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To Wife Or Not To Wife?





Haha. It's the second day of 2016 and I thought most people would be in chill mode, reflecting and making resolutions that'd be broken by next week. But alas, for some people like my darling Femi, it's same sh*t different day. Lol. 

So he called, and the call started something like "Nwando I'm going to say something very deep, something very serious so be careful how you respond". He sounded so serious that I was almost scared he was going to say he's pregnant for me. Lol.

"Talk jor" I said, feigning nonchalance, trying to hide the nerves in my voice. 

"I'm slowly beginning to give up on you, I'm slowly beginning to lose interest in you. I'm asking you for the last time, do you think there's a chance that we can have a future together?"

Mtcheeeew! Is that it? "Nah, there's no chance jor". After hearing this for the thousandth time  he sighed resignedly. 

"Ok, so what about your cousin then?" He asked and I'm sure he could hear me roll my eyes. 
 
I explained for the upteenth time that my cousin is off limits and we had the argument again, the one where he insists that I'm not over him otherwise I'd let him date my cousin. He suggests that I'm being a clog in the wheel of love (errm, lust actually) because I'm jealous. That's far from the truth. Thing is, I've never heard it said, that someone hooked her first cousin up with her ex for them to have a relationship. I mean, we weren't just having a casual fling. We shared more than bodily fluids, we had an actual relationship, one that was meant to go somewhere. One both sensual and seemingly spiritual...

I told him it's not going to happen, and asked about the numerous barbies in his life. Femi sighed. "See, I really want to get married, I want to settle down. I just need a good girl. The girls I'm meeting their eyes are too open, they're too exposed; they are hiphop girls."  

LOL. Femi is razz sha! Hiphop gini?

"Then why don't you go to your village in Ado Ekiti and pick a wife na?" I scoffed.

"See, I'm not saying I don't want an exposed wife. Let me explain what I mean. For instance there's this girl that really likes me, I know she wants to settle down, and I like her gaaan. But see ehn, she drives a 6million Naira car, her rent is 1.8M a year, and she earns 150k a month. How!!!!  
     Abi na the other one wey dey like travel too much. No wahala, me sef I like to travel. But how am I supposed to feel that when we travelling, I fly economy while she's flying Business. Then her bags nko? Some cost thousands of dollars, yet she's not working oh. Business nko? She's not doing. And no be say her papa get money oh!" He paused for breath and I empathized quietly. 

"The problem is that there are too many girls like this these days and that's why I'm looking for a good girl. As you no gree for me, help me with your cousin na. Unless say you dey jealous?" He asked, checking again. 

So we talked a bit more, especially about the hiphop girls in his life, a bit about getting back together, and then in the alternative, him dating my cousin. He swears he's a changed man and therefore wouldn't give her the same wahala I experienced with him. 

Got me thinking, I'm certain I've got no residual feelings for him so I'm wondering; am I really being a clog in the wheel of love, should I do an official introduction and let them see where there's go? 
Or, is hooking my younger cousin (mid-20s) up with my ex boyfriend an absolute no-no? 

...And, he does like the first girl, the one with the 150k salary. When a man genuinely likes a woman, should an expensive lifestyle be a factor in wifying her up? 

Please tell me what you think. 



Comments

  1. No. Please don't. So they get married and your cousin's husband is your ex? Like you've had sex with your cousin's husband before? Errrrmm... super awkward! Is your cousin aware he is your ex? How will she feel about that? Also, I think love will be the last reason for wanting to marry your cousin.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Of all the girls in Lagos it's your cousin that he must marry,he should park well jor.

    It's not about the life style, how can she afford that lifestyle on a 150k salary.Does she have money making tree in her back yard?

    Femi is not serious,there are plenty good girls in Lagos he is simply looking at the wrong places because that's the only place he usually looks. J

    ReplyDelete
  3. For me, hooking him up with your younger cousin is a no-no. He should go get himself another girl please.

    That's how my long time friend SI will always say 'Oli since you don't want to date me, hook me up with your younger sister or one of your cousins na' infact anytime I use one of my sisters' or cousin's pics as dp on whatsapp, he'll want to meet her. Yeye dey smell.

    ReplyDelete
  4. So, of all the girls in Nigeria( and the world) its your cousin he wants? Ok o

    ReplyDelete
  5. I have read through, thought long and hard and I have concluded....
    Femi is mad.
    Kratos

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahahaha, I concur

      Delete
    2. hahahaha...super mad and you,Thelma would be 'madder' to introduce him to your cousin

      Delete
    3. lololol. I agree. J

      Delete
  6. This kind of guy is what I refer to as "One chance".So,of all the girls of different shapes & sizes in Lagos,it's your cousin he wants.
    Like someone I know would say "Make him go sit down for poto poto joor"

    ReplyDelete
  7. NO! Please don't introduce them. Too lazy to type further but please, don't.

    -F

    ReplyDelete
  8. He ain't serious, there are plenty serious and decent girls in Lagos. He is looking @ the wrong places, and he isn't ready, when he is, the right girl will come.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Happy new year T.. sorry oohh but he is very very Stupid! Your cousin for what nah...Mtchewww Big Fat NO!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lol, so even men are also "desperate" to marry? Never thought this day wld come...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are o,most especially when getting to their 30's.

      Delete
  11. Lol.....


    Sounds reallyyyyy awkward.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Your friend clearly doesn't know what he wants. Don't hook him up with your cousin Biko... That ado ekiti trip is just what he needs.
    To your last question, my answer would be no! The source of funding for the lifestyle however is another matter, in which case it becomes a question of personal values and tolerance generally.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ahhh Femi....biko why now?

    Why have you chosen to do this to Ekiti sildren.....i mean we are generally really smart but you....Shakes head

    ReplyDelete
  14. Check well o, maybe they sent him to conquer all the women in your family. What kind of nonsense?

    I dated a girl once who I earned more than but she her lifestyle was just like the hip-hop girls described above. One day she asked me why I can't take her more serious, and that it seems I don't trust her. I told her that on the contrary I trust her a lot, to keep doing whatever it is she does to afford her lifestyle and I don't expect her to stop. So that's why I really don't see her as someone I'd want to get married to.
    In my opinion if you constantly accept cash and gifts from other men and claim you're in a relationship then you really don't respect the person your in a relationship with. And what exactly do you do for these men that give you all these gifts?

    ReplyDelete
  15. I would never introduce my ex to anyone. Not even my great great grand ma. Hmm hes looking for a good girl, how good of a man is he? Just saying...

    Epiphany29.com
    Maxi Dress - Casual Wear

    ReplyDelete
  16. Let me play devil's advocate. .. What is wrong if we just agree that because there are many women out there doesnt mean they are all eligible for him if he looks.(technically, he looked and found)

    Do u know what it takes to find a good woman these days, that's got no ulterior motive(s)? #menstruggle

    Luckily, our guy here doesn't have to look too hard and he found one with his ex's cousin. He didn't go behind her back rather he's seeking for her(Thelma's) permission. I mean, I'm sure Thelma can testify that this guy isn't so much of a 'demon' or 'lover boy'(right?) (I mean, ain't nobody got time for that these days). Man must settle down and he wants to, and he has found one and u guys want to deprive him of his chance for a happy life? Seriously.

    Please Thelma if you know this isn't much of an issue. Let your ex be happy abeg!

    He he he****

    ReplyDelete
  17. hmmm Thelma with her tales by moon light story.

    ReplyDelete
  18. I would say don't introduce him to your cousin, it would turn into an awkward situation later on.

    Definitely a potential's lifestyle would influence your decision to be with them or not. Abi how can you buy sateen sheets for your mattress when you constantly have light at home?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Not a good idea introducing him to ur cousin if u really love ur cousin. Sure u do. He doesn't sound mature.

    ReplyDelete

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