Skip to main content

To Wife Or Not To Wife?

Haha. It's the second day of 2016 and I thought most people would be in chill mode, reflecting and making resolutions that'd be broken by next week. But alas, for some people like my darling Femi, it's same sh*t different day. Lol. 

So he called, and the call started something like "Nwando I'm going to say something very deep, something very serious so be careful how you respond". He sounded so serious that I was almost scared he was going to say he's pregnant for me. Lol.

"Talk jor" I said, feigning nonchalance, trying to hide the nerves in my voice. 

"I'm slowly beginning to give up on you, I'm slowly beginning to lose interest in you. I'm asking you for the last time, do you think there's a chance that we can have a future together?"

Mtcheeeew! Is that it? "Nah, there's no chance jor". After hearing this for the thousandth time  he sighed resignedly. 

"Ok, so what about your cousin then?" He asked and I'm sure he could hear me roll my eyes. 
I explained for the upteenth time that my cousin is off limits and we had the argument again, the one where he insists that I'm not over him otherwise I'd let him date my cousin. He suggests that I'm being a clog in the wheel of love (errm, lust actually) because I'm jealous. That's far from the truth. Thing is, I've never heard it said, that someone hooked her first cousin up with her ex for them to have a relationship. I mean, we weren't just having a casual fling. We shared more than bodily fluids, we had an actual relationship, one that was meant to go somewhere. One both sensual and seemingly spiritual...

I told him it's not going to happen, and asked about the numerous barbies in his life. Femi sighed. "See, I really want to get married, I want to settle down. I just need a good girl. The girls I'm meeting their eyes are too open, they're too exposed; they are hiphop girls."  

LOL. Femi is razz sha! Hiphop gini?

"Then why don't you go to your village in Ado Ekiti and pick a wife na?" I scoffed.

"See, I'm not saying I don't want an exposed wife. Let me explain what I mean. For instance there's this girl that really likes me, I know she wants to settle down, and I like her gaaan. But see ehn, she drives a 6million Naira car, her rent is 1.8M a year, and she earns 150k a month. How!!!!  
     Abi na the other one wey dey like travel too much. No wahala, me sef I like to travel. But how am I supposed to feel that when we travelling, I fly economy while she's flying Business. Then her bags nko? Some cost thousands of dollars, yet she's not working oh. Business nko? She's not doing. And no be say her papa get money oh!" He paused for breath and I empathized quietly. 

"The problem is that there are too many girls like this these days and that's why I'm looking for a good girl. As you no gree for me, help me with your cousin na. Unless say you dey jealous?" He asked, checking again. 

So we talked a bit more, especially about the hiphop girls in his life, a bit about getting back together, and then in the alternative, him dating my cousin. He swears he's a changed man and therefore wouldn't give her the same wahala I experienced with him. 

Got me thinking, I'm certain I've got no residual feelings for him so I'm wondering; am I really being a clog in the wheel of love, should I do an official introduction and let them see where there's go? 
Or, is hooking my younger cousin (mid-20s) up with my ex boyfriend an absolute no-no? 

...And, he does like the first girl, the one with the 150k salary. When a man genuinely likes a woman, should an expensive lifestyle be a factor in wifying her up? 

Please tell me what you think. 


  1. No. Please don't. So they get married and your cousin's husband is your ex? Like you've had sex with your cousin's husband before? Errrrmm... super awkward! Is your cousin aware he is your ex? How will she feel about that? Also, I think love will be the last reason for wanting to marry your cousin.

  2. Of all the girls in Lagos it's your cousin that he must marry,he should park well jor.

    It's not about the life style, how can she afford that lifestyle on a 150k salary.Does she have money making tree in her back yard?

    Femi is not serious,there are plenty good girls in Lagos he is simply looking at the wrong places because that's the only place he usually looks. J

  3. For me, hooking him up with your younger cousin is a no-no. He should go get himself another girl please.

    That's how my long time friend SI will always say 'Oli since you don't want to date me, hook me up with your younger sister or one of your cousins na' infact anytime I use one of my sisters' or cousin's pics as dp on whatsapp, he'll want to meet her. Yeye dey smell.

  4. So, of all the girls in Nigeria( and the world) its your cousin he wants? Ok o

  5. I have read through, thought long and hard and I have concluded....
    Femi is mad.

    1. Hahahaha, I concur

    2. hahahaha...super mad and you,Thelma would be 'madder' to introduce him to your cousin

    3. lololol. I agree. J

  6. This kind of guy is what I refer to as "One chance".So,of all the girls of different shapes & sizes in Lagos,it's your cousin he wants.
    Like someone I know would say "Make him go sit down for poto poto joor"

  7. NO! Please don't introduce them. Too lazy to type further but please, don't.


  8. He ain't serious, there are plenty serious and decent girls in Lagos. He is looking @ the wrong places, and he isn't ready, when he is, the right girl will come.

  9. Happy new year T.. sorry oohh but he is very very Stupid! Your cousin for what nah...Mtchewww Big Fat NO!

  10. Lol, so even men are also "desperate" to marry? Never thought this day wld come...

    1. They are o,most especially when getting to their 30's.

  11. Lol.....

    Sounds reallyyyyy awkward.

  12. Your friend clearly doesn't know what he wants. Don't hook him up with your cousin Biko... That ado ekiti trip is just what he needs.
    To your last question, my answer would be no! The source of funding for the lifestyle however is another matter, in which case it becomes a question of personal values and tolerance generally.

  13. Ahhh Femi....biko why now?

    Why have you chosen to do this to Ekiti sildren.....i mean we are generally really smart but you....Shakes head

  14. Check well o, maybe they sent him to conquer all the women in your family. What kind of nonsense?

    I dated a girl once who I earned more than but she her lifestyle was just like the hip-hop girls described above. One day she asked me why I can't take her more serious, and that it seems I don't trust her. I told her that on the contrary I trust her a lot, to keep doing whatever it is she does to afford her lifestyle and I don't expect her to stop. So that's why I really don't see her as someone I'd want to get married to.
    In my opinion if you constantly accept cash and gifts from other men and claim you're in a relationship then you really don't respect the person your in a relationship with. And what exactly do you do for these men that give you all these gifts?

  15. I would never introduce my ex to anyone. Not even my great great grand ma. Hmm hes looking for a good girl, how good of a man is he? Just saying...
    Maxi Dress - Casual Wear

  16. Let me play devil's advocate. .. What is wrong if we just agree that because there are many women out there doesnt mean they are all eligible for him if he looks.(technically, he looked and found)

    Do u know what it takes to find a good woman these days, that's got no ulterior motive(s)? #menstruggle

    Luckily, our guy here doesn't have to look too hard and he found one with his ex's cousin. He didn't go behind her back rather he's seeking for her(Thelma's) permission. I mean, I'm sure Thelma can testify that this guy isn't so much of a 'demon' or 'lover boy'(right?) (I mean, ain't nobody got time for that these days). Man must settle down and he wants to, and he has found one and u guys want to deprive him of his chance for a happy life? Seriously.

    Please Thelma if you know this isn't much of an issue. Let your ex be happy abeg!

    He he he****

  17. hmmm Thelma with her tales by moon light story.

  18. I would say don't introduce him to your cousin, it would turn into an awkward situation later on.

    Definitely a potential's lifestyle would influence your decision to be with them or not. Abi how can you buy sateen sheets for your mattress when you constantly have light at home?

  19. Not a good idea introducing him to ur cousin if u really love ur cousin. Sure u do. He doesn't sound mature.


Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Turia Pitt Suffered 65% Burns But Loved Conquered All...

Amazing Story Shared by Dr. Ben Carson on Facebook, i thought it is inspiring and i decided to share;

The Australian ex-model Turia Pitt suffered burns to 65 per cent of her body, lost her fingers and thumb on her right hand and spent five months in hospital after she was trapped by a grassfire in a 100 kilometre ultra-marathon in the Kimberley. Her boyfriend decided to quit his job to care for her recovery. 
Days ago, in an interview for CNN they asked him:
"Did you at any moment think about leaving her and hiring someone to take care of her and moving on with your life?"

His reply touched the world:

"I married her soul, her character, and she's the only woman that will continue to fulfill my dreams."

This made me very reflective. I just wonder; if the person you love today encounters an incident or accident that transforms who they are physically, it could be amputation, it could be paralysis, it could be severe burns that scald their flesh beyond recognition, w…


Good morning people! 
Just checking in to sign the register. Lol. It's been a very busy week and it looks like it might be an even busier weekend. I was hoping to get some writing done when I got to the airport yesterday but I even almost missed my flight. It was hopeless trying to do any work on the plane as it was bumpy af, and this toddler behind me wouldn't stop screaming in piercing shrieks like he was being exorcised. 
I got into town pretty late and needed to keep an appointment ASAP. I'm heading out right now and it's going to be a long day, but thought I should drop this first. 
Have a splendid day. Im'ma be back soon.

One More Post...


He was my coursemate, crush, then my boyfriend.... he was super
intelligent, smart, tall, dark and handsome. Believe me he got
swag, but he didn't seem to notice me. (I'm a nerd but a sassy one
if I say so myself).  So oneday I decided to take it to another level..
After listening to a song "IF YOU LOVE SOMEBODY TELL THEM THAT YOU
LOVE THEM and watching the season film of The Secret Life of
American Teenagers. ..when Amy Jeugerns mum told her "you are only
young once". LOL that part got me.
Hope you know what i mean?

Though I'm okay with chemistry class I approached him to coach me for
the Quiz that was coming up, we found out that we had this
great chemistry between us.. hehehe both the covalent and
electrovalent bonds....

So one thing led to another till one unusual Saturday. I invited
him to my house and he came. The guy got swag, he even came
with a packet of durex condom.
We talked for a while and and and and and and
See how you are serious dey read this story....!


A side chick is commonly known as a mistress or a woman that’s romantically involved with a man who is in a committed relationship.  However after doing some reflecting, I realize that’s not the only type of side chick.  I want to discuss “the new side chick”–a woman who decides to stay by a man’s side after he has expressed his lack of relationship intentions with her through his words or actions.  So many women have made this mistake at least once in their lifetime, and unfortunately I’ve done the same thing. I like to think of the new side chick as an appetizer.  You’re there just to satisfy the immediate appetite of the man, but as soon as that mouth-watering entrée comes out to the table, you will get pushed to the side, literally.  Why?  Because that entrée is what he really wanted; he went to the restaurant to order steak, not hot wings.  You were just a placeholder, fling, temporary commitment, or  maybe even just a “good ol time” until what he really wanted was presented to hi…


I'm in an amebo mood tonight. Don't ask me, I honestly don't know why. Also I'd like to share too but I'd do that anonymously in the comment section. Tonight I want to talk about secrets. It's ok, we can all be anonymous. 
Is it true that EVERYBODY has a secret? 
Is there anyone here who doesn't have a secret? I'd really like to know; You're a completely open book and there's not ONE thing about you that you wouldn't mind other people knowing about? Please raise your hands up. 
And for the rest of us, what's something about you that no one knows, or very few people know? Who's got a dark secret here, or a weird one, or a funny one even? I really don't mean to be invasive but I don't want to be the only one sharing, plus I think hearing other people's secrets is quite fun, don't you think?

Closed Chapter...

Hello everyone, yesterday a friend said to me, Thelma I love your blog, I've told so many people about your blog, I think you're a very good writer but I feel there's something you're not doing right"

This friend was the first person who won our beauty of the day contest back then in 2014. Then we had met just once through a mutual friend. I mentioned the blog to her and she became an instant reader. I wouldn't have exactly called her a friend then but yesterday as we sat down waiting for our Uber to come get us from Wal-Mart, she's definitely my friend and I knew she was coming from a good place when she said she had much higher expectations of my blog.

Me too.

But you see, in the last year or so, maybe even longer than that, I haven't felt much joy in blogging. It began to feel more and more of a laborious chore, one which I hardly reaped any fruits from.

I really love writing, I love sharing my life and my experiences with others and I've enjoy…

Let's Be Random Together! (Open Keypad).

Hey guys, a while back blog reader F said something about creating an Open Keypad post, where you can write whatever you want in the comment section. I thought it was a fun idea!
So who is interested? Comment on anything you feel like, ask me or anyone a question, talk about how your day went, your job, your interests, tell us something about you that we don't know, share a testimony with us, rant about anything you feel like, talk about your crush/boo/spouse/relationship/marriage, challenges you're facing, ANYTHING AT ALL! 
I'll only make one request; that we stay civil. 

(F it was you who made this suggestion, right? I'm not too sure and I can't even remember the post the comment was made on). 
BTW please Ejoeccome out come out, wherever you are!

Adventures, Fun, Friendship & Laughter at the TTB Hangout (Lekki Conservation Center).

Nicole to Clare: mummy lets go. I want to climb that ropy thing!

Isn't Clare beautiful?!

Uyi et moi. Clowning. 

Mother & child. 

Scary af! Trish on the ramp. The chica loves the outdoors so much, she was like a kid in a candy store. She and Uyi took this walk twice! More power to them, you can't pay me to do this a second time.

Uyi & Tiwa