but I've dated a girl who said she's not really into it. That caused some friction cos I love kissing die. It makes me feel closer to the person I'm dating. Without that deep emotional kiss I feel like it's just sex to you.

    3. Hhjmmmmmmmm Steele,I like kissing too ohhhh. Oya let's bond. Lmao*winks*

  7. Well many things make kissing great, but my most important is please make sure your breath doesn't stink, control your saliva and tongue. Also lightly sucking and nibbling on the bottom lip can be extremely sensuous.

    I knew a girl once that knew how to kiss die, the first time we kissed was after an event. After that we went to the after party and we couldn't stop kissing every chance we got. She ended up sleeping at mine cos the thought of not kissing the rest of the night seemed scary... That's the effect a good kiss should have. Hehe

  8. I can't categorically tell you how a good kiss goes, but it know it when I get it, and my toes are all the happier for it. A great kiss is simply divine....

  9. Thanks T, you made my day with this write up. All I had to do was to read comments and lmao, to make up for indoor Saturday night. Chineke gozie di nne

    1. Awww thanks I'm glad I could be of service. Amen, and you too.

  10. I just know a goo kiss wen I have one.


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